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A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 6:05:36 AM   
SpanishMatMaster


Posts: 967
Joined: 9/28/2011
Status: offline 		No, you do not need 3D glasses for it.

DISCLAIMER: This is just my friggin' opinion. No more, nor less. I do not pretend to impose it on anybody.

Ok... imagine a line. One dimension. The name of this line is "control". It referst to the act of controlling someone else.
There is a point 0. That is... no control.
There is a positive direction: You control.
And a negative: You are controlled.

There are sexual things in the middle (smoochy sex), a bit in one side (holding the arms), more (bondage) and more (micro-controlling, total domination, objectification).

Some people like to be controlled very much. They cover the extreme negative values (this is not a judgement, God bless our cute and wonderful submissive partners). Some like to be controlled a bit. Some like to control. Some like BOTH. Some people can cover nothing on this line, not even the point 0 (they just do not like sex). Some only the point 0 and few in both directions (I call them vanilla). Some cover *two* segments at both sides but not the space between (switches who dislike vanilla). Any person can cover any sequence of segments in both directions.

Now expand the model. Add a vertical line. The name is "pain". Positive is to suffer pain. Negative is to provoke pain (just to make the language more just, this time I would be in the negative side). Again... there are things in the middle (more smoochy sex), a bit (slap in the butt) and more and more extreme.

Here people also like segments, but they combine with the first dimension, so what you have is areas. Areas of interests for every person. Some people tend to have an area similar to a circle ("no matter the role and the direction, just no vanilla!") some look more like a semicircle or like a quarter of a circle (that would be me).

Now expand it with a third dimension. The name is "humiliation". To be humiliated, or to humiliate.

The same process again. Now we have volumes in a space, defining what we like and do not like.

Add now a gray color. It represents "nor like not dislike". Represent the things you like brighter, and the ones you can't accept as darker or completely black ("never in my life I will... I would prefer to die before I...").

What is, then, BDSM?

Well, first define vanilla. Vanilla is a ball around (0, 0, 0).

BDSM is the rest.

When is somebody "in" BDSM?

When her "likes" cover a significantly bigger area of BDSM, as the average of the population of her culture.

Best regards.


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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 7:15:24 AM   
GreedyTop


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Status: offline 		they are "IN" it when it works for them.

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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 7:23:36 AM   
Snort


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Status: offline 		Wait, what about diapers? Can we have a 4th dimension just for diapers? Then I could say, "I'm just a 3 dimensional Dom" and everyone would just immediately know I don't play in the 4th dimension. just sayin'




*** just sayin that 3D is too limiting ***

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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 7:31:58 AM   
GreedyTop


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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 7:42:11 AM   
DesFIP


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Status: offline 		Why do you assume that all power relationships include s & m? They don't. There is no intrinsic correlation between power and kink. Some people prefer equal power but are far reaching in kink. Others the total opposite. Some enjoy being in charge and also receiving sensation play instead of giving it.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than dreamt of in your philosophy.


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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 8:49:53 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		wow...I didn't know I needed some kind of graph just to be in a relationship!

Dude....it's not that complicated. If you like it with someone and they do too, do it...whatever that thing is you both enjoy. If neither of you do, don't do it. If one of you does and the other doesn't then you both figure it out from there.

So glad I don't lead such a complicated and over-thinking life. lol


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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 8:54:29 AM   
Endivius


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Status: offline 		I don't need a mathematical graph or string theory to know I like to dominate women. And I certainly don't need one to explain to me why I like it. And I don't even care why she likes it. She just needs to do it.

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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 9:13:28 AM   
JanahX


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Status: offline 		I couldnt even read that. It was that horrible.

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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 9:40:29 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Why do you assume that all power relationships include s & m? They don't. There is no intrinsic correlation between power and kink. Some people prefer equal power but are far reaching in kink. Others the total opposite. Some enjoy being in charge and also receiving sensation play instead of giving it.

He didn't. With this post, you have managed to completely miss the point of what he was saying, to the point of utter ridiculousness. Have you ever actually seen a graph of anything?

The idea of the graph he's proposing is that power goes on one axis and sadomasochism goes on another - he's saying they're entirely unrelated. It's possible in his system to have a very high level of power exchange and still be a 0 on the sadomasochism scale. In fact every one of the situations you've listed could easily be represented in his system, although you'd need another axis for sensation play (or you could set the third axis to be sensation play instead of humiliation play, but that's another argument that I guess could be reserved for people who are capable of understanding the concept of the thing in the first place.)

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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 10:49:40 AM   
SimplyMichael


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Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		What uttet simplistic crap. I have a couple i know where one is daddy to the girl and that girl is het daddys master and her daddy is her slave grapgh that. All vanilla couples have a power dynamic, many quite extreme.

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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 10:53:19 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

What uttet simplistic crap. I have a couple i know where one is daddy to the girl and that girl is het daddys master and her daddy is her slave grapgh that. All vanilla couples have a power dynamic, many quite extreme.

Just to play devil's advocate

You put D/lg on one axis and M/s on the other.

Simples!

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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 10:59:44 AM   
MissImmortalPain


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Status: offline 		Are you asking each of us to point out where we would fall on your scale, or are you just wanting us to imagine it for ourselves? Do you, in this line of thought, understand that for many there is no "what is bdsm" and "what is vanila". I believe I understand the point of your chart but for many it would cross back and forth so many times that it would be unreadable by any but the person that penned the lines to begin with.

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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 11:02:31 AM   
tazzygirl


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Status: offline 		Point "0" is the orgasm.. I dont care where I fall on the graph to get there... I just wanna get there.

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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 11:08:02 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Just to play devil's advocate

You put D/lg on one axis and M/s on the other.

Simples!


that doesn't work either!!!

this is a weird concept and is... i dunno... i guess "weird" is all i can say. i don't know what the graph is really supposed to address or teach us about people who are into BDSM.

as was said before, power dynamics do not always include S&M and S&M relationships do not always include power dynamics. your graph only really applies to the type of chicks you're probably interested in. some people do S&M without humiliation, some people do humiliation without power dynamics. and where's objectification? because objectification and humiliation aren't necessarily the same thing.




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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 11:12:09 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		Id rather feeel it than graph it

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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 12:40:27 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I wanted to get this but without a visual it's just like someone explaining how to set up my home network. I switch off because it has no real application for me...as in, * Do it for me, please*. I found it hard to care whether someone might be regarded as *in* bdsm or not.

agirl








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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 1:49:18 PM   
ProlificNeeds


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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 1:51:54 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Why do you assume that all power relationships include s & m? They don't. There is no intrinsic correlation between power and kink. Some people prefer equal power but are far reaching in kink. Others the total opposite. Some enjoy being in charge and also receiving sensation play instead of giving it.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than dreamt of in your philosophy.



Agreed. And then there are those of us (my honey & I, for example) who don't have or want a power/control dynamic. All we want is the s & m. He likes giving pain, I like receiving. It works for us. He's not dominant, I am not submissive.

OP- Things aren't cut & dried. (Unless we're talking cutting designs or needles, of course.)


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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 2:44:56 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BurntKitty

Agreed. And then there are those of us (my honey & I, for example) who don't have or want a power/control dynamic. All we want is the s & m. He likes giving pain, I like receiving. It works for us. He's not dominant, I am not submissive.



In which case you'd be somewhere up there on the masochistic side of the scale and he'd be somewhere directly opposite on the sadistic side of the same axis, and you'd both be a 0 on the power exchange axis. This graph is built for people like you; if there was an equivalence between d/s and s and m then there'd be no point putting them both on the same graph.

Both of you are saying he's wrong for saying the exact opposite of what he's actually saying. He's not saying that things are 'cut and dried' at all, or that there's any link between sadism and masochism.

Seriously, this isn't rocket science. I'd expect a teenager to understand the concept of a graph of three different variables - and the idea that putting those three variables into one graph isn't the same as saying they are all equivalent. Y'all are adults. If you're not comfortable with maths then fine, but don't go telling the guy he's wrong for saying something he's going out of his way to say the opposite of.

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RE: A 3D model of BDSM - 10/12/2011 4:48:12 PM   
TheFireWithinMe


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Point "0" is the orgasm.. I dont care where I fall on the graph to get there... I just wanna get there.


Soooooooooooooooooooo QFFT!


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