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slave initiative - 10/19/2011 1:42:17 PM   
slaveSarah56


Posts: 7
Joined: 10/19/2008
Status: offline 		Here's a question I've been wondering about, for those of you who are slaves, how much initiative are you allowed to have? or are you expected to show initiative in your M/s relationship?

Any Masters or Mistresses reading, please do answer too.

Regards,

sarah
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: slave initiative - 10/19/2011 1:46:21 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		If he wants something done, it's up to me to get it done in whichever way works. That is, unless it's something with a procedure he wants me to follow, in which case I'll do it that way.

He expects me to use my initiative when it's needed - he doesn't want to micromanage but he does want results

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(in reply to slaveSarah56)
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RE: slave initiative - 10/19/2011 2:25:57 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		I think you're going to find that every relationship is different.  Some Masters/Mistresses enjoy total control, and don't want their slave to show initiative.  Others don't want to be bothered with micromanaging, and prefer a slave with initiative.

The only one who can answer the question properly is YOUR master.  Any other answers are basically useless.

(in reply to slaveSarah56)
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RE: slave initiative - 10/19/2011 3:08:24 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
The only one who can answer the question properly is YOUR master.  Any other answers are basically useless.

Agreed.

Master has made his wishes known about how he wants this household run. How it gets that way is up to me. As a second note about initiative, he also expects me to try to anticipate his needs.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
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RE: slave initiative - 10/19/2011 4:08:38 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		He doesn't have the time or inclination to micromanage our days.

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Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to slaveSarah56)
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RE: slave initiative - 10/19/2011 4:19:08 PM   
RaspberryLemon


Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline 		I'm allowed plenty of initiative. As long as it doesn't interfere with his wishes, our protocol, or an order I've been given, it's all fair game. There's no micromanaging going on here. If he wants something done I'll do it, and unless he wants it done in a specific way, it's up to me how it's done. He values my intelligence, passion, and my ability to keep things efficient. And so he trusts that if he wants me to do something, it will be done as a priority in a prompt, efficient, and satisfactory manner, no matter how important or menial the task.

And, similar to what OsideGirl said, he does expect me to anticipate his wishes to an extent, and at the very least take the initiative in offering him certain things/doing certain things without being asked. This includes anything from offering him drinks/massages/etc., to initiating sexual intimacy.



(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: slave initiative - 10/19/2011 4:56:18 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		On some things yes, on other things no. I've known him long enough to know what things he's ok with and what things he's not ok with. If I'm not sure I'll ask him but for the most part I just know. He doesn't expect or want me to ask him and wait for him on every tiny little thing in our lives. It would be tedious and he's too busy to do that. There are times when I've been wrong though and I usually get a lecture from him and I know for next time.



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Everything has changed

(in reply to RaspberryLemon)
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RE: slave initiative - 10/19/2011 5:26:19 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Initiative and making independant decisions that impact the Dom/Master are different things and often confused.

If he tells me he wants his laundry cleaned, I take the initiative to do all of it, and with the best tools available, if that means taking a stubborn stain to the dry cleaners, that is initiative.

If he has never asked me to touch his laundry and I presume to do it without knowing his thoughts or wants on the matter, that's making a decision for him. Maybe he only wants his things dry cleaned, maybe he pays some unemployed friend to do his laundry so she can make some extra cash, it's impossible to know unless it's discussed.

Some things are obviously too small to be thought on much, but then your Master might be extreamly fussy and enjoy when you ask before doing. It's a very personalized relationship thing, but on the whole I do not know many real life relationships, D/s or Vanilla, where one party enjoys micromanaging the other for mundane day to day things.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: slave initiative - 10/19/2011 6:06:54 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		I am not only expected to show initiative in most things, I am required to. It is up to me to fit my duties in to my day along with school and time out for play/sex. How I manage that and how I carry out my duties isn't their department, it is mine. I'm also expected to provide my input, advice, and suggestions on all issues and decisions.

(in reply to slaveSarah56)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: slave initiative - 10/19/2011 7:45:37 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

I am not only expected to show initiative in most things, I am required to. It is up to me to fit my duties in to my day along with school and time out for play/sex. How I manage that and how I carry out my duties isn't their department, it is mine. I'm also expected to provide my input, advice, and suggestions on all issues and decisions.



Suggest you have fewer "duties", leaving more time for "play" -- not because I think you should, but because I'm curious if I can hear the smacky-sounds and screams from here.



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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: slave initiative - 10/19/2011 11:30:50 PM   
RaspberryLemon


Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather
I'm also expected to provide my input, advice, and suggestions on all issues and decisions.

And it is the same for me. To my Master, I am worth very much for my mind, and he places great value on my opinions. Thus, initiative is pretty essential.

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: slave initiative - 10/20/2011 1:49:02 AM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		Me personally, I am ok with it when the lady takes initiative, as long as I am consulted in the process. Failure to do so, would irritate me.

For example, if she wanted to cook me diner, I would expect her to contact me and ask what I would like to have. If she just cooked some random thing and then I came home expecting to go out to dinner, or had plans for a specific meal, this would lead to a serious discussion, and probably proceed some ....negative motivational therapy.

Conversely, if she took the initiative to do something and it was not to my standard of satisfaction, it would lead to the same result. If she wants to do something for me, she should do it all the way to the fullest extent of my expectations or not undertake the task at all. If there are some outside unforseen obstacle that prevented her from being able to do so, I would accept that and tell her how proud I was of her, right before I nailed the Oscilator to a chair and tied her to it.

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Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to slaveSarah56)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: slave initiative - 10/20/2011 3:08:19 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'm lazy.  Initiative on the part of my sub is welcomed.

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Endivius)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: slave initiative - 10/20/2011 6:07:21 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		in my last relationship, he appreciated any and all initiative because, to him, it was a sign that i was happy. if something had to be done in a particular way, like with his projects and stuff i'd help with, he would show me the steps and supervise until he was satisfied that i could do it on my own.
he also specifically explained how he likes things done; like where to put laundry, how to make the bed, etc, so i could go on auto pilot and get things done that way.

in the current service-type whateveritis thingie i'm involved in, i don't take as much initiative because i'm not always sure how something's going to be done on any given day. there are a couple of mundane things i know specifically, like dishes or laundry, but many other things that haven't been explained, or change depending on the day. so i just wait for direct instructions, that way i don't break anything or hurt myself, or put something somewhere no one can find it, or whatever. =p
plus, while my previous relationship was 1-on-1, this current "whateveritisi" is not, so that changes the rules quite a bit.



< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 10/20/2011 6:08:34 AM >

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RE: slave initiative - 10/20/2011 6:11:40 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I expect her to be proactive in looking out for me and my interests. Hell yes I support initiative, as long as it stays within lines.

Example. When my glass is empty I don't want to have to find her to fill it. I want her getting me a new cup when the first glass starts getting low. That way I'm never out.
Take that same principle, expand outwards into other areas of my life and you'll start to get the picture.



< Message edited by Kana -- 10/20/2011 6:13:31 AM >

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(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: slave initiative - 10/20/2011 6:36:45 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Some D types like more anticipatory service than others. The Man expects me to have dinner ready unless he's told me otherwise or we're not going to be home in time for me to do any cooking. He almost never wants any input into it.

I sometimes refill his glass but sometimes don't. If it's hot weather, then I do because he'll want more cold water. If the weather isn't hot, I have to ask because he may well want tea instead.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: slave initiative - 10/20/2011 9:39:57 AM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		Daddy has expectations and guidelines for me to go by and I am allowed & expected to have plenty of initiative in how those things get done. With a submissive of my own, I am NOT a micro-manager & I have no desire to be. I have expectations and guidelines on what should happen and I also expect plenty of initiative on how those things are going to happen.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: slave initiative - 10/20/2011 1:34:40 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RaspberryLemon

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather
I'm also expected to provide my input, advice, and suggestions on all issues and decisions.

And it is the same for me. To my Master, I am worth very much for my mind, and he places great value on my opinions. Thus, initiative is pretty essential.

Same here. One of my strong points is linear logic, so he frequently likes to bounce things off of me, even things pertaining to his business.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to RaspberryLemon)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: slave initiative - 10/20/2011 1:39:25 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

For example, if she wanted to cook me diner, I would expect her to contact me and ask what I would like to have. If she just cooked some random thing and then I came home expecting to go out to dinner, or had plans for a specific meal, this would lead to a serious discussion, and probably proceed some ....negative motivational therapy.

Master for the most part leaves the menu up to me. Once in awhile I will ask him if I'm waffling between what to make. If he wants something specific or wants to go out, he usually let's me know early enough in the day, so that it's not an issue.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Endivius)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: slave initiative - 10/20/2011 2:09:11 PM   
slaveSarah56


Posts: 7
Joined: 10/19/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you all for your wonderful replies. You are all very kind.

I was merely wondering about expected levels of initiative. You all answered brilliantly. I think every relationship is different as per each individual Master or Dom, well, of course it is. It's a learning thing I have to do.

Regards,

sarah

(in reply to Hisprettybaby)
Profile   Post #: 20
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