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Live-in tips - 10/19/2011 9:57:07 PM   
slavejessi


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/16/2006
From: Ohio
Status: offline 		Hi,

I am new to Collarme. I have been involved in BDSM on and off for about 3 years now.

I am considering doing a live in for a brief amount of time with a Dom. I have never really done live ins before
so I am asking other Doms what I should expect.

Tips, and suggestions are all welcomed!

Sorry if that wasn't enough info, brief live in just means a short time. And I know him somewhat well, I did not meet him on here, i met him
offline.

< Message edited by slavejessi -- 10/19/2011 10:05:30 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Live-in tips - 10/19/2011 10:00:37 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		Doing a brief live in? What does that mean?

How well do you know this guy?

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to slavejessi)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Live-in tips - 10/19/2011 10:01:52 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		You should ask the guy you're going to live with. No one here can in any way answer that question. (unless he's here on the forums)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Live-in tips - 10/19/2011 10:19:40 PM   
AneNoz


Posts: 263
Joined: 4/26/2011
Status: offline 		You name yourself a slave. A slave obeys. That is all you need concern yourself of.

Be at peace
Aneka

(in reply to slavejessi)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Live-in tips - 10/19/2011 10:24:48 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		depends.

I'm not sure what you mean by brief and I'm guessing you're not in a relationship with him but I'm going to guess you'll be doing a lot of cleaning, sucking dick, fucking, running chores and fucking some more.

Only he would know for sure though.




_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to AneNoz)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Live-in tips - 10/19/2011 11:20:22 PM   
SoulAlloy


Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline 		Yeah it all depends really, are you going for 24/7 brief live in? Or is it going to be more of a time together interspersed with play?

Either way it's down to the pair of you, he in what he wants you to do and you in how much you're willing to do.

_____________________________

"Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without" - Confucius

"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Live-in tips - 10/20/2011 12:49:58 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejessi

Hi,

I am new to Collarme. I have been involved in BDSM on and off for about 3 years now.

I am considering doing a live in for a brief amount of time with a Dom. I have never really done live ins before
so I am asking other Doms what I should expect.

Tips, and suggestions are all welcomed!

Sorry if that wasn't enough info, brief live in just means a short time. And I know him somewhat well, I did not meet him on here, i met him
offline.


Ok, so you know the guy "kinda" well. You never really know someone until you live with them, I've found. Anyway, since you say "brief," it sounds like there will be no relationship other than the BDSM one. Are you friends as well? Are you attracted to this man, and he you? Have you both considered what happens if feelings develop for each other? Or worse, one develops feelings and the other doesn't?

You say you have been involved in BDSM before, so live in is basically the same thing, only 24/7. Do you have an outside job or go to school? Have you discussed how that fits in with your "brief live in?"

Have the two of you discussed what you each are expecting out of this? As for the concept that you are a "slave" and a slave simply obeys, that is true for some, not as true for others. You and he have to make your own way about this.

Do you have a list of limits you have discussed? You know, the "I'm interested in this, but scared," "Don't try this on me if you want to live to see another day.." those kinds of things?

Best tip you can get was already given. Talk to HIM and find out what HE expects. If it isn't what you expect, negotiate. If you can't negotiate, then pass on the whole idea. If you get there and it sucks, know you are free to leave whenever you want. If you get there and it's great, discuss extending your stay, or making the relationship more than just temporary.

Think of every question you can possibly have about this, and then sit down and ask him. Work from there.

And good luck!

(in reply to slavejessi)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Live-in tips - 10/20/2011 1:10:30 AM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejessi

I am considering doing a live in for a brief amount of time with a Dom. I have never really done live ins before so I am asking other Doms what I should expect.


Expect nothing. Talk to him and find out what HE expects, and then decide if you can accomodate those expectations. If not, don't do it. Pretty simple.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to slavejessi)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Live-in tips - 10/20/2011 6:26:35 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Discuss with him how your daily life and his will mesh. If you're in school, you'll need a quiet place to study and enough time to do so. Is he planning to give you any time to decompress or not? Do you sleep with the tv on or off, window open or shut, etc.That kind of stuff can be a big problem.

How are you dividing up bills? If this doesn't work out, do you have a place to move back to or enough money to rent a place?


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Endivius)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Live-in tips - 10/20/2011 6:58:33 AM   
wolf223


Posts: 89
Joined: 3/4/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

depends.

I'm not sure what you mean by brief and I'm guessing you're not in a relationship with him but I'm going to guess you'll be doing a lot of cleaning, sucking dick, fucking, running chores and fucking some more.

Only he would know for sure though.

Hey I need one of those I'am a lousy housekeeper.


(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Live-in tips - 10/20/2011 6:56:55 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejessi

Hi,

I am new to Collarme. I have been involved in BDSM on and off for about 3 years now.

I am considering doing a live in for a brief amount of time with a Dom. I have never really done live ins before
so I am asking other Doms what I should expect.

Tips, and suggestions are all welcomed!

Sorry if that wasn't enough info, brief live in just means a short time. And I know him somewhat well, I did not meet him on here, i met him
offline.
I would suggest that you have an exit strategy in case it doesn't work.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to slavejessi)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Live-in tips - 10/20/2011 7:32:28 PM   
slavejessi


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/16/2006
From: Ohio
Status: offline 		I guess I don't have enough info, ya i'm not his girlfriend or anything just a bdsm relationship.
And yes I do have work but i don't really think it would interfere with this.
I have limits and he knows my limits , so I think that will be fine. I did talk to him before about this,
I should of mentioned it but i didn't, he is really honest and seems safe. I am just getting more
info about this on here too, and maybe think of things i didn't think of before.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Live-in tips - 10/20/2011 7:57:41 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		What do you want out of moving in? Do you want to be his girlfriend or more?

(in reply to slavejessi)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Live-in tips - 10/20/2011 7:58:48 PM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		1.) If you expect it to be all sex (or even just bdsm play) all the time, forget it. Anyone, even an addicted pervert that wants 24/7, will quickly find out that 24/7 is at most 20 hours or so of play a week, and 148 hours of vanilla life with a kinky voice in the back of your head saying "I am still dominating/being dominated even though nothing kinky is going on right now." That's at the best.

2) Living with someone, anyone is going to cause issues. I once lived with a room mate I literally saw twice a month - and we still had issues about scents and cleaning up our messes. As the submissive, expect to put up with a lot of silly little annoying things that are NOT sexy. For the sake of the kink, everything ends up being your fault, even when it is Master snoring way too loudly.


(in reply to slavejessi)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Live-in tips - 10/20/2011 8:13:49 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejessi

I guess I don't have enough info, ya i'm not his girlfriend or anything just a bdsm relationship.
And yes I do have work but i don't really think it would interfere with this.
I have limits and he knows my limits , so I think that will be fine. I did talk to him before about this,
I should of mentioned it but i didn't, he is really honest and seems safe. I am just getting more
info about this on here too, and maybe think of things i didn't think of before.


Why not go for a few extended weekends, and then maybe later think about this arrangement?
Living with people, even people you like and love dearly, is almost always difficult. (if you've ever had best friends as roommates, you'll understand this.)
Anyway, just take your time. There's no hurry.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to slavejessi)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Live-in tips - 10/20/2011 8:21:25 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		it seems to me like you don't much of anything at all about the living situation or the guy. You two have A LOT of talking to do. I would tread carefully.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Live-in tips - 10/20/2011 9:15:07 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejessi

I guess I don't have enough info, ya i'm not his girlfriend or anything just a bdsm relationship.
And yes I do have work but i don't really think it would interfere with this.
I have limits and he knows my limits , so I think that will be fine. I did talk to him before about this,
I should of mentioned it but i didn't, he is really honest and seems safe. I am just getting more
info about this on here too, and maybe think of things i didn't think of before.


go for it, if it doesnt work out, move out. Your a big girl ... go on and do big things!

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to slavejessi)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Live-in tips - 10/21/2011 12:02:49 AM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline 		 
Generally speaking...

* You WILL find there's shit you HATE doing, but are expected to do it... be mentally/emotionally prepared for this.

* You WILL fail from time to time... be mentally/emotionally prepared for this.

* You WILL question yourself and your decision... be mentally/emotionally prepared for this.

* You WILL experience what it's like to be with ONE, SPECIFIC person (which may turn out good or bad) -- things with another WILL be quite different... remember this.

* You WILL find (after the initial "thrill" has passed) that the typical, boring, "life" stuff will occupy FAR more time than the BDSM stuff... be mentally/emotionally prepared for this.





_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to slavejessi)
Profile   Post #: 18
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