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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 9:31:33 AM   
searching4mysir


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

But I thought there were more overweight people in general which would mean that naturally it would be difficult to find clothing for slim people.  



Except designers don't like to design for larger people. There is a huge, untapped market out there for fashionable, stylish clothing designed for larger bodies. There are a few designers that work exclusively for the plus sized market (igigi, torrid, and lane bryant for example with hipsandcurves and cacique for intimate apparel) but the vast majority don't design for plus, they just attempt to scale up (if they attempt at all) and that doesn't always work.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 9:37:37 AM   
kalikshama


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Status: offline 		TANYA GOLD is a size 16, just like the average British woman. Yet she found herself treated with horror and contempt when she dared to try to buy a designer dress...

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 9:44:52 AM   
kalikshama


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quote:

the vast majority don't design for plus, they just attempt to scale up (if they attempt at all) and that doesn't always work.


Yes, I often have to take in gaping arm holes on sleeveless shirts. Maybe arms on a US size 18 are supposed to be much flabbier.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 9:47:28 AM   
OICU8Master


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Status: offline 		You're right, twistedom, there ARE a higher percentage of overweight women into BDSM, but it is hard to carry on a genuine conversation about the subject because people immediately begin a personal assault on whomever dares to broach the subject.

I've noticed it often.  It's simply fact.  Go to events.  The vast majority of women there are overweight.  Go to munches, many more overweight women in that back room at the restaurant than you see out in the rest of the restaurant.  It's undeniable and even that people replying to you have noted that this was yet another fat chick thread only goes to show that so many others have made the same observation.  The why of it interests me.  Why are overweight women disproportionately drawn to the BDSM lifestyle?

It would be interesting to have a legitimate discussion.  Unfortunately, you're going to be attacked personally if you try to.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 9:53:09 AM   
myotherself


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From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I go to a lot of lifestyle events here in the UK, and one thing I've noticed is that although there are a lot of larger ladies there there are also a lot of overweight men too.

I don't think that bdsm draws a disproportionate number of overweight WOMEN, I think if the number is disproportionate (although I'm yet to be convinced of that), it has a similar proportion of overweight MEN.



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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 9:55:07 AM   
searching4mysir


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OICU8Master

Why are overweight women disproportionately drawn to the BDSM lifestyle?




I don't think it IS disproportionate when 66% of the population is either obese or morbidly obese (think about it, are you saying there are more than 7 in 10 women at the munches who are overweight?). If it is vastly disproportionate it could be because larger women are more hedonistic, giving in to many of their appetites, not just the sexual appetite.

Also, there are a lot of people who don't play publicly or seek to become a part of the "community" and thus don't even show up to munches. I've never been to a munch, and I'm sure there are others like me, both heavy and slim. If Master wanted to go, I would go with him, but I have no desire to go to one otherwise. I don't play publicly and I don't play casually so I would never show up at a play party, regardless of my weight.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 10:25:47 AM   
Iamsemisweet


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Status: offline 		Why? Why is it necessary to have a conversation about it? Why is it anybody's business but the overweight person's? If you don't want to date them, fine, but it's their body. There are several qualities in men that I think are deal breakers, but I don't feel the need to start a gripe thread. Why is this topic so much discussed?
H
quote:

ORIGINAL: OICU8Master

You're right, twistedom, there ARE a higher percentage of overweight women into BDSM, but it is hard to carry on a genuine conversation about the subject because people immediately begin a personal assault on whomever dares to broach the subject.

I've noticed it often.  It's simply fact.  Go to events.  The vast majority of women there are overweight.  Go to munches, many more overweight women in that back room at the restaurant than you see out in the rest of the restaurant.  It's undeniable and even that people replying to you have noted that this was yet another fat chick thread only goes to show that so many others have made the same observation.  The why of it interests me.  Why are overweight women disproportionately drawn to the BDSM lifestyle?

It would be interesting to have a legitimate discussion.  Unfortunately, you're going to be attacked personally if you try to.



_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 10:28:03 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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Status: offline 		Fat is the last bastion of acceptable prejudice. Society says that we have to accept people regardless of race, religion, age, and what have you, but we can still hate the FAT.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 10:28:55 AM   
kalikshama


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Status: offline 		I have a D friend who complained that his /s wasn't "taking care of herself." I asked if he led by example. Guess the answer.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 10:31:05 AM   
NocturnalStalker


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quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir


quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

But I thought there were more overweight people in general which would mean that naturally it would be difficult to find clothing for slim people.  



Except designers don't like to design for larger people. There is a huge, untapped market out there for fashionable, stylish clothing designed for larger bodies. There are a few designers that work exclusively for the plus sized market (igigi, torrid, and lane bryant for example with hipsandcurves and cacique for intimate apparel) but the vast majority don't design for plus, they just attempt to scale up (if they attempt at all) and that doesn't always work.


Hm... but I thought a successful business would cater to the majority - which in this case is supposedly the overweight people.  Hey, if there are more overweight people than slim people, shouldn't the term "overweight" be replaced with average or normal?  Strange how we still have an often seen negative label for something so very 'common.'



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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 10:35:27 AM   
kalikshama


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quote:

There are several qualities in men that I think are deal breakers, but I don't feel the need to start a gripe thread. Why is this topic so much discussed?


Right, in the year I've been on the forums, I've only noticed one or two women starting a thread complaining about married cheating guys, and judging from the mail I get, there's quite a high proportion of these, yet how often do you see "Are married cheating men drawn to this lifestyle?"

"Are men who view women as a fetish delivery system drawn to this lifestyle?"

"Are men who think they should have pussy served up on a platter drawn to this website?"

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 10:41:41 AM   
Arienos


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quote:

Fat is the last bastion of acceptable prejudice. Society says that we have to accept people regardless of race, religion, age, and what have you, but we can still hate the FAT.


I read your post often and most always agree ( at least in part) but this post is utter nonsense. Hate requires both mental and emotional energy, finding blubber bouncing around, restricting movement and unappealing has nothing at all to do with hate, hate requires thought and far to much energy to expend on blubber.

< Message edited by Arienos -- 10/25/2011 10:45:15 AM >

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 10:47:32 AM   
Iamsemisweet


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From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		True. And the only way to make it unacceptable is to call bullshit with the people who feel the need to bring it up
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Fat is the last bastion of acceptable prejudice. Society says that we have to accept people regardless of race, religion, age, and what have you, but we can still hate the FAT.


_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 10:56:44 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

True. And the only way to make it unacceptable is to call bullshit with the people who feel the need to bring it up
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Fat is the last bastion of acceptable prejudice. Society says that we have to accept people regardless of race, religion, age, and what have you, but we can still hate the FAT.




Exactly. And @Arienos, true hate might take mental energy, but what do you call threads like this? The prejudices that fat people run into at work, at their doctors' offices, at school, in the social milieu? Are those not descriptors of hate?

Those of you who object on aesthetic grounds---do you think that the malformed and disabled should be hidden from view as well? How about those who are merely plain, or do not match your standard of beauty? The old, what about them, and their wrinkles and spots?



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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 11:01:32 AM   
Hisprettybaby


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OICU8Master

You're right, twistedom, there ARE a higher percentage of overweight women into BDSM, but it is hard to carry on a genuine conversation about the subject because people immediately begin a personal assault on whomever dares to broach the subject.

I've noticed it often.  It's simply fact.  Go to events.  The vast majority of women there are overweight.  Go to munches, many more overweight women in that back room at the restaurant than you see out in the rest of the restaurant.  It's undeniable and even that people replying to you have noted that this was yet another fat chick thread only goes to show that so many others have made the same observation.  The why of it interests me.  Why are overweight women disproportionately drawn to the BDSM lifestyle?

It would be interesting to have a legitimate discussion.  Unfortunately, you're going to be attacked personally if you try to.


Possibly the reason OPs get attacked when they start so-called "fat chick threads" is because it's always about fat CHICKS. I know that's one thing that irks me about it, it's always zeroed in on the fat women specifically. What about all the fat DUDES out there in BDSM land?? No one ever seems to talk about them and I've noticed quite a hefty percentage of fat men out there, too, in real time BDSM events as well as online, on both sides of the kneel. So it could just as easily be asked "Are overweight men drawn to this lifestyle?" but no one ever asks that question or makes a big deal out of it. So one may ask, why don't I start a thread like that? Well, (1)I have no desire to start a riot and (2)I don't base my opinion of a person on his/her size so it really doesn't matter to me.

~Hisprettybaby~

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 11:03:22 AM   
Arienos


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quote:

Exactly. And ****Arienos, true hate might take mental energy, but what do you call threads like this? The prejudices that fat people run into at work, at their doctors' offices, at school, in the social milieu? Are those not descriptors of hate?

Those of you who object on aesthetic grounds---do you think that the malformed and disabled should be hidden from view as well? How about those who are merely plain, or do not match your standard of beauty? The old, what about them, and their wrinkles and spots?


Again, hate does not apply. Oh, I amy agree the social attitudes on the issues you raised are the products of the thinking of many if not most but attitude is not hate.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 11:04:04 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
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Status: offline 		What would you call it? Mild distaste? Bigotry is bigotry.

< Message edited by LadyHibiscus -- 10/25/2011 11:35:08 AM >

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 11:11:54 AM   
searching4mysir


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker


Hm... but I thought a successful business would cater to the majority - which in this case is supposedly the overweight people. 





Except there is a social bias against people who are overweight

quote:


Hey, if there are more overweight people than slim people, shouldn't the term "overweight" be replaced with average or normal?  Strange how we still have an often seen negative label for something so very 'common.'


Because overweight doesn't mean over the average. It refers to what is perceived to be a healthy weight. It is generally based upon the BMI (Body Mass Index) but even that scale is not really accurate because it doesn't take into consideration the muscle mass/bone mass/fluid/fat ratios. Very often, professional athletes have high BMI scores that push them into the overweight/obese/morbidly obese categories.

I may have extra fat on my body, and I'm pretty OK with that (I have good self-image days and bad self-image days) since I'm healthy, active, and my doctor isn't overly concerned as long as my test results come back good.

Master loves me as I am, and his only concern is that I am in good health. I know that other men may not find me attractive, and I'm OK with that. What I refuse to do is feel bad about myself as if I'm supposed to be a bad person or mentally ill because I carry extra weight on my body. And that is REALLY what this thread was about, if you want to be honest. While I found the OP ignorant and biased and offensive, I didn't really find him hateful. I only got involved in the thread when one poster became abusive.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 11:13:52 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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Status: offline 		exactly, Hisprettybaby -- women aren't the only ones getting bigger these days. Men have man-boobs, paunches, extra chins, and lovehandles, too, but somehow it's like they feel entitled to be fat, while still believing that women should, at all times, conform to the thin=beauty standard.
average and chubby men really have no business chastising similarly shaped/sized women, and yet for some reason, they are more than willing to do so. if you look through profiles, you will see plenty of fat men, too -- i wonder why they are "disproportionally attracted to the lifestyle?"

at the events i go to, a good portion of the men are bigger, and of the ones who aren't, man of them might have thin arms and legs, but they have substantial beer guts. why do they think this is acceptable?






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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 11:17:31 AM   
Arienos


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quote:

What would you call it? Mild distaste? Sorry, bigotry is bigotry.


Again, neither hate nor bigotry apply, blubber is blubber, mild distaste does not apply either. It simply is, one can accept it or chose not to have it in their lives, no further thought is necessary.

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