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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 4:24:52 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
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Status: offline 		Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle?
yes they are. they have low self esteem because of the pressure put on them by society so their demeanor is that of a submissive. They come to bdsm thinking they will find some kind of acceptance and they find misogynist men who because of their own insecurities get kicks from beating women. Neither the women or men involved in that scenario are really into bdsm, the women are sad and the men are pathetic and horrible.
There are some genuine bdsmers out there and they cover the whole range of sizes,shapes,ages,races etc etc but the way of the world is that anyone who takes their beliefs too far will be attacked and discredited by the majority who don't know what they are talking about.





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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 4:26:28 PM   
EmilyRocks


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Status: offline 		Yes, of course overweight women are drawn to this lifestyle. So are underweight women, height/weight proportional women, disabled women, healthy women, and at least one undead woman.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 4:30:19 PM   
hardcybermaster


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Status: offline 		not really adding to the discussion there are you emily
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmilyRocks

Yes, of course overweight women are drawn to this lifestyle. So are underweight women, height/weight proportional women, disabled women, healthy women, and at least one undead woman.



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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 4:31:39 PM   
Missokyst


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Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		This is an illogical and specious argument. It suggests there are no thin women who have misgogynistic men who beat them. Just take a look at COPS on any given week and that should show you you are incorrect.
Yes, there are overweight women into bdsm. Overweight men too. And thin, curvy, svelt, ect ect. And you will even find people into bdsm who are only in it to find a mate, those also come in all shapes and sizes.
But, there are just as many who enjoy what they do and are in it for the sensations it brings them.
...
some people just don't know what they are talking about.


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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 4:32:05 PM   
Buzzzz


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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 4:37:25 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		I was answering the question, and in my experience at muches and clubs and bizarres I have seen a disproportionate amount of overweight women(and men)
typical defensive arguement
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

This is an illogical and specious argument. It suggests there are no thin women who have misgogynistic men who beat them. Just take a look at COPS on any given week and that should show you you are incorrect.
Yes, there are overweight women into bdsm. Overweight men too. And thin, curvy, svelt, ect ect. And you will even find people into bdsm who are only in it to find a mate, those also come in all shapes and sizes.
But, there are just as many who enjoy what they do and are in it for the sensations it brings them.
...
some people just don't know what they are talking about.




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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 4:39:31 PM   
EmilyRocks


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quote:

not really adding to the discussion there are you emily
I disagree, I think my post contributed, and, unlike yours, mine was factual.

[Forgot a comma]


< Message edited by EmilyRocks -- 10/25/2011 4:40:17 PM >

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 4:40:49 PM   
LillyBoPeep


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisprettybaby

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
we would be a lot less huffy if the OP hadnt gone on to talk about how a fat gal couldnt get raped because she was undesirable...

This! ^^^^ BIG-TIME.



completely agreed. that was complete and utter ignorance about the motivations of rape on part of the OP.
easily the most asinine statement in the entire thread. =p


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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 4:42:48 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		no it wasn't, you just said every women is drawn to the lifestyle,the OP was about overweight women which is what I addressed
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmilyRocks

quote:

not really adding to the discussion there are you emily
I disagree, I think my post contributed, and, unlike yours, mine was factual.

[Forgot a comma]




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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 4:46:16 PM   
EmilyRocks


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Status: offline 		I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself on a public forum.

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< Message edited by EmilyRocks -- 10/25/2011 4:48:36 PM >

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 4:51:36 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		thanks but you will be a busy girl
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmilyRocks

I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself on a public forum.

[I like that, its going into my siggy]




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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 4:52:54 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
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From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster

Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle?
yes they are. they have low self esteem because of the pressure put on them by society so their demeanor is that of a submissive. They come to bdsm thinking they will find some kind of acceptance and they find misogynist men who because of their own insecurities get kicks from beating women.

So how does that explain the overweight DOMINANT women? They do't come into BDSM with a submissive mind-set. Or for that matter the switch women?


quote:

ORIGINAL: EmilyRocks
I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself on a public forum.

I love this!! ^^^^

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 4:57:23 PM   
NocturnalStalker


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Status: offline 		... Because an overweight woman has more difficulty finding a relationship period.  What the OP was eluding to was if it was possible that it was less about BDSM for them and more about finding someone to be with at the cost of them feigning interest in this 'lifestyle.'


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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 4:58:55 PM   
orchid77


Posts: 125
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Status: offline 		The fat word has become the last ism on the planet that everyone seems to have an opinion about. Everyone else is protected by laws, but overweight people are not. I am a BBW and I now have to ask my doctors if they have a "fat phobia?" Why because everyone has an opinion why my weight is so important. Overweight individuals are NOT clogging up the healthcare system. But if a overweight person goes to the doctor for CANCER the doctors will document that they are overweight and so when the claim form goes in for payment the insurance person goes click "OVErWEIGHT". Next time you would like to see who is using up the healthcare system go into the emergency room and check out who is there. Although some overweight individuals have hygiene issues THIS COMMENT is a HUGE GENERALIZATION. Why? Because anyone whether thin or large who doesn't wash will smell. This is a stereotype in which again the isms can form.

Weight is not just about FOOD. It is more about what is going on within. Society makes large people feel like SHIT no matter what. Therefore...people who feel like shit don't often feel motivated to do shit. That goes for small and large people.

I have been watching this thread...and really I get tired of this topic. Overweight men and women are not an ENIGMA to be figured out. They are human beings who like to enjoy things. So if one sees overweight women or men in the lifestyle it is because they probably ENJOY IT. Also it is probably the hope that someone can look beyond how they look and accept them. I for one feel I am fabulicious, but not everyone feels the same way.

And so it goes...

< Message edited by orchid77 -- 10/25/2011 5:06:31 PM >

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 5:02:15 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		try searching for genuine dom women, then search again for genuine sub women and you will find part of the answer
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisprettybaby


quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster

Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle?
yes they are. they have low self esteem because of the pressure put on them by society so their demeanor is that of a submissive. They come to bdsm thinking they will find some kind of acceptance and they find misogynist men who because of their own insecurities get kicks from beating women.

So how does that explain the overweight DOMINANT women? They do't come into BDSM with a submissive mind-set. Or for that matter the switch women?


quote:

ORIGINAL: EmilyRocks
I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself on a public forum.

I love this!! ^^^^



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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 5:05:05 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		OK, I'm fat, no two ways about it.  I'm not in this because I have low self esteem or can't find a man and need to be submissive just to get one.  Fact of the matter is, I could go out any night of the week and get laid.  Wouldn't mean a thing to me and I'm worth a whole lot more than a one night stand.  I've now found a man who takes me as I am, thinks I'm beautiful, loves that I have such a great sense of humor and can't keep his hands off me.  He makes me feel great and I am submissive to him alone. 

My being submissive has nothing to do with my weight, it has to do with my personality and it's simply who I am, as a person.  I love to do things for him that make his life easier, I love to look after him, cook, clean, laundry the whole nine yards.  Not because he was the "only one" who wanted me, but because he inspires me to be the best me I can be.  I want him to be proud of me at all times, and he is. 

'Nuff said.


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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 5:06:39 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		The law,healthcare,cancer and hygiene,brilliantly passive aggresive
quote:

ORIGINAL: orchid77

The fat word has become the last ism on the planet that everyone seems to have an opinion about. Everyone else is protected by laws, but overweight people are not. I am a BBW and I now have to ask my doctors if they have a "fat phobia?" Why because everyone has an opinion why my weight is so important. Overweight individuals is NOT clogging up the healthcare system. But if a overweight person goes to the doctor for CANCER the doctors will document that they are overweight and so when the claim form goes in for payment the insurance person goes "OVErWEIGHT". Next time you would like to see who is using up the healthcare system go into the emergency room and check out who is there. Although some overweight individuals have hygiene issues THIS COMMENT is a HUGE GENERALIZATION. Why? Because anyone whether thin or large who doesn't wash will smell. This is a stereotype in which again the isms can form.

Weight is not just about FOOD. It is more about what is going on within. Society makes large people feel like SHIT no matter what. Therefore...people who feel like shit don't often feel motivated to do shit. That goes for small and large people.

I have been watching this thread...and really I get tired of this topic. Overweight men and women are not an ENIGMA to be figured out. They are human beings who like to enjoy things. So if one sees overweight women or men in the lifestyle it is because they probably ENJOY IT. Also it is probably the hope that someone can look beyond how they look and accept them. I for one feel I am fabulicious, but not everyone feels the same way.

And so it goes...



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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 5:07:13 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
He was clumsy on the rape thing,.....he wasn't rabid, rude or evil.


I've got to say, I agree. I'm possibly better versed on what is and is not 'PC' on this subject than most. And I'm pretty damned articulate, though I say it myself. But not even I would start a thread on this question.

This thread has absolutely not been just about the OPs insensitivities, it's also been about the over-sensitivities surrounding the issue of being overweight. To take an example: it doesn't just involve the issue of purveyors of women's magazines that continually depict bony-thin models. It involves those women who *buy* those magazines and keep the parasites behind them in business.

Really, have you any idea how different it is in the man's world, that I inhabit? I'll be blunt: I have the figure I have a) mainly because I thought it'd be attractive to females and b) because I worked at it.

But there was never anything like the pressure on me to have my figure the way it is that women have to have the twig-figure. My body has never, ever, been assessed, judged, compared, and found lacking, in the same way as the average female's has. The difference is: I get my abs and I feel brilliant; I don't, I'm just ordinary. Men have 'utility bodies' - they're still, not even now, really made for much other than to keep their owners alive. They're still not either beautiful, nor ugly, they're just functional items. Men are lucky like that. We don't have to care. Consequently, we do the looking, and it still doesn't cross our minds, most of the time, that we may be the ones who are being looked at. And judged . . . .

Me, I have fun when I go to the gym. It takes no discipline and I think of it as a leisure activity. I think, "Whoa, my day off! I'll sit in a cafe with a newspaper for an hour, then to the gym for an hour, then to another cafe for an hour". That's a relaxing day for me. And afterwards, I'll feel great. The endorphins are buzzing around my body. I'll forget to eat, I feel that good. You women, though, it's like "Oh Christ, I must shift these pounds. Grit my teeth, feel pain, I hate it, but it must be done" . . . It's hideous. I'd never have picked up my exercise habit if I'd been made to feel that shitty to start with. Exercise has no weight, no demand and no discipline for me. I just like it. It makes me feel good. That's how easy it is, when no-one ever made you feel like crap in the first place for not doing it.

I do realise that being a feminist, these days, is un-hip. Every now and then an overly-made-up, frighteningly straight-looking woman will appear on these forums, wafting her perfume around and snorting in derision at feminism. Nonetheless, fat really is a feminist issue. The women's magazines are there to make you feel like shit as you read through them, which is why the adverts for plastic surgery are always at the back, ready to 'solve the problem' just as you've reached rock-bottom looking at the haughty skeletons depicted beforehand.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 5:08:16 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		That is great, really it is. But sadly you are in the minority
quote:

ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear

OK, I'm fat, no two ways about it.  I'm not in this because I have low self esteem or can't find a man and need to be submissive just to get one.  Fact of the matter is, I could go out any night of the week and get laid.  Wouldn't mean a thing to me and I'm worth a whole lot more than a one night stand.  I've now found a man who takes me as I am, thinks I'm beautiful, loves that I have such a great sense of humor and can't keep his hands off me.  He makes me feel great and I am submissive to him alone. 

My being submissive has nothing to do with my weight, it has to do with my personality and it's simply who I am, as a person.  I love to do things for him that make his life easier, I love to look after him, cook, clean, laundry the whole nine yards.  Not because he was the "only one" who wanted me, but because he inspires me to be the best me I can be.  I want him to be proud of me at all times, and he is. 

'Nuff said.




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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/25/2011 5:09:43 PM   
EmilyRocks


Posts: 357
Joined: 5/5/2011
Status: offline
quote:

What the OP was eluding to was if it was possible that it was less about BDSM for them and more about finding someone to be with at the cost of them feigning interest in this 'lifestyle.'
I know, but I disagree, which was the point of my post that HCM missed. I don't think they pretend to be into BDSM just to hook a man, I think they're just kinky fatties.

Getting whipped regularly is a little heavy a price to pay just to have somebody to snuggle, don't you think?

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