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Help! - 10/21/2011 3:08:09 PM

Rissykinz

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/30/2011
Status: offline

I'm not entirely sure how to ask this of someone so suddenly.
I will be homeless soon due to a very complicated situation, but for the sake of not having to explain it in a million different messages, here.
My mother recently got back together with her ex fiance/Master and he said he wouldn't move in with her unless her kids were gone, so she kicked me out first. She is going to be moving to Washington State soon with him and leaving me behind completely.
In order to not end up on the street I moved all the way to Maryland from North Carolina (my friend picked me up and drove me back) to stay with an old friend, he moved back in with his mother and the woman who owns the house we were staying in decided I had to leave as well.
I moved again (2 moves in less than two months) to Baltimore, MD to stay with another friend I had in the area, well he has a wife and child so he offered his old room at his elderly father's house. I can't seem to find a job in this area (mostly because I can't walk down the street without someone trying to pick me up or force me in their car or force drugs on me) anyway, my friend's father is tired of me being here (even though I've only been here since Monday (yes it hasn't even been a week) so I'm going to be kicked out.
I've had a few offers from Dom's but they just seem to stop talking to me altogether, so I guess they weren't serious about it.

I'm very scared, I have no resources at my disposal right now, no money, no car, no license and no one to lean on in this dark time.

If not a D/s relationship then at least someone willing to help out would be very appreciated...
I know that it is very bad to just enter a 24/7 D/s relationship with someone without ever meeting, but at this moment I just want a home..a bed and to be safe.
I know many of you could argue the point of a homeless shelter, but that would be just as unsafe as being on the streets, it's basically an organized meeting place for rape.

I'm crying out in a desperate plea for help.

Please do not spam this thread with anything mean..I don't particularly need insults right now..

Thank you for reading..

Post #: 1

RE: Help! - 10/21/2011 3:32:57 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

Hopefully, someone in your area will be able to lend a hand.

But, I'm also going to say two things: 1) choosing a D/s relationship to be able to get a home is unfair to everyone involved including you. 2) Most guys are going to run because having someone that wants to move in with you right away and you have to support them without really knowing who they are, is frightening/crazy/a scam.

Rather than a homeless shelter, how about a women's shelter?

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 10/21/2011 4:05:29 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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Post #: 2

RE: Help! - 10/21/2011 4:01:31 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I live in Bmore and I can tell you there are a TON of resources for indigent people and many for women. Using bdsm just to get off the streets is wrong is so many ways! I hope you at least are honest when people message you so they aren't duped into taking you in.

Here are some resources. Use them.

http://www.baltimoreoutreach.org/
http://dhr.maryland.gov/transit/pdf/homelist.pdf
http://www.womenshousing.org/

If you google you'll find tons more plus almost every single church here will help you in some way. You just have to swallow your pride and ask them for help. Being a little humble and using what's available to you will get you further than asking for help here.

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Post #: 3

RE: Help! - 10/21/2011 4:01:31 PM

HannahLynn

Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline

aunts, uncles, cousins.

(in reply to Rissykinz)

Post #: 4

RE: Help! - 10/21/2011 4:02:21 PM

SoulAlloy

Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline

I know in the UK there are quite a few charities and Housing Associations dedicated to finding homes for people in need, and setting up Jobseekers Allowance and Housing Benefit to pay for rent and bills. I used one myself when I was unemployed and my son was due to be born. After that I volunteered at the charity to help out until I landed my job.

If you have anything like that in your state that's the direction I'd suggest going in, or if there are any other distant family you can contact to get them to help you out.

And honestly I'd forget the D/s (or any) relationship until you're settled, unless of course you both experience those wonderful fireworks on meeting

< Message edited by SoulAlloy -- 10/21/2011 4:03:10 PM >

_____________________________

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Post #: 5

RE: Help! - 10/21/2011 4:08:55 PM

Endivius

Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline

Well, I'll let you camp out in the back yard, if your super amazing, I'll upgrade you to the wood shed. And who knows, five to ten years from now you could get a space in one of my closets. You gotta really commit though, no procrastinating!

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to SoulAlloy)

Post #: 6

RE: Help! - 10/21/2011 4:33:33 PM

TheFireWithinMe

Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
Status: offline

Rissy I just looked at your profile. I hope when someone contacts you you are honest about why you are currently looking for 24/7 live-in.

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(in reply to Rissykinz)

Post #: 7

RE: Help! - 10/21/2011 6:22:05 PM

Rissykinz

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/30/2011
Status: offline

I am honest about it, I explain the situation fully to everyone.
I don't need a lecture, and it would definitely not be a scam.
I would be getting a job if someone took me in, and I wouldn't want to start a relationship like D/s right away.
I'm not using sex or BDSM to get off the streets, that would make me a prostitute.
All I'm looking for right now is a little help.
But see I knew I shouldn't have even put up this thread because I would get a bunch of comments like that.

(in reply to TheFireWithinMe)

Post #: 8

RE: Help! - 10/21/2011 6:25:49 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I gave you a list of places that will help you and you can go into any church and they will help you as well. Help is available to you. Like I said, swallow your pride and stop being a hard-ass. If you don't take the advice then obviously you're not in that bad a situation. Good luck.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
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Post #: 9

RE: Help! - 10/21/2011 6:30:15 PM

TheFireWithinMe

Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
Status: offline

quote:

But see I knew I shouldn't have even put up this thread because I would get a bunch of comments like that.

Part of it may be that you put it in this forum. Posting this online is going to result in a certain amount of skepticism, posting in this forum given that you are an s-type is bound to result in more.

Nonetheless you DID get some good advice, I hope you take it.

_____________________________

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. ~Author Unknown

(in reply to Rissykinz)

Post #: 10

RE: Help! - 10/21/2011 6:58:17 PM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

You got some good advice already about other resources, but I think people may have left something out:

Do some soul-searching. You've been thrown out of one home already and after less than a week you are being asked to leave again.
Is there something in your attitude/behavior that could be part of the problem here? If the friend's father is so eager to get rid of you after less than a week (knowing if you leave you are homeless), why is he so eager to get rid of you? Are you a drain on his finances? Are you leaving a mess behind? Do you refuse to help out around the house? Do you hog the phone/tv/stereo? What is your part in all of this?

I'm not trying to be mean, but you are the common denominator in this, and you can use the experience for personal growth if you are willing to accept part of the responsibility for it and are willing to do something to change it.

(in reply to TheFireWithinMe)

Post #: 11

RE: Help! (soon to be homeless in Baltimore) - 10/21/2011 6:59:16 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Best wishes to you.

(in reply to Rissykinz)

Post #: 12

RE: Help! (soon to be homeless in Baltimore) - 10/21/2011 7:18:39 PM

MistressLilliana

Posts: 84
Joined: 1/7/2011
Status: offline

I'm not saying all homeless shelters are great but I was homeless years back and had no choice but to stay at one. Look around and find some in the area. You might be surprised at the resources they have and some might not be as bad as you think. It's scary, I know but you have got to do what you need to survive and literally staying on the street isn't fun (I slept in front of a bank in Philadelphia for a night, ick) . I'd also suggest talking to other homeless people like in food drives and such, you'd be surprised. When I was homeless the only people who did help were other homeless people because they know what help is out there. Churches are a great place to go and talk to as well, they'll usually try and help and most of them run the food pantries. There are also all women shelters that take people in even if they aren't battered or anything and just need a place. I know we have one up here in NH. Whatever you do, don't give up hope because it will get better.

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(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 13

RE: Help! (soon to be homeless in Baltimore) - 10/21/2011 7:27:24 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I moved again (2 moves in less than two months) to Baltimore, MD to stay with another friend I had in the area, well he has a wife and child so he offered his old room at his elderly father's house. I can't seem to find a job in this area (mostly because I can't walk down the street without someone trying to pick me up or force me in their car or force drugs on me) anyway, my friend's father is tired of me being here (even though I've only been here since Monday (yes it hasn't even been a week) so I'm going to be kicked out.

This is the part of your post that I find something odd about. I've lived in some pretty tough places, but never one where people are grabbing chicks and trying to force them into cars on a regular basis... add trying to force drugs on them... and then trying to pick you up.

Could it be you are afraid of these things happening, because I am having a hard time believing this is such a problem. Did someone try to force you into a car? Could you be having some delusions?

I don't mean to be offensive... I really don't, but that is a stretch and hard to picture.

Shelters are not always dangerous. I know, I directed one. We had one incidence of thief and I took care of that real quick.

I do understand how a series of things can happen and you can be running from this place to that to survive... but unless you want to continue that pattern, get to a shelter and let the people there help you network. That is your best chance. Anyone that takes you in, as a stranger, offering a possible relationship with you coming from a situation like this, wouldn't be someone I would think trustworthy. Someone helping you might be a bit reckless... but offering you a relationship and bdsm... you best fucking run.

I am sorry, if your mother did that. Some mothers shouldn't be mothers... but honestly, your best bet is a shelter.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 14

RE: Help! - 10/21/2011 7:49:39 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rissykinz

I would be getting a job if someone took me in, and I wouldn't want to start a relationship like D/s right away.
I'm not using sex or BDSM to get off the streets, that would make me a prostitute.

You've contradicted yourself. You said:

quote:

If not a D/s relationship then at least someone willing to help out would be very appreciated...
I know that it is very bad to just enter a 24/7 D/s relationship with someone without ever meeting, but at this moment I just want a home..a bed and to be safe.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Rissykinz)

Post #: 15

RE: Help! (soon to be homeless in Baltimore) - 10/21/2011 8:01:46 PM

RaspberryLemon

Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline

Step 1.) Find a big cardboard box.
Step 2.) Write on the front of it: "FREE TO GOOD HOME"
Step 3.) Get in the box and wait!
Someone'll pick you up, guaranteed. ;)

But in all seriousness, you've been given some pretty good suggestions and advice already. You should look into it, just see what's available. I wish you the best.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 16

RE: Help! - 10/21/2011 8:13:15 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

You need to go to the nearest welfare office and find out what resources are available to you so you can get on your feet.

They deal with this type of shit every day and have lists of places you can go to for food/shelter.
They will hook you up with food stamps.
And maybe even bus tokens so you can get around.

Some places will provide clothing vouchers so you can get clothing for job interviews.
Also they will point you in the right direction for job banks so you can start to look and apply for employment.

I would really start looking to do things for yourself instead of thinking some DOM is going to pick you up off the street to give you a warm place to live and a bed to sleep in. - and for you to think that there will be no strings attached to that ..not likely. But hey, maybe not ..every dog has its day.

I do wish you luck and hope you get your shit together.

_____________________________

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The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to Rissykinz)

Post #: 17

RE: Help! (soon to be homeless in Baltimore) - 10/21/2011 8:17:08 PM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

Making yourself dependant on anyone financially, to live, is asking for an opportunist to come along and take advantage. Get yourself into a shelter of your choice, where they can help you get on your feet. Learn to be independant and strong, before you volunteer to be dependant and submit. Then the submission becomes your choice.. not your only means of survival.

How do you think a Dom would feel knowing the only reason you suck his cock and clean his house is because you need a place to live? Think that makes him feel loved/worshipped/held in high esteem? No it would probably make the Dom feel used. Not very flattering. It's kind of a shit thing to do.

(in reply to RaspberryLemon)

Post #: 18

RE: Help! - 10/21/2011 8:19:27 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

This is the part of your post that I find something odd about. I've lived in some pretty tough places, but never one where people are grabbing chicks and trying to force them into cars on a regular basis... add trying to force drugs on them... and then trying to pick you up.

Actually on this part about Baltimore, she's right depending on what neighborhood you're in. There are areas of Bmore that even the police refuse to go. If I'm in a bad area of the city and I have to wait for a bus, I've been hit up for drugs, asking if I wanted to buy drugs, men thinking that because I'm a woman waiting for a bus I must be a prostitute, etc....I'm guessing she's hanging out or living in the bad areas which makes me think that her problems of jumping from one home to another is due to drugs.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Post #: 19

RE: Help! - 10/21/2011 8:29:28 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

This is the part of your post that I find something odd about. I've lived in some pretty tough places, but never one where people are grabbing chicks and trying to force them into cars on a regular basis... add trying to force drugs on them... and then trying to pick you up.

Actually on this part about Baltimore, she's right depending on what neighborhood you're in. There are areas of Bmore that even the police refuse to go. If I'm in a bad area of the city and I have to wait for a bus, I've been hit up for drugs, asking if I wanted to buy drugs, men thinking that because I'm a woman waiting for a bus I must be a prostitute, etc....I'm guessing she's hanging out or living in the bad areas which makes me think that her problems of jumping from one home to another is due to drugs.

I have lived in areas like that as well... but you walk aggressively without fear and just do what the situation calls for. Or... get out, get to a shelter or social services one time and ask for bus passes and directions to a shelter, even if it is in another city. If people are dragging women into cars... I would be hitting the shelter up real quick, then moving to another shelter in another city as soon as I could afford to get there. She needs to connect with someone that will help her network. She doesn't have to stay in that city and there may even be some help in getting her to an area that she knows... like back home and a shelter there.

If nothing else, get on the phone. Shelters in the area will know the area and could even send someone or a cab for her. That isn't unheard of. The thing is... there is no easy answer and this must be faced and trying to take an easy road out... some guy or person saving her... is going to typically be the longer and harder way.

Hell... call her married friend, the son of the father and ask him to take her out of there to another city and a shelter there.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 20

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