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Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed and ... - 10/22/2011 12:26:21 PM

Sherrr

Posts: 61
Joined: 7/25/2011
Status: offline

Am I the only one who finds it irritating, presumptive, and sort of offensive to be addressed as "Mistress," "Goddess," or a similar name right off the bat?

Post #: 1

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 12:49:37 PM

MissToYouRedux

Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline

Eh, it doesn't really bother me. I think the guys (poor things, as my grandmother used to say) are doing the best they can. But the smart ones pick up that my nic has an embedded IQ test. ;)

**Edited to add that I take very little online personally, good or bad.

< Message edited by MissToYouRedux -- 10/22/2011 12:50:32 PM >

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RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 12:57:14 PM

Sherrr

Posts: 61
Joined: 7/25/2011
Status: offline

Nice! Sometimes I wish I wasn't so liberal feminist. "Miss" automatically implies patriarchy to me, but you seem to have it more figured out than I do. You've given me something to think about, so thanks.

(in reply to MissToYouRedux)

Post #: 3

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 1:04:40 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Mistress Janice agrees - http://www.xtranormal.com/profile/5297466/ - click on "The Meeting"

(in reply to Sherrr)

Post #: 4

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 1:08:43 PM

Sherrr

Posts: 61
Joined: 7/25/2011
Status: offline

Two minutes and forty three seconds of genius!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm adding that link to my profile, if that's ok.

< Message edited by Sherrr -- 10/22/2011 1:09:21 PM >

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 5

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 1:22:30 PM

RoughChances

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/20/2011
Status: offline

Yup bothers me..until your in my service your an equal and using my name is not a sin

(in reply to Sherrr)

Post #: 6

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 1:26:33 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Of course!

Enjoy, and welcome.

(in reply to Sherrr)

Post #: 7

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 1:30:16 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

I don't like being addressed as a title that our relationship does not demonstrate. However, in initial conversations I will let that slide. I understand the sub in question is trying to do the right thing, and does not want to offend by being too low protocol right off the bat.

I love it when they ask me how I should be addressed, this tells me they have their head at least partially out of the porn and view me as a person, instead of fetish delivery device.

When in a relationship, I still prefer my first name used, it gives all the more weight to those times when I "force" the sub to use titles or protocol.

I can't imagine being in a relationship where someone always addressed me as a title, that starts being a bit too much like objectifying ME, which since I have a strong preference for male subs, just does not work, in my opinion.

YMMV and all that crap.

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Post #: 8

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 1:35:59 PM

Sherrr

Posts: 61
Joined: 7/25/2011
Status: offline

Very well said.

I agree about letting it slide in initial conversations, though the irritation factor goes up exponentially with every "please let me serve you," etc. that gets added on.

I so agree as well about being seen as a fetish delivery device. Also agree about forcing the use of titles at certain times. I guess there's nothing you said that I don't agree with :)

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 9

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 1:44:52 PM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sherrr

Am I the only one who finds it irritating, presumptive, and sort of offensive to be addressed as "Mistress," "Goddess," or a similar name right off the bat?

I really would rather someone use my username instead of Mistress or Goddess. Then, when he knows my real name, use that until there is some agreed-upon dynamic in place. But I realize everyone on here is only trying to do the best they can....or I hope so anyway.

Oh, yeah! I also love The Meeting. I think it's totally funny!!

(in reply to Sherrr)

Post #: 10

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 1:52:51 PM

hausboy

Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline

From the other side of the kneel....it's a litmus test for me as well if the person I contact insists on being called something formally right away. I use screen names now always, and if they prefer something else (formal or first name), I'll let them cue me in on it. I don't have any objection if someone CM's me and calls me "haus", but if they start calling me "boy" from the start, before they get to know me as a person, it has the same reaction for me that being called "Mistress" has for many of the previous posters. Just too soon.

(and not only do I love that video....it cracks me up that some idiot then went and openly trolled for women in the comments section. talk about clueless!)

(in reply to Hisprettybaby)

Post #: 11

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 1:55:10 PM

Delilya

Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline

"The Meeting" is epic.

I nicely ask that they use my name until such a time as service has been agreed on. Even then I prefer m'lady to other titles.

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(in reply to Hisprettybaby)

Post #: 12

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 2:20:28 PM

MissBenson

Posts: 22
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

Oh miz chatte ..."fetish delivery device " ? LOVE it ! Haw. I'm definitely going to use it , and I'll give credit where credit is due , no fear . [ So now we know you are funny and smart as well as , in that teeny photo of yours , gorgeous . ] I too find the whole catapulting into the use of a title that implies a relationship that does not ( yet ? ) exist just.....incredibly annoying and clueless . Wether in person or online . OK ,they may be doing their best but if this IS their best it is NOT good enough . It's fucking rude ! It's...it's PUSHY .
I realize that the online world has exploded this whole insta-relationship tendency , just add water and stir ( blech ) but that doesn't make it right .

(in reply to Delilya)

Post #: 13

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 2:33:29 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Thank you, MissBenson, but I did not coin "festish delivery device" I picked it up here on the CM forums. And use it to good advantage, I would say.

But please do not credit me. I regret to say I do not know who to credit. Still, it is a lovely phrase and one many people notice.

Best,
Chatte

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Post #: 14

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 3:08:47 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

FR

I find that a neutral, but polite, form of salutation works best in those introductory cmails. I always start with 'Dear Bignose'.

(Seriously, I did actually use that once - and it worked!)

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(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 15

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 3:18:13 PM

BBBTBW

Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline

The Meeting...AMAZING. I love it

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"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

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Post #: 16

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 3:25:08 PM

HannahLynn

Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline

my name is hannah. my girls calls me that or "hanners", or "hun", or "lover", or "eddie", or "boss-lady", or "bannaners" or all sorts of other shit, fuck sometimes they even call me "the old whore". if one of them called me mistress or goddess i'd just fucking piss myself laughing.

(in reply to Sherrr)

Post #: 17

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 3:25:36 PM

BBBTBW

Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline

The Meeting...AMAZING. I love it

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"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 18

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 6:50:00 PM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

I prefer to be addressed with the same respect I give. No more no less
I have one pet, only he calls me Mistress.I dont need anything more.Ihave friends in offline who call me Ma'am, and milady, but that is their choice, their prerogative. I know when they call me ma'am they are doing so because they respect me for who I am to them, and not because they feel obligated.
I dont need platitudes or verbal ass kissing

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(in reply to BBBTBW)

Post #: 19

RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed ... - 10/22/2011 7:37:04 PM

MistressLilliana

Posts: 84
Joined: 1/7/2011
Status: offline

Since my user name is Mistresslilliana I can't say anything about anyone calling me Mistress however, I pay more attention to those who write to me and ask if its alright if they do call me Mistress. Otherwise, I make it clear from the beginning that even should they call me Mistress, I'm not theirs until I own them.

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Post #: 20

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