RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (Full Version)

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GreedyTop -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 1:37:55 PM)

fuck.

I like the mods, and am proud of myself for self editing.

NS..

look up the word tact. learn and love it (or at least USE tact, regardless of how you feel about it).
Look up the term 'Narcissus', then look in the mirror. learn it.. recognize it.. fix it.
sadly, I cant find a term or phrase for "PULL YER HEAD OUTTA YER SELF ABSORBED ASSHOLE".. but I am sure there is SOME kind of DSM-IV diagnosis in there..



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 1:42:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I am sure there is SOME kind of DSM-IV diagnosis in there..


You might be looking for this one.



Focus50 -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 1:47:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

With all the fat threads we see around here, I hate to add one more to the onslaught, but I have noticed something about those that post or that I have known throughout life that dislike over weight people. Personally, I believe that people that make a big fuss about a persons weight seem to be less tolerant about many things in life and with people. From what I have seen, they tend to be real emotional OCD types, harsh, less compassionate than others, opinionated to the point of unmovable, regimented, superficial and sometimes insecure. I tend to just classify them as anal and whether I was skinny or not, I didn't want much to do with them.

Do you think my take on this has any merit from your own experiences?


I don't get hung up on a few kilos but I've never been attracted to overweight women in general. I prefer a more traditional shape to the female form - with only the curves nature intended....

Your "take" is a nonsense if you think I therefore malign and ridicule the fatties just because. Of all the creatures ever to roam the planet, only humans seem to come in such a diversity of size and shape. Which makes for choice - there is someone pretty much for anyone's taste.

So yeah, I tend to stick with what *I* like. I'm also not attracted to super-model skinny (if ever the word "super" could be more bastardised...), or blacks, either....

And so what - I'm the bad guy for having personal preferences???? Others don't? I should embrace sanitised nonsense like "bbw" and not see that which is patently obvious? Slim people can have good hearts and nice personalities, too.

Why tha hell is it so important that bbw should be attractive to everyone? Yep, I'm opinionated (but not unmovable on all things); yep, harsh rather than nauseatingly diplomatic; less compassionate than others (a dom trait?) - and maybe all the rest 'cause I'm not into fat women....

Focus.



PeonForHer -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 1:55:36 PM)

She said 'make a big fuss' about disliking overweight people, rather than not finding overweight people physically attractive, Focus. It's not the same thing. Stand easy!



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 2:11:58 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

She said 'make a big fuss' about disliking overweight people, rather than not finding overweight people physically attractive, Focus. It's not the same thing. Stand easy!



Thank you for understanding that, Darling! No one cares who or what others find attractive. Perhaps they like sheep, or people that look like sheep. Perhaps they like Katy Perry. It's all one to us.



kiwisub12 -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 2:24:44 PM)

Perhaps those that like to bash people on the internet are just nasty people - those that never learned to censure themselves. Most of us learnt as kids that hurting others is a bad thing - and there are people who haven't learnt it yet. Lack of empathy is a good term for this problem.
Of course, these people don't just restrict themselves to fat people. They may just go after skinny people or bad spellers or smokers. They never learnt the lesson "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 2:25:48 PM)

SMOKERS! ewwwww! [:D]



Lockit -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 2:30:37 PM)

Focus, Peon said it perfectly. It is the fuss making, the attacking, the pointing it out... that someone doesn't like over weight women and comes to ask or say stupid things about it.

I was a skinny chick... so skinny some men wouldn't date me because they were afraid of my bones. That was okay, I laughed then too, but a lot of men liked my body. When I first gained weight, I was a bit insecure because it happened over night and when I was very ill. My boyfriend at the time wasn't having sex with me and didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to push me because I was ill and I took it as being the weight gain. I lost the weight when my thyroid leveled, but it went off again. I don't care for it, but I am not insecure about it!! I have found no difference in the amount of men or quality of men that have been interested in me... until it gets to that part of... well... I could die on you after you fall in love with me. lol Can't blame them there!

I don't care about choices... who likes what or doesn't like what... just don't come spreading your issues and blaming them on people you don't have any interest in.



NocturnalStalker -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 2:52:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

fuck.

I like the mods, and am proud of myself for self editing.

NS..

look up the word tact. learn and love it (or at least USE tact, regardless of how you feel about it).
Look up the term 'Narcissus', then look in the mirror. learn it.. recognize it.. fix it.
sadly, I cant find a term or phrase for "PULL YER HEAD OUTTA YER SELF ABSORBED ASSHOLE".. but I am sure there is SOME kind of DSM-IV diagnosis in there..


Here's the thing:  I don't mind overweight people.  They're nice people.  On that same note, they also make a lot of excuses from what I have seen.  Some blatantly lie to validate their current condition and luckily I don't play a bigger influence in their life or I'd not stand for that behaviour. 

Many large people think that by "losing weight" you need to become some skeletal husk.  You don't.  Somebody loves you the same?  That's awesome, I'm happy for you.  They'll love you the same if you actually drop the pounds then.



JstAnotherSub -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 3:10:02 PM)

Ima fat chick.  It is what it is.  I could do more to lose weight, but I haven't found the necessary discipline within me yet to do that.  I may or may not find it in the future, who knows.

I hate to agree with NS, but, I also find that many fat folks have bad attitudes towards others.  It is like, you can't hate me because I am fat, but I can call you a skinny bitch and make fun of you and your gorgeous friends.  Horseshit.  It can't be both ways.

I know some folks can not lose weight for various reasons.  Genetics, disease, lack of knowledge, mental illness, and the list goes on and on and on.

My main problem is the way that everyone goes on and on about how lazy and undisciplined we fat folks are.  I wish that bad eating habits and lack of exercise showed up with a wart on the nose or something, because I know just as many thin folks who have horrid habits, just like me, but they are not fat, simply because their genetics are different.

So, don't dig fat chicks.  I couldn't care less.  I have my own preferences about what I find attractive. 

But, gimme a break if you think that only fat folks have bad eating habits and don't exercise enough.  There are just as many thinner folks dropping dead from clogged arteries as their are fat folks.

Life is what it is.  Just live it.





PeonForHer -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 3:33:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
I was a skinny chick... so skinny some men wouldn't date me because they were afraid of my bones.


What did you do with your bones, pull them out and whack blokes over the head with them? The mind boggles!



myrgth -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 3:37:27 PM)

In my experience, what I come across is:

1.  Those that absolutely loath and detest fat people and are seemingly obsessed with it.  Everything that is wrong in their life they can find fault in the obesity all around them.  They can't find a partner - it's because there is nothing but fat girls/guys.  They can't find a job - it's because fat people are making insurance premiums rise and thus decreasing the job market.  These are the people that see a fat person and immediately think that they are slovenly, over eat, unhealthy, insecure, have mental issues, etc.  They make a value judgment on a person and determine their worth based solely on size.  It's not a passive stance, it's very active and vocal.  These are the people that will hire a thin person who is less qualified, who will ignore health issues unrelated to fat and spend an hour telling a patient that losing weight is the only way to resolve the health issue (things like strep throat, true story), who will go out of their way in any given situation to point out how fat a person is and relate it to being disgusting.  They often disguise their disdain under the veil of 'preference' and are angry that so many don't fall into their aesthetic desire and have zero interest in being around or associated with a fat person.

2.  Those that feel exactly the same way as above but are passive about it, keeping their thoughts and reactions to themselves unless surrounded by those that are like minded.  These people won't go out of their way to degrade a fat person, like pulling up beside a fat person won't have them rolling down their window just so they can yell at them and tell them how fat they are, but they are thinking it.  Like the above, these people will be offended and appalled if approached by a fat person.  Often I've thought that these people need the external validation of being seen with only those they deem attractive and make it a point to make it known that they only hang around and/or date 'hot' folks.

3.  Those that see and can relate to many of the negative stereotypes that exist but don't take it personally.  They have no personal emotional response to a fat person.  They may be disgusted if they see a fat person at a buffet chowing down on enough food to feed a third world country as well as have compassion if they see someone who is positively struggling with their weight.  These are people who have fat family members, fat friends, and aren't threatened by obesity like it is contagious.  These are people who truly do have an aesthetic preference that doesn't include fat folks and they have no need to shout it to the world - they simply date those they are attracted to without belittling those they aren't.

4.  Those that simply love a person regardless of aesthetic. They relate fat as another physical trait, like brown eyes or short/tall. 

5.  Those that have an aesthetic preference for fat.

6.. Those that have a fat fetish.

As to the OP - the people that fit into the first 2, again in my experience, are often intolerant of many things.  Fat might be what is acceptable to show the world but when you delve deeper you find that they also hate... oh... various ethnic groups, various religious groups, various political groups, etc.   Fat is where they can acceptably show their anger and distaste but it often crosses into many territories that are less acceptable to publicly vilify.



RexDarcy -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 3:45:07 PM)

People who press the "fat people suck" statements are no better than people that disrespect people of a certain color or religion. People are people no matter what they look like.

NocturnalStalker, I have noticed issus with self esteem in thinner people as well, so it isn't just an overweight person thing. I do agree with the excuses part, however. I am a big dude that made excuses for years about Me being overweight, but I got sick of making excuses and being fat so I started losing wweight.

People can be harsh for reasons that are pathetkc, like towards people that are overweight, but no matter what your opinion of those people are, they are people too.



CalifChick -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 3:47:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetCheri]
In my experience, almost everybody finds overweight people at least a little unattractive. I do, and I am not overly judgmental or intolerant, nor am I any of the things you mentioned (or at least I hope I'm not).



Well thank goodness I don't hang with your crowd. It is NOT my experience that "almost everybody" finds overweight people at least a little unattractive.

Because my primary partner is quite a distance from me, I put an ad up for a FWB. Seventy men responded within a couple of hours, and ALL of those 70 wanted a fat chick. Would a skinny chick have gotten more responses? Probably, but I don't care. I whittled those 70 down to 6 guys that met my requirements.

My dance card is full.

Cali




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 3:58:41 PM)

{deeply snarky commentary redacted}



PeonForHer -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 4:19:41 PM)

Well done on that typology, mrgth. It seems as though a lot of thought has gone into it. Did you come up with it yourself - or did you find it somewhere on the net? Whatever, it's damned good. I do hope it informs debates, anyway, on this subject. All too often debates on these forums degenerate into black versus white, 'You're in my gang, or you're in the other gang'. It's really bloody tiresome.

I think I'm a type 3, for what it's worth. Though, 'disgust' is too strong a word. I only feel such disgust on a mass-scale - that is, I'm disgusted that one part of the world has a major problem with obesity, while another part has a major problem with starvation. (And, thinking about it, I'd be disgusted with anyone who isn't disgusted with that.) There's individual and personal disgust, and social and political disgust. They're quite different things and are felt, and acted upon, in quite different ways.




kalikshama -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 5:17:42 PM)

quote:

1.  Those that absolutely loath and detest fat people and are seemingly obsessed with it.  Everything that is wrong in their life they can find fault in the obesity all around them.  They can't find a partner - it's because there is nothing but fat girls/guys.  They can't find a job - it's because fat people are making insurance premiums rise and thus decreasing the job market.  These are the people that see a fat person and immediately think that they are slovenly, over eat, unhealthy, insecure, have mental issues, etc.  They make a value judgment on a person and determine their worth based solely on size.  It's not a passive stance, it's very active and vocal. 


I know people for whom I could substitute [minority 1] or [minority 2] for fat.

I think this same sense of entitlement or persecution is what leads people to start these fat or fake threads.



NuevaVida -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 6:15:54 PM)

~ Fast Reply ~

I don't care whether or not people find fat people attractive or unattractive.  What fascinates me are those who are offended by fat people - those are the folks who tend to make a fuss about them. What it tells me, rightly or wrongly so, is that someone else's weight is touching a nerve within the offended person.  And I wonder what exactly nerve is being touched so strongly?

So it says more about a weakness or insecurity in the observer, than anything.

For what it's worth, I was fat.  I just weighed in today at a nearly 90 pound weight loss.  I was one of those who, like NS said, made all sorts of excuses and had self image issues.  However, the misconception is that it's about being lazy, blah blah blah.  In my case, it was depression, which was added to by my self image issues, which - due to my oh so wonderful eating disorder - resulted in me eating more, which added to my self image issues, which added to the depression, and so on.  It was a spiral downward, and I really just didn't care about myself anymore.

I am NOT saying this is the case for others who are overweight.  I'm saying it was the case for me, and is the case for several women in my Weight Watchers group.  Then of course, all the snide "fat comments" added to it, basically telling me I was a worthless piece of shit, and that added to the image issues, etc. 

I'm treated much differently now that I'm in shape, but I realize that may also have a lot to do with how I carry myself now, and with my attitude and outlook now.

Those that make a fuss over someone else's physical attributes I just chalk up to having issues of their own, and move on.  I judge people more on the way they treat others than on what they look like.



soul2share -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 6:27:04 PM)

Bigotry is bigotry, no matter what form it takes.  Dissing someone's physical looks, race, sexual preference.....it's all a form of bigotry, in my opinion.  It's just that picking on "fat folk" is still an accepted action...not protected by some law somplace, nor is it truly considered discrimination.  And yes, if they are the type to make the sweeping statements about overweight people, they are just as quick to judge others negatively.  I just choose not to let them bother me.  I've gone so far as to tell people to just shut the fuck up, I don't want to hear it.  The looks I get when I do that are priceless...these people don't even relize they are doing it half the time...it's simply an automatic thing for them!

Me, yeah, I'm heavier than I should be, but, with a special nod to NS, ya asshat, mine is thyroid related.  I don't eat tons of food, I could do with a little less junk food, but I've done the workout til you drop thing, this diet, that diet, all the crap, and I'm still at the same weight I've been for the last 20 years.  Other than the thyroid and diabetes, I'm fine.  My doc thinks that if we could get the thyroid under control, the diabetes would go away.  I have a little bit of a belly, and carry the weight in my ass and hips.  Since the pics I have sent out are usually head shots, it's hard to actually see my body shape.  I've had partners who were hard bodies, and I've had partners who are just average, or a little chubby, like me. 

People have their preferences, I get that...it's the assholes that have to be vocal about it.  There are ways to set limits on the weight in the searches here, so those narrow minded idiots don't have to be offended or tortured by us "overweight" humans.  I have noticed that for every BBW out there, there are 2 people that feel they have the right to condemn them without even knowing the person.  No one points out the 300 lb men here that all want some "hot little skinny thing", but let a woman admit she's 200 pounds, and they seem to think she's fair game.

For the record, I'm 5'4 and about 180.......and losing weight as we speak...if it weren't for that slight belly I have, my pants would be falling off me around my ankles!  Don't know why I'm losing weight, probably all the stress I have, but hey, it's worked better than any diet or exercise program ever did!  [:D]  My worth has nothing to do with the size of my body, but rather the size of my heart.   I am happy in my skin, every inch and pound of it, and if it bothers anyone else, well, hell, then, leave!  Cuz I'm not going anywhere!



slaveluci -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/25/2011 7:53:23 PM)

JstAnotherSub,
[sm=yourock.gif]

As do Cali and Nueva....Just ditto to what all you lovely ladies said........luci



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