quote:

ORIGINAL: DavidS8ist

TrueSub sigs her post:"Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it. "

And I add, "...And Luck is getting away with it!"

;)
D.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cynthiamarie

Ah, your question voiced what I have been concerned about, and what I've been dealing with.  So many approach me and I find that our needs often clash.  Mine are mild, since I'm new and will not dabble in things I'm not comfortable with.  I'm a Domme with many hard limits, lol.
 
I also have a teenager, and once I've warned someone of my hard limits and why (no, they can't wear sissy maid outfits up to their ass in front of my son, nor prance around the house naked, etc.) and they can't respect them and try to negotiate on this, I've had to send them on their way.  Same thing goes for rope bondage and leaving marks...I'm taking things one step at a time while I study until I'm satisfied, and then taking things very slowly. 
 
I've even made my own vinyl cuffs with industrial strength velcro because I've wanted quick release, without wasting time to undo buckles, or untie ropes. 
Later on things may be different...the look and smell of leather is...mmm.
 
I've had to turn people away who wanted suspension, or to be hogtied while I left them to go shopping.  One of my hard limits is leaving a sub alone while they're tied up...I don't see that ever changing.  Aside from all the average concerns, I was on the top floor of a burning building once, and had to get my toddler and three cats (stuffed them into pillow cases) out through 4 flights of black smoke in the early a.m. hours.  There is no way on earth I'd leave someone helpless and not under my watchful eyes. 
 
Other hard limits I have...I don't share.  Hundreds have approached me in this past year wanting to be kept in permanent chastity and/or "forced" to be cuckold, fluff girl, and cleanup crew of assorted genital parts.  I am not into having someone of mine service another male, and I wouldn't be thrilled at the idea of sharing my property with another female...unless it was strictly non-sexual service oriented...like having him do yardwork or help with a party.  I'm not poly, can you tell? *smiles*  I expect a one on one, with no chastity unless I'm merely using it to torment him *wide evil grin* or as a tool to get an attitude adjustment.   If a sub wants an orgasmless life, then we would be a mismatch.
 
Some are obsessed (did I shout that loud enough?) with strapons...which I dislike.  It's not a hard limit with me, but in my yellow; I prefer using other things. 
 
It has to develop into a love thing, or I won't be happy. 
 
I'm up all night reading entire threads and posting, so I apologize in advance if my mind hops and skitters about in an annoyingly blonde way. *grins*
 
Anyway, given the deluge of male subs I've experienced who will fling themselves at just any female without bothering to see what kind of person she is first...nor checking to see if their needs would be met...it's my opinion that most fem subs are more careful about who they are handing their future over to, than are the males who approach me. 
 
I've had some male subs call off talking with me, saying that they just want to get lost in their submissive feelings and not learn so much about safety.  Like I'm obsessive or something. [:D]  Subs I'm interested in must understand everything, and I give links we both read, including all possible damage and all safeties for play they are interested in, or I don't take it that I have their informed consent.  I don't care if they played with someone else and left it all in their Dominant's hands before...I'm not their ex.
 
My sub side will say a few words now. *grins*  As a sub, I would have followed wherever he led me (I'm referring to someone who almost collared me) even though the heavier sadism he enjoyed scared me to death.  I had faith in him that he wouldn't break me, and/or that he could put everything to rights in my world if he pushed me too far by accident.  I was so raw and new that there was no way our limits could match, but I hit into a limit of his once, and he came up with a compromise that would satisfy my needs, if not my wants.  I trusted him and respected him more because of this. 
 
Other things got in the way, and he did the right thing for both of us...he chose someone else.
 
Ah, it's now 10:14 a.m. and I need to get to bed...night all.