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LafayetteLady -> RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control (10/28/2011 9:11:04 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hawkdown
OK, alright already....I corrected my age to reflect the truth. I still don't think it will make a difference. I can tell you that I am on other sites, and it doesn't seem to make a difference. Some of the women who have messaged me are older, but the ones who have initiated the contact are just not my cup of tea. Sad, but true in all of the cases. The ones who were closer to my age that I was attracted to didn't pan out, but I can count those on one hand....very few and far between.
There is an old rule for guys that many haven't heard about. It goes something like this....half our age, plus seven. So if he is 24, she would be around 19. If he was 40, she would be around 27. And for me, it's around 35. And of all the women I've dated or have been in relationships with, they were all under 35.
I agree with what many of you have wrote here, and thank you. There is plenty of good advice and opinions, and I respect each one of them. The reward thing I talked about was more of a stab at the extreme, and yes, I realize that if you have to offer a reward, it won't be for the right reasons for any relationship to get off the ground....BUT, (and there's always a butt!), I've tried everything on numerous sites, and what it comes down to is age, plain and simple.
Some people have told me..."go hang out at the store, you'll meet women there." I can just see myself hanging around the yogurt isle while security watches on camera. I've gone to Starbucks, been at numerous nightclubs, and in nearly one year, I've dated 8 different women of which 4 of them I had a relationship with. One of them was 21, and she actually really liked me...but cried one day when we were at the park sitting on a bench watching the children play. I knew what it was...she was thinking about how different I was as compared to the younger stallions who were immature, played video games all day, lived at home with their parents, and couldn't be trusted in a relationship. She saw what she liked in me, but she cried because I would be way too old by the time the kids would attain teen years. I suggested we see and psychologist to help us sort through our age dilemma, and it was the best thing...because I didn't want to hurt her or break it off. Instead, the shrink helped us come to an understanding on neutral ground, and if it were just discrete dating, that would be one thing. If it lead to marriage, that would be difficult because of the huge generation gap, peer pressure, friends, and family. But if lead to children, that would be unrealistic and very difficult for her, the kids, and everyone else in our lives. We mutually agreed to do the right thing, but at least she knows the difference and what a real relationship is all about. Yes, she knew how old I was - I told her the first night we met.
I guess I deserve a spanking for saying I was 48, but then again, what femdom would bother now. I think it would be an interesting twist to have a femdom in my life, although I think a switch scenario describes it better. I think many women enjoy the opportunity to turn their man on in their own way, and if he knows she gets into it once in a while (even though she is sub and he is dom) and enjoys the control; the tease; anything that she knows will drive him nuts for her, I think that's not only fair, but wise to let her experience it. It's healthy, and it's natural for many relationships to take turns and work on the other, yet it is also not natural nor feels comfortable to others. Either way, it's whatever both want to do.
Maybe 2012 will be a better year for me, but 2011 has been a huge disappointment. BTW, the local munches here are hopeless, and there are no local events that attract singles. It always seems to be subs with their doms, or single doms, but rarely do I see single subs. When I see single subs on fetlife, they are usually connected with "under the protection of", or something like that. A good percentage of the single subs don't always specify an age preference, so when I make contact, right away it's an issue....why not just say that in their profile, and I wouldn't bother. I hate that when I make contact and am polite, don't talk about sex at all, yet the first turn off mentioned is "your old enough to be my dad....go away." It's so immature not to put something in a profile with regard to preferences, only to have that person shoot you down like a rabid dog when you initiate a conversation.
Again, all these stupid games are a waste of time and immature, and yes, even 40 year old women have pulled this stunt on me, go figure.
Well, signing off for tonight...I'll check back later. Thanks again.
Look, I know this sounds harsh, but...stop trying to relive your mispent youth. You are pushing 60. You are either close to retired or retired already. All that freedom will TEMPORARILY attract a young girl, but you just aren't going to have much in common by way of life experience. Ever occur to you that is what is happening? The one constant in your failing relationships is YOU, so you need to look at how YOU can change what you are doing, and it doesn't start with complaints about games other people play. ESPECIALLY when you attempted to play such bullshit on these boards. Is that the problem with us gals your age? That when you try to be so "educational," we are a little more likely to be up on the history of what you are talking about and know it is bullshit? I immediately saw your post as some guy who thought he knew it all. Twenty somethings might find that attractive, but forty somethings want someone to share with (most of the time in my opinion), not someone who starts with the "when I was young..."
Look at what you are doing and how you can be more appealling to the right aged women, because right now, you are attracting the women that aren't going to be what you desire in the long run.
Oh yea, and the whole "rule about men?" Was something a guy said to justify dating a girl so much younger than him. Not a rule and not realistic unless, like someone else said, you are as rich as Hefner (nope), or as good looking as Connery and still have the charm of a prince (both of which you don't), the young ones are going to use you for short periods of time and then dump ya. Sorry.
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