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RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/28/2011 3:16:32 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Agreeing with the ladies so far.

There's nothing wrong with liking hot young things. Truly, I think we all enjoy *looking* at youth and beauty.

Many people want to have families. How easy will it be to find someone that doesn't? Someone that can afford to give up her job for whatever your goals are? How many young women are going to stay interested in someone old enough to be their parent in the long term?

Broaden your horizons, or accept that you aren't as hot a property as you think, no matter who looks at you across the bar.

Your reaction to LL's post says a lot about your attitudes. You want validation, not advice.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to MissImmortalPain)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/28/2011 3:54:14 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Bottom line - we aren't interested in relationships with men where we are likely to be their nurse or their purse. 


Sweetness ^ this is a great point. And it works both ways as far as age goes (younger or older) There are very few women that want to be someones nurse, or mommy. Even if the man is sub we as a gender commonly expect them to be able to take care of themself for a good amount of time.

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/28/2011 4:06:45 PM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		Thanks Ms. Pain.  It is actually a quote from Erica Jong.  Interestingly, she was talking about younger men, but I think it works both ways. 



_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/28/2011 4:09:49 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Thanks Ms. Pain.  It is actually a quote from Erica Jong.  Interestingly, she was talking about younger men, but I think it works both ways. 



Erica Jong is someone from the (early) 70's who wished she had a cock.

She doesn't....she didn't....she writes well...and she's going to die without....a cock.

(In or out).

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/28/2011 4:35:21 PM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		No idea what that has to do with anything, Lookie, but thanks for the . . . errrr . . . insight.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/28/2011 4:46:06 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady


quote:

ORIGINAL: hawkdown

LittleWonder, you're right, it hasn't worked for me yet. If I fail, or she fails, I try again. In numbers, like odds at the craps table, sooner or later we might just find each other. I am not necessarily saying she needs to be 23 either. There is one gal who is 40 that is absolutely gorgeous and smoking hot that I like, but she too likes younger guys and wants only to be a friend, which is fine by me. That's another thing I've found out....many women closer to my age are also looking for the younger tight bodies, well hung strappin lads that jump out with sexuality and style. Thing is, and this is no bullshit, whenever I am out, I seem to catch the glimpses of many women who turn to look at me....not once...but several times. I've got something that attracts those glimpses, but it's all the rest of it that enters into the game of chance. I work out at the gym, keep well toned, have tattoos, and am successful in my life and what I have achieved. I will share this scenario with all of you. The last woman I dated was a hot gal, age 35. She does have some sort of problem with drama. When she was with me, all she wanted to do is talk about her issues and problems with an x-boyfriend instead of focusing on us. She would even go so far as to use her cell phone to text him or call him and start another argument, and she couldn't care less about how that looked to me. So, I dismissed her and took her where she wanted to go...then blocked her calls. It's called STUPID, and it's something I will avoid.


So nnow itis the woemn your age are also looking for the "young hot thing." Dude, you have more excuses than Carter has liver pills. You are hung up on a person's appearance, afraid of yourself getting old and trying to relive your youth. Good luck finding someone.

The 40 year old is actually young enough to be your daughter, so I would hazard the guess that regardless of how much you work out, your sagging old balls wouldn't turn her on.

You will find someone when you take your head out of your ass and start looking at the WOMAN, not the "smoking hot gals."



Emotional? Not one bit. Rude? That's how you take it. Critical? It's called honesty. Surely by your age, you have heard of it, even though you don't use it.

I call it like I see it. You were dishonest on your first post, then backpeddled about that, and I still see you as deluded and dishonest. Don't like it? Skip my posts. You aren't in my "target" search group, if I were searching. I have this pet peeve about people who think it is ok to lie and ok to be superficial the way you are. As if you were all that and a bag of chips. Your an old man who wants to be in his 30s again. Nothing new.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/28/2011 7:23:21 PM   
Sherrr


Posts: 61
Joined: 7/25/2011
Status: offline 		I am 34 years old. The half-plus-seven rule would put me with a 54 year-old man. Ew.

Someone that age would be even more out of the question for me if I was like most other childless women my age (dying to have babies before it's too late). How likely do you think I would be to hitch my wagon to the star of a 54 year-old and start a family? When the kids are teenagers, Dad will be in his 70's. He'll probably be dead before the kids graduate college. Our sex life will have been dead long before that. These cradle-robbers live in denial about such issues.

To a 54 year-old who wanted to date me, I would ask him to think about how hot he now finds 74 year-old women. That, after all, is the age he'll be when I'm 54.

< Message edited by Sherrr -- 10/28/2011 7:35:50 PM >

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/28/2011 7:25:07 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		10 up, 10 down... much easier math question.

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If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/28/2011 7:26:09 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sherrr

I am 34 years old. The half-plus-seven rule would put me with a 54 year-old man. Ew.

Someone that age would be even more out of the question for me if I was like most other childless women my age (dying to have babies before it's too late). How likely do you think I would be to hitch my wagon to the star of a 54 year-old and start a family? When the kids are teenagers, Dad will be in his 70's. He'll probably be dead before the kids graduate college. Our sex life will have been dead long before that. These cradle-robbers live in denial about such issues.

To a 54 year-old who wanted to date me, I would ask him to think about how hot he now finds 74 year old-women. That, after all, is the age he'll be when I'm 54.



This. Spot on.

Op, read it and then read it again and again.


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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/28/2011 9:28:29 PM   
hawkdown


Posts: 12
Joined: 5/14/2011
Status: offline 		Some of these responses are getting ridiculous now, especially how naive they are with assumptions. I would love to have a relationship with a woman, even it were for a few years. My balls don't sag, the 21 year old, 27 year old, 29 year old, and 35 year old- all recent relationships, were fantastic - and yes, they all enjoyed the creative sexual escapades and other things we did. All I really expected in this thread was to share some of the difficulties of finding my cinnamon girl, and perhaps get some ideas about where to find her. Sometimes things don't work out - so we move on...and while I enjoy dating younger...older isn't out of the question - but much harder to find given consideration to the things I put on my profile. It's all good, I'll find her eventually, but thanks anyway for the many responses...except for those of you who are complete AH who are either way too egotistical/emotional or have some other disorder that feeds your intent to be the way you are.

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/28/2011 9:38:49 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		you keep saying how well these past relationships worked out....but they didn't. They're in the past and they didn't work out lol..you're still single right?



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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/28/2011 9:39:45 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		Would you kindly point out which are ridiculous. Would you also tell me what it says on that chicks chest in your avatar(it's to little to read) You came asking for opinions. You were given opinions. If you don't like them don't take them. But again as someone else pointed out if things were workng that well for you to begin with than you shouldn't have needed to ask for help.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to hawkdown)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/29/2011 12:17:05 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hawkdown

Some of these responses are getting ridiculous now, especially how naive they are with assumptions. I would love to have a relationship with a woman, even it were for a few years. My balls don't sag, the 21 year old, 27 year old, 29 year old, and 35 year old- all recent relationships, were fantastic - and yes, they all enjoyed the creative sexual escapades and other things we did. All I really expected in this thread was to share some of the difficulties of finding my cinnamon girl, and perhaps get some ideas about where to find her. Sometimes things don't work out - so we move on...and while I enjoy dating younger...older isn't out of the question - but much harder to find given consideration to the things I put on my profile. It's all good, I'll find her eventually, but thanks anyway for the many responses...except for those of you who are complete AH who are either way too egotistical/emotional or have some other disorder that feeds your intent to be the way you are.



As everyone says, they didn't work out. If they did you wouldn't be single. You didn't come here asking a question, really. You came on here spouting off about how you discovered this before Deep Throat even came out while watching television, then got pissed when I pointed out that the movie came out when you were NINE according to your profile. Time to backpeddle and admit you lied on your profile as an experiment to see if it made a difference, you claim it didn't. So basically since you are more than 10 years older than you state, what exactly were you watching on tv? A black and white Howdy Doody? The Ed Sullivan show? Because I know when I was nine, we had 3 channels on a good day, when the weather was right. So if you go back to YOUR childhood, you are barely out of radio, so you have even less.

That's the point. You come in here spouting off all kinds of bullshit that you got called on and you (the big domly dom) just don't like it. Your defense now? We are all mentally ill or overly emotional. I'm surprised you didn't ask us if we had our periods and it was making us moody.

Dude, reality check time. Those relationships didn't work out in the long run. Why? Because even if your balls (according to you) aren't saggy now, they will be, and those "hot young chicks" you want aren't going to want to look at them. Trust me, your six pack vs. a young guy's six pack DO NOT look the same, your age shows, even if you ignore it.

You want to continue to find girls with an Electra complex, go for it. But the reality is that, as has been said multiple times before, the only CONSTANT in your relationships is YOU. Even the way everyone has responded to you on this post. You want to blame our opinions on the most ridiculous things rather than take a look at yourself and figure out what you are doing wrong.

Personally, I think your problem is that you are superficial, shallow and lack good communication skills, both on the speak and the listening side of things. You get the attention of the young girls because the young boys have yet to develop those skills yet as well. That older woman who only wants to be friends? She is too smart to want to bother with your bullshit games, as will most older woman, even if they look like Heather Locklear (who is pushing 50) or Michelle Pfieffer who is 50. If you speak to them the way you speak here, they wouldn't give you the time of day, and NO ONE is going to tell me those ladies ain't smoking hot.

So please continue looking for a little girl to be daddy to. When you really want help figuring out how to have a grown up relationship, come back and maybe some of us won't be too busy changing our tampons to give you some advice.

(in reply to hawkdown)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/29/2011 2:11:24 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		www.seekingarrangement.com



_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/29/2011 3:13:28 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Does the woman who's pic you put on your profile know she's on here helping you troll for young ladies?

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/29/2011 4:38:16 AM   
ElderKnight


Posts: 21
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

So please continue looking for a little girl to be daddy to. When you really want help figuring out how to have a grown up relationship, come back and maybe some of us won't be too busy changing our tampons to give you some advice.

Not just in response to this ^^^^^^^, but in general, I wouldn't (and I don't) focus on an age range, but the person that I can connect with. With that you MUST know what you want, before you can start seeking, or else you set yourself and others up for failure. Other than that, be yourself, which should include honesty and some transparency, and you really can't be wrong. As you are fiinding out everyone here has their opinions & advice on what is right and wrong. Some tend to be more abrasive than others, but look at it, think about it and impliment it if it applies, if it doesn't don't worry about it.
Personally, I don't care to be in a relationship with a young 20 something, they don't have the worldly experience or maturation I'm looking for. At 43 I've been involved with women as young as 20 and old as 52, and I found much more pleasure (not just sex, but conversations, etc) in the upper side of the age range.
Just my 2 cents worth, Live well!!

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/29/2011 6:13:21 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sherrr

I am 34 years old. The half-plus-seven rule would put me with a 54 year-old man. Ew.

Someone that age would be even more out of the question for me if I was like most other childless women my age (dying to have babies before it's too late). How likely do you think I would be to hitch my wagon to the star of a 54 year-old and start a family? When the kids are teenagers, Dad will be in his 70's. He'll probably be dead before the kids graduate college. Our sex life will have been dead long before that. These cradle-robbers live in denial about such issues.

To a 54 year-old who wanted to date me, I would ask him to think about how hot he now finds 74 year-old women. That, after all, is the age he'll be when I'm 54.


this is a really good post.
i'm 27; half + 7 would = 40, which is not really an issue for me, and i've been attracted to 40 year old guys (my Top friend is 43), and even 50 year old guys. =p and i've met some who are vibrant and strong and have a lot of life left in them, for lack of a better phrase. =p
i like older guys and feel "better" around them, usually.

but when you're 27 and wanting to settle down and find a long-term relationship, a guy much older than you is just not a good choice because whereas a 27 year old wants to have kids, usually the older men have been there, done that, and want to enjoy their retired life in leisure, which is fine, but a pretty serious clash in lifeplans.

i'm not the clubbing-going-out-every-night type, but sometimes i do want to go frolicking, and a lot of older men get pretty stodgy about that.
plus... there's the ever-present sex drive issue. if mine is already high (like, obnoxiously high), it may very well remain that way well into my 40s, and if i got with a much older man now, his would be declining and only continue to decline, which would just become an element of frustration for both of us.
most men take it veeeery personally when the chick they're with wants sex more than they do.

the absolute max that i would consider dating at this point is maaaaybe 45, and it would depend on a lot of things. =p


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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/29/2011 6:36:05 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		This thread is kind of scattered over a few areas. As per what you brought up in the beginning about where people have found each other....I met my Dom/bf/partner/whoever here on CM. He wrote me, we hit it off and took things from there. We met in the beginning as two people on equal terms to determine if we liked each others company enough to take things further into D/s. I think that's an important piece. I think many times people look for a general heading like Dom or submissive or transsexual, without taking individuality into account and things are doomed because you can't take out someone's personality and mold them into a replica of what you want no matter how hard you try. Obviously, it's a superficial way to search for someone, seeing if someone falls into a large general category gives you no idea how they will suit you person to person.

You seem to be doing this, taking a general quality or overall category and putting it in zoom focus as your primary search criteria for a partner. You really want the young woman, ok, everyone has their preferences. Then you lament how hard it is and how these women turn you away immediately for your own age. Well, they're entitled to their preference just as you are, and this is going to be a hard row for you to hoe...looking for a young, hot, woman. It doesn't matter if you've accomplished getting one in the past. You are targeting prime territory; to get that, as it was mentioned, you generally have to have something to offer over and above the norm and there are several things about your overall package that can be working against you- the height, the switch factor, your age, the fact that you have a woman's pic on your profile that you once dated that somehow validates you because it's sexy , the fact that you'd like relocation, the fact that you have a good bit of sex/kink mentioned.

There are a couple of things that stand out to me as to why it could be that you are not accomplishing your relationship goal. You are focused in on something that will be hard to get as an older man, you can't have that both ways - say that you want what you want but why won't these young women give you the time of day? The overall picture that you give is that you are really focused on appearance as well as youth, and plus, everything seems to come back to sex and kink. This stuff is superficial. While it's your prerogative to look for it, understand that your search criteria and therefore the image you are presenting, is not going to appeal to many of those young hotties. It might not even be your age, it might be that you're totally focused on your partner's appearance, age, and your sexual needs. These things tend to give the picture of a shallow person.

(in reply to hawkdown)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/29/2011 7:34:52 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sherrr

I am 34 years old. The half-plus-seven rule would put me with a 54 year-old man. Ew.

Someone that age would be even more out of the question for me if I was like most other childless women my age (dying to have babies before it's too late). How likely do you think I would be to hitch my wagon to the star of a 54 year-old and start a family? When the kids are teenagers, Dad will be in his 70's. He'll probably be dead before the kids graduate college. Our sex life will have been dead long before that. These cradle-robbers live in denial about such issues.

To a 54 year-old who wanted to date me, I would ask him to think about how hot he now finds 74 year-old women. That, after all, is the age he'll be when I'm 54.


this is a really good post.
i'm 27; half + 7 would = 40, which is not really an issue for me, and i've been attracted to 40 year old guys (my Top friend is 43), and even 50 year old guys. =p and i've met some who are vibrant and strong and have a lot of life left in them, for lack of a better phrase. =p
i like older guys and feel "better" around them, usually.

but when you're 27 and wanting to settle down and find a long-term relationship, a guy much older than you is just not a good choice because whereas a 27 year old wants to have kids, usually the older men have been there, done that, and want to enjoy their retired life in leisure, which is fine, but a pretty serious clash in lifeplans.

i'm not the clubbing-going-out-every-night type, but sometimes i do want to go frolicking, and a lot of older men get pretty stodgy about that.
plus... there's the ever-present sex drive issue. if mine is already high (like, obnoxiously high), it may very well remain that way well into my 40s, and if i got with a much older man now, his would be declining and only continue to decline, which would just become an element of frustration for both of us.
most men take it veeeery personally when the chick they're with wants sex more than they do.

the absolute max that i would consider dating at this point is maaaaybe 45, and it would depend on a lot of things. =p



Yeah, I wanted to bring this up too. Your age OP is a factor. It's a factor for me and I'm 50, I don't want to take care of anyone. I've taken obnoxiously good care of myself so that no one will have to hopefully take care of me, I want the same thing in return. I know you are saying that you take care of yourself and that's not my point- my point is that it's something I take into account right from the start and I have reasons for doing that. As an older woman, I generally don't date above my own age by much. I mean if I get with someone and things come up, well that's life. But it's a factor, age, and it's something i consider heavily and I'm an old broad. The sex drive thing is a huge issue starting when I was in my 40's as that's when men start having trouble while I'm still in overdrive. Age is definitely something I consider. Once again if sex issues come up with someone I care for then it's just a bump in the road, but if I am single and starting out fresh...who or what do you think I'm looking for if I like to get some action? Working parts would be my goal there.

OP, you bringing up this supposed 'old rule for guys' that justifies seeking out a younger woman- wtf? What a bit of hogwash. What's the rule for women? It's like you latched onto that trivial piece of bulldoody because it justifies your seeking out a young partner. Geez, just go out and look for a young woman if you want it, but don't try to present that as anything factual or scientific because that makes you look silly.

According to your freakishly stupid rule I'd have to be looking for an 86 year old...! Are you serious? Can you see the match that would make...here's me, working out 5-6 times a week, biking (bicycles and motorcycles), kayaking, hiking, volunteering, etc etc etc. I am a seriously active person, matching activity levels with someone makes or breaks my relationships. I"m not presenting myself as superior, I"m simply saying I have nothing in common with men that don't have my outlook. I am in school currently for a new profession and I am the top in the class with a 99% in grades. I am financially secure from other endeavors in my life, I don't need to work, but am doing it because I have something left to give and I want to have an active life. Please tell me what in holy hell I'd have in common with an 86 year old unless he was really an exception to the general population of 86 year old men? Would he ever be able to have sex with me? I want sex. Would he go to the gym with me like my current sweetie does?

I'm not that special or unusual. Look around and see tons of women my age working, taking care of their homes and families, plus the grandchildren and a million other things. An 86 year old guy who is dead by the current US life expectancy level of 75 (for men, 80 for women) isn't going to cut it for me. Perhaps I'll just walk down to the local cemetery and pick out a gravestone to date...Hi Honey, what did you do today?  I take care of 86 year olds in the nursing home where I volunteer, I'm not signing up for that crap as a relationship. Holy cow, did you think before you posted that 'rule' or did it just sound good because it conveniently gave you a place to justify your own preferences? Who cares about you wanting the young hotties, go get one, but don't try to tell me to be pushing around someone's wheelchair because it's somehow my place as a 50 year old woman and somehow it's the 'right' or 'accepted' thing to do.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Assertive - Taking One - Control - 10/29/2011 8:05:39 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		The OP reminds me of a pal from the other side. He's engaged again, I gather... and hats off to him. This will be spouse # 5, I think. And hats off to HER for dealing with him (chronically ill, though active) and his kids (yay! raising another woman's kids is always a joy) and the special needs grown one, and and and. He is allll about the hot, petite, blonde beauty that he can sweep into his arms and ravish. He is not sixty yet...

Did mention this is spouse #5? And there were other relationships in between.

We all have our view of "success", I am sure. It's good to know what we want. It's also good to know when we cannot have that thing/person/goal. It can be hard as hell to say, "that will never happen", but breaking patterns that don't work is a key to moving forward in life, whether it's romance, job, health, etc.

Leaping on the women here for being "emotional" (LOVE THAT!) and "rude"? Well, that's a sorry defense.



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[page 23 girl]



(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 60
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