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On day 1 - 10/27/2011 1:34:16 PM   
orimotis69


Posts: 69
Joined: 10/21/2011
Status: offline 		So I've been reading some of the experiences other masters have had and I was wondering what happens on day 1. What I mean is, say you meet some girl on CM and you had a conversation with them and then you want to meet in person. What happens then?

After having multiple conversations and getting to know each other, both the master and the submissive decide they want to through with this. what happens then?

I know these are broad questions but I'm a geek and I like to understand details.
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RE: On day 1 - 10/27/2011 1:39:21 PM   
wittynamehere


Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline 		I think that would be up to the people involved. Typically people meet for coffee or something first, but then again some people like to skip straight to the abduction/abuse stage on the first date. Consensually of course. All depends on the people.

Think of it as any other relationship - because that's exactly what it is. You just happen to have kinkiness in common.


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RE: On day 1 - 10/27/2011 1:40:27 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Then maybe a meet and greet. Public place, coffee or even dinner. No coming on like gangbusters, trade views, continue establishing trust, you want to see that she isn't a bitch, a flake, or a drama queen, she wants to see you change your underwear, shower, eat with your mouth closed, and dont slop gravy on your tie.......

Yanno, if you dont know what you are doing, go slow, there will always be sex there, they know it you know it, and it ain't like its the last sex you will ever have, so you dont have to dive right into that, cuz all that I can mash the megatons of moulten meat into your firm yet quivverin virginia for days on end, and you will need a football helmet to keep your brains in your head when I shoot my spooge is all cute and stuff, but then when you guys are done with that little 2 minute deal, how will you while away the rest of the 24 hours a day?

Be normal for a bit.

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RE: On day 1 - 10/27/2011 2:41:22 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		We met at an event where it was safe to do some playing together, but no sex. Then we spent the next 3 months communicating via phone and internet. Then we took a vacation together where he met my family and I met his. He was also checked out by my kinky friends. Sex finally came into the picture on this vacation. Six months after we originally met we figured it was a go, so I quit my job and moved 1500 miles away.

Before this I had met several people from the internet and CM in person. Some seemed a great match until we met. There was just no chemistry between us. One had great chemistry on the first meeting at a restaurant, however, after that the chemistry faded. By the third meeting it just wasn't there. One ended up being a super play partner, a resource for checking other Doms out, and today remains a great friend.

You'll just have to take it one step at a time as you both feel comfortable. Whether that comfort comes quickly, slowly, or not at all depends on you both.

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RE: On day 1 - 10/27/2011 3:29:50 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: orimotis69

What I mean is, say you meet some girl on CM and you had a conversation with them and then you want to meet in person. What happens then?
You decide if you like each other enough to get to know one another.


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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: On day 1 - 10/27/2011 3:43:33 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		The same thing you do when you meet anyone and you two want to know each other...date.

Ya know, keep meeting, keep getting together, keep talking to each other, etc....

Why do people keep thinking bdsm has some kind of miracle answer to this?????



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RE: On day 1 - 10/27/2011 4:01:24 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		My initial meet with him was in the parking lot of Lowes. We talked for about 15 minutes to verify that our chemistry in email was also there in the flesh.
It was.
Our second meet was in a hotel room and motherfucker was it ever hot.


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RE: On day 1 - 10/27/2011 4:33:39 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

I like to understand details
So do I, which is why I try to ask specific, detailed questions, rather than unanswerably broad and nebulous ones.

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RE: On day 1 - 10/27/2011 4:44:44 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

quote:

I like to understand details
So do I, which is why I try to ask specific, detailed questions, rather than unanswerably broad and nebulous ones.



So that's what a Canuck ass looks like eh

BadOne

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RE: On day 1 - 10/27/2011 4:54:13 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Then maybe a meet and greet. Public place, coffee or even dinner. No coming on like gangbusters, trade views, continue establishing trust, you want to see that she isn't a bitch, a flake, or a drama queen, she wants to see you change your underwear, shower, eat with your mouth closed, and dont slop gravy on your tie.......



And once she's way past her eyeballs invested in the relationship, then you can let your true colors show.

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

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RE: On day 1 - 10/27/2011 5:58:14 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Emails and instant messages people can think they are totally in tune with each other and think everything is perfect. But then meeting in person, it can all go to hell. It can also be just like the emails and chats.

I would say never plan on playing on a first meet. If you meet and decide that you both want to, great, go for it. But often it takes a bit more time to establish trust and compatibility. Don't be in a hurry to rush to play and sex and see if you are compatible as people after that.

(in reply to orimotis69)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: On day 1 - 10/27/2011 7:15:20 PM   
EmilyRocks


Posts: 357
Joined: 5/5/2011
Status: offline
quote:

So that's what a Canuck ass looks like eh
No, this is.




Attachment (1)

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RE: On day 1 - 10/27/2011 10:15:08 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmilyRocks

quote:

So that's what a Canuck ass looks like eh
No, this is.




Are you sure??? That ass sure looks Irish to me

BadOne

_____________________________

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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RE: On day 1 - 10/28/2011 6:56:19 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: orimotis69

So I've been reading some of the experiences other masters have had and I was wondering what happens on day 1. What I mean is, say you meet some girl on CM and you had a conversation with them and then you want to meet in person. What happens then?

After having multiple conversations and getting to know each other, both the master and the submissive decide they want to through with this. what happens then?




Usually I bang the holy fuck out of her.


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(in reply to orimotis69)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: On day 1 - 10/28/2011 7:28:34 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I fast tracked my guy cuz I felt good about him.

Thursday - met for dinner at a restaurant

Saturday - he cooked me lunch at his place. Meet his roommates. Fooled around a little. I felt comfortable going to his place because:
1. we'd spent several weeks talking, emailing, chatting
2. we'd met at the restaurant
3. his roommates were there
4. good vibes

Sunday - he came to my place. We went canoing. I cooked for him. He met my mother - admittedly early, but unavoidable for the canoing scenario, as I lived with her. Cuddled in the hammock.

We started doing overnights and scenes that included sex the next weekend.


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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: On day 1 - 10/28/2011 8:16:53 AM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		I think I know what you are asking orimotis. How do i get this whole dominance thing going. I would suggest meeting in real life over dinner or what have you and arranging a scene. Talk about what you both expect, limits, concerns, things you both might like to try, safe words ... Then, when that day is right, set that scene up. It is the easiest answer. After you play, sit and cuddle (or whatever feels natural to you both) and talk about what worked and what didn't. Always take into consideration how she is doing emotionally, mentally, physically ~ now im not saying they can't be pushed but you need to be aware of her states. Don't get so wrapped up into yourself if you know what i mean. Hmm well that is all that i can think of for now. Good luck. If you do well you will keep dating and it may become even more.

< Message edited by coookie -- 10/28/2011 8:21:35 AM >

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RE: On day 1 - 10/28/2011 10:47:12 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		We met at a Starbucks in a mall. Then we walked around K Mart while I looked for a new cordless phone for my Dad that was very low tech. Then I got into his car and we went up about a mile to a diner for brunch. I don't know the area that well and am directionally challenged. Then we swung by a deli and got sandwiches, he brought me back to my car and I followed him to the state park where we spent the afternoon.

Second meet we had sex/play. And before and after the first meet we talked constantly. Emails, cell phones and chat.


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RE: On day 1 - 10/28/2011 11:29:58 AM   
fragilepieces


Posts: 416
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:


After having multiple conversations and getting to know each other, both the master and the submissive decide they want to through with this. what happens then?
  I went to visit him and spent four wonderful days there. 

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: On day 1 - 10/28/2011 12:35:41 PM   
orimotis69


Posts: 69
Joined: 10/21/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

I fast tracked my guy cuz I felt good about him.

Thursday - met for dinner at a restaurant

Saturday - he cooked me lunch at his place. Meet his roommates. Fooled around a little. I felt comfortable going to his place because:
1. we'd spent several weeks talking, emailing, chatting
2. we'd met at the restaurant
3. his roommates were there
4. good vibes

Sunday - he came to my place. We went canoing. I cooked for him. He met my mother - admittedly early, but unavoidable for the canoing scenario, as I lived with her. Cuddled in the hammock.

We started doing overnights and scenes that included sex the next weekend.



Thanks for sharing

quote:

ORIGINAL: coookie

I think I know what you are asking orimotis. How do i get this whole dominance thing going. I would suggest meeting in real life over dinner or what have you and arranging a scene. Talk about what you both expect, limits, concerns, things you both might like to try, safe words ... Then, when that day is right, set that scene up. It is the easiest answer. After you play, sit and cuddle (or whatever feels natural to you both) and talk about what worked and what didn't. Always take into consideration how she is doing emotionally, mentally, physically ~ now im not saying they can't be pushed but you need to be aware of her states. Don't get so wrapped up into yourself if you know what i mean. Hmm well that is all that i can think of for now. Good luck. If you do well you will keep dating and it may become even more.


That's kinda what I'm curious about. Perhaps I should have asked how people got started. I mean this isn't your typical online dating site or am I the crazy one.
So basically:
Go at your own pace
Have some email and face-to-face contact
Talk it out with your partner(soon to be partner)
And when things get serious, go for it!

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: On day 1 - 10/28/2011 12:44:31 PM   
fragilepieces


Posts: 416
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: orimotis69


That's kinda what I'm curious about. Perhaps I should have asked how people got started. I mean this isn't your typical online dating site or am I the crazy one.
So basically:
Go at your own pace
Have some email and face-to-face contact
Talk it out with your partner(soon to be partner)
And when things get serious, go for it!
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said 'go at your own pace.'   Also follow your gut.   For me this works wonders.      Phone contact is good too prior to a meeting.   For me it is required because some voices are a complete turn off for me---like southern accents (YUCK!)

(in reply to orimotis69)
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