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RE: Catharsis - 10/31/2011 5:32:12 AM

xxblushesxx

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Maybe it's the release of all those endorphins? *yummy*

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RE: Catharsis - 10/31/2011 6:01:06 AM

lelloy

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quote:

Can BDSM be cathatric for you in times of stress? Does it just exacerbate the stress? Or does it really depend on where the stress is comng from?

It can be cathartic if done right, but just as easily it can turn into a bigger stressor. I'm not quite sure what makes the difference, just sometimes what I want ends up hurting in the bad way instead of the good. A partner with whom you have good chemistry and communication and who knows your signals would be more effective at relieving stress.

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RE: Catharsis - 10/31/2011 6:28:47 AM

DesFIP

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It's well known that tears serve to release emotions and that most people have difficulty crying. So it isn't the pain that is required so much as the tears. As littlewonder stated, sometimes being gently stroked will bring on the tears leaving her in as good a place as if the tears were brought on by pain.

However, strong enough pain is more reliable as a way to get to the crying stage and thus that's why it's picked more commonly.

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RE: Catharsis - 10/31/2011 7:54:05 AM

lizi

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Yes, a rough and painful session helps me when I'm stressed, it doesn't exacerbate things. Extra work-outs at the gym help me as well, but not as much. Maybe because I'm there so often anyway that my mind perceives it as an everyday thing. When he becomes more assertive and aggressive verbally and in his outward actions when we're not in the bedroom- that helps me release stress as well.

The pain and the D/s tend to center me and take away the out of control feeling that stress produces. Afterward I feel more focused and peaceful. I've never really had a time when I felt worse. As others have mentioned, the tears help facilitate the release also.

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RE: Catharsis - 10/31/2011 8:45:38 AM

coookie

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Any time that we overcome something victoriously that we perceive as difficult (such as climbing a mountain, rafting a river) it is a great catharsis in regards to ongoing stress that we really can't just overcome. Endorphins get flowing and your fight or flight response actually is benefiting you because of the increase of chemicals needed for bursts of energy.

A good session can be the same. A work out at the gym can give you the same thing though, like lizi mentioned, if it is something you do all of the time it doesn't seem as an accomplishment so there is less ... "Ah Hah" at the end of it.

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RE: Catharsis - 10/31/2011 10:30:30 AM

SimplyMichael

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Trying to achieve catharsis has never worked for me and i have achieved it at other times with little if any pain. I my time in the scene those who try to achieve it, especially inexperienced often get frustrated at best or with a bit of unwanted drama at worst.

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RE: Catharsis - 10/31/2011 12:20:32 PM

LadyHibiscus

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I believe that it's possible, but rare. I say this as a person who doesnt have endorphin reactions...so definitely a YMMV. As a dom/top, I would never pick up a whip when feeling stressed, I do NOT work out my issues on someone else's body in that fashion.

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RE: Catharsis - 10/31/2011 4:36:51 PM

mummyman321

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From a sub side of things I can certainly get stress relief from a good torment/torture scene. But I do not really see this as Catharsis. The deeper my release just relates more to the fact I was deeply tuned into the Domme, focused on her, and vice versa, she was focus on me. Good energy echange. The emotional and physical release that happens is a wonderful side effect.

I see Cathersis more as entering the session with the intent to have the release where as I enter the scene for the purpose of experiencing the energy exchange.

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RE: Catharsis - 10/31/2011 5:20:17 PM

Endivius

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From my own experience, the submissive women I've been with found the more intense sessions to be a big stress reliever. I do not think it was the pain itself, so much as the freedom to completely forgo all the restraints and inhibitions they held. Much of that relied on thier trust in me, and the conversations we had during and after the scene.

By making them feel completely free of the usual constraints and trusting completely in someone else to be responsible, they were able to better face thier demons so to speak. Even if thier demon was just some dick head at work or a proffessor who was extremely demanding. I believe most people who experience catharsis from BDSM do so because it allows them an outlet otherwise unavailable to them to completely let go of all thier stress and experience something pure and in the moment.

As a sadomasochist; when I feel myself overwhelmed by stress, I just go to the gym and spar someone bigger than me. I know I'm gonna take some hard shots that are going to hurt like hell, I know I'm gonna bleed. It doesn't matter, because for those ten or fifteen minutes, I'm not thinking about work, bills, or anything else. I'm in the cage and it's just me and the other guy beating the shit out of eachother, and when the coach stops us, it's over. I allways feel at peace after a good fight; relaxed.

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RE: Catharsis - 10/31/2011 6:52:23 PM

HisPet21

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quote:

i don't think anyone has said anything about abuse.

if you're somehow reading posts in such a way as to think that there's a lack of caring or lack of emotion, you'd be terribly mistaken.

Oh, my bad! I know no one said anything about abuse, I just wanted to make it clear that I wasn't seeking abuse to relieve stress either! It was just a clarifier, used to demonstrate that I wasn't asking about being harmed for the sake of causing bodily damage, but for the sake of a scene involving two people who care about each other and enjoy BDSM. I understand that no one here has referenced "lack of caring or lack of emotion" in their partner. Sorry for the poor clarification.

Also, thanks for everyone's responses so far! They make me feel a lot less weird for wanting to explore stress relief in this fashion.

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RE: Catharsis - 10/31/2011 9:27:52 PM

lupineEleven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisPet21
..."You know what would probably help? Having the shit tortured/dominated/beaten out of me." ...
[...] Can BDSM be cathatric for you in times or stress?
[...] Since my partner and I are still on the light side of things and have never done anything too extreme...he isn't comfortable with that yet...

When times get tough, I start saying that a lot. For me, it doesn't always have to be physical either. Especially since right now, we can't give me very big marks very often due to my work - bruises cost money, and they can't be hidden... at all. I get naked. You can't hide SHIT when you're naked.

..though I do get a lot of compliments for being the only person without tattoos these days. ^-^

Back on topic!
I've noticed that a good amount of sensory deprivation (grab a blindfold, it gets good) can really help me, without leaving a lot of marks or feeling too 'intense'. If your Dom can figure out a good mindfuck and you like being mentally psyched out, best way to do things without feeling like he's going "too hard". Another fun thing is playing with force. You don't have to wail and do a lot of beating, sometimes just roughly tying you up and then getting fucked sideways silly whether you like it or not. The attitude and emotions evoked in a consensual rape scene can be very cathartic to me. Though keep in mind that it may not work for you; it's a really good idea to take those sorts of mental things slow to make sure you don't trip any unexpected triggers.

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RE: Catharsis - 11/1/2011 9:18:58 AM

oneluckysub

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I am not into excess pain for pain's sake but I do like to give up control to my partner. I find that giving up the control is a huge stress reliever for me. Especially when I am stressed because of the excess control (or loss of control) I have in my life. Too much work, too much family, too much bs from people will cause me to be stressed.

I have not achieved catharsis through playing though since I dont feel need to purge my emotions.I have the ability to discuss and manage my emotions fairly well so I don't get overwhelmed by them.

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Post #: 32