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Daddy Dom - 11/4/2011 8:23:23 AM   
submissivexheart


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ello's -she waved enthusiastically, innocently sucking on a lollipop- i've a new interest in DaddyDom's ... but i'm not entirely sure what similarities and differences would be between a Master & a DaddyDom...

can S/someone please explain to me...

thankies
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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/4/2011 9:22:04 AM   
poise


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I think that, because there are so many people that hold different opinions of
what a Master is, this question won't have one definitive answer for you.

One of the similarities I would image is that both offer a nurturing enviroment.

What about a Daddy Dom interests you all of a sudden?
Perhaps the differences and similarities that really matter lie in your answer.

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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/4/2011 9:28:13 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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i honestly don't know what to say or explain to you... to me, it's a pretty nebulous dynamic. you have some people who want to play regression games, some people who want to roleplay as if the Dad/daughter relationship is biological, some people who just have an attitude about them, and and and...

why do you have a new interest in Daddy Doms? is there a particular dynamic that you're going for or inspired by? are you into being bratty or regressing?

for me, i don't really want a DD/lg relationship; i'm more oriented towards D/s or M/s but they aren't mutually exclusive dynamics, anyway, so it almost seems pointless to even make the statement. i'm an lg but i'm not a brat, not a regresser, not really interested in calling someone "Daddy" at all.

to me, it's a facet of their personality, just like being an lg is a facet of mine. it's an attitude they have and a way they interact with you, but i can't really even put a finger on particular specific things.  some of the things that people mention about relationships with DDs, like nurturing or guidance, are things that people have in relationships without the title. =p other things that people consider totally necessary for DD/lg dynamics are things that others would never want in a million years.

just get to know yourself, be honest about that with yourself and with people you meet, and you'll find someone who is a good fit for you. the labels only mean what people make them mean; they don't have room for details -- the details come out later. so you can say that you're interested in a DD/lg dynamic, but go further and illuminate what that means to you.

< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 11/4/2011 9:33:41 AM >


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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/4/2011 9:35:40 AM   
mnottertail


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And thats sort of the thing this nebulousness because there is a contiuum here, there is not 'THE daddy dom' but 'A or YOUR daddy dom' dynamic, that needs headspace in you. Like Lilly said.

It could be taken in hand style, it could be strict and even abusive father(authority) figure, it could be ....

So it runs the gamut from kind and patient longsuffering father with adoring but mischievious little girl to nefarious authority figure abuses and debauches kind and patient longsuffering innocence in every way imaginable.

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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/4/2011 9:40:26 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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those are good points, too -- there are so many different ways.

there's a Little Miss, or Little Mister dynamic, where the "little" person is actually the boss and bosses the DD around.

there's the incest slant

there's the cuddly Santa-like daddy who makes all your dreams come true and spoils you to death.

there's the mean, abusive daddy and the corrupted and abused little girl

there's the brat thing

and then there are people like me who just like barrettes and coloring sometimes and just want someone to not judge negatively. =p


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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/4/2011 9:42:02 AM   
mnottertail


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nothing wrong with barrettes, being the abusive and corrupting influence that I am, I call them hairclips.



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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/4/2011 9:45:56 AM   
littlewonder


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Well for us there's a big difference.

We're not in a Daddy type of relationship. For us that would mean treating her as a child, her acting like a child. That's a turnoff really for the both of us. He treats me like an adult and expect me to act like an adult. However, we do have a punishment dynamic in our relationship but for us that's just simply a consequence for knowingly doing something wrong. That's a part of everyone's life no matter whether they're into bdsm or not.

We're of the Master/slave relationship meaning that he says, I do. It means I actually have work to do, I can't just lie back and be nurtured and babied. He usually likens it to the Old South plantations lol and he'd be pretty correct.



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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/4/2011 9:51:39 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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see, to me, that's not a big difference at all.

my last relationship was more M/s in its execution. i was always treated like an adult and related to as an adult (i don't want to be considered a child at all, because i'm not =p), carried my own weight, and wasn't babied or spoiled at all. if i disobeyed (which was rare) there were consequences. our relationship wasn't a DD/lg relationship on paper, and he called it D/s.
for me, it was a personality thing with him that i could relate to on a particular level, without having to be spoiled and babied and all that.

that's why this is all so nebulous. there just isn't a fine line to point to and say "here, OP, this is the DD/lg section."

i think for some people, DD/lg relationships are not about those things. they're about being a spoiled princess, or having a diaper changed, or being bratty (which i just can't... gaah...). but for others, it's just something else altogether.

< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 11/4/2011 9:54:27 AM >


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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/4/2011 9:58:47 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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The whole "daddy" thing really squicked me for a long time, but recently two of my Fetlife pals posted very eloquently on what it meant to THEM...and it appears (to my deep discomfort) that I may in fact be a Daddy.

Neither of them is an age player, they are both adults in adult relationships. Their "Daddy" dom is a protector, a nurturer, the person they can run to/cling to, the person that loves them unconditionally. He recognizes their broken places, and helps them through that. He makes decisions, and makes the rules.

As our Hannah says, it's all window dressing. The key to any of this is knowing what you NEED to flourish in a relationship, regardless of the name you put on it.



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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/4/2011 11:25:57 AM   
Hisprettybaby


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
recently two of my Fetlife pals posted very eloquently on what it meant to THEM...and it appears (to my deep discomfort) that I may in fact be a Daddy.

Neither of them is an age player, they are both adults in adult relationships. Their "Daddy" dom is a protector, a nurturer, the person they can run to/cling to, the person that loves them unconditionally. He recognizes their broken places, and helps them through that. He makes decisions, and makes the rules.

This sounds as good as any explanation I could have come up with myself. I know on Fet I wrote What DD/lg Means to Me and it sounds a lot like that.

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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/4/2011 1:55:15 PM   
daveWSmaster


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A daddy is in charge but in a way which allows much more cuddling, gentle but firm treatment, caring instruction. True there may be occasions for punishment - and depending on the 'age' of the sub that could be going to bed early, naughty stair, spanking. There will also be chances for cuddles - especially after telling a naughty sub off. Depending on the 'age' of the sub there may also be occasions when the sub is in possibly humiliating age related clothing, being bathed and similar. I would say its a far gentler and nicer relationship than many others.

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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/4/2011 3:17:22 PM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

The whole "daddy" thing really squicked me for a long time, but recently two of my Fetlife pals posted very eloquently on what it meant to THEM...and it appears (to my deep discomfort) that I may in fact be a Daddy.

Neither of them is an age player, they are both adults in adult relationships. Their "Daddy" dom is a protector, a nurturer, the person they can run to/cling to, the person that loves them unconditionally. He recognizes their broken places, and helps them through that. He makes decisions, and makes the rules.


I had very much the same view until my relationship with Master. We do not age play, we do not have a punishment dynamic. We are both adults. I started calling him Daddy because Master and Sir seemed too formal for our warm, fun relationship. He is very protective of me, even when I think I don't need protecting and he's definitely the authority figure.


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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/4/2011 6:22:35 PM   
NuevaVida


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What OsideGirl said.

We don't role play, I'm not a brat, he is the authority, and I do what he says.  Not sure where littlewonder got the notion of lying back being babied without having to work.  That's certainly not the case here.

Then again, as has been pointed out, there are lots of versions of D/lg dynamics.

As has also been said, D/lg and M/s or D/s are not mutually exclusive.  The Mister is my Daddy and my Master.  He is the authority and I do not say no.  He is, however, nurturing and loving in his care, and not rigid or strict (generally) in his approach to directing me.  He's pretty relaxed about things and not high protocol (although there are some protocols).

Sometimes I get pretty playful, but I'm not a "little."

So, like lilly said, it would be good to figure out where this interest of yours emanates from, to better determine what kind of D/lg dynamic you are best suited for.


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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/4/2011 9:02:05 PM   
hangemhigh1953


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Master is kind of an all-encompassing word for a D-type in a D/s relationship. The definition of Daddy can vary from person to person, but I interpret it as a Dom who's more on the nurturing side of the spectrum than on the sadistic side. One who takes loving control of his sub like one would a child or a beloved pet, rather than one who sees his sub as a piece of meat (not that there's anything better or worse about either dynamic).

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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/4/2011 9:12:19 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


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I think all relationships can have high amounts of tenderness and gentleness, if that's what you and they want. Not every one wants tenderness, some people want severe and harsh, and then some may want severe and harsh and reduce them to a blubbering slobbering snotty mess , and then once the glow wears off then be tender. But I do think someone who's A daddy, or Daddy oriented would want to provide the kind of needs a little girl or young oriented sub or baby girl or what ever title you choose would be more apt to want to provide those needs than a strictly D/s, My first dom told me to stop sucking my thumb, it was age inappropriate and he didn't want to see it any more, and I was 21, so not horribly old. I ignored him and never did stop, because we were long distance and only got to see each other once, but in my next relationship, I made sure to pick someone who had absolutely no problem with it, provided I knew the when and where of ok to do it, as in not at his work place over dinner, but in car ok, or park where not observed closely ok.
quote:

ORIGINAL: daveWSmaster

A daddy is in charge but in a way which allows much more cuddling, gentle but firm treatment, caring instruction. True there may be occasions for punishment - and depending on the 'age' of the sub that could be going to bed early, naughty stair, spanking. There will also be chances for cuddles - especially after telling a naughty sub off. Depending on the 'age' of the sub there may also be occasions when the sub is in possibly humiliating age related clothing, being bathed and similar. I would say its a far gentler and nicer relationship than many others.


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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/5/2011 9:38:39 AM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953
The definition of Daddy can vary from person to person, but I interpret it as a Dom who's more on the nurturing side of the spectrum than on the sadistic side.


Master is a hard core sadist and is still nurturing and caring.


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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/5/2011 10:03:48 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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indeed -- one doesn't cancel out or omit the other...

even as an lg, i would be unhappy in a relationship without a sadistic bent. it's kinda vital for me. =p haha


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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/5/2011 7:42:51 PM   
NuevaVida


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

indeed -- one doesn't cancel out or omit the other...

even as an lg, i would be unhappy in a relationship without a sadistic bent. it's kinda vital for me. =p haha


I agree, Lilly.  There's a tenderness between Daddy and I but when he wants to hurt me....well...yeah, I hurt.

And I need that.


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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/6/2011 5:19:52 AM   
slaveluci


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

What OsideGirl said.

We don't role play, I'm not a brat, he is the authority, and I do what he says.  Not sure where littlewonder got the notion of lying back being babied without having to work.  That's certainly not the case here.


Ditto 100 times to this. In our relationship, it has nothing to do with lying back and being babied. I work my ass off all week at the library and here at home as He does at His job and home as well. If anyone gets "babied," it would be Him when I do nurturing things for Him but then, He does them in return for me so it's very mutually beneficial No roles, no brattiness, no bad girl getting punished for some imagined bad actions. Just a protective, loving father-figure loving me and, as Nueva said, hurting me like hell when He feels like it. It soooo works for us
luci

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RE: Daddy Dom - 11/7/2011 4:16:20 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


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Think of it like your Cell Phone service... you get your basic service (a Dominant), and then any additional components that are added -- be it ownership, sadism, D/lg, or whatever.

Thus, from a simplistic, very general standpoint...

Top = Dominant person + in the bedroom only with their submissive partner (a bottom).

Dom = Dominant person + enjoys significant control of their submissive partner (a sub).

Master = Dominant person + enjoys complete control of their submissive partner (a slave).

Daddy = Dominant person + enjoys the Daddy/little girl dynamic with their submissive partner (a sub/slave/little girl).

Sadist = Dominant person + enjoys inflicting pain on their submissive partner (a sub/slave/masochist).

HOH = Domiant person (Head of Houshold) + enjoys a more 1950's-ish style of living with their partner (a domestic).

PERV = Any and/or all of the above.



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