RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (Full Version)

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Hillwilliam -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/5/2011 4:20:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Geez, Bunny.. I think that guy has a brother in California!!
And another in Tennessee!


Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy



JstAnotherSub -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/5/2011 4:59:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam


quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Geez, Bunny.. I think that guy has a brother in California!!
And another in Tennessee!


Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Oh hell was that you?!?!?!  I hope you finally cleaned the damn dog poop off the dining room floor!



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/5/2011 5:28:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: withacherryontop
There isn't a firm definition of any of those terms that people agree to.


I assume you mean that ALL people agree to? Because if there were no meaning behind the words than there would be no point in using them at all. *oh* and a lot of folks would need to stop commenting on what some "dom" men put on their profiles or say in their intros.



withacherryontop -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/5/2011 6:43:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain


quote:

ORIGINAL: withacherryontop
There isn't a firm definition of any of those terms that people agree to.


I assume you mean that ALL people agree to? Because if there were no meaning behind the words than there would be no point in using them at all. *oh* and a lot of folks would need to stop commenting on what some "dom" men put on their profiles or say in their intros.



Sure, we all know in a broad general sense what a dom, sub, etc. are. However, there is no specificity to the terms. You're not going to find any general agreement, for example, on what nuances separate a sub from a bottom or a slave. The problem the OP is having is he expects terms like "slave" and "sub" to be attached to a very narrow and specific set of behaviors he expects, but which others don't.




SexyThoughts -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/5/2011 7:07:37 PM)

Some of the limits might have something to do their last Ex. If their last Dom made them tin their shit, literally. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artist's_shit "Manzoni's girlfriend Nanda Vigo, who helped him produce the cans, claimed the contents really were faeces"

Then they may admire a Monet, but they really don't want to risk dating another "artistic" Dom. [:D]




HannahLynn -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/6/2011 6:24:51 AM)

quote:

Maids are very affordable these days!
well affordable is a relative fucking concept, besides, hired maids don't do the housework nude or semi-nude the way heather does, so they really don't compare.



HannahLynn -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/6/2011 6:28:30 AM)

quote:

You're not going to find any general agreement, for example, on what nuances separate a sub from a bottom or a slave.
well that may be so, but this is my fucking house, so the only definition that counts for shit are my definitions. if some twat wants to call herself a slave but doesn't fit my definition, then they are less than useless to me.



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/6/2011 11:30:03 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: withacherryontop


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain


quote:

ORIGINAL: withacherryontop
There isn't a firm definition of any of those terms that people agree to.


I assume you mean that ALL people agree to? Because if there were no meaning behind the words than there would be no point in using them at all. *oh* and a lot of folks would need to stop commenting on what some "dom" men put on their profiles or say in their intros.



Sure, we all know in a broad general sense what a dom, sub, etc. are. However, there is no specificity to the terms. You're not going to find any general agreement, for example, on what nuances separate a sub from a bottom or a slave. The problem the OP is having is he expects terms like "slave" and "sub" to be attached to a very narrow and specific set of behaviors he expects, but which others don't.




I don't think that is the op's problem. I think the problem is he expects the words to mean something other than a trade off for sex and for many they do mean something other than just that. I also have to say that I think everyone expects some words to mean something. A lot of folks seem to want to set this "lifestyle" apart from other but honestly if someone told me they were going to bring me a cat and they showed up with a dog I would be a little confused about it as well. Perhaps the problem is that many are not very clear. Maybe we should be more detailed in what we seek....A dom into pain(because not all are) A slave into service(because though it confuses me not all are) Things of that sort.



MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/6/2011 8:36:02 PM)

With so many posts here and elsewhere (as well as in every book about BDSM) that mention the need for communication, I am of the opinion that perhaps they should be defined.  It would certainly make discussions much easier if everyone was on the same page with the language.

I know what I mean when I say sub or slave, but if you have a different meaning than mine we are talking at each other, not to each other.

English is, unfortunately, one of the least precise human languages.

Of course, as soon as someone tries to define the terms just about everyone else is going to say, "You can't put me in a box!"

You know, except for the slaves, subs, bottoms and switches who enjoy caging.



tazzygirl -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/6/2011 8:41:54 PM)

Thats part of the problem. A sub to you will be a slave to another, and a brat to a third. The only one's who can make those determinations are the one's who own them.

For example... you have a woman you have determined is your slave. She meets all your qualifications for being such. But your qualifications wont be the same as someone else's.

Then we come to your desire to have a "set" definition. But who's definition is the correct one?

In my mind, it doesnt matter. The only opinion that matters is the opinion of the man who holds my leash.



MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/6/2011 9:18:35 PM)

Which is fine if you were only talking to the person on the other end of the leash.  A lack of definition inhibits discussion though.

It would never be a 'set' definition merely guidelines, of which none currently exist.  I think that we can agree a girl who occasionally likes to have here hands tied to the bed posts is not a slave; but at which point does she go from having some kinky fantasies to being a sub?

The problem is that overlapping terms are incredibly  difficult to define.  It's one of the major stumbling blocks in developing true artificial intelligence.  Even if we could define these terms, there are still going to be edge cases where people fit into more than one category.

So, basically, I am saying that we won't ever be able to define the terms precisely.  It'd be nice though.

Oh, and if slaves or subs are available: doing the washing up after dinner is definitely a hard limit for me.  :-)



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/6/2011 9:25:03 PM)

I actually agree whole heartedly with you on this one. I hate what technology is doing to language. When I say the word "dom" I know what I mean. When I say the word "slave" I know what I mean. And I have no issue with anyone putting me in the pushy, bitchy, greedy, bossy box....as long as it isn't a real box that is.




HannahLynn -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/6/2011 9:28:27 PM)

quote:

The only opinion that matters is the opinion of the man who holds my leash.
exactly! you and heather are both mouthy as fuck, but that's ok by me and your man, he and i define slavery by different measures than some others, and in my case definitely, and in his case apparently, those measures don't happen to include being a subservient wallfower type to all and sundry.

i don't know about him, but i'd be bored to fucking tears with one of those "whatever you desire mistress" types.



HannahLynn -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/6/2011 9:37:06 PM)

quote:

doing the washing up after dinner is definitely a hard limit for me
well that's a fucking given, i mean we can't be fucking them and abusing them all the time, so they need to make themselves useful during those down times.

to me the difference between a slave and a sub is a matter of degrees of autonomy. here at haytch, we have a slave and a sub. here at home there really is no effective difference, they are both expected to do as they are told, they both have household duties, they both get played with when we decide, and so on.

but in areas outside the home, things are very fucking different. let's take school for example. i will advise cheri on  matters regarding what courses to take and what school to go to and so on, but it is her decision, she is a submissive, and has overall control of her life, but follows my lead and guidance.

heather on the other hand, will go to the school of my choosing and will take the classes and program of my choosing. i have overall control of her life and she follows my orders.

that pretty much defines the difference in my mind.

an addendum: a submissive has autonomy except in those areas where she has ceded it to her dominant, a slave has autonomy only in those areas where her owner has granted it.



MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/6/2011 10:01:54 PM)

quote:

a submissive has autonomy except in those areas where she has ceded it to her dominant, a slave has autonomy only in those areas where her owner has granted it.


Well put; that's how I see it as well.  Now let's just get all the other people who already flout social norms to see it that way.

I suggest accomplishing this by threatening them with that axe on your shoulder.



MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/6/2011 10:06:08 PM)

Addendum:  Bottoms would be defined as being submissive in the bedroom (or in carnal matters) only..

Now you go convince everyone.  I'm only indecent, but you're corrupted.

Besides, being able to have both a sub and a slave in the same household is an impressive accomplishment in my book.  Having to juggle two sets of rules is complex.



DeviantlyD -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/6/2011 10:44:44 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynn

i will advise cheri on  matters regarding what courses to take and what school to go to and so on, but it is her decision, she is a submissive, and has overall control of her life, but follows my lead and guidance.


Considering that in another thread it was stated that Cheri's parents are paying for school, I doubt you have any influence over what school she goes to and what program she would be involved in. Unless what was said in the other post wasn't true, of course. [:D]



kalikshama -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/7/2011 5:12:42 AM)

Awws, DD, your crush on Hannah is so cute!

[image]http://naturallyalise.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2910/09/crush-on-you.jpg[/image]



tazzygirl -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/7/2011 5:28:47 AM)

quote:

i don't know about him, but i'd be bored to fucking tears with one of those "whatever you desire mistress" types.


The first time I said to him "As long as you are happy" he stopped, turned and looked at me, and I swear a light bulb went off in his head, because he immediately said... "What are you pissed about?"

He listens to me type and asks... "Who are you pissing off tonight?"

Yep, I am mouthy, but rarely towards him. Yep, I am bratty, and he loves it. Yep, I am that wall flower, when its time to be, and he adores how I know what time it is. [;)]



tazzygirl -> RE: Slaves with 'wierd' limits. (11/7/2011 5:30:21 AM)

quote:

an addendum: a submissive has autonomy except in those areas where she has ceded it to her dominant, a slave has autonomy only in those areas where her owner has granted it.


Perfect!!!!



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