RE: Pro-Domme question - not just a general complaint

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RE: Pro-Domme question - not just a general complaint - 11/9/2011 6:29:17 PM

GoddessAras

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/22/2011
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First you must factor in that for it is in our legal "best interest" not to even discuss certain fetishes in exchange for $$$. Here in NY spitting on someone is considered a sexual act and when money is involved in the act it is considered a form of prostitution.

Secondly, if you are dealing with a "domme" who has no experience in a particular fetish they could be saying NO because they don't want to look like an idiot "trying to figure it out" while getting paid for their "service" (more or less HURT you in ways you wish not to be hurt). Some play is in fact dangerous unless you REALLY know what you are doing (for example asphyxiation).

Even though I have over 10 years experience in electro play EVERY TIME I use a new unit I make sure to familiarize myself with the tool before I bring it into a pro session.

I hate one time clients - I am lucky because most of mine are repeats. I believe this is because I am HONEST about what I have experience in and what I personally like to do. I make sure to effectively communicate with clients ahead of time to make sure we are not wasting each other's time.

(in reply to Wheldrake)

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RE: Pro-Domme question - not just a general complaint - 11/16/2011 8:12:04 PM

MsKateNebraska

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/16/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953

There's something I've been noticing more and more often lately. In browsing Domme profiles I'm noticing several women who demand tribute for their service (which I agree can be a legitimate service) but have either a long list of limits or a short list of things they're willing to do ("No sissys I hate sissys!!!" etc). Basically, they're looking to satisfy their own fetishes rather than their client's, but still want the client to pay for it. Does anyone else think there is something wrong with that? If you're charging for your services, shouldn't you be focusing on the clients wants/needs rather than your own? And if you're a pro, shouldn't you be willing to tolerate some things you don't necessarily enjoy, since it's a job not a relationship?

Sorry if I'm missing out on something, I know I'm probably gonna get flamed for this... I just wanted to know how the D-type women felt about this.

I make every potential client (even one-timers) fill out an info sheet before I even think about setting something up with them. If we have particular kinks in common, then it's a go. If they are too far "out there" or don't really match up with me, I refer them on to someone else. I do pay attention to their interests, and have in fact been told many, many, (seriously, many) times that I'm "the best." When I've asked why, they say because the vast majority of other Dommes they've visited are completely selfish and in it only for themselves. So apparently you're not too far off, as far as what is available out there. I do consider the "Pro" side of what I do to be a business. That doesn't mean I will do anything, but it does mean that because they are paying for a service, I am allowing some control to come from them as far as play. Most of the time, they don't even so much realize they have had some control over their session, because I plan it based off the information they give me ahead of time, and when they arrive, we get right to business. However, doing this professionally is more about something different and fun for me, than that I depend on it to pay my bills. I think that makes a difference... it allows me to pick and choose with whom I want to spend my time, and whether I feel like indulging a particular kink, or not.

On the personal side of things, however, it IS about Me much more than about My slaves. They ARE here to serve Me, they have committed themselves to Me, and I depend on them to follow through on that commitment. It doesn't mean I never think about them and what makes them happy, but there is a vast, vast difference in how I approach it.

(in reply to hangemhigh1953)

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RE: Pro-Domme question - not just a general complaint - 11/17/2011 12:20:26 PM

MistressRouge

Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline

Why would I share My time and energy on someone that isnt compatible with My interests?

I only accept those that are compatible professionally, and I most certainly turn away those that are not for Me and visa versa I am not for them.

I can think of nothing worse, then going through the motions with someone whose interests dont align with My own.

Believe it or not, its not all about the hourly rate!

quote:

ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953
Basically, they're looking to satisfy their own fetishes rather than their client's, but still want the client to pay for it.

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RE: Pro-Domme question - not just a general complaint - 11/17/2011 1:28:14 PM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
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The first few ladies brought up some really good points but if I can throw another one in here....would you(you being any man reading profiles) like it better if we said we will do whatever you want for the right price. I have no issue admitting there are only about four things on the planet you couldn't pay me to do and none of them have to do with bdsm. But as far as kink goes if it is something I hate doing I'll do it anyway if you come up with a very large, and I do mean LARGE, amount of money. I ask because I am rather sure men would get just as annoyed if someone said that yes they would do something but that the guy in question can't afford them.

ETA- because I read the rest of the comments hahaha.

< Message edited by MissImmortalPain -- 11/17/2011 1:30:59 PM >

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: Pro-Domme question - not just a general complaint - 11/17/2011 1:49:45 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953

There's something I've been noticing more and more often lately. In browsing Domme profiles I'm noticing several women who demand tribute for their service (which I agree can be a legitimate service) but have either a long list of limits or a short list of things they're willing to do ("No sissys I hate sissys!!!" etc). Basically, they're looking to satisfy their own fetishes rather than their client's, but still want the client to pay for it. Does anyone else think there is something wrong with that? If you're charging for your services, shouldn't you be focusing on the clients wants/needs rather than your own? And if you're a pro, shouldn't you be willing to tolerate some things you don't necessarily enjoy, since it's a job not a relationship?

Sorry if I'm missing out on something, I know I'm probably gonna get flamed for this... I just wanted to know how the D-type women felt about this.

Just because you run a business does not automatically mean you have to make the success of the business your priority. Imagine you own a shop. You can sell every kind of merchandise there is, you can just choose to sell the ones you like, or the ones easy for you to get, or the ones that people you want to sell to want to buy. The only difference that'll make is how much business your shop gets. So if you want to sell meat for example in a neighbourhood of vegetarians, there is nothing right or wrong about it, you're just not going to get a lot of business. Which could be fine by you if you don't want to sell to vegetarians, or if you don't care if your shop makes as much money as the shop next door that sells vegetables.

But I think also, it's a bit of a marketing techniques. Some people who choose to see Pros want to feel that the Pro they're seeing aren't going to just cater to everything anyone wants, it helps build the fantasy that the Pro they're seeing truly deeply enjoys what she's doing to them.

(in reply to hangemhigh1953)

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Post #: 25