RE: what do you do when a dom wants $

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: what do you do when a dom wants $

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 5/27/2006 2:42:07 PM

ShivaTS

Posts: 132
Joined: 2/4/2006
Status: offline

Did she say why she wanted money? I've been with my Master for 3 months and it became clear that he needed a truck to take his toys too and from play parties, so I bought one for him to use. Now he's hosting a campout in a month, so I am working massive amounts of overtime to suprise him with a trailer so he wont have to tent it.

I'm not giving these things to him, just buying them for him to use, which is why I asked why she needed it.

_____________________________

"Master guide me. Master teach me. Master protect me. In your light I thrive. In your mercy I am sheltered. In your wisdom I am humbled. I live only to serve. I am yours."

(in reply to LadyAlexa)

Post #: 21

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 5/28/2006 3:43:22 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

totalservant,

Good lord, boi, you really asked this question?
Either pay Her and find out, or move on.

TexasMaam

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to totalservant)

Post #: 22

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 5/29/2006 10:27:34 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

Although there is some truth to the comment "weeding out the freeloaders", there are lots of ways to do that other than demanding money up front for further correspondence, phone, meeting, whatever.
I don't even use the term "freeloader" and find it distasteful.
However, I am going to bring up something I have not seen addressed yet in this threead.
Here is your profile, as it stands at this moment:

quote:

Having travelled all over the world, having been successfull in my life and having no need to work, since I have accomplished financial freedom, I am now looking to do what I really enjoy and please others. I am seeking a couple or a Mistress to serve, either part time, or for a short or very long period.

Do you think it possible you might just be asking for this sort of response? I really don't want to give you a hard time here, but I see profiles similar to this, or emails with this flavor, and I find that very distasteful also. I immediately feel like a boy is throwing out the impression that he is going to get a better response because he has money. In other words, what is the purpose of proclaiming your lack of a need to work, and you financial freedom if not to impress and share that (financial freedom, that is) with a potential FemDom? When you blare out that sort of message from the get go, you will probably get more than your fair share of the "paypal gals".

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to totalservant)

Post #: 23

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 5/29/2006 1:19:25 PM

Newbiehere

Posts: 1
Joined: 2/10/2006
Status: offline

This is becoming a problem. Have gotten emails from men saying dominate women telling them to pay and the women never see them. Look out for the words "to weed out the free loaders" its happening a lo in Ohio and Michigan

(in reply to LadyAlexa)

Post #: 24

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/3/2006 9:41:46 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

Interestingly enough.....this is one of the reasons, I'm sure, that women feel they need to test the boys.

The OP slipped and made a comment to this thread under the name onemajordomo, and yet, started the thread under the name totalservant.
It was clear to me by his writing style and age/height/weight/location that he was the same person.

I have one name and one identity here. Not sure why he feels the need to possess several names and play the switchup.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to onemajordomo)

Post #: 25

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/3/2006 12:20:15 PM

MsPyrena

Posts: 6
Joined: 6/1/2006
Status: offline

Do not fork over any money. Under no circumstances. Even if a Dominant does not make a request for money do not offer it unless she is a Pro and terms of service have been agreed upon.

The sugesstion to donate to charity is a GREAT idea.

I had a sub who wanted to submitt to Me (personal slave) that I did not take seriously because of his lack of actions. he stated he was willing to give Me money to continue the realtionship. I told him if you are really serious, come with Me to the homeless shelter and donate two days, eight hours each.

he did! and he does several times a year....his choice not Mine.

he's been a good boy every since.

(in reply to LadyAlexa)

Post #: 26

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/3/2006 12:55:45 PM

iliv2servher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ADomDoc

quote:

ORIGINAL: totalservant
Her comment is 'to weed out the freeloaders'. She has not even given any show of who she really is (except 1 picture on her profile). By getting some $ she feels you are interested.

That's just fucking absurd! Send flowers or candy if she wants a token! But if YOU want a hooker ... more power to you! And, I don't differentiate between pro Dommes & hookers ... except that, at least you get to fuck the hooker. With the proDomme, you just get a tease. To each his own.

I would never even consider sending any form of tribute to anyone who just happened to have an ad on a Website.

Back in the days when I used to frequent professionals for dominance, I usually would never tip, but if the domme really impressed me as a person who was trying to give me what I payed for, I would usually send her a token...something that I picked out especially for her at a S&M boutique. It was likely something that cost at least $100 (which was a lot of money back in the 1980s).

I would never go on a shopping spree (credit cards in hand) with someone I did not know. However, if this was someone I was interested in, and there was a good chance that a close relationship might come out of it, I wouldn't have the slightest reservation about parting with my hard-earned money.

Dinners, lunches, flowers, etc. (even a nominally-priced gift) do not, to my way of thinking, count as tribute.

-iliv2servHer

(in reply to ADomDoc)

Post #: 27

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/3/2006 7:28:50 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

I can see her point, but to me the logic is flawed.

There are far more creative, informative, and enjoyable ways for a Domme to test a submissives sincerity. I think that people tell you everything you need to know about them in the very first conversation, to me, she is telling you that she has a jaded outlook on submissives in general, is not very creative, and that she has some trust issues.

Oh yeah, and that she equates money with sincerity, which is would be funny if it were not so sad.

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 6/3/2006 7:30:28 PM >

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to totalservant)

Post #: 28

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/3/2006 9:06:36 PM

Carameldomme

Posts: 65
Joined: 11/8/2004
Status: offline

That is a perfect solution.
I think I'll adopt it for myself...
Now to find a charity that will provide immediate proof of a donation.. ideas?

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 29

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/4/2006 8:16:35 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carameldomme

That is a perfect solution.
I think I'll adopt it for myself...
Now to find a charity that will provide immediate proof of a donation.. ideas?

The trouble is that while the charity can give a receipt...the individual can dispute the charge on their credit card or through paypal and you'd never find out about it.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Carameldomme)

Post #: 30

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/4/2006 11:30:55 AM

Carameldomme

Posts: 65
Joined: 11/8/2004
Status: offline

That would be incredibly tacky..to dispute a $10 donation to the red cross...
There *must* be a way...

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 31

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/5/2006 12:58:49 PM

darkcabaret

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline

Personally, I ask for tribute. However that tribute can be in any form. To me the biggest tribute is that they read far enough into my profile to see a particular item that I require in their initial contact message. If they get that right then the tribute is a small token. Primarly most Pro Domme's do it as a form of making sure that the submissive/slave is serious about wanting to pursue training, collaring, etc.

Now for someone to just out and out say money and that's it...well I would be VERY careful with that one especially with only one picture. Generally most will ask for some communication of some kind. I ask that they have a web cam if they want to speak to me. I have no problem giving further pictures or meeting on cam. So tell the Domme something like you will be happy to give to a charity of her choice or something small on an amazon or toy wishlist. That you will do this online during a webcam session. That way you get to actually see them, match it to the one pic, and have some form of communication. No harm no foul. If they aren't willing...move on baby.

Now that being said I know some will run to my profile LOL the pictures have been updated and are pending approval so they should be showing up soon. But if you ask *smiles* I'll do a webcam meeting.

*shrugs* but that's just me. Like I said if they aren't willing to do a cam meeting or more pics or something like that...move on.

Just my two cents.

(in reply to LadyAlexa)

Post #: 32

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/6/2006 11:49:00 AM

GoddesssJane

Posts: 7
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline

I also ask for a tribute after speaking with someone, but that IS to prove they are serious. That being said, I AM into FS, and I have hundreds of slaves contact me, wasting MY time and energy.
If a slave IS into financial slavery/paypig/cashcow or whatever...this it IS quite normal.
And yes, giving out credit card info, bank account info ect IS part of the *game*
Different stokes for different folks so please don't be too harsh

(in reply to darkcabaret)

Post #: 33

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/8/2006 8:54:21 PM

voelkel

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline

In reply to GoddessDustyRose:(and others)
I have often included information about my financial independence in profiles for the purpose of letting people know that I have time to devote to them and that I will not be a burden on their finances. I have had few responses suggesting that I provide "tribute" and would never do so. I have had more responses from women of independence and means who have underlying concern that they will become involved with a man who is unable to take care of himself or have sufficient time to serve their needs and demands. For that reason, I continue to advertise my independence. The larger problem I find and have found is that many women evaluate the esteem in which you hold them by your willingness to fork over food, booze, airplane tickets, gifts, etc., rather than simply accepting the reverance and attention and eagerness to please you might provide. Buying you own toys is only common sense. Paying money out in order to please a woman, domme or otherwise is to fill a bottomless pit of neediness, because there can never be enough to satisfy that sort of need to be appreciated, in my opinion. Giving gifts, providing meals, transportation can be rewarding to the giver and the reciever, but if not for both, is simply disrespect, manipulation and certainly not valuing or being valued.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 34

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/8/2006 8:57:22 PM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

my first reaction to this question is to strongly suggest the Dominant get a job...but that's just me

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to voelkel)

Post #: 35

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/9/2006 6:36:17 AM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

my first reaction to this question is to strongly suggest the Dominant get a job...but that's just me

what? are you serious? lol It ain't about that mike.

I own my own businesses, my own homes, etc. etc. I don't need anyone to pay my bills, however I also don't want my time wasted or anyone riding my coat tails. I ask for tribute and expect gifts. If someone has a problem with this then they shouldn't contact me. Still, many people know me and know that I'm serious about the lifestyle. I would be careful with women who pop out of no-where and expect money.

< Message edited by DiannaVesta -- 6/9/2006 6:41:15 AM >

_____________________________

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Post #: 36

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/9/2006 7:00:28 PM

HayaSierra

Posts: 119
Joined: 4/7/2005
From: In Georgia
Status: offline

Greetings,

While I demand sincerity and effort I do not require money. Especially not before someone really is mine, and usually not even after they are mine. Those who voluntarely would like to make gifts are a different thing, but it's so little a focus I do not even have a wishlist. Of course, once someone stays with me longer than a few days, or moves in with me I expect some form of help with the household -- that is only normal -- but I don't expect people who do not know me to give me their hard earned money. Especially not to apply for a chance to see if they match me and what I am offering.

Now I won't condem those who do such, especially if they have been burned before, or if they specifically state such in their profiles. However, I think differently for myself. After all -- back in the day when one bought a slave on an auction -- they came with nothing but their clothes on their back, and it was their work and effort AFTER they got owned that counted, as well as the skills and talents and characters they had before they were owned. No one came with wads of money.

As such, even in modern times I have to be prepared to work with all types of people, the poor and the well to do and I won't gain most of the rewards of someone who is serving me until they come and live or stay with me for a while. Before that occurs, I usually will have paid, just like I would have during an auction, but not with money, but rather with my effort and work in training them, bonding with them and building trust with them. Someone who is willing to sincerely serve and be mine is worth so much more to me than the money they might be bringing or having with them -- that is where my reward will come in :).

As for other's comments here, exellent idea with the charity, and the writing of the story was also a wonderful idea of how to show sincerity. Services like that are worth more than 1000 checks to me :).

As for the one who said "Get a job" -- I and many other Dominants have one. As for me and mine, I'm still sick....drat it all, missing yet another day of work and not happy about it. Fevers and computers mix, fevers and 7 inch heels and elevated stages do not. *grumbles about it a bit* . But even so, I still won't put a notice saying you have to tribute me, but that as stated above is just me. :P

_____________________________

Haya Sierra
Haya Of Ka Azdor Estate --
http://groups.msn.com/Domsub/
Basic Information about the Hanian System of D/s

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

Post #: 37

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/9/2006 9:06:57 PM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

my first reaction to this question is to strongly suggest the Dominant get a job...but that's just me

what? are you serious? lol It ain't about that mike.

I own my own businesses, my own homes, etc. etc. I don't need anyone to pay my bills, however I also don't want my time wasted or anyone riding my coat tails. I ask for tribute and expect gifts. If someone has a problem with this then they shouldn't contact me. Still, many people know me and know that I'm serious about the lifestyle. I would be careful with women who pop out of no-where and expect money.

i think someone used too much MiracleGrow here, because "Pros" are popping up here like weeds. so much for a beautiful garden this season...LOL

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

Post #: 38

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/10/2006 12:14:35 AM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: totalservant

Her comment is 'to weed out the freeloaders'. She has not even given any show of who she really is (except 1 picture on her profile). By getting some $ she feels you are interested.

I disagree. By getting some $ she feels you are an easy mark.

(in reply to totalservant)

Post #: 39

RE: what do you do when a dom wants $ - 6/10/2006 12:36:42 AM

vield

Posts: 354
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Like anything else, if someone is selling what you want, you can afford it, and you are both willing, I feel it is your business.
If a male or female dom or sub makes a business of vending their services, that is between them and their customers. This can be a job career for many people.
Don't spend the rent money on entertainment (this or other) and keep the kids fed.
If a potential partner one meets on the internet asks for $ and you are not interested, just say no.
I do know dominants who are not pros who will require a potential partner to make a charitable donation as a test of the person's seriousness and dedication.
Most legitimate charities will give receipts. You will have to wait sometimes for snail mail to deliver this, which can be another test.
There certainly are people out there who wish to relieve us of our $ without providing anything in return, and I feel these are thieves, not dominants (or submissives).
Real professional dominants and submissives provide valuable service to the BD/SM community and they earn their pay.
As always, your mileage may vary.
Vield

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: what do you do when a dom wants $

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094