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RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 2:17:22 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Stella, welcome back.

With all due respect, SailingBum, you have no clue what you're talking about. The fact that you're injecting random crap about your service and Einstein into a discussion about sexual identity is an indication. My sub is a transgender and I won't claim to understand it, but she sure as hell does.

For example, I never understood is how powerful the drive is to associate with another gender identity. I am happy being a man and, had I been born female, I would have been content with that. A TG has to be willing to go through a LOT, including frequently alienation of family and friends, and loss of previous identity. (And simply the sexual reassignment surgery alone can run $25K.) I can't imagine wanting it that much.

ETOX123, I'm going to give you some advice which you may not appreciate.

1. Develop some new friends, those that understand you. From the sounds of that party, I think you're already doing that.
2. Reconsider your ties to your family. Sorry to be this blunt, but if all of your other siblings are whores and abusers, your upbringing can't have been that stellar.
3. Decide in the next few years. My sub is one of very few MtFs that transitioned when she was almost late in life and had it looking good. And she had to contend with fallout from her spouse and two kids. The earlier you do it, the more effect the HRT will have, and of course, the longer life you will have ahead of you.

Good luck.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to stellauk)

Post #: 141

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 2:23:49 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

yea know suffice to say 16 million yes million Americans served in WW 2 so yes courage under fire is quite common. You still dont get it your story about how difficult it is to be whatever it is that you are was real easy compared to what others have gone through. What you fail to understand is that most ppl suck it up and shine in the face of adversity and there is ppl like you who complain about how difficult you life is.

By choice I dont hang out with the ppl that are "poor me my life is difficult". Guess what stella life can be tuff and demanding it's all in how you deal with it. And for you to compare your in your words hard life to my life when you have no clue what my life is about is baseless. So I chose to give you a clue about my life. Some ppl look for the best in everything and others find fault with why it's not "going their way"

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to stellauk)

Post #: 142

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 2:42:04 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

I just want to point out that people are jumping on Hannah because she clearly thinks her way is the only way, and the fact that she keeps attacking me and other through repetitive swearing and degradation. I'm not spineless, far from it. I've come out to most of my friends and family. My parents are the only ones left and I keep it secret because I'm not interested in hurting them. They believe I am the only one of their children that turned out normal, held down a job, and will essentially be the American dream. So yes, okay, I'm afraid. I'm afraid of seeing the look in their eyes when they realized that their older children were wife beaters and whores, and then their youngest child is a transgender. I'm afraid of seeing them crushed because of something that they cannot fully comprehend. Maybe if I didn't have a soul I would have no problem with it, or maybe if I thought they had the capacity to handle it or change their way of thinking. The simple truth here is that they don't, and while I wish they could know me, they can't. I made that decision, and every family member I've come out to says the same thing.

You so dont get it ... I have not and will not tell my parents that I like to smack bitches around. It's none of their biz. However if some one told them and they asked me about it. My response would be " ya know dad it's really no concern of yours". I don't care if they find out but it wont be from me.

As far as hanners goes she speaks her mind without much of a filter I embrace that in her. I think it would be very enjoiable to hang out and party with her.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to ETOX123)

Post #: 143

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 2:47:56 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

I just want to point out that people are jumping on Hannah because she clearly thinks her way is the only way, and the fact that she keeps attacking me and other through repetitive swearing and degradation.

No, that's just Hannah being Hannah. She's always like that, even when she's being nice, she's not nice. Most of the people on here have learned not to pay too much attention to the cursing and put-downs. If you stick around, you'll get used to it too. It behooves you, however, to pay attention to what she says, as she generally has a very clear and realistic view of things, and in all honesty, is not often wrong.

And as far as insisting that her way is the only way, well how does that differ from you? You came here and asked for advice, and have rejected just about all of it because it isn't what you want to hear. If you're looking for a pity party, you came to the wrong place, we don't do those here. Too many sadists I suppose.

Well, since you did ask for advice, here's my advice. Suck it up. You screwed up royally, and there is probably nothing you can do about it. You can go along with the blackmailer, or you can tell her to get stuffed. If you chose the latter, then its out of your hands. If the blackmailer does follow through with her threats, oh well, that's the way the cookie crumbles. If you didn't want pictures of you in a dress to get back to your parents, then you shouldn't have sent them out to a stranger online. But you did.

There really is no advice we can give you other than what was said on the first page. Call the cops, and accept that your secret is most probably now out. You have been dragged out of the closet against your will. That's truly unfortunate, but please don't ask me for sympathy, because it is entirely your fault you find yourself in this position.

And stop whining and making excuses and complaining that we are attacking you. We're not, we're giving you advice. The only advice worth getting.

You're 26 now, time to put aside little boy things and be a man. You fucked up, so suck it up, man up, and deal.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to ETOX123)

Post #: 144

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 2:51:20 AM

ETOX123

Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

I just want to point out that people are jumping on Hannah because she clearly thinks her way is the only way, and the fact that she keeps attacking me and other through repetitive swearing and degradation.
No, that's just Hannah being Hannah. She's always like that, even when she's being nice, she's not nice. Most of the people on here have learned not to pay too much attention to the cursing and put-downs. If you stick around, you'll get used to it too. It behooves you, however, to pay attention to what she says, as she generally has a very clear and realistic view of things, and in all honesty, is not often wrong.

And as far as insisting that her way is the only way, well how does that differ from you? You came here and asked for advice, and have rejected just about all of it because it isn't what you want to hear. If you're looking for a pity party, you came to the wrong place, we don't do those here. Too many sadists I suppose.

Well, since you did ask for advice, here's my advice. Suck it up. You screwed up royally, and there is probably nothing you can do about it. You can go along with the blackmailer, or you can tell her to get stuffed. If you chose the latter, then its out of your hands. If the blackmailer does follow through with her threats, oh well, that's the way the cookie crumbles. If you didn't want pictures of you in a dress to get back to your parents, then you shouldn't have sent them out to a stranger online. But you did.

There really is no advice we can give you other than what was said on the first page. Call the cops, and accept that your secret is most probably now out. You have been dragged out of the closet against your will. That's truly unfortunate, but please don't ask me for sympathy, because it is entirely your fault you find yourself in this position.

And stop whining and making excuses and complaining that we are attacking you. We're not, we're giving you advice. The only advice worth getting.

You're 26 now, time to put aside little boy things and be a man. You fucked up, so suck it up, man up, and deal.

What advice have I rejected exactly? I investigated and got help from another CM member. If you'd read through this thread you would know that. I came to a conclusion, and though I didn't share it, I can assure you the danger has passed. What did I do wrong? You're attacking me for something I didn't even do. I didn't reject any advice, in fact over the course of the discussion I made it clear that I have come out to a number of family members, and whether or not I come out to my parents? That's just none of your damn business now is it?

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 145

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 2:54:37 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Stella, welcome back.

With all due respect, SailingBum, you have no clue what you're talking about. The fact that you're injecting random crap about your service and Einstein into a discussion about sexual identity is an indication. My sub is a transgender and I won't claim to understand it, but she sure as hell does.

For example, I never understood is how powerful the drive is to associate with another gender identity. I am happy being a man and, had I been born female, I would have been content with that. A TG has to be willing to go through a LOT, including frequently alienation of family and friends, and loss of previous identity. (And simply the sexual reassignment surgery alone can run $25K.) I can't imagine wanting it that much.

ETOX123, I'm going to give you some advice which you may not appreciate.

1. Develop some new friends, those that understand you. From the sounds of that party, I think you're already doing that.
2. Reconsider your ties to your family. Sorry to be this blunt, but if all of your other siblings are whores and abusers, your upbringing can't have been that stellar.
3. Decide in the next few years. My sub is one of very few MtFs that transitioned when she was almost late in life and had it looking good. And she had to contend with fallout from her spouse and two kids. The earlier you do it, the more effect the HRT will have, and of course, the longer life you will have ahead of you.

Good luck.

Dark I like and respect the post of yours that Ive read. With that said you really dont know what your talking about. WOW random crap ehh. What part of my posts dont you understand? Surly not the part about getting shot at being easier than some mental masturbation of considering becoming TG. <remember she called me out how hard her life is>

Who know maybe it was the part where I said many ppl have accomplished great things by their mid 20's and poster on here are still worrying about telling their parents...whatfucking ever.

What part dont you get.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 146

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 3:00:22 AM

ETOX123

Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline

1. I started this thread because I was being blackmailed and I needed to know the best way to handle it, whether that meant coming out clean, or trying to stop the blackmailer.

2. I have not told my parents, and I stated my reasons.

3. I did not start this thread so I could be constantly attacked regarding my hesitation to tell my parents about my sexuality. This was simply about the blackmail situation.

4. Taking 3 into account, I wasn't whining, or complaining.

5. Mental masturbation? Really?

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 147

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 3:09:49 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

Neither Stella or Etox have indicated any *poor me*. They've just spoken about their situation and experience.....just as you did.

Comparing your experiences with killing people in a war with the problems that people post and talk about on CM is really overkill.

There's ALWAYS someone somewhere who's worse off, who's had worse trauma to go through than ourselves but that's utterly irrelevent and pointless.

agirl

_____________________________

See how easy it can be?

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 148

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 3:14:00 AM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

No, that's just Hannah being Hannah. She's always like that, even when she's being nice, she's not nice. Most of the people on here have learned not to pay too much attention to the cursing and put-downs. If you stick around, you'll get used to it too.

Why should anyone "get used to it". That's your sorry excuse for her juvenile and tactless behaviour? You treat her like the spoiled princess her actions portray her to be. According to you, everyone should just "get used to it". Heaven forbid she should actually conduct herself with a modicum of decorum - ever.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

It behooves you, however, to pay attention to what she says, as she generally has a very clear and realistic view of things, and in all honesty, is not often wrong.

And those times where she might not be wrong, are those times where her view is plain common sense. Is common sense something so terribly out of the ordinary that it's to be celebrated and fawned over as if she is the only one who could possibly provide it? Maybe that's how you see it, considering how enamoured of her you are.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

Well, since you did ask for advice, here's my advice. Suck it up. You screwed up royally, and there is probably nothing you can do about it. You can go along with the blackmailer, or you can tell her to get stuffed. If you chose the latter, then its out of your hands. If the blackmailer does follow through with her threats, oh well, that's the way the cookie crumbles. If you didn't want pictures of you in a dress to get back to your parents, then you shouldn't have sent them out to a stranger online. But you did.

There really is no advice we can give you other than what was said on the first page. Call the cops, and accept that your secret is most probably now out. You have been dragged out of the closet against your will. That's truly unfortunate, but please don't ask me for sympathy, because it is entirely your fault you find yourself in this position.

And stop whining and making excuses and complaining that we are attacking you. We're not, we're giving you advice. The only advice worth getting.

You're 26 now, time to put aside little boy things and be a man. You fucked up, so suck it up, man up, and deal.

You call that advise? I suggest you look that word up in the dictionary because it isn't. It's just another example of your mean-spirited attitude.

_____________________________

ExiledTyrant's groupie. Catering to his ego since May 26, 2007. :D

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 149

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 3:15:27 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

Surly not the part about getting shot at being easier than some mental masturbation of considering becoming TG.

This statement reflects where some of us are having a problem with your posts, Sailor.

No is saying get shot at or being in war is easy. Without knowing you that well I think I can safely say you learned who you *really* were, and though your experiences were dreadful, they did make a man of you, so to speak.

No one, not even Stella, is thinking this young man needs a pity party. But that doesn't mean that he hasn't been given some harsh things to deal with in his life.

Because you clearly don't understand the difficulties of being transgendered. It's not "considering becoming TG" so that you can get your kink on. There is no considering, you are or you're not. And if you are, I would think much of your life was a living hell until you found some personal acceptance.

As your statement so clearly shows, most people are incredibly ignorant about the transgendered.

It's about the core of who you are. It's about being born in the wrong body, and not understanding why or who or what you are. It's about struggling with acceptance within yourself. And then hoping and praying that those you love don't reject you because they don't understand.

You get to put your past history behind you, just as I get to put my difficult past behind me. This young man doesn't have that luxury. He gets to deal with it every danged day of his life, in one way or another.

As I have said before, considering what all he has on his plate, I think he's doing great.

But I'm absolutely good with agreeing to disagree on this issue.

_____________________________

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 150

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 3:22:50 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

I just want to say: You rock !!

_____________________________

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 151

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 3:23:39 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

whether or not I come out to my parents? That's just none of your damn business now is it?

I didn't say you should or shouldn't, I don't give an ounce of dog crap if you do or not, nor do I give an ounce of dog crap if your life is ruined by this blackmailer, in fact, I don't give an ounce of dog crap about you.

You asked for my advice, I gave it, and you're rejecting it. whining about being attacked. Let me quote from Bad One's sig line.

quote:

Legal stuff. Don't whine/complain about my advice. First I don't care. 2nd Like it or not YOU asked for it!

Now go live your life, find what joy you can, and for the love of all that is holy, stop whining and playing the victim. Grow up and be the woman you want to be.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to ETOX123)

Post #: 152

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 3:24:29 AM

submaleinuk

Posts: 19
Joined: 10/12/2011
Status: offline

I'd say use this as a lesso to get out of the bdsm world, controlling people are insecure at best, and your just as bad for giving them power over you, do you really want to mix with people who are unable to show love? Think about it.

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 153

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 3:26:34 AM

ETOX123

Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

whether or not I come out to my parents? That's just none of your damn business now is it?
I didn't say you should or shouldn't, I don't give an ounce of dog crap if you do or not, nor do I give an ounce of dog crap if your life is ruined by this blackmailer, in fact, I don't give an ounce of dog crap about you.

You asked for my advice, I gave it, and you're rejecting it. whining about being attacked. Let me quote from Bad One's sig line.

quote:

Legal stuff. Don't whine/complain about my advice. First I don't care. 2nd Like it or not YOU asked for it!

Now go live your life, find what joy you can, and for the love of all that is holy, stop whining and playing the victim. Grow up and be the woman you want to be.

Would you like to show me where exactly I've been whining?Also if I've been playing the victim, it's because you and the others like you in this thread decided to make me out to be the victim. Are you really this bored?

< Message edited by ETOX123 -- 11/10/2011 3:29:32 AM >

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 154

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 3:38:41 AM

stellauk

Posts: 1360
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

yea know suffice to say 16 million yes million Americans served in WW 2 so yes courage under fire is quite common. You still dont get it your story about how difficult it is to be whatever it is that you are was real easy compared to what others have gone through. What you fail to understand is that most ppl suck it up and shine in the face of adversity and there is ppl like you who complain about how difficult you life is.

No it's you who just doesn't get it here. I'm not taking anything away from your service or anything else and I will restate it, once again that you have my respect and admiration.

Only what you haven't mentioned is that those doing the fighting are generally well equipped, have gone through years of training, they have weapons, ammunition, and they have support.

If you want to talk about hard and difficult then why not pick a better example - the journalists and photographers and cameramen who are also out there on the front line without the weapons, the support or indeed much training doing what they can to get the facts and the story so people can get to know what is going on.

I won't even go on about intelligence services who get the information that the military relies on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

By choice I dont hang out with the ppl that are "poor me my life is difficult". Guess what stella life can be tuff and demanding it's all in how you deal with it. And for you to compare your in your words hard life to my life when you have no clue what my life is about is baseless. So I chose to give you a clue about my life. Some ppl look for the best in everything and others find fault with why it's not "going their way"

BadOne

Maybe less emotion here and better reading comprehension, eh? From my previous post.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stellauk

Whatever was difficult or traumatic has been dealt with.

I'm neither whining nor am I that pissed off. It just so happens that the OP (and potentially others) might just be facing a similar experience and may need some reassurance that even when it does go tits up arse end backwards and life falls apart there is always a way out and a chance to recover.

But I'll leave it there, because not only do you clearly not understand, you do not want to understand and if you're already pissed off by what I wrote I see little point in continuing this discussion with you.

Hoping something happens which makes you feel better.

_____________________________

Usually when you have all the answers for something nobody is interested in listening.

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 155

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 3:46:34 AM

ETOX123

Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline

....this is so not what I intended this thread to turn into.

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 156

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 3:48:04 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

quote:

Surly not the part about getting shot at being easier than some mental masturbation of considering becoming TG.

This statement reflects where some of us are having a problem with your posts, Sailor.

No is saying get shot at or being in war is easy. Without knowing you that well I think I can safely say you learned who you *really* were, and though your experiences were dreadful, they did make a man of you, so to speak.

No one, not even Stella, is thinking this young man needs a pity party. But that doesn't mean that he hasn't been given some harsh things to deal with in his life.

Because you clearly don't understand the difficulties of being transgendered. It's not "considering becoming TG" so that you can get your kink on. There is no considering, you are or you're not. And if you are, I would think much of your life was a living hell until you found some personal acceptance.

As your statement so clearly shows, most people are incredibly ignorant about the transgendered.

It's about the core of who you are. It's about being born in the wrong body, and not understanding why or who or what you are. It's about struggling with acceptance within yourself. And then hoping and praying that those you love don't reject you because they don't understand.

You get to put your past history behind you, just as I get to put my difficult past behind me. This young man doesn't have that luxury. He gets to deal with it every danged day of his life, in one way or another.

As I have said before, considering what all he has on his plate, I think he's doing great.

But I'm absolutely good with agreeing to disagree on this issue.

Ppl are not ignorant about TG typically it doesnt effect their lives so it doesnt hit their radar. So lets talk about the core for a moment. My entire life I was taught not to kill but yet here I am shooting um up like John Wayne. I'd be lying if I didnt say I struggled with it. Now let's discuses your point about history I guess you never heard of PTSD where soldiers relive the battle day in and day out. Clearly you don't understand the aspect of killing ppl over and over again and waking up knowing that you A will either get shot at. B. Knowing you will prolly have to use your weapon that day. Seeing the faces of the ppl you have killed wondering how their families are holding up if they had children. Seeing their brain explode. And then the guilt yes guilt from out coming out of the war alive. His shit doesn't even come close.

My point is everyone has harsh stuff in their lives. It's all in how you deal with it. That's what you and others fail to understand.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 157

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 3:49:44 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

One thing about posting a thread on an open forum, you get what you get.

Use what you can and discard the rest.

Ignore the petty sniping and childish crap, except when *I* do it, because *I* am always right.

Grand Mistress Poohba Chatte

_____________________________

(in reply to ETOX123)

Post #: 158

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 3:55:23 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Oh I understand how you play the hand you've been dealt in life is *everything.*

Hopefully this young man will learn that as well.

I just don't think he's going to learn it by berating him about being a whiner, and most especially from someone who is clearly quite ignorant of what he is dealing with.

BTW: You don't know me, you have no idea what my life has been like; your blanket statements about what I do or do not understand are insulting.

But as I said, I'm going to agree to disagree whether or not you are, this pissing match is OVAH.

_____________________________

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 159

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/10/2011 3:58:20 AM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

And no, I'm not going to get into a pissing match with you.

Nor I with you. There has never been anything other than the casual exchange between you and I.

_____________________________

ExiledTyrant's groupie. Catering to his ego since May 26, 2007. :D

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 160

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