Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 2:11:56 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Personally I don't care who knows my number, which I am sure will come as a disappointment to a certain obsessed member.

At least five women from CM, and one of the Admins has my number, and I really wouldn't have any problem giving it to just about anybody. But, then again, being what I am, I really doubt I need to worry about any fatal attraction scenarios.

On the flip side, I also have the numbers of those 5 women, and I do not believe I actually asked for the numbers, they were offered to me. Maybe this is because I am considered "safe", which is about as close to "Gay male friend" as a non gay guy can get.


_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to Epytropos)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 9:05:50 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		I recently made the grave mistake, my fault entirely, of giving out my cell # too quickly.  After telling the guy I wasn't interested I was bombarded with calls to my cell 12 to 15 times a day, with the occasional nasty rude message left about every 3rd call.  I was also bombarded on my e-mail account.  He'd never leave a c-mail, until the very last time, where he got even nastier.

Since swearing was the only thing he seemed to understand, then the return c-mail he got was exactly that.  Telling him in no uncertain terms that I was NOT his, had never agreed to be his, and after all the nastiness he'd sent my way, that I'd never be his.

I'm not able to block calls on my cell, since the company I deal with doesn't allow it.  I have to change my phone # and then let everyone know I've done so.  Which is more trouble than it's worth in the long run.  So I ignored his calls, and won't take any calls if the # shows as blocked or unknown.  If they want to leave a voice mail they can do so, and then I return the call.

And you can't do reverse directory on any cell phone #, at least not at this time.  They're not out there for general information.  Even an unlisted # won't show up for a home phone using the above method.  Because it's unlisted. 

I gave my # to P rather quickly, just after the nastiness of the other guy, but we'd be communicating as friends for over a year before we decided to take it to the next level.  I knew I could trust him, and this is partially how we communicate now, by text message since he also only has a cell phone and pay as you go at that.  We don't often speak in person, we're l/d, but we communicate effectively and honestly with each other.  I made the right call, so to speak, with P and am glad I did so.


_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to Ishtarr)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 10:39:45 AM   
alexislave4u


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/31/2010
Status: offline 		Its rather annoying when someone asks for number immediately or within few days. Or sends their number in first contact. Usually within few messages u find reasons to discontinue talking to them. Most people aren't very patient here

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 11:34:29 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

A local pal posted elsewhere how she was all WTF because some dude wanted her phone number, as if it was something *nefarious*. She was getting general agreement.

Obviously, my reaction was Wha? How are you going to talk without a phone number? Staying online forever until you get a DNA sample?

So, friends and foes, what's up with this? Am I a crazy old stegosaurus for exchanging numbers with someone I like well enough to want to TALK TO IN REAL TIME? Is it insane to give out my email address? (or chat, back when I did that...)

I am of the mind that the internet is all well and good, but if the person passes my initial "is he a douche" scan, I want to TALK to them, not endlessly exchange cmail. If I make a date, I want to have that person's number, and them mine---what if we get stuck in traffic, or get lost?

Trust v. paranoia.

Discuss.




Personally, I think that getting asked for one's number can be bad, annoying, etc depending on when the person asks. Lord knows I've gotten enough wank-mail that wants to exchange numbers right away, before anything at all.

But on to the general exchange of phone numbers:

I don't give my number to anyone I haven't met and want to go further with. It's not that I never want to speak in real life -it's that I want to SPEAK IN REAL LIFE. Phone calls, in my opinion, before you've met the person are the same as emails; only difference is they can bother you more often and immediately.

If things are going well in email I like to actually go ahead and meet the person.

Additionally, I HATE talking on the phone. Cannot stand it. The only people I hold conversations on the phone with are my mother (if the woman could figure out email or texts, I'd be happier and use those) and my husband when he's deployed (because it's nice to hear his voice once every so often). When my husband is at home and with anyone else, the phone is purely used for making doctors appointments and to give important messages and that's all, no chitter chatter.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 11:47:49 AM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline 		I have had a real time stalker before who knew my home address and used to watch me while I was at work and shopping in town.  He thought it was okay to break in and hurt me whenever he wanted, as well as phoning me daily.  This was when I lived in California, right before the anti-stalking laws went into effect. 

Some of us have a good reason to feel cautious.

My computer cannot handle Skype.  My primary phone is a landline where someone could do a reverse lookup and get my full name and address.  To talk briefly with people over the internet before having a meetup, and in case of an emergency as well as to use for safe calls, I use a Trak phone.  My budget allows for one $40 card every two or three months. 

I try to keep calls to less than five minutes, or else some of the fellas start grunting and moaning after ten to fifteen minutes.  (At least those calls saved me the trouble of a meetup.)

I prefer to meet someone within the first two weeks.  Just a public meetup.  This is to avoid forming an inappropriate attachment to someone I have never met.  Not that this always helps.  Exchanging letters with someone here at CM, with no IM and no phone conversations, made me form an attachment anyway.   By the time we met he was already mine.

More than half a dozen people from the message boards have my home phone number...friends I have not met in person yet.  Dating is different from this.  Friends don't usually phone so they can wank off...also, since I live in a small town I do not hand out my home phone to a bottom or sub until he has put his life into my hands.  Handing out my home phone number with every second letter would have left me wide open to being...blackmailed into topping a lot of horny guys.  My son is over 21 now, so I don't have much to worry about, but still I try not to endanger him with every Tom, Dick, or Harry I talk with online.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 12:06:19 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I feel have to take at least some risks in order to get what I want. I haven't, so far, regretted private information that I've given out. Not at CM, anyway.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 12:11:47 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I stalk slowly, Darling.

~
I've only had cause to worry about one person, ever. If anyone else tried anything, well, I love offering the police real crimes. I have a large support system. I am still going to take calculated risks.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 12:43:42 PM   
lthrpup


Posts: 125
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline 		You can get a free Google Voice telephone number that is as anonymous as a gmail address.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 12:45:03 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		How does that work, lthrpup? Through the computer?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to lthrpup)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 12:51:53 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Seriously people, you really are not ALL THAT


Yes I am.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 1:29:09 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida


quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Seriously people, you really are not ALL THAT


Yes I am.

Well yeah. YOU are. She meant the others
luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 2:38:19 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		FR

I have a pay as you go mobile, not a contract. It's not attached to a name anywhere.

I've always given out my number pretty easily, if I'm interested in someone. I've always figured it would only take me five minutes to change my number if I had to.

I've never had to.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 2:47:28 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		In all the years since I've had the same phone number and allllllllllllll the people that I've given it to........not once have I ever felt like I should change my number. Hell, I've given people my personal email after one email exchange on CM based upon my gut instincts. The reason that's kind of a big deal.......my personal email account is my full name.

It would only take seconds to Google me and find out exactly where I live. Yet not one unwanted guest (aside from a few 4 legged pests) have come onto the property. Granted, I've got pretty good creep deterent.........between G.D., some whacko neighbours that actually like me, and three territorial 4 legged bitches. Not to mention the insane male deer I've been dealing with the last week or so. (I had one literally 'challenge' me in my car the night before last.....would not get out of the middle of the lane and stood there, stomping his foot and shaking his head. The funny part is that he was just a little guy with no real rack to speak of.)

I am not saying there are not creeps out there and I am not invalidating others' experiences. I just trust my instincts a great deal and the track record gives me reason to continue to. If I had different life experiences I would likely be more cautious. If I lived differently, that might also factor into it. A large part of the 10+ years we have lived on the farmette, G.D. has been away on military trips or otherwise. I've never been nervous being alone at home, even though it's pretty secluded.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 3:05:55 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

A local pal posted elsewhere how she was all WTF because some dude wanted her phone number, as if it was something *nefarious*. She was getting general agreement.

Obviously, my reaction was Wha? How are you going to talk without a phone number? Staying online forever until you get a DNA sample?

So, friends and foes, what's up with this? Am I a crazy old stegosaurus for exchanging numbers with someone I like well enough to want to TALK TO IN REAL TIME? Is it insane to give out my email address? (or chat, back when I did that...)

I am of the mind that the internet is all well and good, but if the person passes my initial "is he a douche" scan, I want to TALK to them, not endlessly exchange cmail. If I make a date, I want to have that person's number, and them mine---what if we get stuck in traffic, or get lost?

Trust v. paranoia.

Discuss.




LH, I think there is a difference between men and women and phone numbers. A lot of it depends on time, place and circumstances.

Over the years, i have always asked for the Lady's number, when we met in real life and talked. That always seemed to be proper etiquette, at least for us oldsters!

The Internet however is a different beast.

i have learned as a man, it is best to give my phone number first, as a token of sincerity. Then, if she wants to talk, she will return hers.

And this works fine.

If she doesn't eventually call or offer hers, i know its a waste of time. But typically, the token of sincerity is returned.

So as You might imagine, i have more than one phone number from a Lady i met on the Internet!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 3:06:41 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lthrpup

You can get a free Google Voice telephone number that is as anonymous as a gmail address.


Interesting. I'll have to look into that.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to lthrpup)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 3:11:05 PM   
Ninebelowzero


Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline 		I got a google mail account & it has a telephone thingy on it. I assume you can only call other Gmail users.

_____________________________

More come backs than Frank Sinatra

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 3:12:14 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

LH, I think there is a difference between men and women and phone numbers. A lot of it depends on time, place and circumstances.

Over the years, i have always asked for the Lady's number, when we met in real life and talked. That always seemed to be proper etiquette, at least for us oldsters! x


It's ironic how the 'mannerly thing to do' has changed over the years, isn't it? Once the man asked for a woman's number; now he'll offer his first. Me, if I get given a woman's number or address unprompted, I'll give mine in return. I don't like the thought of her getting at all edgy about the imbalance of info.


_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 3:20:25 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida


quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Seriously people, you really are not ALL THAT


Yes I am.

Darn. Can't argue with you there. Don't tell anyone though.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 3:26:07 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

LH, I think there is a difference between men and women and phone numbers. A lot of it depends on time, place and circumstances.

Over the years, i have always asked for the Lady's number, when we met in real life and talked. That always seemed to be proper etiquette, at least for us oldsters! x


It's ironic how the 'mannerly thing to do' has changed over the years, isn't it? Once the man asked for a woman's number; now he'll offer his first. Me, if I get given a woman's number or address unprompted, I'll give mine in return. I don't like the thought of her getting at all edgy about the imbalance of info.



Yes, indeed! Things do change, with technology driving it. Sometimes too fast!

Besides offering my phone number first (sometimes the listed one); i also have given my personal email address, which is my real name, too.

Although that is a select few ... i do that specifically because they can check, if they wish.

So yes, the Internet and manners are changing a lot!






< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 11/10/2011 3:27:12 PM >

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike - 11/10/2011 6:24:05 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		to luci & IrishMist.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Phone Numbers & Suchlike Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109