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are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/18/2011 1:30:41 AM

joker6067

Posts: 36
Joined: 11/17/2011
Status: offline

persea its a first time.....is "popping their cherry" an extra incentive that adds more fun to the equation...

or is it more of a great.....this person knows nothing and all the "work" is up to me...

I have Neither Dommed nor Subbed but am interested in both....

so to those of you that have "been the first" was it a giant pain in the ass....or did you like being the first?

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RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/18/2011 3:58:30 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

I don't really think it matters if it is a persons first time or not. As long as they don't let their perceptions of bdsm, as formed by porn literature or fantasy, lead them to assume that is how things actually happen.

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It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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Post #: 2

RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/18/2011 5:43:15 AM

Fornica

Posts: 2986
Status: offline

What she said.
It all depends on how much they have already decided in their heads..lol. Everyone has preconceived ideas, of course, and figuring out what works for your dynamic is fun and exciting..but it can be a PITA, yes.

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Post #: 3

RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/18/2011 8:35:37 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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I've been the "first" for more than a few people. It's a big deal to me because I want them to start off enjoying, AND knowing it's okay to say if they're not enjoying. It can be hard to get over preconceived notions that they should be stoic, or that it's bad to say no, or some such.

I had fun every time. Newbs that are actually interested in INTERACTION? Bring em on!

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RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/18/2011 11:46:48 AM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

What the other ladies have said.
I enjoy all sorts of sub men, experienced or not. I've introduced a few men to the pleasures of their ass, and gently but firmly popped some cherries. What's most important is that they're interested in exploring pleasure, and are not topping from the bottom.
Recently, a failed prospective sub told me to wreck his virgin ass with a massive dong and tear him a new one, even after I'd clearly explained that's not my style. So, he can shit blood on someone else's 600-count sheets and scream in the toilet at work when he tries to pass a deuce; not my fantasy OR reality.
I'm all about ass pleasure, not pain, and coming in both grateful nervous newbies and talented experienced subs' asses is delectable.

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"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

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Post #: 5

RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/18/2011 1:15:01 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Actually, I thought it was us domina's that were supposed to be the pain in the ass.

Men are men and it doesn't matter whether the ass cherry has been popped or not. If they can walk upright, speak without a forked tongue, are pleasant to be around, show some sign of intelligence and humor... they stand a chance with me.

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RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/18/2011 5:55:21 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Actually, I thought it was us domina's that were supposed to be the pain in the ass.

Men are men and it doesn't matter whether the ass cherry has been popped or not. If they can walk upright, speak without a forked tongue, are pleasant to be around, show some sign of intelligence and humor... they stand a chance with me.

Im stuck on the idea of why a Domme wouldnt like a forked tongue ?

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 7

RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/18/2011 5:57:47 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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ROFL!

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RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/18/2011 5:59:44 PM

Politesub53

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I love a happy smile Lockit.

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Post #: 9

RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/18/2011 6:07:40 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: joker6067

persea its a first time.....is "popping their cherry" an extra incentive that adds more fun to the equation...

or is it more of a great.....this person knows nothing and all the "work" is up to me...

I have Neither Dommed nor Subbed but am interested in both....

so to those of you that have "been the first" was it a giant pain in the ass....or did you like being the first?

What does "persea" mean?

(I've just read your post 3 times and frankly....my head's exploding).

(in reply to joker6067)

Post #: 10

RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/18/2011 6:16:16 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

to be honest I don't really remember a "first time" unless you're talking about sex and I was young and that was looong ago. Bdsmwise though...I mean what does that mean? First time someone tied you up? First time someone told you what to do? First time someone pulled your hair? I guess I don't know because it's just always been that way for me ever since I first became interested in boys.

I've never known anything else.

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RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/18/2011 6:54:00 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I think he meant per se.

It isn't the experience, it's the chemistry between you. If you only want to get your fetishes and fantasies to come to life, then it's going to be bad for the other person. Whether you have ten years of experience or none.

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Post #: 12

RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/18/2011 9:36:06 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Hello,

I do not mind novices (inexperienced new slaves) because I can mold and train them to be the best slave for Me and to serve Me the way I like. I have owned wonderful experienced slaves but I have also met some who are so set in their ways and had become selfish about being dominated in the way they like. "Do me this way, do it that way. I like this, I want that." Selfish demanding subs are quite a turn off. I welcome new inexperienced slaves who seek guidance from Me.

Hope this helps.

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http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

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Post #: 13

RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/18/2011 9:41:21 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Yes... pick her... or them... they are the most perfect domina's in the whole wide world! lol

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

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Post #: 14

RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/18/2011 9:58:16 PM

joker6067

Posts: 36
Joined: 11/17/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I think he meant per se.

It isn't the experience, it's the chemistry between you. If you only want to get your fetishes and fantasies to come to life, then it's going to be bad for the other person. Whether you have ten years of experience or none.

yeah "persea" was a bad typo

thank you all for your input :)

_____________________________

Well, I am the police, and I say, "Don't move" Snow White. You move, you're dead.

And I say, "I'm dead," and I move.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 15

RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/19/2011 5:32:34 AM

Fornica

Posts: 2986
Status: offline

Uh..yeah. Go pro! <facepalm>

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Yes... pick her... or them... they are the most perfect domina's in the whole wide world! lol

_____________________________

There is no spoon.

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Post #: 16

RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/20/2011 5:39:17 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

Nothing wrong with a novice. Sometimes it can be easier working with a tabula rosa than one with scads of experience, there's so much less to untrain.
Like so much else in BDSM, things have a whole lot less to do with ones experience level than ones attitude, willingness and mental approach

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(in reply to Fornica)

Post #: 17

RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/20/2011 8:53:10 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

I imagine any new relationship starts with both partners being inexperienced.
It isn't the quantity of all those deliciously deviant acts, but the person you
are experiencing them with that would make it special for me...or a pain in the ass.

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Post #: 18

RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/20/2011 7:22:59 PM

Succi

Posts: 23
Joined: 3/30/2010
Status: offline

Since I'm pretty non-trad as far as the "community" goes, I've taken to almost exclusively chasing virginal subs. They actually throw out fewer "oh, that's weird" comments xD Any subs I meet through other fetishists or sites like this have all their preconceptions about what a Domme "should" be, and I don't meet them. Most of them.

I also have a bit of a teacher-student dynamic to my relationships lining the whole bubble so that just works better in that case too.

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"Happiness is never grand"

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Post #: 19

RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? - 11/20/2011 7:32:57 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

I don't think it matters whether the sub is a total newbie or not, what matters more is the chemistry between the two people. I've played with total noobs and it was all cool and then I've talked with "previously extensively trained" subs, and it seemed like there was a lot of untraining that would need to be done with the experienced ones, to get rid of what the previous Domme trained into him, where the total noob was a blank slate that I could train the way I wanted to with comparative ease.

NBMG

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Post #: 20

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