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RE: Needing some guidance - 11/25/2011 9:49:36 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		WOW!

I read every line of every post, holding my breath, hoping for a good outcome for you.  Two full pages, and I can finally breathe again. LOL!

This might turn into a great short story, if I may.

At each and every post I wanted to say, "Please read the tag-line in my signature block."

If  I ever, ever take that line out of my sig block, it instantly disappears everywhere.  That makes me cut and paste it right here:

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

One last thing: You GO, girl!!!!

P.S. I'd be proud to have you a member of "Lance's Fag Hags"








< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 11/25/2011 9:51:45 PM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to CornbreadRed)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Needing some guidance - 11/26/2011 10:15:50 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CornbreadRed

Update:

I tried to chat with him to no avail. So, I removed him from my FB account.. and we dont talk anymore. I dont really understand other than I didnt have sex with him. Im gonna leave it at that..my guts were right not to have sex with him.

Good news? I got a nice leather jacket. Some would say his loss, my gain. Some would say small price to pay... whichever..

Thank you all for the advice. Life goes on.



I have to say I'm glad you didn't continue with him. It just seemed weird, nothing really glaringly overt, but the weirdness was there underneath and you knew it - which is why you questioned the situation. Things didn't add up across the board, having many of them add up was throwing you off from seeing how weird the ones that didn't add up were. I* mean you saw it and uneasy about it but then the other good stuff would kind of smooth it over. Anyway, glad things stopped so you didn't invest some real feeling into someone that wasn't right for you. Chalk it up to a learning experience and I hope the next one works out better!

(in reply to CornbreadRed)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Needing some guidance - 11/26/2011 10:46:33 AM   
housemouse22


Posts: 8
Joined: 11/23/2011
Status: offline 		Please do not reward this asshole with sex....oh good. You didn't.

< Message edited by housemouse22 -- 11/26/2011 10:48:51 AM >

(in reply to CornbreadRed)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Needing some guidance - 11/27/2011 12:59:33 PM   
CornbreadRed


Posts: 9
Joined: 11/18/2011
Status: offline 		LOL... no. No sex, that's probably a big part of why it didnt work out.

But thanks again for all the encouragement and sincere advice and wishes.
See, this is why I like this community. A willingness to be open and share life. Something he cant understand.

Thank you all again... and thank you Lance for thinking of me as a Fag Hag... lol..



(in reply to housemouse22)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Needing some guidance - 11/28/2011 11:55:04 AM   
MadamDouceVoix


Posts: 17
Joined: 11/23/2011
Status: offline 		Ours is still a very repressed lifestyle.
We shouldn't further (pardon the pun) enslave ourselves by settling for lackluster treatment or forcing ourselves to hide who we are or what we enjoy.
This man doesn't sound like a catch, he doesn't sound very mature or decisive and I'm a little perturbed as to why you would waste any of your time on him, doll.

That being said, I offer a seemingly archaic bit of advice: make a pros and cons list.
If the cons are overwhelming and comprise things that impinge on who you are as a person, the list would have made your decision for you.

_____________________________

Teeth like razors, mouth full of honey...
Always for the Love, sometimes for the money...
Voice to make you solid, blades to make you bleed...
Always for the Pleasure, never for the greed...

(in reply to CornbreadRed)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Needing some guidance - 11/28/2011 12:22:16 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadamDouceVoix

Ours is still a very repressed lifestyle.
We shouldn't further (pardon the pun) enslave ourselves by settling for lackluster treatment or forcing ourselves to hide who we are or what we enjoy.
This man doesn't sound like a catch, he doesn't sound very mature or decisive and I'm a little perturbed as to why you would waste any of your time on him, doll.

That being said, I offer a seemingly archaic bit of advice: make a pros and cons list.
If the cons are overwhelming and comprise things that impinge on who you are as a person, the list would have made your decision for you.


In most situations I'd agree with the advice of making a pro/con list. In this particular case, the pros seemed overwhelming, and the 1 or 2 cons were making the OP pause more than the entire list of pros. I do think she made the right choice by going with her gut and kind of forgoing pure logic. The guy seemed to fit well on paper, but in reality she was sensing something was off.  I know he seemed like he backed off but she could have pursued it more and she didn't, just accepted the graceful exit.

(in reply to MadamDouceVoix)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Needing some guidance - 11/28/2011 12:50:36 PM   
MadamDouceVoix


Posts: 17
Joined: 11/23/2011
Status: offline 		I agree, which is why I specified "comprise things that impinge on who you are as a person" because lord knows, even if the con's list is short, it should always be quality not quantity that colors decision making in this particular regard.

I'm happy, like you, that she accepted his gradual decline and used to opportunity to chuck him...last thing anyone needs is to spend forever trying to push a square peg into a round hole.

_____________________________

Teeth like razors, mouth full of honey...
Always for the Love, sometimes for the money...
Voice to make you solid, blades to make you bleed...
Always for the Pleasure, never for the greed...

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Needing some guidance - 11/28/2011 3:40:00 PM   
Mazterlock


Posts: 24
Joined: 11/28/2011
Status: offline 		This is not about you. This is a man with huge self-esteem problems that he is putting on you. You can't fix this. Don't let him pull you down. It's hard but start again. You deserve better.

(in reply to CornbreadRed)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Needing some guidance - 12/3/2011 7:22:17 PM   
Rectio


Posts: 13
Joined: 11/26/2011
Status: offline 		You answered your own question in your post pretty much.  You were the best he thinks he can get, and he's not thrilled about that.  I'd take him at his word when he says he thinks that you, and your D cup, are "ok".  If you're ok with being ok, ok, but if you're not ok with being just ok, you know what to do.  

(in reply to CornbreadRed)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Needing some guidance - 12/6/2011 4:12:14 AM   
gingerfire


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/15/2011
Status: offline 		run girly.. run as fast as you can...
heed the advice of the others.. its totally what i thought as soon as i read it!

you can do better... dont settle for just anyone...dont try to make yourself fit into this jigsaw...

(in reply to CornbreadRed)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Needing some guidance - 12/10/2011 4:04:25 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		Op he is a man whom has not grown up yet, to show you things about
other women, and then tell you he could of had this one or that one! 
Leave him alone, it is hurtful and he does not mean well towards you this
is my opinion!  No sex for him at all!

mons

(in reply to CornbreadRed)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Needing some guidance - 12/23/2011 3:57:43 PM   
Purple1974


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/12/2009
Status: offline 		All the signs point to this guy being a loser. I imagine he has low-self esteem issues since he is so quick to point out everyone's flaws.  You need to keep looking.

I've dated a lot and have dated a lot of the wrong ones. 

This guy needs to work on himself before even thinking about being with someone else!~

(in reply to CornbreadRed)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Needing some guidance - 12/23/2011 4:53:48 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Yes, the leather jacket was given to you in good faith to use from what you said not to keep lol it wasn't an engagement ring.

In the end the old saying comes to mind:  You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince sometimes.

Too bad you couldn't handle this in that you two became friends instead of just blowing it off.  Sometimes guys make sucky relationship people but can become great friends.  If you like a lot about him, then perhaps you can make a new friend and ask him that.   The only issue is that you don't fall into the psuedo relationship trying to be friends.

You seem like you like him outside of being in a relationship with him -- maybe you can become friends and he has friends you may find you like.  But yes, give back the jacket - and i would hand it to him don't leave it in a bag for him.   Have the maturity to return his belongings if the situation isn't hostile or ignitable.

angel

angel

_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


(in reply to CornbreadRed)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Needing some guidance - 12/23/2011 5:02:57 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		I wouldn't think of any one as really nice who showed me all the ladies he was considering, picked them apart to me, and then when asked about the d cups was so dismissive about them. And then said he'd be uncomfortable any time he saw you talking to any one wondering if you were talking kink and please stop engaging in kink for me.
quote:

ORIGINAL: CornbreadRed



Hes a really sweet man.


_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to CornbreadRed)
Profile   Post #: 54
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