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BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 7:18:01 AM

brokenmaleslave

Posts: 13
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline

This is a general question, but possibly aimed more toward the submissives on here, however its open to A/all.

The background is i am trying to re-work my resume to push myself into a better job. As submissive i have found it difficult to over-play what i have done, and sell myself, but more easily under-play things. i was wondering if other submissives had the same problems and if Dom/mes had had problems encouraging their submissives into recognising the better side of themselves or had any similar problems?

Post #: 1

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 7:38:47 AM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Don't overplay it, just put things in a good solid light. Find a headspace that allows you to play a bit. Imagine yourself as the ego maniac that everyone works with, imagine how they would write your resume. Then, clean it up and go from there. Or find a head hunting outfit, even a temp agency, and have them help you, or a trusted friend.

Oh, and few people don't have trouble writing about themselves.

(in reply to brokenmaleslave)

Post #: 2

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 7:46:13 AM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Don't overplay it, just put things in a good solid light. Find a headspace that allows you to play a bit. Imagine yourself as the ego maniac that everyone works with, imagine how they would write your resume. Then, clean it up and go from there. Or find a head hunting outfit, even a temp agency, and have them help you, or a trusted friend.

Oh, and few people don't have trouble writing about themselves.

I have to agree with Crappy on this one (don't faint). What I have seen most in resumes is too often people tend to "overplay" it as CD suggests, just be honest, to the point and be prepared to back up at the workplace what you claim. Inflated resumes tend to go into file 13, those more in line with age, job experience for the amount of time in the "given" trade and above all well written without typos and spelling errors...get read and considered. If you've been in a trade or specific job classification for a while, the "headhunters and agencies" as CD suggested, are certainly a viable choice, particularly in Metro areas.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 3

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 7:50:51 AM

acissej

Posts: 2370
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

I used to have that problem at work, but I don't think it had anything to do with being submissive. I know, for me--and for a lot of others, I'm sure, it's always easier to recognize my negative attributes. And I do know I'm fabulous and there are plenty of great things about me.

Still, I think a lot of us were taught it's rude to brag and it can be hard to distinguish between obnoxiously boasting and positively advertising your accomplishments. One thing that's good to remember but easy to forget is that your resume and cover letter should be about what you bring to the position and the company, not what the position/company will do for you.

< Message edited by acissej -- 5/27/2006 7:51:56 AM >

(in reply to brokenmaleslave)

Post #: 4

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 7:56:23 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

i have been writing resumes for friends for years, and have extensive job-seeking skills. My professional web site is on my message board profile. i'd be happy to help.

candystripper

P.S. One major reason i "burned out" as a litigator is that the litigation "headspace" is very Domme, and i am submissive. A/anyone else feel a need to obtain employment that suits T/their role?

(in reply to acissej)

Post #: 5

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 9:19:49 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

When I needed to re-vamp my resume, I went out and purchased a book that included examples of the type of resume I wanted to write. The standard old chronological listing of one's past employment just doesn't cut it anymore. Yes, I do have a difficult time describing myself in glowing phrases, but one of the tricks is that a resume should never use personal pronouns, so it was like writing it about someone else.

I just picked the resume I felt best suited my goals and my history and I patterned mine after it. It worked very well, I had a job before the week was out.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 6

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 10:56:01 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

When I needed to re-vamp my resume, I went out and purchased a book that included examples of the type of resume I wanted to write. The standard old chronological listing of one's past employment just doesn't cut it anymore. Yes, I do have a difficult time describing myself in glowing phrases, but one of the tricks is that a resume should never use personal pronouns, so it was like writing it about someone else.

I just picked the resume I felt best suited my goals and my history and I patterned mine after it. It worked very well, I had a job before the week was out.

feastie

What book did you use? Most of the ones i have read made me laugh.

candystripper

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 7

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 11:19:16 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: brokenmaleslave

This is a general question, but possibly aimed more toward the submissives on here, however its open to A/all.

The background is i am trying to re-work my resume to push myself into a better job. As submissive i have found it difficult to over-play what i have done, and sell myself, but more easily under-play things. i was wondering if other submissives had the same problems and if Dom/mes had had problems encouraging their submissives into recognising the better side of themselves or had any similar problems?

I'm unclear what is abeing asked.

Are you saying that while you work on your vanilla resume you are finding your submissive personality is getting in the way?

Are you saying that you wish you could put the same self-confidence into your search for a dom as a submissive as you do in your search for a vanilla job?

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to brokenmaleslave)

Post #: 8

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 1:26:53 PM

lisa1978

Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline

I have had the same problem. When I have written a resume for myself I have always let a freind or parent read it over. Everytime I got the same comments from them was to phrase things more positive. I have a tendacy to always write things like they are no big deal and doesn't everyone do the same things I do.

I would suggest having people read it over and give you comments. I also agree that you should not overplay it either. I have interviewed and hired people, and too much self boasting is also a huge red flag.

Good luck!

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 9

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 1:33:23 PM

SmokeyM

Posts: 120
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

You can be truthful of what you have done, after all [looking from a submissive side] you can be proud that you have done what was expected of you. Don't under-play your worth, it will not get you very far.

-Smokey

(in reply to lisa1978)

Post #: 10

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 1:35:30 PM

MrThorns

Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: brokenmaleslave

This is a general question, but possibly aimed more toward the submissives on here, however its open to A/all.

The background is i am trying to re-work my resume to push myself into a better job. As submissive i have found it difficult to over-play what i have done, and sell myself, but more easily under-play things. i was wondering if other submissives had the same problems and if Dom/mes had had problems encouraging their submissives into recognising the better side of themselves or had any similar problems?

To me, this doesn't sound like an issue that has anything to do with being dominant or submissive, but more an issue dealing with self confidence in general.

You've received some good advice in being honest about what you have done in the past and being able to back it up.

Good luck and happy hunting.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to brokenmaleslave)

Post #: 11

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 1:58:06 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Hmm that is interesting brokenmaleslave,

One of the things that used to drive my former owner batty is that I could never 'sell' myself well, not even in an interview... So yes, I find that I have a very hard time in that situation... I just have never felt at all comfortable or happy at promoting myself, and would much rather have any diligence or merits I might have be sort of... recognized on their own by my employer... which again.. is problematic in an interview.

Thankfully a good suit does wonders in terms of making you appear more hireable! hehe

(in reply to brokenmaleslave)

Post #: 12

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 3:27:40 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

I personally think under-selling yourself is as much an ego problem as over-selling. Just state the facts as they are, no more, no less, no problem.

I dont get the association between under-selling and submissiveness..doesnt quite add up to me...sounds more like a immaturity.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 13

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 4:07:34 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

When I needed to re-vamp my resume, I went out and purchased a book that included examples of the type of resume I wanted to write. The standard old chronological listing of one's past employment just doesn't cut it anymore. Yes, I do have a difficult time describing myself in glowing phrases, but one of the tricks is that a resume should never use personal pronouns, so it was like writing it about someone else.

I just picked the resume I felt best suited my goals and my history and I patterned mine after it. It worked very well, I had a job before the week was out.

feastie

What book did you use? Most of the ones i have read made me laugh.

candystripper

Worse as a hiring manager they were copied straight out of the book

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 5/27/2006 4:15:45 PM >

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 14

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 4:14:39 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

Hmm that is interesting brokenmaleslave,

One of the things that used to drive my former owner batty is that I could never 'sell' myself well, not even in an interview... So yes, I find that I have a very hard time in that situation... I just have never felt at all comfortable or happy at promoting myself, and would much rather have any diligence or merits I might have be sort of... recognized on their own by my employer... which again.. is problematic in an interview.

Thankfully a good suit does wonders in terms of making you appear more hireable! hehe

My last boy was that way. I'd re-written his resume to put his strengths (masters degree) on top of his work experience (sales clerk) and lightly buffed job descriptions so they didn't look so out of whack with the jobs he was going for. Even picking jobs he should apply for. When he would get an interview for something that he was more than suited for he'd come home disappointed. When I would ask how the interview went he'd say terrible, his interview skills were terrible even with coaching. What's on paper only gets you to the door, your interview skills will determine if you are let through.

Learning how to "package" yourself is useful for all kinds of things...getting a job, finding a domme, getting a promotion you deserve.

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 15

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 4:35:18 PM

lisa1978

Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline

quote:

I personally think under-selling yourself is as much an ego problem as over-selling. Just state the facts as they are, no more, no less, no problem.

I dont get the association between under-selling and submissiveness..doesnt quite add up to me...sounds more like a immaturity.

I think it might be because of personality in terms of selling yourself either over or under but I do not think it has anything to do with immaturity. There are plenty of people of all ages and gender who can brag about themselves to no end and plenty who think everything they do is no big deal. Whether this totally aligns with dominant or submissive behavior is of one's opinion. I personally believe that they are not mutually inclusive but do overlap to the point of many more submissive people will under sell themselves than dominants as a percentage and vice versa.

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 16

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 7:42:31 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

One way i reconciled the way i state my skills (and duties) in my resume and at work is that i consider my professional life as an extension of who i am as i submissive. As an executive assistant two big parts of my job are to first, make my boss's job easier, and secondly to make him "look better". Imho, both of those areas would also be important in a D/s relationship.

As for how to work resumes, i've scoured websites of places i'd like to work, resume building websites, and newspaper want ads, pick out words or phrases that i think fit what i'm looking for to use in my own resume. You don't say what kind of job you're looking for, but for myself i have different resumes to use that depend on the job itself, even it's title. The worst possible thing you can do, however, is to "over play" your skills and/or experiences. Most people in HR know the tricks of the trade and if they miss something chances are the boss will. If all of that fails, and heaven forbid you get the job, overplaying can too easily land a person in over their head.

Good luck in your search.

cheers

jimini

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to lisa1978)

Post #: 17

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/27/2006 11:19:44 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

I honestly do not have that issue, no. I do not submit at work, in the least. I'm in charge of everything at work! I submit to one person only.

As for your resume, state your accomplishments. Anyone can be responsible for something and do a crappy job at it. What did you DO at your job? Did you save them money? How much, and how? Did you streamline any processes? What were the results? Did you make any great suggestions what were implemented by your boss?

quote:

P.S. One major reason i "burned out" as a litigator is that the litigation "headspace" is very Domme, and i am submissive. A/anyone else feel a need to obtain employment that suits T/their role?

Actually, I tried being my submissive self at work and was mowed over...and over and over. I have since reconnected with the strong person within me, and I am back to being successful and respected at work. I have learned to be submissive to One person only, period. He is my respit...he is where I express my true nature. Doing so gives me the strength to be who I must be everywhere else.

(in reply to brokenmaleslave)

Post #: 18

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/28/2006 5:30:49 AM

sharainks

Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline

This is an interesting thread for me. For the past year I've had a control freak boss and am virtually the only employee in the dept that gets along with him. Maybe he fits my mental space but I find him relatively easy to get along with. Simply do what he says by when he says and as he says and everything goes well.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 19

RE: BDSM and Work - 5/28/2006 5:53:17 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

When I needed to re-vamp my resume, I went out and purchased a book that included examples of the type of resume I wanted to write. The standard old chronological listing of one's past employment just doesn't cut it anymore. Yes, I do have a difficult time describing myself in glowing phrases, but one of the tricks is that a resume should never use personal pronouns, so it was like writing it about someone else.

I just picked the resume I felt best suited my goals and my history and I patterned mine after it. It worked very well, I had a job before the week was out.

feastie

What book did you use? Most of the ones i have read made me laugh.

candystripper

Resumes That Knock 'Em Dead by Martin Yate

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 20

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