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D/s Engagement Rings and Wedding Ceremonies - 5/27/2006 8:45:18 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

First a bit of background:

i have a need to be married to my One, in part because (at least for the time being) i am a devote Catholic and pre-marital sex is a violation of the Ten Commandments.

(i do not plan to remain sexually disengaged from a Man who may be my One...if Y/you want to know how this apparent dilemma is resolved <a rather esoteric area of Catholic dogma> email me on the other side.)

To me, a mortal sin on my soul means, if not absolved before death, the result is eternal damnation. (Btw, i realise my spiritual beliefs are a personal matter. Like most Catholics, i don't proletize.)

Now for the question(s) of this Op:

i want a D/s engagement ring. My thoughts on the matter to date are:

1. He would design it; possibly even make it.

2. He would chose the metal. (i don't care so long as it doesn't turn my finger green or bend or tarnish, and most metals that tarnish can be plated so that doesn't happen.)

3. He would decide whether the ring had a stone, and if so, which sort. (My only preference is that any stone He chose had a high hardness value, as i am clumbsy s'times.)

4. He would chose a symbol or s'thing that was meaningful to Him in the context, and would have it s'how engraved or stamped, etc. on the ring.

5. i would prefer the value of the ring be in its symbolism and not its retail value.....but i would not care to interfere with His choices.

i do not want to be proposed to in a vanilla manner either; i do not want to see my One "on bended knee".

To me, the collar would be AFTER the wedding, as it signifies a greater and different commitment. i suppose collaring could be done same day as the wedding, but i want some P/pl at my wedding to whom i am not "out", such as my little one.

i feel the manner in which a collar is given should be decided at least primarially by the Dom or Master giving the collar (JMHO).

Btw, have not received any marriage proposals (unless Y/you count HNG's, lmao) and this post is not specific to Anyone.

A few of my submissive girlfriends are getting married this summer; i wonder if A/anyone familiar with a Catholic wedding sacrament could suggest any little D/s "signals" that could be incorporated?

Did A/anyone have a D/s marriage ceremony? What did Y/you do?

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 5/27/2006 9:19:35 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: D/s Engagement Rings - 5/27/2006 8:53:11 AM

Sab

Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline

Our engagement rings are gold, mine (yes I have one) a plain band with an incription on it - she chose that with my blessing, and hers is a diamond cluster gold ring. Out wedding bands are titanium with gold inlay. The wedding bands are this because of the commitment is solid and will not wane - the gold inlays represent both of us.

All this does represent the commitment we have to each other - just call me an old romantic. ;)

_____________________________

God blessed it and it brought me to her.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 2

RE: D/s Engagement Rings - 5/27/2006 9:10:27 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

My Owner and I have designed my engagement ring together. It's going to be blue and white saphires set in white gold. (Saphires get either an 8 or an 8.5 on the hardness scale).

One peice of advice I can offer is to buy loose stones and get them set. In doing our research we found that the majority non-diamond jewelry in jewelry stores is made of cultured (lab created) stones. I went to a -lot- of jewelers and at least 80% of the saphires were lab created. So we looked around and found that lab created stones can be bought -very- inexpensivly. They are indistinguishable from natural stones except undera high powered jewler's loup, and even under one, the only difference is the dirrection the...shoot...growth lines? somethign like that...go in. They have exactly the same refractive properties as well as everything else. AND you end up paying a -fraction- of the cost. PLUS you get to get a custom set ring, which sounds pretty nifty.

Unless the person you're with is a jeweler, I'd advise against trying to make the ring. I've done a little bit of attempted casting and molding of rings. It's very difficult. However, most jewelers will do a custom setting. I have a feeling money will be less of an issue for you than it is for us, so you've got a LOT of options for settings.

Heh, sorry for the rambling, but we have -just- finished doing this research so I've got a little bit of knowledge, which is dangerous :)

I think that my Owner -does- plan on doing a fairly traditional proposal, because he's as much a romantic as I am. Which kinda makes me happy.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Sab)

Post #: 3

RE: D/s Engagement Rings - 5/27/2006 9:14:26 AM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

I wanna get married too!! I'm Christian and while I don't hold to it being a mortal sin I do consider living with my Dom while not married to be a sin in the eyes of God. My Dom is a practicing Catholic who hasn't really discussed with me his feelings on mortal sin and all that. We are both divorced and those wounds from that are still fresh with us both. He is also much older then I am and I don't think he wants to burden me with the responsibility of having an old husband someday. Of course that makes no sense since I plan on being with him forever anyway!!

I have picked out my rings that I would like to have on this site.

http://www.teno.com/rings.html

And if no marriage happens then I will still love and serve my Dom for as long as God allows. We do plan on having a formal collaring ceremony after we have been living together for one year. Maybe he has something plan that I don't know about.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to Sab)

Post #: 4

RE: D/s Engagement Rings - 5/27/2006 9:27:42 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Littlepita

I wanna get married too!! I'm Christian and while I don't hold to it being a mortal sin I do consider living with my Dom while not married to be a sin in the eyes of God. My Dom is a practicing Catholic who hasn't really discussed with me his feelings on mortal sin and all that. We are both divorced and those wounds from that are still fresh with us both. He is also much older then I am and I don't think he wants to burden me with the responsibility of having an old husband someday. Of course that makes no sense since I plan on being with him forever anyway!!

I have picked out my rings that I would like to have on this site. http://www.teno.com/rings.html

And if no marriage happens then I will still love and serve my Dom for as long as God allows. We do plan on having a formal collaring ceremony after we have been living together for one year. Maybe he has something plan that I don't know about.

Littlepita, if Y/you plan a Catholic wedding sacrament, be advised that, if Your One has previously been married in the Church, He needs an annulment to remarry in a second sacrament. There is considerable time and possibly some expense involved, and there must be grounds for an annulment (though they are rarely refused.)

Also, most priests have a difficult time performing inter-faith marriage sacraments, and Y/you made need to shop around for a willing clergyman. Then there's announcement of the banns and premarital counseling, yada, yada, yada. Email me on the other side if i can be of any assistance.

Btw, congrats on finding your One!

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 5/27/2006 9:29:03 AM >

(in reply to Littlepita)

Post #: 5

RE: D/s Engagement Rings and Wedding Ceremonies - 5/27/2006 9:44:44 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Well candy, I am an ex Catholic, now a Wiccan and deeply spiritual, here are some of the things I want to do--I am sure there are a few here you can use---My wedding will be a blend--although the full collaring will be reserved for later with My D/s friends ( who btw will attend U/us in the wedding as well)--

I have a flair for the subtle dramatic-- so bear with Me--W/we will both have engagement rings-he will propose, but using the words: " will you have me for life"-- the rings will be made from a blend of stones that are My power stones--for it is My role to protect him--and it is a commitment on both parts, not just one.

Our wedding will be black and white (I will wear black, he will wear white with a black vest)--( submissives are the ones seen as virginal)--I will carry red roses and his flower will be white- as I approach him, he will kneel and wait for Me to arrive--I will simply give him a nod of the head to rise when I do---when we exchange rings--we will also exchange roses, I will take his white and he will take My long stemmed very thorned red rose-his finger will be pricked with the thorn---the symbol of the pain and the love---his words will be the traditional-love, honor and obey ( for that is what he will be doing), Mine will be more like protect, guide and nurture. Our wedding rings as was mentioned by another will be a blend of gold and silver--( the goddess and the submissive united)--as we prepare to leave, he will bow, I will bid him quietly to rise and take My hand..subtle yet dramatic symbols of love and the life, IMHO.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 6

RE: D/s Engagement Rings and Wedding Ceremonies - 5/27/2006 10:02:57 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

Well candy, I am an ex Catholic, now a Wiccan and deeply spiritual, here are some of the things I want to do--I am sure there are a few here you can use---My wedding will be a blend--although the full collaring will be reserved for later with My D/s friends ( who btw will attend U/us in the wedding as well)--

I have a flair for the subtle dramatic-- so bear with Me--W/we will both have engagement rings-he will propose, but using the words: " will you have me for life"-- the rings will be made from a blend of stones that are My power stones--for it is My role to protect him--and it is a commitment on both parts, not just one.

Our wedding will be black and white (I will wear black, he will wear white with a black vest)--( submissives are the ones seen as virginal)--I will carry red roses and his flower will be white- as I approach him, he will kneel and wait for Me to arrive--I will simply give him a nod of the head to rise when I do---when we exchange rings--we will also exchange roses, I will take his white and he will take My long stemmed very thorned red rose-his finger will be pricked with the thorn---the symbol of the pain and the love---his words will be the traditional-love, honor and obey ( for that is what he will be doing), Mine will be more like protect, guide and nurture. Our wedding rings as was mentioned by another will be a blend of gold and silver--( the goddess and the submissive united)--as we prepare to leave, he will bow, I will bid him quietly to rise and take My hand..subtle yet dramatic symbols of love and the life, IMHO.

~Respectfully asks MHOO314 for an invite at the time of Her wedding.~ Great ideas, Ma'am, thank You.

candystripper

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 7

RE: D/s Engagement Rings - 5/27/2006 2:43:48 PM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
Littlepita, if Y/you plan a Catholic wedding sacrament, be advised that, if Your One has previously been married in the Church, He needs an annulment to remarry in a second sacrament. There is considerable time and possibly some expense involved, and there must be grounds for an annulment (though they are rarely refused.)

Also, most priests have a difficult time performing inter-faith marriage sacraments, and Y/you made need to shop around for a willing clergyman. Then there's announcement of the banns and premarital counseling, yada, yada, yada. Email me on the other side if i can be of any assistance.

Btw, congrats on finding your One!

candystripper

Thank you candystripper. Yes, I have for sure found my One, and I thank God for that everyday. If we were to get married *fingers crossed* I don't see it being done in the Catholic Church. I will not convert and we both wouldn't want to have any rules bended for our behalf. I do see us finding a lovely little chapel somewhere and married by a minister who doesn't have a conflict with marrying two people who do share the same faith, although interpreted differently in some areas. On the other hand, we could just fly to Vegas!

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 8

RE: D/s Engagement Rings - 5/27/2006 2:56:29 PM

apb

Posts: 103
Joined: 9/21/2005
Status: offline

Congrats on finding your One Candystripper!

I too have found my One and we plan to marry. W/we are both Catholic, unfortunately we are both female also - so a Catholic wedding is definitely out for us ...

my plan right now is for us to go home (England) and marry there where it is now legal. Heopfully one day it will be legal here too, but for now it means a lot to me to be at least able to do this in my own country.

As for rings, collars and such.... i will have a collar, and we will do rings too. All of this is undecided as yet though so i am enjoying this thread. Thanks for sharing!!

_____________________________

~ apb

"This is who I am - you can like it or not. You can love me or leave me 'cos I'm never gonna' stop."
~ Madonna

(in reply to Littlepita)

Post #: 9

RE: D/s Engagement Rings - 5/27/2006 3:21:03 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

hi candy,

Given your inclination, I think one line in your ceremony could depict the D/s element adequately, "love, honor...and obey".
Another litle symbolsim you could incorporate is a choker as part of your wedding outfit.

Master and I got married in a national park, it was at the entrance of a cave in front of a waterfall. I had already been collared as his slave, so this ceremony was really for recognition of our partnership by the outside world and didnt need any D/s symbolism. We wrote our own vows, so they had a D/s flavour to them, but nothing so "out there" that regular people couldnt relate. We did include the word obey in my vows we made up, which seemed traditional to those present but had a highly significant special meaning to us. Another symbolism we used was I had roses threaded all along the pathway to the cave entrance.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to Littlepita)

Post #: 10

RE: D/s Engagement Rings - 5/27/2006 6:46:51 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Congrats on finding your One Candystripper!

MouseTrapp

No, i have not been that blessed as yet. However, being a girly-girl, i think about these things. My first wedding was a disaster from start to finish, and the marriage was from Hades.

When i was vanilla, i'd s'times buy Bride's Magazine just to fantasize about the dress, etc.

Now that i realise imma submissive, Bride's Magazine is of no use to me...but the fantasizing goes on.

candystripper

(in reply to apb)

Post #: 11

RE: D/s Engagement Rings - 5/27/2006 6:49:22 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

hi candy,

Given your inclination, I think one line in your ceremony could depict the D/s element adequately, "love, honor...and obey".
Another litle symbolsim you could incorporate is a choker as part of your wedding outfit.

Master and I got married in a national park, it was at the entrance of a cave in front of a waterfall. I had already been collared as his slave, so this ceremony was really for recognition of our partnership by the outside world and didnt need any D/s symbolism. We wrote our own vows, so they had a D/s flavour to them, but nothing so "out there" that regular people couldnt relate. We did include the word obey in my vows we made up, which seemed traditional to those present but had a highly significant special meaning to us. Another symbolism we used was I had roses threaded all along the pathway to the cave entrance.

Okay now i wanna attend D/s weddings whether or not i know a soul. What a beautiful ceremony, slavejali.

candystripper

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 12

RE: D/s Engagement Rings - 5/27/2006 9:29:57 PM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

I had a 'traditional' vanilla wedding... and I am no longer married, so should I end up in the situation where marriage feels right (and I hope to be in that situation someday), I would love to have a simple, less traditional vanilla ceremony... with hints and flavors of D/s which are symbolic to us. Also, ever since reading about a second ceremony with D/s rituals, I can't help but to fantasize... It's a cloudy vision, but I see me in black, a male on his knees, being collared or branded as vows of ownership and submission are being exchanged in front of only a handful of people in the lifestyle.

I also like the idea of the male submissive taking the last name of the female, or some version of that (female hyphenates and male changes his middle name to her last name; something of that nature if for professional, etc. reasons, a name change for the male isn't possible).

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 13

RE: D/s Engagement Rings and Wedding Ceremonies - 5/27/2006 10:00:36 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

[code]

quote:

i want a D/s engagement ring. My thoughts on the matter to date are:

Master "proposed" to me on April 29 - one day before the fifth anniversary of my moving in with Him. He presented me with a slave bracelet He designed Himself, with the help of a local jeweler. It's 14k gold, with what looks like about a 1k amethyst stone, and two tiny diamonds in the ring part. When He gave it to me, rather than "asking" me to marry Him, He told me that He didn't buy me an "engagement ring," "because we don't have that kind of relationship. However, slave, I'm ordering you to marry me. Are you going to obey?" Of course, I said yes! So I now have an engagement slave bracelet.

We've not worked out what our ceremony is actually going to be yet, but the word "obey" will definitely be included, and we'll probably be in 15th century attire.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v505/MissSeline/Other%20Peoples%20Stuff/engagement.jpg

< Message edited by Evanesce -- 5/27/2006 10:03:22 PM >

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 14

RE: D/s Engagement Rings - 5/27/2006 10:42:47 PM

ArchangelMichael

Posts: 243
Joined: 8/21/2004
From: New Orleans, LA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

hi candy,

Given your inclination, I think one line in your ceremony could depict the D/s element adequately, "love, honor...and obey".
Another litle symbolsim you could incorporate is a choker as part of your wedding outfit.

Master and I got married in a national park, it was at the entrance of a cave in front of a waterfall. I had already been collared as his slave, so this ceremony was really for recognition of our partnership by the outside world and didnt need any D/s symbolism. We wrote our own vows, so they had a D/s flavour to them, but nothing so "out there" that regular people couldnt relate. We did include the word obey in my vows we made up, which seemed traditional to those present but had a highly significant special meaning to us. Another symbolism we used was I had roses threaded all along the pathway to the cave entrance.

Hmmm, I wonder if people would notice if the "obey" part of the vows applied to me instead of the woman I was marrying.

_____________________________

"Open up your mind; Let your fantasies unwind." -The Phantom, Phantom of the Opera

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." -Toulouse-Lautrec, Moulin Rouge

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 15

RE: D/s Engagement Rings - 5/28/2006 12:34:07 AM

SirMichealspeach

Posts: 73
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline

Master and i are getting married in December. We have discussed what kind of ceremony to have and rings. I am been collard for several months now. i wear a sterling silver lockdown collar with a beautiful flower design that i wear 24/7.
i would love to have matching wedding rings that are made from the same metal as my collar but am unsure if this can be done sense the collar has allen wrench screws to hold it. Don't know if rings can be made without the closure. would be intersting to see though...

Sir Micheals peach

(in reply to ArchangelMichael)

Post #: 16

RE: D/s Engagement Rings and Wedding Ceremonies - 5/28/2006 12:48:45 AM

allyC

Posts: 778
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
i have a need to be married to my One, in part because (at least for the time being) i am a devote Catholic and pre-marital sex is a violation of the Ten Commandments.

Hiya! I am rackin' my brains here trying to figure out which commandment pre-marital sex violates. Help me out? *grins* Cav's ally

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 17

RE: D/s Engagement Rings and Wedding Ceremonies - 5/29/2006 8:13:15 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I think if people spent as much time and energy into their marriage as they did on their wedding then we'd have fewer divorces :)

That being said, rituals are just rituals, whatever dogmatic system you wish to put them under. Enjoy whatever comes to mind that you want.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 18

RE: D/s Engagement Rings and Wedding Ceremonies - 5/29/2006 8:33:32 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Hiya! I am rackin' my brains here trying to figure out which commandment pre-marital sex violates

.

I'm confused as well. Wasn't poly a common thing in old testament times? I think they had many *ones*.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 19

RE: D/s Engagement Rings and Wedding Ceremonies - 5/29/2006 8:38:59 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

The only one I can think of is Thou shalt not commit adultery. But isn't adultery committed once you're married?

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 20

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