LookieNoNookie -> RE: ideas for christian humiliation (11/23/2011 5:23:16 PM)
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ORIGINAL: SuzeQ A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some bear hunting. As he rounded the corner on a perilous twist in the trail, he and a bear collided, sending him and his rifle tumbling down the mountainside. Before he knew it, his rifle went one way and he went the other, landing on a rock and breaking both legs. That was the good news. The bad news was the ferocious bear charging at him from a distance, and he couldn't move. The preacher started praying: "Oh, Lord, I'm so sorry for skipping services today to come out here and hunt. Please forgive me and grant me just one wish...please make a Christian out of that bear that's coming at me. Please, Lord!" That very instant, the bear skidded to a halt, fell to its knees, clasped its paws together and began to pray aloud right at the preacher's feet. "Dear God, bless this food I am about to receive...." _____________________________ What do priests and Christmas trees have in common? They both have balls, but they're just for decoration. Young guy goes through a horrible accident....has to get his dick cut off....awful stuff.....horrible future.... New procedure....amazing science...it's found that a young elephants trunk can be sewed on.....he says "Yes, of course, let's do it". Months go by, he fully heals and he's on his very first date, beautiful restaurant, white table cloths, fine china, hard sourdough biscuits, good wine, salad.....they're enjoying a wonderful conversation and.... suddenly the trunk comes up from under the cloth, grabs a biscuit, drops down.....conversation continues....moments go by, trunk comes back up, grabs a biscuit....woman is more than bewildered....but she holds back....finally she says...."I don't understand....what's with that? Guy explains the operation, she says "wow....that's fucking amazing.....can you do it again?" He says..... "Sure but....I really don't think I can handle another sour dough biscuit up my ass".
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