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stellauk -> RE: Looking for a 2nd wife. (11/21/2011 3:11:42 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sean333333
what works for you doesn't work for others..
And what you may think works for you now might not, or if it does now it may not later on.
You seem to be attaching a lot of weight to the lupus and fibro. Yes they are serious illnesses, yes they are debilitating, but this takes nothing away from the fact that there are two individual people involved who appear to have to make choices.
Judgment call? No, not at all. I'm not you, we've not had contact, no idea what exact circumstances you find yourself in or the state of your marriage. None of us know. You do.
Actually I'm not too sure why you seem to be going on and on about the lupus and issues and the past because from what I can see you have put yourself forward as the one with the need here, you have elected yourself to be the chief decision maker, you wrote the profile and started the thread.
Is your situation really all that rare and so unique as you make out?
No it isn't. Not at all. We all need love, we all crave some degree of physical intimacy, and we all want to be happy and fulfilled.
But it's also a fact of life that to achieve these things and share them with someone else we go through a process of learning and discovery and along the way we are hurt, we hurt others, we are deceived, and we deceive not just others, we deceive ourselves. We sometimes find ourselves in tough situations in life, situations which few people really understand, and we sometimes have to compromise our own values and beliefs.
And maybe not in the same set of circumstances and context I have stood quite a few times in that spot where you find yourself now. I know what it is to face the judgment of many people, to go completely against societal norms, and furthermore I know what it means to go against yourself and to betray yourself in the determination to get something you believe that you want and need so badly.
Oh please don't get me wrong, I strongly believe that even in the darkest, the sickest, the most depraved any existence can offer you can still find some semblance of humanity, of morality, and of love. Some of the most heinous crimes ever committed in Texas are by those held on the Polunsky Unit on Texas Death Row but throughout many still share the love of their mothers and family, they remain loyal to their friends and many of their last words are of love.
There is no evil strong enough to erase humanity from us, and so where some may judge, I do what I can to keep an open mind.
And this is why without having anything more than what you have posted here I see beyond the lupus and illnesses, the obesity, and the marriage to that what lies at the core of all this - your conscience and sense of morality. You need both to make any sort of decision, right?
Why didn't you do what most people do in your situation and just look for a carer, a maid, an au pair? Nobody would have batted an eyelid. Well, not unless your name is Arnold Schwarzenegger.
No you resorted to bonerism and revealed yourself to be a bonerist. Think Buddhism and Buddha. A Buddhist practices Buddhism to follow Buddha, a bonerist practices bonerism to follow the desires of his boner. Quite common around these parts.
This is where I feel you've gone wrong.
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