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Posture training.. - 11/22/2011 10:45:53 PM

MyHazelLabyrinth

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Hey everyone, thanks for taking the time to read this.

As a newb with no real life experience of D/s and/or BDSM i am a little unsure of what i should expect or how to prepare for , for some basic posture training.

Now i know it is rude of me to ask people to share what exactly goes on and it is different because each Dom/Master may have his different methods.

But if at all possible, should there be things that are expected to happen? Surely there should be simillariteis although the methods are different.

As it will be my first little tid bit of training i'm just a bit nervous that's all.

Also, just to sling it in there, how will i know if i'm ready to do something like this? I know it is something small to those of you with years of experience, but i don't want to push myself into something i'm not comfortable doing just for the sake of it not being a fantasy. Does anyone know what i mean?

I'll be happy to get any feedback

thanks nutbars :)

Post #: 1

RE: Posture training.. - 11/23/2011 4:07:55 AM

Focus50

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From: Newcastle, Australia
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So what is it that you mean by this "posture training"? Perhaps you're a bit gangly or tend to slouch etc? I won't have my girl slouching anyway, but I suspect you're meaning something a little more formal and specifically in a D/s sense?

Hmmm, I'll run with that last thought.... I have certain requirements of my girl when I'm giving instruction and these are usually the first things I teach her at the beginning of a relationship.

Whether I'm standing or sitting on my preferred stool (I've tended to be much taller than my subs), I want her standing before me close enough that I can easily grasp the back of her neck but not so close as to invade my space. She's to be upright but comfortable (NO slouching) and her feet are to be positioned at whatever is easiest for her to maintain balance. If she's in trouble, then she's to stand bolt upright, chest out and feet hard together.

Since she has no need for hands, they are to be clasped behind her back. Mostly I want her eyes at my feet unless I'm reinforcing a specific point, in which case I'll instruct her to look at me and she's to hold my gaze until I give her the ok to look down again. If I invite her to speak, anything she asks better start with "Sir" and any answer better end with it. If I'm simply instructing her to do something, that doesn't require an answer, only compliance.

If I tell her to turn right, it's to her right, not mine - my way of keeping it simple so she only need concentrate on compliance. And so it goes.... She gets all her cues from me so there's no need for her to get flustered if she gets a little lost. But once I know she fully understands each little thing I've taught her, she has no excuse for "back sliding".

Other "postures" I won't tolerate include talking to me while wearing sun glasses (driving along in the car is ok), standing with her hands on hips (looks bossy) or folding her arms across her chest when talking to me. I learnt from a teenager that when a girl doesn't like you, she "protects" that icon of feminininity by becoming conscious of one too many blouse buttons undone or the sudden need to fold arms or button up her jacket etc, and I just won't have it from my property.

Now this is where you tell me you meant something altogether different - I've been on a bit of a roll like that, recently.... lol

Focus.

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RE: Posture training.. - 11/23/2011 5:01:39 AM

LillyBoPeep

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Protocol like that is interesting to me -- do you teach it as the need arises, or kind of a "here's what you do if --" sorta way? By saying "she gets all her cues from me," do you mean that you instruct it in the moment? Or should she remember?

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RE: Posture training.. - 11/23/2011 8:27:22 AM

peppermint

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From: Montana
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I have never heard of posture training. Are you talking about Gorean positions maybe?

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RE: Posture training.. - 11/23/2011 8:38:22 AM

mnottertail

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Well positions training is more advanced than posture training.

Remember how you were told to align your spine, hold your head up, don't slouch?
Thats posture training.

You know how some folks can kinda squat their head on their neck?
There are posture collars that train that. Usually leather, I assume amongst others here on CM, Archer makes them.

Perhaps one is to stand a certain way, and everyone remembers the old book on the head and glide....glide......glide walking, even on stairs.

Posture training.

Gorean Positions are something else again, because the forms are for certain functions. Formally sitting sieza is somewhat akin to one or two positions.

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 11/23/2011 8:39:59 AM >

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RE: Posture training.. - 11/23/2011 8:52:29 AM

JstAnotherSub

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9db4o8c5X0I

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RE: Posture training.. - 11/23/2011 9:16:37 AM

littlewonder

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If you're talking about just learning to sit up straight, then I can give what I had to do. A long time ago I had huge breasts that weighed me down to the point they made me slouch, pushed my shoulders forward because of the weight.

I then had a reduction that took away all that weight but I had to go through posture exercises with my doctor to learn how to sit up straight again since my body had to adjust all over again.

I was made to always push my shoulders back and be conscious of when I was not doing that. I admit I still fall into slouching though from time to time even though it's been years now. It's unfortunately something my body just seems to revert back to sometimes especially when I'm tired.

If you find that your slouching is extreme you may also want to get checked out by a doctor to make sure it's not something physical instead of just a bad habit.

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RE: Posture training.. - 11/23/2011 9:26:21 AM

MyHazelLabyrinth

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thanks heaps to all of you that commented

goodness i have to start the posture training before i get onto posture training,, i have a long long..way to go..can't wait :)

thanks again :)

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Post #: 8

RE: Posture training.. - 11/23/2011 10:54:09 AM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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A suggestion. Run a broom pole through the sleeves of your tee shirt. You cannot slouch with that.
It's an equestrian posture training done for jumpers/English.

Funny story, my oldest used to have jumping lessons on Tuesdays with her instructor yelling at her to sit up straight or she'd put the broom pole back in. The next day she had reining(Western) lessons with that instructor yelling at her to stop sitting like she had a broom pole shoved up her shirt. Couldn't win.

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RE: Posture training.. - 11/23/2011 12:48:56 PM

mnottertail

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Jst.....and at some point leading to...............
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNFp7zStBvY

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Post #: 10

RE: Posture training.. - 11/23/2011 3:40:15 PM

ResidentSadist

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True, everyone has there own personal procedures for posture training. Whether it is walking with a book balanced on your head, wearing a posture training collar or following Master's every move with face planted in his butt cheeks, there is a common thread. The trainer expects you to obey not matter what the method. If you are ready to obey, then you are ready for training. I think that sums it up.

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RE: Posture training.. - 11/24/2011 3:04:47 AM

Focus50

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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

Protocol like that is interesting to me -- do you teach it as the need arises, or kind of a "here's what you do if --" sorta way?

A bit of both. Some is what I'd call basic training that I need my sub to know, such as the how's and where's to stand, how to ask and answer, where to keep her eyes and hands etc. And my pet peeves, too, like folded arms or hands on hips etc. These are my personal requirements (along with many others) of any sub I'd call mine whereas there are likely habits and foibles unique to a particular sub that I may wish to address, too, that would come under your "as the need arises"....

quote:

By saying "she gets all her cues from me," do you mean that you instruct it in the moment? Or should she remember?

Again, both. I'm running the show so the theory is that all a sub has to do is what she's told. That earlier example of her standing easy and comfortable etc as opposed to standing tall when she's in trouble comes to mind. Obviously a cue/clue to being in trouble would come from eyes and tone, as well as me formally telling her to stand up (straight) and look at ME.

And yeah, of course she needs to remember that which she's been taught for next time. It also helps that subs tend to be perfectionists along with their nature and need to please etc, so it's not like we Dom/mes need to do all the "heavy lifting" in getting what we expect from our sub's behaviour. Truth is subs are often guilty of trying too hard and consequently losing rhythm and confidence for it, which is why I'm conscious of keeping it simple and not allowing her to get flustered with any unrealistic standards and expectations of herself.

A sub having personal pride is a good thing; a desirable thing - but ultimately it's *my* rules and standards she has satisfy.

Focus.

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Post #: 12

RE: Posture training.. - 11/24/2011 3:37:20 AM

Focus50

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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MyHazelLabyrinth

goodness i have to start the posture training before i get onto posture training,, i have a long long..way to go..can't wait :)

Uh-ohhh, you make it sound like a chore....

Since every single Dom/me will have requirements and peeves unique to them, there is no universal remedy or curriculum a sub can learn by themselves. And I *love* the basic teaching/training phase of a new sub in my life, so much so that I tend to be unimpressed with any sub who thinks she's got the basics covered from day one.

Whether she be first day newbie or a sub of 30 years D/s experience, neither can possibly know exactly what I want and expect from *my* sub - so they both be relegated to "clean slate" status in my eyes and household. The only real difference is the experienced sub will acclimatise faster but if I had to choose, I much prefer the awkwardness in mannerism and the anticipation (or tingling terror) in the eyes of the uninitiated newb.

I'm sure I'm not the only Dom/me who likes to "play with my food".... ;) That "training" absolutely is NOT a chore! Certainly wouldn't want a potential sub of mine getting some sort of self-help headstart. Though I'm sure I'd also enjoy "unlearning" it from her - as more ways of playing with food dawn upon me....

Focus.

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Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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Post #: 13

RE: Posture training.. - 11/24/2011 6:35:02 AM

MyHazelLabyrinth

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oh no i didn't mean it to sound like i thought it would be a chore...

just being new but finally mustering the courage to start on my path, it just seems there is so much for me to learn. Which btw i am quite happy about, because i don't ever want to be at a stage where i'm not learning.

i'm looking forward to it, thanks again for your comments :)

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Post #: 14

RE: Posture training.. - 11/24/2011 8:07:49 AM

LillyBoPeep

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You're very right about the tendency to try too hard. In a way, I imaginne having the protocol is helpful as something to fall back on, iinstead of having to second guess or try to anticipate. When things are clearly delineated, you just know what to do.

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RE: Posture training.. - 11/24/2011 9:53:16 AM

JanahX

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Here is pic of a posture collar. I would suggest in doing research on wearing one & different types before you actually wear one.
Being who I am, you couldnt pay me enough money to wear one of these. Or ballet boots or any of that other restriction/posture wear.

Attachment (1)

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RE: Posture training.. - 11/25/2011 1:45:15 AM

Focus50

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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MyHazelLabyrinth

oh no i didn't mean it to sound like i thought it would be a chore...

just being new but finally mustering the courage to start on my path, it just seems there is so much for me to learn. Which btw i am quite happy about, because i don't ever want to be at a stage where i'm not learning.

i'm looking forward to it, thanks again for your comments :)

Ahh, that's more like it.... :) As with most things in life, it's more about taking in and experiencing the journey rather than the inevitable destination (for all). The young in particular can get preoccupied with ticking off life's experience boxes moreso than enjoying (or at least learning from) each individual experience. And we do seem to get a lot of young newbies on CM eager to get past "training" - like it's a chore - hence my misreading your intentions....

Another "posture" came to mind when you viewed my profile and I noted that, along with being a fellow Aussie, you're quite tall at 5'10". I have another rule (relative to your topic) that my girl is not to be taller than me when she's speaking to me, esp if it's to ask something. And certainly not if I'm giving her direction.... Obviously I'm not suggesting making anyone physically shorter than they actually are - but we Doms have our ways, regardless....

In part of my reply to Lilly's post, I said - "there are likely habits and foibles unique to a particular sub that I may wish to address".... Your particular height would be one of those qualities specific to you but not other subs I've owned in the past. Which means that if I owned you, I wouldn't be giving you formal direction from the comfort of my favourite stool as my 6'2" seated would leave you being taller while standing, esp if standing straight, or also wearing heels etc. And since I'm not in the habit of giving formal direction to a kneeling sub (unless she's really in the biggest and deepest possible trouble), then the stool is out and we'd both be toe to toe, sorta....

But this "not being taller" isn't just for formal scenes, it's part of the greater relationship. If we're at home and I happen to be sitting, then the girl kneels if she wishes to ask something. If we're out at a club or restaurant, then she sits next to me first, then asks. If there's no spare chair available at a given moment, then she squats down next to me - but always in a feminine and lady-like manner. And since I'm still a gent, I'm not gonna leave her like that for any extended period. It's about respect; the gesture of kneeling or squatting down etc, then I'll sort something out, esp if we're in public.

All Dom/mes have unique life experiences they draw on and incorporate in formulating their individual rules and standards of behaviour that they'll accept from their sub. Which is why each is the only one who can teach *you* what it is they expect of and from you. And still no-one's even gotten all nekkid yet.... ;)

Be well. :)

Focus.

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Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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RE: Posture training.. - 11/25/2011 3:56:21 AM

LillyBoPeep

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that's innteresting, Focus - so the height differential illustrates the power exchange, by keeping the girl physically lower? At 6'2" it's probably uncommon, but have you owned chicks who were as tall or taller?
It's interesting that you said you'd sort something out - so you're maintaining a chunk of responsibility for the protocol instead of leaving it up to the girl.
Most of the time (not all, but most) when I've met people with different protocol, it was more like "here's a loose idea. And any odd situations are up to you." Nnnice to see a different approach.

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RE: Posture training.. - 11/25/2011 10:27:53 AM

Focus50

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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

that's innteresting, Focus - so the height differential illustrates the power exchange, by keeping the girl physically lower? At 6'2" it's probably uncommon, but have you owned chicks who were as tall or taller?
It's interesting that you said you'd sort something out - so you're maintaining a chunk of responsibility for the protocol instead of leaving it up to the girl.
Most of the time (not all, but most) when I've met people with different protocol, it was more like "here's a loose idea. And any odd situations are up to you." Nnnice to see a different approach.

Yes, it not only signifies the respective PE, it's also another way of conducting personal/private PE in public without anyone else being the wiser for it.

Not so sure about other cultures but going out to a club here with friends usually entails grabbing a table, which usually have 6-8 chairs, as your "base camp". But such is the social nature of such venues, people are coming and going all the time - to the bar or toilets, dance floor, mingling with others or others mingling here etc. So you don't always get to keep "your" vacated chair....

This is the most common (public) circumstance of my girl needing to initially squat down next to me. More often than not if I then couldn't get her a chair, I'd simply make a bit of leg room and pull her onto my lap. Yeah, she's then taller but A), the initial protocol has been fulfilled and B), anyone sitting on *my* lap is NOT in a position of power over me. As opposed to say, a Domme using her male sub as furniture in the same circumstances. I definitely would not approve of my girl then conducting a conversation with a 3rd person while sitting on my lap - as that Domme might naturally do.

Your own comments are interesting in themself.... I'm not just "maintaining a chunk of responsibility for the protocol instead of leaving it up to the girl", I'm running the show. As I said earlier, the girl gets her cues from me. And for that, I've mostly drawn on my own life experiences, including the countless times a vanilla partner has accused me of being some sorta control freak (gasp)! And yeah, I probably was - just didn't know at the time that mostly, I had the wrong type of partner.

Errrm, (disclaimer alert) technically, I also get cues from her if she's doing something I don't approve of, or it happens to be cool, inspired or hot etc. But overall, I'm responsible for how our relationship dynamics are conducted. I lead, she follows. So if she's being unusually bratty, for example, one of the first things I consider is whether I've been letting things slip, lately. A reality check....

And gawd, I really *don't* miss clubbing in my old age.... lol

Focus.

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Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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Post #: 19

RE: Posture training.. - 11/25/2011 3:50:40 PM

poise

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Thank you for sharing this with the board, Focus.
It was a very refreshing and thought provoking read.

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