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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/27/2011 1:12:31 AM   
CoreFocus


Posts: 62
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quote:

RE: Is BDSM a choice?

I think we are who we are....and that might fit into the roles BDSm has.
But to be honest....I probably would never have been in this lifestyle when I hadn't discovered it on the web.
Partly choice/luck..partly who we are.

(in reply to Btono)
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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/27/2011 12:25:48 PM   
Epytropos


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Status: offline 		Nothing is choice. Free will is in opposition to both causality and quantum probability. I realize this sounds like sophistry, but it's highly applicable - there is no practical difference between heredity, genetics, nature, nurture, choice, or whatever else. None of it is substantively different. It all comes from causality, much of which we can trace through chemistry and the rest of which can be drawn a priori.


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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/27/2011 12:28:05 PM   
willbeurdaddy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

. Free will is in opposition to both causality and quantum probability.


Not even close to correct.

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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/27/2011 1:13:26 PM   
Soyokaze


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Status: offline 		I like to think given our genetics, experiences, and current environment the choices we make are predictable. Not in the sense that someone else could predict them reliably, but that if you could rewind time and go through it again it would happen the same over and over. Looking at it that way it's not really a choice, but thinking like that is all pseudo-sciency anyway. That doesn't absolve someone from the responsibility of their choices though.

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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/27/2011 1:38:56 PM   
Epytropos


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quote:

ORIGINAL: willbeurdaddy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

. Free will is in opposition to both causality and quantum probability.


Not even close to correct.


You make a compelling point, sir. You are clearly a gentleman of impressive learning and penetrating insight.


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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/27/2011 1:41:36 PM   
willbeurdaddy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

quote:

ORIGINAL: willbeurdaddy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

. Free will is in opposition to both causality and quantum probability.


Not even close to correct.


You make a compelling point, sir. You are clearly a gentleman of impressive learning and penetrating insight.



And you clearly dont understand quantum mechanics and the wave function.

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Hear the lark
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to the barking of the dogfox,
gone to ground.

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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/27/2011 2:01:26 PM   
Moonhead


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Status: offline 		Neither do you, dear, but that doesn't shut you up dragging threads off topic blathering nonsense about it, does it?

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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/27/2011 3:40:33 PM   
kalikshama


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quote:

ORIGINAL: willbeurdaddy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

quote:

ORIGINAL: willbeurdaddy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

. Free will is in opposition to both causality and quantum probability.


Not even close to correct.


You make a compelling point, sir. You are clearly a gentleman of impressive learning and penetrating insight.



And you clearly dont understand quantum mechanics and the wave function.


"You're wrong" adds nothing to the discussion. I'm interested in hearing why you think he's wrong.

(in reply to willbeurdaddy)
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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/27/2011 10:27:17 PM   
GimpinDenial


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/20/2008
Status: offline 		(OP, technically....in this sense, the use of hereditary and genetic are defined as one in the same.)


Japanese women are known for their women to be submissive throughout history.
The question is, was that acquired because that is how they were raised or was it inherited much in the same sense that a bad smell instills danger?

Personally; I think it is a mixture of genetics, upbringing and lastly........a personal choice.
The stereotype that Japanese women are submissive is quickly dwindling as more women each generation rise to a more dominant role.

Fun fact from my life... my mother explored the lifestyle and became a dominant after I told her about myself.


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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/28/2011 8:25:45 AM   
submaleinuk


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Joined: 10/12/2011
Status: offline 		I think people can change, justlook at the waypeople argue on here, it's always people talking at each other ormtrying to dominate or put the other person down, I having therapy for bdsm at the minute and i realise the now how it works.

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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/28/2011 8:27:22 AM   
submaleinuk


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Status: offline 		For example ialways liked it but it's always angered me that it has, I've never expressed that anger, it's always been there deep down, due to how I was brought up, I now need to learn to get it out ofme

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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/28/2011 8:41:41 AM   
submaleinuk


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Status: offline 		I also don't agree with people who say it's who you are. It isn't for me, I just used it to numb my feelings, I don't believe many people are born to be humiliated or degraded, I believe for some it's just all they know, if it was who I really was why do I feel angry if I'm dominated?

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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/28/2011 9:10:14 AM   
bighappygoth39


Posts: 633
Joined: 10/7/2009
Status: offline 		I feel that once you've decided where your sexual preferences lie, it then becomes a choice of how you incorporate that into your life. A lot of people choose not to address it, which can then become a problem if the preference develops into a deep seated need. I've chatted to a few people who were in the middle of that dilemma.

If you're fighting against the inner sub or dom, then I should imagine it could cause a few problems. Luckily, I've never had that, as it was pretty much inevitable that I was going to turn out the way I have, just thinking back to how I was when I was a kid.

So, I'm not fully sure it would be genetic, but I can say that choice would follow acceptance, imo.

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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/28/2011 9:17:53 AM   
MasterSlaveLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleinuk

I think people can change, justlook at the waypeople argue on here, it's always people talking at each other ormtrying to dominate or put the other person down, I having therapy for bdsm at the minute and i realise the now how it works.

For example i always liked it but it's always angered me that it has, I've never expressed that anger, it's always been there deep down, due to how I was brought up, I now need to learn to get it out of me

I also don't agree with people who say it's who you are. It isn't for me, I just used it to numb my feelings, I don't believe many people are born to be humiliated or degraded, I believe for some it's just all they know, if it was who I really was why do I feel angry if I'm dominated?



Uhhh... you do realize that, unlike you, not all are "angered" when dominated, or partake in a Power Dynamic to "numb feelings", right?!!

Ya might wanna increase those "therapy" sessions.




< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 11/28/2011 9:20:50 AM >

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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/28/2011 9:19:40 AM   
Arienos


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quote:

ORIGINAL: willbeurdaddy
ORIGINAL: Epytropos
ORIGINAL: willbeurdaddy
ORIGINAL: Epytropos

"Free will is in opposition to both causality and quantum probability."
"Not even close to correct."
"You make a compelling point, sir. You are clearly a gentleman of impressive learning and penetrating insight."
"And you clearly dont understand quantum mechanics and the wave function."
"You're wrong" adds nothing to the discussion. I'm interested in hearing why you think he's wrong."

What say either or both of you, in terms of an explanation as to the principles of quantum?

(in reply to kalikshama)
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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/28/2011 10:22:01 AM   
submaleinuk


Posts: 19
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Status: offline 		Well I am, I'm sure I'm not the only one

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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/28/2011 10:25:32 AM   
Piercemenow


Posts: 13
Joined: 10/24/2011
Status: offline 		I tried staying away for a while, but the compulsion became enormous. I really wonder if it is a choice.

(in reply to caelestis)
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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/28/2011 10:53:45 AM   
submaleinuk


Posts: 19
Joined: 10/12/2011
Status: offline 		At least your honest about it piercemenow, maybe look into seeing a therapist? I honestly believe being dominated and humiliated is the most damaging think for the mind that there is.

(in reply to Piercemenow)
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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/28/2011 12:15:26 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleinuk

I honestly believe being dominated and humiliated is the most damaging think for the mind that there is.







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It's only kinky the first time!!!

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RE: Is BDSM a choice? - 11/28/2011 12:19:57 PM   
MadamDouceVoix


Posts: 17
Joined: 11/23/2011
Status: offline 		As a child I was physically and emotionally abused by My mother. I went on in My early and late teens to gravitate towards men and women who mirrored her behavior with the added facet of sexual abuse. For a long time I didn't know how to and felt I didn't need to differentiate between pain and love. I programmed Myself to enjoy pain, physically and mentally, thereby de-powering My aggressors. By the time I met someone who loved Me gently and less violently, I was too warped to be receptive. So, here we are...I upped the ante and began living life, initially as a switch and them finally, a Domme. I enjoy who I am now but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious every now and then as to what I would have been like were I not so terribly manipulated in My youth.

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