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SuzeQ -> RE: Finding whats best for US (11/23/2011 5:02:51 PM)
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You're looking for a bisexual female submissive willing to join you and your wife on a long term basis, correct? Well, a "unicorn" is a bisexual female submissive willing to join an established couple on a long term basis. Sound familiar? So just relax, you are unicorn hunters. There's no shame in that, the term isn't meant to be derogatory in the least, it refers to the difficulty in finding such a creature that is compatible with you and your wife.
I really have no idea how you would go about finding such a person, but I can give you some advice based on our personal experiences. There are 4 of us in Haytch House: a switch, a dominant, a submissive, and a slave. And we all met in perfectly innocent vanilla situations. Only one of us really knew anything about BDSM, or M/s, or any of the Dom/sub stuff when we met. We started out as three women with a common partner, and now we are a fully integrated and functioning D/s quad household.
So, my advice is to focus your efforts, not on finding a submissive bisexual who happens to be a woman, but to look for a woman who happens to be a submissive bisexual. By this I mean you should worry about meeting women with whom you are mutually romantically attracted, then worry about if she is submissive and poly.
Your first question shouldn't be "Will she join US?", but rather "Do we want HER to join us?" Do you see the difference? The mutual attraction has to be there or all the rest is meaningless, so find that first, then look at whether or not poly is an option. Heather made a good thread on this concept in the poly forum, here's a link to it: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3821031/tm.htm
Good luck you two, and remember its called polyAMORY for a reason. Find the love, and let the rest take care of itself.
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