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RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 5:17:27 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Dear Santa,

Please send me a portable dishwasher. I'm a lazy subbie. Also, a switch in my stocking would be so much better than the coal I got last year.


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Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 5:20:46 PM   
naughtynicesanta


Posts: 74
Joined: 11/24/2011
Status: offline
quote:

Oh and Santa please bring my friend Poohbear enough bubblewrap to keep her safe.
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheFireWithinMe
AOh and Santa please bring my friend Poohbear enough bubblewrap to keep her safe. little bit of sanity would be nice. Oh and a beating or two wouldn't be turned away. Oh and sex, it's been....a while. All in the packaging of a wonderful romantic sadistic bastard.

thanks in advance,

Fire

quote:

Oh and Santa please bring my friend Poohbear enough bubblewrap to keep her safe.

Fire, You're a very good girl in asking Santa to help your friend Poohbear.  I know she's prone to injuring herself in the silliest of ways, and I"ll ensure she gets all the bubblewrap she needs. 

As for your request, well, you can be a brat at times, but basically a good kinkster.  I'm trying to find you a good man, but, once again, they seem to be hard to find.  And of course, there's that *thing* with Mrs S and her problems with the nog.  She keeps burning the good men she's baking, so they got out in the trash but a few of the underbaked ones have gotten away, so you have to be careful of them.

I know you'll find one that will be all yours.  After all, Poohbear and DaddysRedHead were able to find their men by chance and starting out as friends.  Yes, fellow posters, Santa follows the boards year-round under his uber-disguise.  If I can get Mrs Santa on the wagon, then she'll be able to bake a perfect man just for you and you'll end up finding each other.  But please don't stop searching yourself.  You just never who will pop up out of the blue and surprise you.

You'll get the beatings you so want, and also all the sex you can stand.  Give Santa time to find him for you.  He doesn't want you to settle, he wants you to get the man of your dreams who'll fulfill your every wish and realize what a prize he's getting in you.

You have a good heart my dear, Santa knows this well, and the man of your dreams will come around.  After all, you have to believe Santa don't you?

(in reply to TheFireWithinMe)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 5:30:07 PM   
naughtynicesanta


Posts: 74
Joined: 11/24/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheFireWithinMe
Oh and Santa please bring my friend Poohbear enough bubblewrap to keep her safe.

Awww thankee Fire.  Lots and lots of bubble wrap please Santa, but I need to be able to leave 3 openings *blink*blink*

And dear Santa please be really nice to my chiquita Fire, find her a good man who'll be good to her and give her the beatings she so wants.  She's been good all year, I promise she has.

Tazzy,  apparently I'm now considered the Canuck Holly.  I'm especially clumsy and have hurt myself rather seriously hurt myself in the last month and 1/2 or so. 

Poohbear, I know how much you need the bubble wrap.  Any more injuries and you'll end up in the hospital or the looney bin.  I haven't quite decided which one yet.  You've also been a good girl, so your wish will be granted.  Please be more careful though, I'd miss you on the boards. 

I also have to  tell you that you got a really good Man.  Treat him with the respect and honour he deserves.  He really cares for you, and Santa's glad you found each other.  Never forget that he cares for you very much and holds your heart in his hands with much tenderness, as do you.

Now if I can keep Mrs S away from the bubblewrap.  She has a tendency to play with the bubbles and pop them when she starts hittin the 'nog too hard.  I'm telling you, it's hard to hide from her.  She has a big nose for snooping and finds it when I hide it.  And you can't replace it with just 'nog, no booze, she can smell the stuff a foot away and gets out the rolling pin.  Jeeesh, no wonder I need such a hat, I have bumps all over my skull.  I may even have met PoohBear at one of many hospitals she's frequented.  But she wouldn't have recognized me, I was in my out-of-season disguise at the time. 

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 5:38:10 PM   
naughtynicesanta


Posts: 74
Joined: 11/24/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom
I already talked to Santa in the mall!

TFB,  I hate to disappoint you, but that was one of my helpers.  Since I can't be in every mall at the same time, I have to send out some of my taller elves to help all the UMs and others who want to tell Santa about their Christmas list.  Then they report back to Mrs Santa.  I have to be careful when I get the information from her, she's also started to eat the fruitcake soaked in rum that's been sitting here for about 15 yrs.  She's even more soused than the eggnog makes her.

I promise everyone that once Christmas is over, I'll be admitting her to the Fetty Bord Center once things calm down so she can go through re-hab again.  Let's hope no one sneaks her any rum balls this try.  I swear she's got a hold over the elves, and they refuse to tell me what it is.

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 5:49:47 PM   
naughtynicesanta


Posts: 74
Joined: 11/24/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Dear Santa, I am very displeased with you! I sat on your lap and told you what I wanted for Christmas and I know I don't have a chimney, but you didn't even try to give me what I wanted! I realize since I didn't get a bag of coal, that I hadn't been a bad girl, so why didn't I get the simple things I so wanted for Christmas? I wasn't being selfish. What I wanted would have helped a lot of people in my household. How hard is it to send some tools? I mean I would even take used ones from your factory.

Someone mentioned that I might not have been sitting on the lap of the real Santa. If this is true, please forgive my upset and could you please tell me how it is I can sit on your lap for realz? And please do something about those fake Santa's because that last guy got a boner and I wasn't quite sure what to do about that! Do you ever get boners when us big girls sit on your lap and does this have any effect upon our getting lumps of coal, not what we want or what we want? It really didn't work for me the last time.

Help me Santa... please... I have been very good this year! (Don't believe those that will say I haven't been good. I wouldn't sit on their lap and they are just mad!)

Lockit,  I hate to disappoint, but like I told TFB, that was one of my helpers.  Believe me, I'll look into the situation very seriously and admonish the elf for the boner.  I was going to turn them into eunuchs, but they threatened mutiny, so I had to back down.  And for some strange unknown reason, Mrs S wouldn't let me do that to  them.  Wait, I wonder what she does when I'm busy flying all over the world on Christmas night?  Oy Vey, she may need more than the Fetty Bord clinic.  I'll have to check for sex addiction clinics too since I'm now thinking a lot of AAA and AA batteries are going missing and I keep finding the packaging hidden all over our bedroom.  

I promise to get you some tools this year, it's not too much to ask.  And the elves used theirs year round, so you should be receiving new tools.  I'll try to arrange a special meeting with you Christmas Eve so that you can sit in the real Santa's lap, but I have to keep it a seeeekret from Mrs S.  She's got a jealous streak a mile wide and pretty good aim with that rolling pin even if she's drunk as a skunk.

I know you've been a good girl.  All those men are just jealous that you refuse to sit on anyone by my lap, and that's understandable.  I'm a secret crush for many women who want to sit in the real Santa's lap.  Will you get upset if I get a boner when you sit with me?  I sure don't want to have to leave you a lump of coal.  You don't have to touch it or anything, just sit there quietly.  I've got enough lap for you to cuddle into quite comfortably.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 5:57:40 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynicesanta

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom
I already talked to Santa in the mall!

TFB,  I hate to disappoint you, but that was one of my helpers.  Since I can't be in every mall at the same time, I have to send out some of my taller elves to help all the UMs and others who want to tell Santa about their Christmas list.  Then they report back to Mrs Santa.  I have to be careful when I get the information from her, she's also started to eat the fruitcake soaked in rum that's been sitting here for about 15 yrs.  She's even more soused than the eggnog makes her.

I promise everyone that once Christmas is over, I'll be admitting her to the Fetty Bord Center once things calm down so she can go through re-hab again.  Let's hope no one sneaks her any rum balls this try.  I swear she's got a hold over the elves, and they refuse to tell me what it is.



I'll tell you what it is Santa, the elves are her subs. Suprise! Sounds like you'd better try spending a little more time with the little lady, or there may be hell to pay! BTW, quit diddling those reindeer, will you? Bestiality is illegal, but surely you knew that, yes?!

(in reply to naughtynicesanta)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 5:58:26 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		If I were sitting on Santa's lap I can think of nothing that I would truly have to ask for. I suppose I would be distracted by the feel of his soft, red suit up against my legs, and the feel of his strong, gloved hands spreading my thighs apart as he whispers in my ear "What do you deserve?" If his fingers were to start to caress me as I tightened into him, wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders, grinding my thighs around his strong, unyielding arms and feeling the brush of his beard against my cheek, I can't imagine that anything that I would start to beg for would be anything that could be delivered in a box under a tree.

Or, I would love a Starbucks gift card. I am dying for a mocha right now.

(in reply to naughtynicesanta)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 5:58:42 PM   
naughtynicesanta


Posts: 74
Joined: 11/24/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ashjor911
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
... Please send me a fat bank account and a slim body....

And dont get the confused like you did last year.

Dear Santa
after you are done with tazzygirl, could you send me her address let us split that fat account
Oh I almost forget, & greedyTop phone number

I apologize Ashjor, but I can't send out private information about any of the people on my seeeekret Santa list.  There's confidentiality, lawsuits, lawyers to think about.  It wouldn't look good if Santa was sued by either Tazzy or Greedy, the scandal could be disastrous.  Santa Credo # (1) Thou Shalt Not Reveal Any Personal Information On His Naughty N Nice List.

And if I give someone a gift, it's up to them to decide if they want to share the wealth.  I can't make anyone do so.  It's in the Santa Credo, # (2) Thou Shalt Not Make Anyone Share Their Gift.  They Have To Approve It On Their Own.  (This is for the adults, after all we have to teach UMs to share their gifts with other UMs so they grow up to be responsible adults).

(in reply to ashjor911)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 5:59:45 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynicesanta

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Dear Santa, I am very displeased with you! I sat on your lap and told you what I wanted for Christmas and I know I don't have a chimney, but you didn't even try to give me what I wanted! I realize since I didn't get a bag of coal, that I hadn't been a bad girl, so why didn't I get the simple things I so wanted for Christmas? I wasn't being selfish. What I wanted would have helped a lot of people in my household. How hard is it to send some tools? I mean I would even take used ones from your factory.

Someone mentioned that I might not have been sitting on the lap of the real Santa. If this is true, please forgive my upset and could you please tell me how it is I can sit on your lap for realz? And please do something about those fake Santa's because that last guy got a boner and I wasn't quite sure what to do about that! Do you ever get boners when us big girls sit on your lap and does this have any effect upon our getting lumps of coal, not what we want or what we want? It really didn't work for me the last time.

Help me Santa... please... I have been very good this year! (Don't believe those that will say I haven't been good. I wouldn't sit on their lap and they are just mad!)

Lockit,  I hate to disappoint, but like I told TFB, that was one of my helpers.  Believe me, I'll look into the situation very seriously and admonish the elf for the boner.  I was going to turn them into eunuchs, but they threatened mutiny, so I had to back down.  And for some strange unknown reason, Mrs S wouldn't let me do that to  them.  Wait, I wonder what she does when I'm busy flying all over the world on Christmas night?  Oy Vey, she may need more than the Fetty Bord clinic.  I'll have to check for sex addiction clinics too since I'm now thinking a lot of AAA and AA batteries are going missing and I keep finding the packaging hidden all over our bedroom.  

I promise to get you some tools this year, it's not too much to ask.  And the elves used theirs year round, so you should be receiving new tools.  I'll try to arrange a special meeting with you Christmas Eve so that you can sit in the real Santa's lap, but I have to keep it a seeeekret from Mrs S.  She's got a jealous streak a mile wide and pretty good aim with that rolling pin even if she's drunk as a skunk.

I know you've been a good girl.  All those men are just jealous that you refuse to sit on anyone by my lap, and that's understandable.  I'm a secret crush for many women who want to sit in the real Santa's lap.  Will you get upset if I get a boner when you sit with me?  I sure don't want to have to leave you a lump of coal.  You don't have to touch it or anything, just sit there quietly.  I've got enough lap for you to cuddle into quite comfortably.



Hahahaha! I just snorted coffee out my nose. Thanks Santa. You is one funny fool! How clever a writer you are.

(in reply to naughtynicesanta)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 6:01:14 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

If I were sitting on Santa's lap I can think of nothing that I would truly have to ask for. I suppose I would be distracted by the feel of his soft, red suit up against my legs, and the feel of his strong, gloved hands spreading my thighs apart as he whispers in my ear "What do you deserve?" If his fingers were to start to caress me as I tightened into him, wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders, grinding my thighs around his strong, unyielding arms and feeling the brush of his beard against my cheek, I can't imagine that anything that I would start to beg for would be anything that could be delivered in a box under a tree.

Or, I would love a Starbucks gift card. I am dying for a mocha right now.


Hot stuff, girl. Nicely done!

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 6:20:54 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
quote:

Tazzy,  apparently I'm now considered the Canuck Holly.  I'm especially clumsy and have hurt myself rather seriously hurt myself in the last month and 1/2 or so. 


Can you at least cook? I need someway to distinguish you from Holly.

Yup Tazzy, I can cook.  Quite the good one too.  And I'm an even better baker.  I can promise I've never burned down my kitchen or made meatloaf that was considered a WMD.  Although I attempted to make bagels once, and they would have served well as hockey pucks.  So no more trying to make anything with yeast anymore.  Not unless I take lessons.  Tried soda bread once, and it was oozing out in big bubbles out of the pan.  So that's off limits too.


_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

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(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 6:41:36 PM   
naughtynicesanta


Posts: 74
Joined: 11/24/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Winterapple
Dear Santa
I've been a very good girl this year.
I only want two things.
To know it when I hear it and a
chemistry set.
I'll leave your favorite cookies for you
and treats for the reindeer and elves.
Love and here's hoping,
Apple

Apple,  you are indeed a sweetie.  Santa always appreciates treats being left, and you're considerate enough to leave treats for the reindeer and the elves.  They'll be very happy about them.  Without their help, I couldn't deliver the gifts on time.  You will get what you asked for.  I promise.  And indeed, you have been a very good girl this year.

(in reply to Winterapple)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 6:52:39 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline 		Zelda has a request.



_____________________________

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(in reply to naughtynicesanta)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 6:56:23 PM   
naughtynicesanta


Posts: 74
Joined: 11/24/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr
Dear Santa,

The holiday season isn't a pleasant one for me this year. I'm sure you're aware of my worries.

All I really want for Christmas is for my steph-kids to survive the custody period with their mother.
Please let her new fiancee stay sober enough so that they don't need to watch him beat up and try to kill their mother again.
Please let social services find enough evidence during the upcoming visit so that we will finally be able to take legal action and have them safe.

With a heavy hearth,

Ishtar

My dearest Ishtar,  Santa is well aware of the problems you are having this year.  And he is saddened by the fact that those children are indeed suffering through what should not be.  I will do my utmost to make sure things get resolved for you and you husband, as well as his UMs.  Know that I'm sending gentle hugs, happy thoughts and much love your way.

Had I a way of lifting that heavy burden from you and taking it upon myself, I would do so in a heartbeat.  Just remember that we are never given more than we can handle.  Although this may sound trite to you at the moment, it's the truth.  One I really believe in. 

Things will get better, social services will intervene and find the evidence needed so that the UMs are well taken care of by you and their loving dad, your husband.  Know that the CM community on this side is pulling for you, you are part of the family we've made for ourselves. May you be one day able to spend a peaceful life and embrace the step-UMs and give them all the love they need and deserve.

My best wishes go out to you and yours in these troubling times.

Santa

(in reply to Ishtarr)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 6:59:32 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		Dear Santa:

I am not able to quite tell you what I want.  I want a man that appreciates BBW and understands how I am.  I need bubblewrap like Poohbear, especially around my head (been losing teeth).  I need some tools so Mom and I don't have to depend on our neighbors or my brother to get the simplest things done (on laying the floor down Mom is set in her ways and wants to do things HER way).   I do wish that my disability checks had more funds on them, but I have this nasty habit called Ebay.  As far as I know, there is no rehab for that (but I get such great deals!).  I wish we had a bigger trailer (3bd) so I can convert one bedroom to a library/craft room.  I just recently lost a tooth so I am having to save monies up (after Ikkicon) for a partial.

Better yet, have the dentist give me the partial on payment plans.  I just want that cool tool that can cut tile and flooring (or a miter saw), a power tool set and a macho man who thinks that I have no idea how to do DIY.  Let him do the work and I just brew up the iced tea for him and jiggle my titties off and on.


_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to naughtynicesanta)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 7:00:18 PM   
naughtynicesanta


Posts: 74
Joined: 11/24/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poise
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata
Dear Santa,

This was sent to me by mistake, so I am taking this opportunity to forward it to you:

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Dear Kirata Santa,

I have been a very good girl this year so far. May I please have one of these for Christmas? Pretty please?!

thebestestgoodestgirlever,

poise

I will vouch for her.

Kirata

Thank you ever so kindly Santa Kirata.
I shall try really really hard to remain vouchable for the next 31 days

And Santa, if you can't see to it to grant my wish, can you please at least fulfill everyone elses.

Dear Poise,  indeed you are a breath of fresh air.  Your first wish has already been granted and I promise to do my best to fulfill everyone elses wishes also.  You bring joy and laughter to these boards, and are beloved by any number of people.  You show patience and understanding at all times.  You rarely lose your cool and are the best.

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 7:07:19 PM   
naughtynicesanta


Posts: 74
Joined: 11/24/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
Dear Santa,

I'd like to co-sign Ishtarr's wishlist.
And while you'rre putting together Fire's romantic sadistic bastard, would you mind putting together one more? Thannkies. :p

The goodest goodlier of the good,
LillyBoPeep

Lilly,  I thank you for your generosity in co-signing Ishtar's wish list.  I will do my damndest to grant it.  No UM should be unhappy at this time of year, or any other time for that matter.  You, my dear, have a huge loving heart.

As for your wish, Mrs S is working on good Men for the ladies here who are looking for their perfect matches.  I'm trying very hard to get her off the 'nog and keep her away from the rum soaked fruitcake and the rum balls.  But the elves seem to be on her side.  Yeeesh, going to have to reign the lil woman in. 

She's been burning the good ones she's baked for the last few weeks, and she's getting crankier when i take away the eggnog and the other items.  I have to watch for that rolling pin, she's really accurate with it.  She was at least in a good enough mood tonight to take my new picture that you see, and I've had to promise her some *ahem* action later.  Apparently the mistle toe turns her on.  I think I'm in for quite the night.  As long as I can keep her quiet and not have the elves or the reindeer hear us, especially poor Rudolph, then it's all good.  Otherwise we'll be in trouble in the morning and have some major 'splainin' to do Loooooocy.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 7:14:36 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Ohhhhhhh Santa...

Oops...

I claim eating too much turkey today!

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 11/24/2011 7:16:28 PM >

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to naughtynicesanta)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 7:17:40 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynicesanta

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
... Please send me a fat bank account and a slim body....

And dont get the confused like you did last year.

Dear Tazzy,
I'm sorry about the confusion last year.  I have so many kinksters on my list, and I'm getting a little old, gray moments you know.  And all those hits on the head from the Mrs, well, that doesn't help the memory either. 

I'll do my best to fulfill your wish.  But Santa isn't made of money you know.  Maybe a couple of lottery tickets would help?



I only need one ticket... with the winning number... and mine being the only winning ticket.

Thats not too much to ask for.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to naughtynicesanta)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Dear Santa - 11/24/2011 7:20:01 PM   
Ishtarr


Posts: 1130
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

I only need one ticket... with the winning number... and mine being the only winning ticket.

Thats not too much to ask for.


I keep telling the clerk that, and he keeps giving me the wrong one.
Evil fucker...

_____________________________


Du blutest für mein Seelenheil
Ein kleiner Schnitt und du wirst geil
Egal, erlaubt ist, was gefällt

Ich tu' dir weh.
Tut mir nicht Leid!
Das tut dir gut.
Hör wie es schreit!

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 60
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