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PeonForHer -> RE: What is the deal with "worthless/pathetic" (11/24/2011 3:12:15 PM)
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Hello Sea, damned good to see you again . . . .
quote:
From the submissive's perspective, this expression may or may not accompany low self esteem. It could simply be a construct where the submissive does not truly believe self to be pathetic. It could be a way to put self in a vulnerable position for sake of masochistic gratification without adverse consequence. Or it could be that this expression accompanies low self esteem and it is a way to each make the SM feel more real and to confront a vulnerability, much like how one might do with small penis humiliation or race play. I have no informed comment about whether the latter form is healthy or not.
I think that one of the underlying dilemmas that's key to this is that thrown up by a roughly psychoanalytic view of the mind on the one hand, or a roughly behaviouristic view on the other.
In that first view, you have some kind or another of psychic energy that builds up and needs to be released, under control, and in a safe way. It's a 'pressure-cooker' view of the psyche. Thus, say, a femdom who humiliates you within pre-agreed, safe boundaries, is a bit like the valve of that pressure cooker. She helps you to let off steam in a controlled way. You get humiliated, and you enjoy it. And afterwards, you have less of an ongoing urge to humiliate yourself, in ways that are not controlled, not enjoyable, and possibly harmful.
In the behaviouristic view, though, the basic theory and the indications flowing from it are entirely the opposite. Humiliation of any kind simply reinforces humiliation. A woman tells you that you're a worm, then you just feel yourself to be more of a worm, and that's that. Worse, because you're getting a sexual buzz from being called a worm, the reinforcement of that belief is all the stronger. A pleasurable feeling attached to an idea will strengthen that idea.
Evidence for either of these basic psychological views is sparse and what there is of it is disputed. For instance, I heard recently of a study that appeared to show that punching pillows (or other inanimate objects) doesn't actually release aggressive feelings, it actually makes them stronger. On the other hand, I also read recently of a test that seemed to show that there was no measurable effect in adults of violent feelings after playing violent video games.
Most boringly of all, I suppose, is the hypothesis that neither one of these views is correct. That, for instance, if you get off on being humiliated - or you enjoy getting off on humiliating someone else - then it may not make any long term difference whatsoever to your mental health. That's notwithstanding the obvious point that . . . it's usually considered pretty therapeutic to get enjoyable buzzes frequently, rather than rarely or not at all. All the shrinks of whatever flavour seem to be agreed on that, at least.
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