The 213 things Scipio is not allowed to do in the Roman Army

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The 213 things Scipio is not allowed to do in the Roman... - 11/24/2011 8:25:03 PM

Aylee

Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
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This amused me.

Not allowed to hold rituals for Mithras when I'm supposed to be on duty.

Must never call a Spartan Hoplite a "Wanker."

Must not show up drunk wearing woad, even if my commander did it.

Must not flaunt the chain of command's deviances in front of the Athenians.

Must not shout, "MOLON LABE!" on the javelin range.

Sacrificing goats should only be done under supervision of the priests.

I may not trade Etruscan children to the Greeks.

Even if their shields are better than ours.

"Point and laugh," while amusing, is not an effective tactic against charging hordes of naked Celts.

I am not to make comments about snails and oysters.

I may not attach scythes to chariot wheels. That only works in the legends.

I should never tell a Theban to "bugger off."

Not allowed to call Praetorian Guard "redheaded lutefisk licking barbarians" even it is true.

"I am not allowed to decimate recruits for training purposes."

May not ask top if I can borrow his galea when he gigs me for unpolished sandals.

Not allowed to throw dice to choose which Emperor to support.

Ballista should not be used to launch squirrels.

Likewise, ballista should not be used to launch badgers, hedgehogs, otters or other small, furry animals.

Not allowed to make the Gaul's escargot recipe, with the Emperor's purple-dye snails.

Not allowed to ask Jewish slaves if they prefer the Judean Peoples Front or the Peoples
Front of Judea

Not allowed to "correct" rebellious graffiti

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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

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RE: The 213 things Scipio is not allowed to do in the R... - 11/25/2011 4:13:21 AM

calamitysandra

Posts: 1682
Joined: 3/17/2006
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Very funny!

Do you have a link to the rest of the list?

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(in reply to Aylee)

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RE: The 213 things Scipio is not allowed to do in the R... - 11/25/2011 4:35:02 AM

Aylee

Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: calamitysandra

Very funny!

Do you have a link to the rest of the list?

That is all the guy has done so far on the list. http://www.michaelzwilliamson.com/index.php

The list showed up on Baen's web forum. If you really need a link to it, you will have to sign up with www.bar.baen.com Additional readers have added more.

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to calamitysandra)

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RE: The 213 things Scipio is not allowed to do in the R... - 11/25/2011 5:15:35 AM

MrRodgers

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These rank right up there with the reality of Roman leaders and their craziness. For example...Elagabalus actually making ‘cabinet’ appts. by the size of their cocks or devolve under psychopaths like a Commodus who decapitated animals parading their heads around threatening all with such a fate if they didn’t kiss Emperor ass ?

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RE: The 213 things Scipio is not allowed to do in the R... - 11/25/2011 5:43:55 AM

Aylee

Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

These rank right up there with the reality of Roman leaders and their craziness. For example...Elagabalus actually making ‘cabinet’ appts. by the size of their cocks or devolve under psychopaths like a Commodus who decapitated animals parading their heads around threatening all with such a fate if they didn’t kiss Emperor ass ?

These rank right up there with the lists of "Things PFC Skippy is no longer allowed to do."

It is a joke, on a joke.

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to MrRodgers)

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RE: The 213 things Scipio is not allowed to do in the R... - 11/25/2011 9:53:09 AM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

Ballista should not be used to launch squirrels.

Likewise, ballista should not be used to launch badgers, hedgehogs, otters or other small, furry animals.

If we're not allowed to use a ballista, can we use a trebuchet?

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Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: The 213 things Scipio is not allowed to do in the R... - 11/25/2011 11:05:04 AM

MrRodgers

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

These rank right up there with the reality of Roman leaders and their craziness. For example...Elagabalus actually making ‘cabinet’ appts. by the size of their cocks or devolve under psychopaths like a Commodus who decapitated animals parading their heads around threatening all with such a fate if they didn’t kiss Emperor ass ?

These rank right up there with the lists of "Things PFC Skippy is no longer allowed to do."

It is a joke, on a joke.

I know and it is funny Aylee but I just think there is as much humor in the reality of the craziness of Roman leaders.

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RE: The 213 things Scipio is not allowed to do in the R... - 11/25/2011 7:23:46 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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This is a hoot! My wacky ancestors...

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RE: The 213 things Scipio is not allowed to do in the R... - 11/25/2011 9:28:29 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

t be used to launch squirrels.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

This amused me.

Not allowed to hold rituals for Mithras when I'm supposed to be on duty.

Must never call a Spartan Hoplite a "Wanker."

Must not show up drunk wearing woad, even if my commander did it.

Must not flaunt the chain of command's deviances in front of the Athenians.

Must not shout, "MOLON LABE!" on the javelin range.

Sacrificing goats should only be done under supervision of the priests.

I may not trade Etruscan children to the Greeks.

Even if their shields are better than ours.

"Point and laugh," while amusing, is not an effective tactic against charging hordes of naked Celts.

I am not to make comments about snails and oysters.

I may not attach scythes to chariot wheels. That only works in the legends.

I should never tell a Theban to "bugger off."

Not allowed to call Praetorian Guard "redheaded lutefisk licking barbarians" even it is true.

"I am not allowed to decimate recruits for training purposes."

May not ask top if I can borrow his galea when he gigs me for unpolished sandals.

Not allowed to throw dice to choose which Emperor to support.

Ballista should not be used to launch squirrels.

Likewise, ballista should not be used to launch badgers, hedgehogs, otters or other small, furry animals.

Not allowed to make the Gaul's escargot recipe, with the Emperor's purple-dye snails.

Not allowed to ask Jewish slaves if they prefer the Judean Peoples Front or the Peoples
Front of Judea

Not allowed to "correct" rebellious graffiti