RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/27/2011 4:44:48 AM

Ninebelowzero

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I can get my little finger all the way up to the 2nd knuckle in my left nostril. Ahhh the joys of a badly broken nose.

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/27/2011 5:52:12 AM

MissKittyDeVine

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Is that the nasal version of fisting?

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/27/2011 6:04:25 AM

GreedyTop

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

.

I love you.

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/27/2011 6:14:56 AM

LillyBoPeep

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Haha :)
That's spectacular...

This thread reminds me of the ear sex episode of Family Guy -
"Once you go black, you go deaf."

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/27/2011 6:35:42 AM

GreedyTop

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

Is that the nasal version of fisting?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

omg, I can see the next wave in porn vids...

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/27/2011 8:20:57 AM

OttersSwim

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OMG....when we were watching Monty Python, we were watching porn?!

Who knew!?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0gzQS4w1sc

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/27/2011 8:32:43 AM

bighappygoth39

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

OMG....when we were watching Monty Python, we were watching porn?!

Who knew!?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0gzQS4w1sc

Is it sad that I know what that is before I even go on the link?

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/27/2011 5:03:34 PM

Suleiman

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Briefly going back to the subject of sounds (sorry, I just can't keep up with all the witty banter), I remembered a technique last night I learned a long time ago, for filling a soda straw with water and freezing it. With a little practice, you can get the ice out in one piece, a long thin rod of ice approximately the thickness of someone's urethra (dosen't need to be a guy's by the way). Once again, as long as you're gentle, you can get a whole soda straw's worth of ice in in one shot. Boy, that'll get a sound out of your sub, lemme tell ya. Then again, my first Mistress kept a metal gynecological speculum in the back of her freezer for the same effect.

As to the assertion of large nostrils, I always thought they were just dramatically flaring them to show contempt for the grovelling worm before them. Part of the whole image, y'know?

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/27/2011 5:15:19 PM

LillyBoPeep

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Ice?! Eeeeeeeeeeegggghhhhh!

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/27/2011 5:52:31 PM

CynthiaWVirginia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

FR

I have to say that it completely cracks me up that no-one, nobody at all, has so far argued with me on my assertion that femdoms tend to have large nostrils. I wonder how many femdoms have been scrutinising their nostrils closely in front of the mirror?!

Just waiting for one of the haughtier ones to turn up here to say "You're talking bollocks, as usual, Peon. My nostrils are of perfectly average proportions. I'm disappointed by your passive-aggressive behaviour. etc. " *Chortle*

Gawd I cannot believe I am measuring my nostril to reply to this...

Peon!!! MY NOSTRILS ARE OF PERFECTLY AVERAGE PROPORTIONS. Furthermore, the day some guy with a hard dick the girth of my pinkie finger, long as the very first knuckle... If the little bugger would DARE to try to fuck my nostril while I was sleeping I would BREAK WEE WILLIE OFF and go kicking it all around the house before backing over it repeatedly with my minivan.

(I would shove it up his arse instead, but gawd I don't want to be in the position of being asked, "Is it in yet?")

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/27/2011 8:15:35 PM

Hillwilliam

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Excuse Hillie sounding like a noob here but I have seen references to urethral dialation here. One profile actually said she could be fucked there. I'm thinking bullshit even if the guy had a micropenis.

Anyone have experience in this?

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/27/2011 10:12:32 PM

Suleiman

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Not first hand - not to the level of being fucked by anything larger than a pencil - but the flesh can be stretched like a piercing. I've seen body nmodification and read medical journals that report extremes of urethral expansion.

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/27/2011 10:55:41 PM

gungadin09

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Navel?

pam

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/28/2011 5:45:16 PM

MercTech

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Why am I reminded of the gay fellow I knew in the navy that claimed to LOVE nasal sex....

I still don't know if he was serious or just mucking with the heads of the straights.. but he sure had the largest nose I've ever seen in person.

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/29/2011 4:18:01 AM

Moonhead

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Retrousse?

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/29/2011 10:48:05 AM

Fornica

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hahahahahahahahahaha

quote:

ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia
Gawd I cannot believe I am measuring my nostril to reply to this...

Peon!!! MY NOSTRILS ARE OF PERFECTLY AVERAGE PROPORTIONS. Furthermore, the day some guy with a hard dick the girth of my pinkie finger, long as the very first knuckle... If the little bugger would DARE to try to fuck my nostril while I was sleeping I would BREAK WEE WILLIE OFF and go kicking it all around the house before backing over it repeatedly with my minivan.

(I would shove it up his arse instead, but gawd I don't want to be in the position of being asked, "Is it in yet?")

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/29/2011 11:13:31 AM

Nanako

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Excuse Hillie sounding like a noob here but I have seen references to urethral dialation here. One profile actually said she could be fucked there. I'm thinking bullshit even if the guy had a micropenis.

Anyone have experience in this?

i have seen porn of this, if that helps. a fairly normal sized penis. it is definitely possible.

there was some equipment being used to dilate her, and it looked a bit awkward.

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/29/2011 12:57:00 PM

Moonhead

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I saw a quite frightening clip of what looked like a full sized vibrating buzzcock liner* being shoved up some poor sod's Jap's eye. About five years back it was all over the internerd like "two girls one cup"...

*(The thing you stick inside a dildo to make it dance)

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/29/2011 1:12:38 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia

Gawd I cannot believe I am measuring my nostril to reply to this...

Peon!!! MY NOSTRILS ARE OF PERFECTLY AVERAGE PROPORTIONS.

I remain unconvinced, Cynthia. Send me a pic of your preferred nostril - obviously after having blown your nose first. (I don't find bogies erotically alluring, even in the most glamorous of femdoms.)

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RE: Dicks in Alternative Orifices - 11/29/2011 1:23:37 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonhead

I saw a quite frightening clip of what looked like a full sized vibrating buzzcock liner* being shoved up some poor sod's Jap's eye. About five years back it was all over the internerd like "two girls one cup"...

*(The thing you stick inside a dildo to make it dance)

A bit off the subject, Moonie, but was I right when I said, earlier, that you were in fact a big bearded bastard with an ill-fitting suit and halitosis and scuffed brown suede shoes? Your delightful partner confirmed all that, but you might feel that she was being over-complimentary . . . .

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