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LillyBoPeep -> RE: Renaming slaves (11/27/2011 2:33:42 AM)
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That's very well expressed Kirata.
I don't have any experience with having my name legally changed, and I only know of onne girl, via the webbernetz, whose name was legally changed. But when I was with M, I rarely ever heard my "real" name. It didn't make me feel bad that he hardly used it. When we'd have gotten married, my last name would've changed, so I don't really see changinng your first name as all that odd, either. I imagine it's a tedious process at other times, though.
Like littlewonder said, changing your last name at marriage is a separation from family and the past, in a way - it's just so commonplace now, most people rarely even think about it. And obviously you can still have relationships with those family members, in spite of that separation, can't you? It doesn't have to be as negative and drastic as people tend to assume it is.
M wanted to created a little separation from mine because he thought I was stuck in negative patterns with some of them. Having his outside perspective helped me understand that he was right. It wasn't about dragging me off to a dark basement never to be seen again (and while I may not be Gorean, it's annoying to me that Gor is used towards hausboy in a disparaging way), he cared about and valued family, but also cared about what we were doing together, and where our own road might take us, even if it meant leaving family behind. If we'd moved where he wanted, neither of us would hardly see our relatives, but people move far away from home everyday.
Do these things suddenly become negative ideas just because M/s might also be involved?
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