Demspotis
Posts: 61
Joined: 3/11/2005
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If I am reading this right, the conflict is between feeling an attachment to the murti (= statue or other physical form or representation of a deity) of Kali on one hand, and the Torah laws against worshipping "other gods", or for that matter, worshipping statues. I can't give firm or authoritative advice on this, not being a rabbi (nor Jewish at all, but I've gained at least some knowledge of rabbinical thought over the last few years), but I can offer a few things to think about, some of which might help.
It is possible that certain developments in the Jewish world in recent years might help to resolve this. I apologize for not having a direct link for the following information, but I read about it in several different printed magazines and papers, and heard about other articles on it, as well. Presumably they could be tracked down with a search engine. I saw at least two articles, a few months to a year apart, in Hinduism Today magazine, which has its back issues archived online.
Notably, (AFAIR) several years ago there was a conference or summit between the grand rabbinate of Israel and a group of Hindu leaders, at which it was concluded that Hindu murtis are not in fact "idols", and Hindus are not "idol-worshippers", such as are condemned in Torah. This was on the basis that Hindu theology in general (but bear in mind that Hinduism actually includes a variety of rather different theological schools) identifies their ultimate object of worship as the One Supreme Being, and the Murtis are symbolic of aspects or attributes of that One.
Unfortunately, the articles I saw were intended for lay readers, not religious scholars, and were meant for Hindus, so they weren't in depth from the Jewish side. But, I can surmise what the rabbis might have thought. Also note that I have no idea how widely known that might be in the Jewish world, nor which rabbis around the world might or might not feel bound to abide by the decisions of the Israeli rabbis involved.
One point is that the Biblical/Torah rules against "idols" were particularly formulated against the definitely polytheistic neighbors (mostly other kinds of Semites: Babylonians, Assyrians, Canaanites, Arabs, Aramaeans, etc.) of the ancient Jews, and the idols worshipped were definitely not considered forms of the One. Hinduism comes from an entirely different cultural and spiritual tradition, and in even the earliest sources (Rig Veda) it shows awareness of that One Supreme Being, alongside other, lesser divine beings. The latter are often described by modern Hindu teachers as equivalent to the angels of Judaism and its offshoots.
In Jewish terms, too, it is at least plausible to suggest identity between feminine manifestations of the One in Hinduism, such as Kali, and the Shekhinah of Jewish theology, as well as the feminine concepts found in Kabbalah.
As Kalikshama says, there is a seemingly disproportionate number of people of Jewish background involved in Eastern religions in the US. I've seen or heard of this in most of the organized groups with Western converts to Eastern religions.
In the end, you have to decide for yourself how to proceed. If I may put it in the starkest terms: if you practice Judaism, you have to consider whether this attraction to Kali Ma is truly divine in your terms, or a temptation from "sitra achra". And from the Hindu side, I know of an important spiritually pragmatic rule of thumb: accept that which enhances your connection to Divinity, and reject that which impedes it. And that can be different, even opposite, for different people.
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RE: A Jew with a choice. - 
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