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Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 11:32:52 AM   
TypeWriter


Posts: 57
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		Folks,

My delicious butterfly and I have been discussing how our BDSM works and wondering if there are others interested in the way we do things.

I consider myself a sensual dominant. I aminterested in building up and not tearing down.

I do not believe in hurting or insulting or humilating my sub. I celebrate her and raise her up.

We are not vanilla, our D/s is very mental in nature.

Are we alone here or are their others who feel this way?

M



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RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 1:04:19 PM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline 		Nope!.. I agree with you 99% and for those who know how opiniated I am that is rare! the 1% comes in regards to the hurting issue.. It should hurt so good..

Ms. Eden



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"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to TypeWriter)
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RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 1:07:35 PM   
mouseyone


Posts: 34
Joined: 10/21/2004
Status: offline 		loving, romantic, sensual....yes...but agrees that for me their has got to be that little pleasurable pain felt from a whip

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RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 1:12:26 PM   
TypeWriter


Posts: 57
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		Oh we do pleasurable pain. My butterfly positively drips when I spank her ass but there are people here into much more painful things. I am not saying they are wrong or bad jsut wondering there are people like us.



< Message edited by TypeWriter -- 10/22/2004 1:21:52 PM >

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RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 1:19:32 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Tyepwriter,
I just love that name I can't help it...hehe.

Anyway my Dom and I are most into sensual Domination. There is nothing better in my mind. However, that doesn't mean we don't like to play either.

It sounds to me(at least in my mind) you are describing exactly how a good working D/s relationship should work.
If you rip a person apart all of the time what are you doing to have left? Is it going to be worth playing with? Domination where punishment is actually for a crime so to speak. Not just because he or she likes to punish at the drop of a coin.

On a side note. I remember looking at your profile when you e-mailed me last week. I don't remember it saying at that time you had a sub. Is she new? Or am I mistaken?

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RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 1:21:03 PM   
TypeWriter


Posts: 57
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		I have been with her over three month now but sheis new to the site.

I am proud of her and put her info in my profile.

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RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 1:24:45 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I have been with her over three month now but sheis new to the site.

I am proud of her and put her info in my profile.


Congrats, get her into the boards then. Let us all meet her. Hopefully we won't be too overwhelming for her.

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RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 1:27:02 PM   
TypeWriter


Posts: 57
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		She has already been on the boards =)


She is taking it all in so well and i am so proud of her. She makes a Sensual Dom proud.

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RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 1:28:45 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		There are many people who go for the lighter aspects of D/s. The level of pain you inflict doesn't really matter since domination, at the core, is control not pain. I inflict way more pain than you do, but I do it in the same way you do.. in a loving manner. My sub is my most treasured possession. His willingness to endure the pain I need is special and a true gift. I tell him that in word and deed both in session and out. While I might call him affectionately "my sweet slut" or my "little bitch" I would never refer to him in a truly hurtful or degrading manner. The flip side of you is not so much someone who gives pain as it is the "strict and severe" type who relies on humiliation, degradation and nasty mind games such as the sub being set up to fail. I generally refer to myself as a "little bit sadistic, maternal Domme. (no, maternal doesn't have anything to do with age play or incest.. it has to do with the fact I caretake.)

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Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
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RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 1:35:35 PM   
TypeWriter


Posts: 57
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		Far too many take advantage of a desire to please or low self esteem to use subs as Dom fodder to make themselves feel better or powerful and leave emotion flotsom and jetsam in their wake...


wow a little nautical there.

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RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 1:41:17 PM   
typesgirl


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		Ugh, just when I think my Master can't get any more amazing he goes and says something like that *blush*.

To be honest, until Master guided me to this site I thought he was the only one who viewed D/s the way he does. In other places I've been made to feel that our flavor of the lifestyle is less than accepted and even looked down upon for not being "extreme" enough. It's nice to know that there are others who have a sensual, tender D/s relationship.

I also think, that the reason I got those responses is because there aren't enough Doms like Master who speak up about sensual domination as a valid form of BDSM. He can be tender and still be tough. He can love me and still discipline if need be.

I am a better ME becuase of him and his guidance and his power. And I don't think it's arrogant of me to say that my submission and surrender to him has made him a better HIM.

I'd still like to hear more about others who have been able to achieve this balance of affection and domination.

And thanks to all of you for making me feel so welcome here. I'm learning more and more everyday

Typesgirl

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RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 1:51:16 PM   
TypeWriter


Posts: 57
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		You make me so proud littleone.

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 2:18:25 PM   
jillwfsub4blkdom


Posts: 375
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		just wanted to comment that i am also into the more sensual form of D/s. i also wanted to let You know that it is wonderful seeing other people on this board from the indianapolis area. i happen to work up where You are.

jill

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"It's the moment that transcends
Our physical into a more spiritual level of understanding" - Musiq

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RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 3:13:34 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

To be honest, until Master guided me to this site I thought he was the only one who viewed D/s the way he does. In other places I've been made to feel that our flavor of the lifestyle is less than accepted and even looked down upon for not being "extreme" enough. It's nice to know that there are others who have a sensual, tender D/s relationship.


Biggest mistake I can see here is you are assuming. Never assume. There are so many thousands upon millions of us here in the US alone. We are all alike, where we may have some different interests. We still have a core basis.
I do agree, people who believe D/s on a more mental level is a bit rarer. Most are out for carnal pleasures. There are many of us out here who do see the whole scope of what it has to offer. Put it this way, I have 500 people in the group I run. Where I have not met all personally I've probably met half. Many remain online forever.
Perhaps ten are into primarily the mental. Those ones make for the most intellectual discussions. Not to say the other's don't have anything to offer. They don't tend to sit around and chat a lot.

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 3:28:35 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		Just to be contrary and because I find such semantics "interesting", I'm going to ask what "sensual domination" means. It seems to be a term that folks can toss around and then stick their nose in the air by labelling other folks as "not sensual" just because their tastes may differ. Really, doesn't it sound much more sophisticated to call oneself a "sensual submissive" instead of a "pain slut"?

For example, I might not consider a whipping or playing with needles to be sensual, but folks who like it could. How about a good mind fuck or a fear rush? Frankly, I'd guess over 90% of the folks here (forums) would probably agree that they are "sensual", though they can all have their own personal definitions of sensuality; my own guesstimate is that a minority enjoy humiliation or other stuff that might not otherwise somehow be called sensual. And then of course, you have the clueless HNGs and trolls whose fantasies are sensual only to them, but they don't count so lets ignore them.

So anyway, you can ignore my question because the answer is: sensual domination means pretty much whatever you want it to mean. Therefore, I'm not sure it is a particularly useful term.

< Message edited by happypervert -- 10/22/2004 3:37:29 PM >

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RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 7:25:57 PM   
typesgirl


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		Happypervert: I'm going to attempt to clarify what i think Master means by "sensual domination." Please bare with with me and he may offer corrections to my post but I'll give it a try.

First, I'm more than happy to conceed to your point. I'm sure everyone on this site would consider some part of what they consider BDSM to be sensual. Perhaps different terminology for what Master brings up might help.

Second, let me try to clarify or categorize a bit so folks have a little clearer picture of what Master is referring to as "sensual domination." We do not choose to partake in activities that cause pain merely for pain's sake. I am not disciplined simply for disobeying him, instead we discuss why I disobey so he can better understand why i didn't follow his instructions. I can foresee that I might earn discipline for out and out disrespect etc. but I never intend to find out =)

His goal is never to instill fear or even the slightest injury. There is never humiliation involved in our play and we always discuss a scene thoroughly before we begin.

Those are the things that are NOT a part of our relationship (although please do not take me wrong and assume that we raise our noses towards those things. we both have great respect for the choices/likes/dislikes of others and would never attempt to judge the personal tastes of others).

The things that are included in our relationship that we consider "sensual": Master respects me and my mind. My opinions count when he plans a scene and when we discuss day to day ideas. His goal in a scene is to help me move beyond my personal barriers, and these are barriers that I choose, that I want help moving beyond. We love each other in a vanilla way and find that the D/s added to our relationship heightens what we have and takes it to levels of closeness and vulnerability to each other that a simple vanilla relationship could not provide.

He does not see me as property though am eager to claim that i belong to him. I don't walk behind him. I don't sit at his feet (though i do love to sit in his lap). He selects my clothes for me becuase he likes me to look my best for him and for me not becuase he wants me to know who is in charge.i think you begin to see the pattern of the differences.

I am well aware that there are folks in the lifestyle who incorporate elements that we choose with more extreme elements as well. There is no right or wrong to this lifestyle, just tastes. We would never claim that our way is superior by any means.

I think the reason that master may have begun this thread is because there isn't a way to make a distinction between the kind of D/s He and i have and the other types that other folks here enjoy and as we attempt to meet others who live the lifestyle in a similar way to the way we do, it becomes difficult to figure out which couples do it as we do. It would be much simpler to say that Master is a "sensual dom" or some other term and have others understand what that means just as another Dom could claim to be Gorean and others would understand the implications of that as quickly.

Wow, I hope that makes sense. Can you tell I'm a PhD student?

typesgirl




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RE: Sensual Domination - 10/22/2004 10:31:36 PM   
bottominwa


Posts: 240
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		This girl's Owner also believes in mentoring and cultivation...not degredation and humiliation as a means of training. she doubts that Your realtionship is that rare as most she knows also live this way...and if they do not, there relationships generally burnt hemselves out..no one wants to be humiliated or demaned indefinitely.
Do not get her wrong, she is at times punished...but she has never been demeaned, degraded, or even called so much as the b word. In this one's Owner's opinion if one must always strong arm a girl...then there isn't alot of Mastering going on.

sabrina King

House of King

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Sensual Domination - 10/23/2004 12:48:54 AM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline 		as an aside ( and in hopes of maybe clarifying the semantics for you)

I have 2 types of canings I give

the first is my regular sadistic 'mark 'em' caning, given with pretty much full bore blows, with the intent of marking the recipient - raising welts so she will remember the caning over the next week

the second is what I refer to as a 'sensual caning' - lightly tapping on the skin, usually in time with music, and giving an occassional harder flick, but with the intention of leaving NO marks on the skin - just a nice rosy glow, enough to waken the nerve endings in the skin - almost akin to giving a massage with a cane

therefore MY take on what typewriter means when he says sensual domination is that, while he might flog his girl or pinch her nipples or whatever, he is not going to be doing it with 'full bore intensity', but more to be just enough to elicit the hoped for response - that he is not going to give pain just because it pleases him to do so (i.e. not a sadist)

<edit> And maybe relying more on commands and rituals and positions,etc. than 'discipline' in the power dynamic

Just my tuppence.

< Message edited by Thanatosian -- 10/23/2004 12:51:08 AM >

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RE: Sensual Domination - 10/23/2004 8:09:58 AM   
TypeWriter


Posts: 57
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you all for your comments. Typesgirl summed up my thoughts so perfectly. she has learned so well she makes this Dom proud.

I really wonder though how many "SEnsual Doms" there are. I have people call me everything from a poser to vanilla. I would say only 10% of the people we talk to are anything like us.

What was wondering is if maybe we shoudl set up a Sensual dominants forum?

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Sensual Domination - 10/23/2004 8:41:05 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		First typesgirl & TypeWriter, welcome to the boards. Always fun to see new people join up.

quote:

ORIGINAL: typesgirl
Second, let me try to clarify or categorize a bit so folks have a little clearer picture of what Master is referring to as "sensual domination." We do not choose to partake in activities that cause pain merely for pain's sake. I am not disciplined simply for disobeying him, instead we discuss why I disobey so he can better understand why i didn't follow his instructions. I can foresee that I might earn discipline for out and out disrespect etc. but I never intend to find out =)


I understand what it is that you are describing. I have witnessed this type of play in the past and it does have a certain energy to it that is distinct. I haven't come up with a term for it myself. However, you cannot appropriate the term sensual domination to describe this. I just won't let you ;)

By qualifying the sensual kind of domination to be what it is that you envision it to be excludes other types of domination as sensual. I’m assuming that is what HappyPervert meant. It is that position that I hold as well.

What is considered sensuality is subjective. Sensuality is so much more in the way that acts are carried out then the acts themselves. Sensuality is about the gratification of the senses.

I have a strong sadistic side. I also adore humiliation. And let me tell you it is very sensual. When I look at my partner’s face, when he or she is sitting there basking in euphoria after an intense whipping or after having been debased, I know I have stimulated their senses. I have practiced sensual domination.

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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