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Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 10:44:03 AM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		I have a question for the people with long-term partners. What regular activities do you engage in that you feel most express the d/s nature of your relationship?

(I hope the foregoing makes sense. If not, let me know and I will rephrase)
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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 10:52:42 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		I combed his hair. It let me focus all of my attention on him, and was totally non-sexual.
Either that, or massages; directing my energy to him (hopefully that doesn't sound like nutty hippy mumbo-jumbo).
Personally assisting in his sense of wellbeing. Important stuff for me.

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(in reply to Baroana)
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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 10:53:30 AM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		Thanks for the info!

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 10:53:48 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		there isn't any one specific activity. We just live life like anyone else. His dominance and my submission come across quite well in our relationship due to our personalities, not our actions. He simply is a dominant personality, he takes charge. I'm a submissive personality. I'm more than thrilled to follow.



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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 10:54:39 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		He had miles of the stuff, so it was a nice time to be quiet together. Or talk about silly stuff. :p

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Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 10:56:33 AM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

there isn't any one specific activity. We just live life like anyone else. His dominance and my submission come across quite well in our relationship due to our personalities, not our actions. He simply is a dominant personality, he takes charge. I'm a submissive personality. I'm more than thrilled to follow.




Ok, I can see that. I can see it for myself as well.

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 10:59:00 AM   
HisPet21


Posts: 395
Status: offline 		Are you asking about protocols, rituals that occur on a regular basis? Or just activities that come as a natural result of being in a D/s relationship?

(in reply to Baroana)
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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 11:01:28 AM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisPet21

Are you asking about protocols, rituals that occur on a regular basis? Or just activities that come as a natural result of being in a D/s relationship?


What I am hoping to find out is what you personally feel defines the d/s lifestyle for you, so much so that you do it on a regular basis.

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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 11:05:45 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		That's a bigger question than your original post -- "express" vs. "define"

Combing his hair, or something like that, was an expression of how I felt about him.
But DEFINING the whole lifestyle? There wasn't one single activity that did that -- we just were who we were together, and were honest and happy about it. People define, affirm, redefine and reaffirm their lifestyle every day.

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"Obey your Master." Metallica


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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 11:07:28 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I let him lead.

He decides where we're going, in what order the errands will be done. Hell, he even sets parameters for what flavor ice creams can be bought.

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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 11:10:17 AM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

That's a bigger question than your original post -- "express" vs. "define"

Combing his hair, or something like that, was an expression of how I felt about him.
But DEFINING the whole lifestyle? There wasn't one single activity that did that -- we just were who we were together, and were honest and happy about it. People define, affirm, redefine and reaffirm their lifestyle every day.


Ok, it's a loose question. I don't know if "express" or "define" is what I'm interested in the most. Run with whatever works for you.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 11:14:23 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		No worries, I'm not meaning to nitpick. I'm just really hyper and kinda overthinking. :p

Just put me in DesFIP's camp.

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"Obey your Master." Metallica


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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 11:20:11 AM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

No worries, I'm not meaning to nitpick. I'm just really hyper and kinda overthinking. :p

Just put me in DesFIP's camp.


Your point was very astute. Mostly I was just trying to get a discussion going.

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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 12:40:49 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		He says. I do.

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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 2:58:48 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		The only answer I can give is: All of them, everything. There's a thousand little things; tuna salad is made with chunks of onion in it the way Suze likes; we drink Coke not Pepsi because Hanners prefers it; when I'm watching TV and one of them joins me, I hand the remote to her; when one of them says she likes a piece of clothing or jewellery of mine, I wear it more often; showers are at the temperature they prefer them <hotter than I like for Hanners & colder than I like for Suze>; when we're out shopping, they take things off the rack and just hand them to me to carry or put in the cart; when Hanners picks up her book I turn off the TV. Its in those and a thousand other little things that nobody else would even be aware of. It permeates our lives, it is in everything we do to some degree.

(in reply to Aileen1968)
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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 3:01:31 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Now if you're talking about stuff he does that puts me immediately into a fuzzy headed submissive headspace, that's different. I feel really grounded when he has a hand on my neck. Wrapped around the back of the neck or wrapping around my throat. Being yanked backwards against him in the kitchen when he comes up quietly and puts his arm around my throat. His teeth in my neck.

All those things drop me out of an analytical thinking state into one of just feeling.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Aileen1968)
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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 7:16:47 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

The only answer I can give is: All of them, everything. There's a thousand little things; tuna salad is made with chunks of onion in it the way Suze likes; we drink Coke not Pepsi because Hanners prefers it; when I'm watching TV and one of them joins me, I hand the remote to her; when one of them says she likes a piece of clothing or jewellery of mine, I wear it more often; showers are at the temperature they prefer them <hotter than I like for Hanners & colder than I like for Suze>; when we're out shopping, they take things off the rack and just hand them to me to carry or put in the cart; when Hanners picks up her book I turn off the TV. Its in those and a thousand other little things that nobody else would even be aware of. It permeates our lives, it is in everything we do to some degree.



That's very cool. Thanks for sharing.

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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/3/2011 7:53:49 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Now if you're talking about stuff he does that puts me immediately into a fuzzy headed submissive headspace, that's different. I feel really grounded when he has a hand on my neck. Wrapped around the back of the neck or wrapping around my throat. Being yanked backwards against him in the kitchen when he comes up quietly and puts his arm around my throat. His teeth in my neck.

All those things drop me out of an analytical thinking state into one of just feeling.



Yum!

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/4/2011 12:20:51 AM   
Delilya


Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline 		Myself and my last LTR lived together for 9 years. He got home from work first and always started dinner, lit the candles, ran my bath, laid out my robe and book, got my glass of wine, turned on my music. He would wash and brush my hair, massage me, and anything else that needed to be done to help me unwind and relax after working.

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“Love me without fear, trust me without questioning, need me without demanding, want me without restrictions, accept me without changes, desire me without inhibitions"-Dick Sutphen

(in reply to Duskypearls)
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RE: Survey about habitual practices - 12/4/2011 6:05:17 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

What regular activities do you engage in that you feel most express the d/s nature of your relationship?


I've only done this once - I spent a few hours using a pumice stone on his feet. I enjoyed giving and he enjoyed receiving.

The cooking and cleaning I do on a daily basis comes from a place so innate it almost seems not worth mentioning.

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 20
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