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RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 6:39:14 AM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		I've had the pleasure of learning much much much from Mr. De Becker. I think his books should be required reading.

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There is no spoon.


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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 7:03:03 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Newbies cant be protected from bad experiences with neon.signs and road flares. The ones who make good decicions in life do fine and the ones who dont...would crawl over glass to get to the idiot doms.

My days of playi.g CaptSaveAHo are.long long over.

(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 7:11:50 AM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		Never give up, Melanie.




Attachment (1)

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 8:09:25 AM   
stellauk


Posts: 1360
Status: offline 		I too have had bad experiences but see them as an opportunity to learn from mistakes, grow and develop.

While I understand the well-meaning sentiment expressed in the OP I personally tend to keep the actual intimate details of such experiences private and confined to the knowledge of those involved or, if seeking support and advice, known and trusted close friends.

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Usually when you have all the answers for something nobody is interested in listening.

(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 8:12:30 AM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		That's my take on 90% of the "serious" stuff posted on the boards.
quote:

ORIGINAL: stellauk

I personally tend to keep the actual intimate details of such experiences private and confined to the knowledge of those involved or, if seeking support and advice, known and trusted close friends.



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There is no spoon.


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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 9:17:55 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Cute Fornica, lol.

I don't think the OP is looking to get people to open up about experiences to learn anything. As we discussed in one of her other "warning" posts, she seems to have taken it upon herself to be BDSM PSA girl, and posts random "warnings." I think they are good for amusement only for the most part.

Everyone telling about their previous bad experiences isn't going to prevent people from making the same mistakes overall. It can very likely add to some people's already higher than normal paranoia about meeting people.

(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 11:45:09 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Remember when we were all children, dangling from the monkeybars with our delicate skulls inches from the asphault? I really miss those days.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

As we discussed in one of her other "warning" posts, she seems to have taken it upon herself to be BDSM PSA girl, and posts random "warnings."



_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 2:56:35 PM   
Ninebelowzero


Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline 		Stella Rocks!!!

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More come backs than Frank Sinatra

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 5:47:36 PM   
Anniessong


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/5/2011
Status: offline 		Hi This is the first time i have ever posted on line at this site. I know one cannot name anyone because of the TOS. But how does one warn other women about a couple on this site who in fact are very dangerous? I lived 24/7 with a couple first visiting for a couple of months in which everything was fine. I agreed to be their 24/7 slave  and when i came back everything had changed and i barely got away with my life... Everything i had was stolen from me as they had forged documents giving them complete power of attorney over me, everything i owned and hopes to own in the future of which i knew nothing about. My credit was maxed out, my house belongings stolen, none of my bills were paid and i lost my house and my bank account was emptied. They even tried to get my retirement pension.

It is funny but while i was with them  all of a sudden they were able to pay 7 years of back taxes, buy two out buildings and a recreation vehicle all in the space of 5 months.

Now i see these same people prowling for other female slaves promising them a BDSM  Shangri-la  life with them. They have had other women come before, but coincidentally all have disappeared.

I got out with police assistance which was not easy as all phone, computer or any means of outside communication were taken away from me as well as my clothes. The police told me in fact my life was in danger. They said that once all  my  financial assets were acquired, it looked as if i was being set up to permanently disappear. They had taken out a 500,000 life insurance policy on me.

I wish to spare  other potential slaves such pain and do not know how to do so. For this reason I have had to change some of my on-line information..name, and state, age etc... because they have promised to track me down and injure me and my loved ones.

Currently  the FBI, Local police and Bank are investigating them not only for what they have done to me but also to locate those  women who are missing. Please beware of those who tell you with seeming caring for your long term well being as a lifetime slave that they will care for you when you are ill and should you die in your old age you can choose the cemetery where you wish to be buried years from now.... For those years may only in fact  be months until they need you no longer...

The sad point for me in all of this is not losing what i had owned, but the betrayal of trust by those i had given my heart too. I find  myself now gun shy of other Dom's/Domme's, wondering if they too are not malicious wolves in sheep's clothing looking only for a golden goose to live off of and only pretending to care as long as they need my money.

It is so sad to see such hipocrisy,  lack of integrity in this lifestyle.  I must say that most of my friendships  with people in this lifestyle in the past have been safe if not good... But now i realize first hand how some of  these seemingly "good" Dom's /Domme's are in fact twisted and dangerous people.  I am sure the same goes for potential subs and slaves. but I can only speak from a slaves point of view so i am not specifically targeting Dominants and no disrespect is intended towards good Dominants.

I know this  lifestyle is a Dangerous medium even as there are many good and  honorable people here. I can only say Buyer beware and be alert for small signs which i  in my naievite  may have missed. Also beware of any Dom couples in AR. There are many good ones in AR I am sure...just check carefully and slowly. A word to the wise.

(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 5:51:23 PM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		If what you say is true (and I hope it is not), why would they not have been arrested for kidnapping you? You said the police helped you escape...?

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There is no spoon.


(in reply to Anniessong)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 6:21:08 PM   
Anniessong


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/5/2011
Status: offline 		I was not the one to call the police....The hospital i was in did. When they saw the Power of Attorney..they became alarmed and showed it to me in front of police. when checking with the bank they informed me that the signatures were in fact forgedwith no resemblance to my own and at a time when i was hospiitalized with no check book on me or  even a single penny as they held all my money and credit cards etc...

What i say is true... The sheriff had to go in and threaten them....But in that state it is not as easy as in others because the way the laws are written. You need a special writ from a judge .. The police told me that the ways the laws are written in AR , they tend to favor the criminal. Also, as All my money had been stolen  and i did not have  $3,700  necessary to afford a lawyer to initiate the process. I got away only with my car computer and two dogs which got sick immediately after leaving. I had to stop along the way to take them to an emergency vet who treated them as they were hemorrhaging form the mouth and anus... tests showed them to have been given rat poison. The vet in his kindness treated them for free. I am ever grateful to Him. This too is documented.

I now have the money  to initiate proceedings and the FBI and Bank are interested of their own accord as they overdrew my bank account by over $1,000 dollars as i had overdraft protection. The same goes with the credit comapnies and the local bank who spotted the forgery once alerted.

As for kidnapping.... I could not lie to the police. I admitted that i had gone to live with them. But Forgery and fraud as well as identity theft is a class A felony if someone is sick or disabled.

(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 6:25:38 PM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		How did you get to the hospital?


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There is no spoon.


(in reply to Anniessong)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 6:39:34 PM   
Anniessong


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/5/2011
Status: offline 		I started vomting blood at home after a day of feeling sick. they told me i was looking for attention and was not sick at all...I demanded my keys and tried to take my car but could not drive. Finally one of them dropped me at the ER curb berating me all the way. I collapsed from loss of blood as i walked into the ER alone and they took off.

I awoke in the ER with blood running and IV fluids and had to  go to surgery to stop the internal bleeding. It was 3-4 days before they visited me for about 5 minutes never acknowledging that i in fact was not seeking attention. When the hospital and police became suspicious i was moved to another room after ten days in order to ensure my safety. A plain clothes man was in the hall at all times. Finally  once stable, i was moved by police to a hotel out of town until family could get me.

(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 7:25:46 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		Bad experience....okay(but I can't say who it was really bad for) Many years ago when I thought to "help" a friend that very much wanted to dom. You would have had to know him to really understand. Big bad man, everyone does what I say, sort of person. Long story short at one point he put his foot between my shoulders and pulled very hard(I was laying on the floor) on my arm. He got very upset because I just would not say "Uncle", maybe it was his safe word, he never told me. Anyway he pulled my shoulder out when I told him he would have to break it to get me to give in. There was a very loud pop(and I'll admit it hurt, though I woudn't then) He jerked away from me and started screamed...I think he thought he did break it. I got up, punched him in the face and broke his nose. I also told him that next time he would do better to think before he tested someone whose limits he really didn't know. I have to say it was not the best play time I ever had but it did help him to learn something. Bad, good, bad again...he wouldn't "play" with me again after that. Shame because I did actually like him.

*spelling errors are my friend*

< Message edited by MissImmortalPain -- 12/4/2011 8:05:44 PM >

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It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 7:44:35 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		In every state, the police and prosecutor can file charges for those crimes.  For the other girls and stuff, that isn't your business, but if they forged your signature, that is enough.  You are able to go and insist it be done.

The only thing you can do with your own attorney is file a civil suit, and since this was a huge crime (if you are being truthful), then the lack of criminal charges will hurt your case.

For those reasons, I have doubts about your story.  I don't say that to demean or belittle what you may have gone through, but you are talking about something and saying the police just let it go because the laws are written to protect the criminals.  Even though you say you changed all your profile information, you had a house and a retirement account, so you are probably past your 20s.  The lack of criminal charges and your reasoning for that makes your story doubtful.

(in reply to Anniessong)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/4/2011 11:25:41 PM   
Anniessong


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/5/2011
Status: offline 		I am sure when reading this given this venue, the first thing that comes to mind is that i am a flake or a fake. I do admit to not being legalese savvy as i have never been in this situation before. I must admit that i was very frustrated at being given the run around by police and attorneys as if none had heard of these crimes before. Remember that parts of AR are still old boy towns not open to outsiders from other states or perhaps to lazy to buck a comfortable system. What ever the case may be, i will look into what you have said.

For myself and my family as well as Dom friends who know the said couple. we  know i am telling  the truth as they have lived this nightmare with me. The sheriff knew the truth and that is why he went in even when the Local Prosecuter's office was too shy to investigate for fear of rocking the boat.

In any event, my aim is not to get back at nor retaliate but rather to possibly save one person from being hurt in the way i was.
I can say i am telling you all the truth until i am blue in the face, but so will a liar say the same so i understand your skepticism.

The point is that i have given warning... it is up to others whether to take heed or not. As i have named no names there is nothing for me to gain from this....the only thing i can gain is that another is spared such pain at another's hands whether it be this couple or another predator on line. And so, I rest my case.

In the mean time..i put my life back together piece by piece this time being more wary than before....

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/5/2011 4:28:00 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Typically My bad experiences start with this is gonna hurt you a lot more than me.

BadOne

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The beatings will continue until morale improves.

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Anniessong)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/5/2011 4:32:16 PM   
TheFireWithinMe


Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Typically My bad experiences start with this is gonna hurt you a lot more than me.

BadOne


Isn't that how it's s'posed to be? If it isn't you may be doing it wrong.


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(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/6/2011 7:54:31 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

the Local Prosecuter's office was too shy to investigate for fear of rocking the boat.


If I felt the police were not doing their job I would go to the press and my Congressperson.

If this happened to me:

quote:

My credit was maxed out, my house belongings stolen, none of my bills were paid and i lost my house and my bank account was emptied. They even tried to get my retirement pension.


This is not where I would be putting my energy:

quote:

Also beware of any Dom couples in AR.

(in reply to Anniessong)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 12/6/2011 8:44:46 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Oh yeah.. like posting a generic warning ever did anyone any good. If you truly wanted to save others from being hurt in the way you were, report it, tell your story, get the law involved and don't let them back down because it might be uncomfortable for them. If people are going around scamming others and you are a witness/victim, wouldn't it make more sense to bring the law into it so that any future victim might have more reason to be believed?
Here in northern Ca, there was a case about 30 yrs ago where a woman was held captive for a bit of time and then eventually released. No one believed her when she told her story. Then another woman was taken and when she finally got away police actually investigated. Why? Because there was a prior history to back her up.

Not telling and just posting a generic warning does no one any good.
And if you think the people who scammed you will always be using the same email, login name, ect., that makes no sense.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anniessong

my aim is not to get back at nor retaliate but rather to possibly save one person from being hurt in the way i was.




_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Anniessong)
Profile   Post #: 60
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