WinsomeDefiance
Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
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FR - Haven't read all of the replies
Bad experiences do happen, and they can happen even when you do things "right" and take all of the safety precautions. Shit happens. Honestly, I think all of those 'must do' BDSM safety guidelines lend a false sense of security. Sometimes, there just aren't any red flags, and the truly dangerous people are the ones that are the best at manuevering around the safety guidelines and inspiring that false sense of security. I've seen this at parties a lot. There will be certain Dominant males that give off the creepy vibe, and they get a bad rep when they really are harmless. The fact of the matter is, a good predator doesn't typically give off creepy vibes or 'red flags'. They are typically very charming and charismatic.
Anyway, yes, I've had bad experiences. Shit happens.
I've had WAY more awesome ones though. Even some meh ones.
I don't see how talking of bad experiences is going to help others be safe. If you put yourself out there, you take risks. Each person has to measure their risk vs safety expectations for themselves.
I do believe that talking about bad experiences helps the individual work through how and why it happened. I know that after my bad experiences, I withdrew and internalized everything.
I'm not sure that talking about them HERE is the best idea. We can be pretty shitty to people sometimes, and often very judgemental. Not the most healing of experiences, I'd imagine.
WinD
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RE: Bad bdsm experiences - 
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