BDSM fundamentals

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Bugei -> BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 9:34:57 AM)
What, if any, are the fundamentals of BDSM?

mistoferin -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 9:39:36 AM)
In my opinion, the most important is consent. Without it the BDSM lifestyle could not exist.

darkinshadows -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 9:39:46 AM)
From my understanding - consensuality and respect for the differing opinions and desires of individuals. Everything else (pain, risk, sexual preference et al) is subjective. Peace and Rapture

Sab -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 9:48:34 AM)
The fundermentals are - D/s, M/s without them you really don't have BDSM. ;)

Alixandria -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 9:51:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sab The fundermentals are - D/s, M/s without them you really don't have BDSM. ;) There are many people in the community who are into neither D/s nor M/s. How would you classify them? Alix

BitaTruble -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 9:53:19 AM)
Go forth with knowledgable consent. Know your craft. IE - if you are going to bullwhip someone, understand how to do so and practice with the whip before you use it unless putting peoples eyes out is your thing.. just let your partner know it's a possibility. An' it harm none, do what you will. And most important.. don't cut and paste private emails into public forums. [8D] It's akin to 'outing' and is very bad form, chap. Celeste

BitaTruble -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 9:56:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sab The fundermentals are - D/s, M/s without them you really don't have BDSM. ;) Hmm.. as a strictly S/m Top, I would have to disagree with you completely on that one, Sab. I don't engage in any form of D/s or M/s when I'm topping. Celeste

OhBeMyMind -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 10:01:52 AM)
Fast reply: IMO: the very basic foundation is simply SSC Ironically (or maybe not so ironically) respect, and acceptance suddenly come to mind.

Sab -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 10:11:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alixandria quote: ORIGINAL: Sab The fundermentals are - D/s, M/s without them you really don't have BDSM. ;) There are many people in the community who are into neither D/s nor M/s. How would you classify them? Alix It was a broad spectrum answer about a question that was as broad in content - how I would classify everyone else is however you feel, commit and partake in BDSM, it really is a wide spectrum. Many colours make a rainbow. :)

Sab -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 10:15:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: ORIGINAL: Sab The fundermentals are - D/s, M/s without them you really don't have BDSM. ;) Hmm.. as a strictly S/m Top, I would have to disagree with you completely on that one, Sab. I don't engage in any form of D/s or M/s when I'm topping. Celeste Celeste - I love your posts, I enjoy the content and the answers you give, but I must admit I will never be in a position of understanding a switch, top/bottomer ad infinitum, my make-up as a Dominant just won't allow it. :)

ADomDoc -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 10:23:23 AM)
D/s is nothing more than an ornately ritualized expression of courtesy ... and tends to be at the heart -- in different proportions -- of many (not all) BdSm relationships. M/s is a subset of D/s. The 'pathological' side of this is the classic abuser. B&D tends to be more an expression of helplessness/sensory deprivation for the sub & power/control for the Dom/me. Some subs prioritize the challenge of the escape over the bondage itself (they tend to be the wrigglers :-) S&m ... is pretty obviously more a relationship revolving around the power of giving pain/humiliation vs receiving pain/humiliation from mild to severe extremes. Generally thought of as primarily expressed physically, but may be purely psychological/emotional. The Amer. Psych Assn has longstanding pathological definitions for sadist & masochist which tend to be extremes that affect all aspects of the person's life ... but is recently becoming aware of S&m play that is within the range of healthy sexual expression. In BdSm "play", consensuality is the accepted standard, however, we all have heard of plenty of cases where that is not respected by one party or the other. Non-consensual Dom/mes take advantage of the helplessness of the sub/slave. Either Dom/me or sub/slave can become stalkers. Whether those folks are predators ... or whether they are just mismatched & suffer from poor communications is open to some small debate & quick judgment. We've all heard to phrase SSC: Safe, Sane & Consensual ... which is subjective in all of it's definitions. RACK: Risk-Aware Consensual Kink gets away from some of the subjectivity. No one Dom/me is right for every sub/slave. It's about finding a compatible match ... in level of play ... and communication. The maso who loves having his/her mouth used as an ashtray won't get along w/ a silk scarf Dom/me ... and the the breast suspension/needling Dom/me won't be right for the sub who just wants a little spanking & corner time. Some folks might seem dangerously extreme ... until matched with a compatible opposite ... then they become the 'heavy' players in town. (Of course, some folks are just fuckin' crazy & need to be shot like rabid dogs. But who's to decide? A jury of peers ... or Pat Robertson?) And then there's BS ... that's mainly in the eye of the beholder. Just my 2cents ADomDoc San Antonio

ADomDoc -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 10:35:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble if you are going to bullwhip someone, understand how to do so and practice with the whip before you use it AND ... it you will consider the experience of an old fart as wisdom ... don't practice with bullwhips ... or fry bacon ... in the nude.

BitaTruble -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 10:36:05 AM)
quote: Celeste - I love your posts, I enjoy the content and the answers you give, but I must admit I will never be in a position of understanding a switch, top/bottomer ad infinitum, my make-up as a Dominant just won't allow it. :) No worries, Sab.. I can 'splain it to ya if you'll just bend over and listen. [;)] Umm.. that was an offer.. not a command. [sm=biggrin.gif] Celeste

CrappyDom -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 10:52:45 AM)
If experience hadn't taught me otherwise, I would have thought being an arrogant ass would be frowned upon but it seems to be rather fundamental.

ShiftedJewel -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 11:04:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bugei What, if any, are the fundamentals of BDSM? *In our house it's always been the foundation of the four cornerstones... Trust, Honesty, Respect and Communication. Everything else builds from there.* *Jewel*

Proprietrix -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 12:32:18 PM)
Consent. Anything after that is relative to those who consented.

mnottertail -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 12:37:41 PM)
The fundamentals are: I am me. you are you. YOU ARE INTO CRAZY SHIT! at the end of the day, you suck my dick. Ron

Bugei -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 12:49:58 PM)
As another stone hits the water .... In no particular order Communication Truth Consent Loyalty Nurture Respect .....

BitaTruble -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 12:57:47 PM)
quote: What, if any, are the fundamentals of BDSM? *In our house it's always been the foundation of the four cornerstones... Trust, Honesty, Respect and Communication. Everything else builds from there.* *Jewel* I would call those fundamentals of a good relationship .. irrespective of BDSM involvement. Celeste edited to correct quoting

mnottertail -> RE: BDSM fundamentals (5/28/2006 12:58:18 PM)
mayhaps... With a name like bugei, are you of the jenbukan? Ron

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