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BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 9:34:57 AM   
Bugei


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/3/2005
From: West Wales UK
Status: offline 		What, if any, are the fundamentals of BDSM?

_____________________________

Bugei Master of slave o^^
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RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 9:39:36 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		In my opinion, the most important is consent. Without it the BDSM lifestyle could not exist.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Bugei)
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RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 9:39:46 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
From my understanding - consensuality and respect for the differing opinions and desires of individuals.
Everything else (pain, risk, sexual preference et al) is subjective.
 
Peace and Rapture


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Bugei)
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RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 9:48:34 AM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline 		The fundermentals are - D/s, M/s without them you really don't have BDSM. ;) 

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God blessed it and it brought me to her.

(in reply to darkinshadows)
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RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 9:51:53 AM   
Alixandria


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/27/2005
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sab

The fundermentals are - D/s, M/s without them you really don't have BDSM. ;) 


There are many people in the community who are into neither D/s nor M/s.  How would you classify them?

Alix

(in reply to Sab)
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RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 9:53:19 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Go forth with knowledgable consent.
Know your craft. IE - if you are going to bullwhip someone, understand how to do so and practice with the whip before you use it unless putting peoples eyes out is your thing.. just let your partner know it's a possibility.
An' it harm none, do what you will.

And most important.. don't cut and paste private emails into public forums.  It's akin to 'outing' and is very bad form, chap.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to darkinshadows)
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RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 9:56:52 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sab

The fundermentals are - D/s, M/s without them you really don't have BDSM. ;) 


Hmm.. as a strictly S/m Top, I would have to disagree with you completely on that one, Sab. I don't engage in any form of D/s or M/s when I'm topping.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Sab)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 10:01:52 AM   
OhBeMyMind


Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
Status: offline 		Fast reply:

IMO:  the very basic foundation is simply SSC
Ironically (or maybe not so ironically) respect, and acceptance suddenly come to mind.

_____________________________

~oh

~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 10:11:32 AM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alixandria

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sab

The fundermentals are - D/s, M/s without them you really don't have BDSM. ;) 


There are many people in the community who are into neither D/s nor M/s.  How would you classify them?

Alix


It was a broad spectrum answer about a question that was as broad in content - how I would classify everyone else is however you feel, commit and partake in BDSM, it really is a wide spectrum. Many colours make a rainbow. :)


_____________________________

God blessed it and it brought me to her.

(in reply to Alixandria)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 10:15:49 AM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sab

The fundermentals are - D/s, M/s without them you really don't have BDSM. ;) 


Hmm.. as a strictly S/m Top, I would have to disagree with you completely on that one, Sab. I don't engage in any form of D/s or M/s when I'm topping.

Celeste


Celeste - I love your posts, I enjoy the content and the answers you give, but I must admit I will never be in a position of understanding a switch, top/bottomer ad infinitum, my make-up as a Dominant just won't allow it. :)


_____________________________

God blessed it and it brought me to her.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 10:23:23 AM   
ADomDoc


Posts: 312
Joined: 11/8/2005
From: San Antonio
Status: offline 		D/s is nothing more than an ornately ritualized expression of courtesy ... and tends to be at the heart -- in different proportions -- of many (not all) BdSm relationships.  M/s is a subset of D/s.  The 'pathological' side of this is the classic abuser.

B&D tends to be more an expression of helplessness/sensory deprivation for the sub & power/control for the Dom/me.  Some subs prioritize the challenge of the escape over the bondage itself (they tend to be the wrigglers :-)

S&m ... is pretty obviously more a relationship revolving around the power of giving pain/humiliation vs receiving pain/humiliation from mild to severe extremes.  Generally thought of as primarily expressed physically, but may be purely psychological/emotional. The Amer. Psych Assn has longstanding pathological definitions for sadist & masochist which tend to be extremes that affect all aspects of the person's life ... but is recently becoming aware of S&m play that is within the range of healthy sexual expression.

In BdSm "play", consensuality is the accepted standard, however, we all have heard of plenty of cases where that is not respected by one party or the other.  Non-consensual Dom/mes take advantage of the helplessness of the sub/slave.  Either Dom/me or sub/slave can become stalkers.  Whether those folks are predators ... or whether they are just mismatched & suffer from poor communications is open to some small debate & quick judgment.  We've all heard to phrase SSC: Safe, Sane & Consensual ... which is subjective in all of it's definitions.  RACK: Risk-Aware Consensual Kink gets away from some of the subjectivity.  No one Dom/me is right for every sub/slave.  It's about finding a compatible match ... in level of play ... and communication.  The maso who loves having his/her mouth used as an ashtray won't get along w/ a silk scarf Dom/me ... and the the breast suspension/needling Dom/me won't be right for the sub who just wants a little spanking & corner time.  Some folks might seem dangerously extreme ... until matched with a compatible opposite ... then they become the 'heavy' players in town.  (Of course, some folks are just fuckin' crazy & need to be shot like rabid dogs.  But who's to decide?  A jury of peers ... or Pat Robertson?)

And then there's BS ... that's mainly in the eye of the beholder.

Just my 2cents

ADomDoc 
San Antonio

< Message edited by ADomDoc -- 5/28/2006 10:31:25 AM >

(in reply to Bugei)
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RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 10:35:18 AM   
ADomDoc


Posts: 312
Joined: 11/8/2005
From: San Antonio
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
if you are going to bullwhip someone, understand how to do so and practice with the whip before you use it

AND ... it you will consider the experience of an old fart as wisdom ... don't practice with bullwhips ... or fry bacon ... in the nude.


(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 10:36:05 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:




Celeste - I love your posts, I enjoy the content and the answers you give, but I must admit I will never be in a position of understanding a switch, top/bottomer ad infinitum, my make-up as a Dominant just won't allow it. :)



No worries, Sab.. I can 'splain it to ya if you'll just bend over and listen.  Umm.. that was an offer.. not a command.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Sab)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 10:52:45 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		If experience hadn't taught me otherwise, I would have thought being an arrogant ass would be frowned upon but it seems to be rather fundamental.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 11:04:00 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bugei

What, if any, are the fundamentals of BDSM?


In our house it's always been the foundation of the four cornerstones... Trust, Honesty, Respect and Communication. Everything else builds from there.
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to Bugei)
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RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 12:32:18 PM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline 		Consent.
Anything after that is relative to those who consented.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to Bugei)
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RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 12:37:41 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		The fundamentals are:

I am me.
you are you. YOU ARE INTO CRAZY SHIT!
at the end of the day, you suck my dick.

Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 12:49:58 PM   
Bugei


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/3/2005
From: West Wales UK
Status: offline 		As another stone hits the water ....

In no particular order

Communication
Truth
Consent
Loyalty
Nurture
Respect

.....

(in reply to Bugei)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 12:57:47 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:



What, if any, are the fundamentals of BDSM?


In our house it's always been the foundation of the four cornerstones... Trust, Honesty, Respect and Communication. Everything else builds from there.
 
Jewel


I would call those fundamentals of a good relationship .. irrespective of BDSM involvement.

Celeste

edited to correct quoting

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 5/28/2006 12:58:29 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 12:58:18 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		mayhaps...

With a name like bugei, are you of the jenbukan?

Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Bugei)
Profile   Post #: 20
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