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RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 1:09:12 PM   
SirDaniel


Posts: 93
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bugei

What, if any, are the fundamentals of BDSM?


In our house it's always been the foundation of the four cornerstones... Trust, Honesty, Respect and Communication. Everything else builds from there.
 
Jewel


I could not have said it better. The house is the Consent. The 4 corner stones that hold it up are Trust, Honesty, Respect and Communication. At least in my house as well Jewel and you know how well it works for us..>:)

_____________________________

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Las Vegas (Sin City), NV

http://members.cox.net/sirdaniel

quote:

Be true, honest, caring and loving,
and you will be found.
It is true, be you Master or slave.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 1:51:45 PM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:




Celeste - I love your posts, I enjoy the content and the answers you give, but I must admit I will never be in a position of understanding a switch, top/bottomer ad infinitum, my make-up as a Dominant just won't allow it. :)



No worries, Sab.. I can 'splain it to ya if you'll just bend over and listen.  Umm.. that was an offer.. not a command.

Celeste


LOL.......Hmmmmmmm ;) Nope


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God blessed it and it brought me to her.

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 2:21:11 PM   
genvieve


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline 		The traditional fundamentals for BDSM are Safe, Sane, Consentual... and Trust, Honor, Respect

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In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 4:43:52 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline 		SIMPLY b,and d is bondage and dicipline ,or litterally bound, to a certain position ,and, s and m is pleasure from pain ,and, it's a certain particular recipee needed;it's ,  not ,just all pain ,and, just any SHOE ya know!.....

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 5/28/2006 4:44:17 PM >

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(in reply to Bugei)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 4:54:43 PM   
Bugei


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/3/2005
From: West Wales UK
Status: offline 		Yagyu Shinkage-ryu but a very long time ago

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/28/2006 6:07:41 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

Consent.
Anything after that is relative to those who consented.


Well said and 100% agreed.


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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/29/2006 1:49:18 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve

The traditional fundamentals for BDSM are Safe, Sane, Consentual... and Trust, Honor, Respect

As far as my information goes, the SSC acronym is attributed to David Stein.  Now He does not affirim nor deny - but he does insist that it was never meant to be a catch all term and that is frequently misused by people who practise BDSM - just to make it more 'acceptable' to people outside of wiitwd.  (see here)
 
The traditional fundementals were never SSC... BDSM has been around since humans could hold a stick - this term only came about in around 30(ish) years or so ago.  It's a nice respectable slogan that tries to steer SM away from defined abuse for people outside wiitwd.
 
But what is sane and what is safe?
I would hardly call asphyxiation 'sane'... but I do it.  Most people would see it as less than safe, yet given the right medical care and instruction, it isn't safe, but at least there is an awareness.
 
Some people would see facials as humiliating and insane.  Others find scat or any watersports as both unsafe and totally mad, but they exist.
 
My personal opinion is I would never consider scening with someone who quoted SSC as their mantra and saw it as fundamental to Bdsm... as I have seen it used by more people who have no understanding of it's concept than those that do.
 
The only definable word is consensual.  Without mutal consent of all parties, play/scenes/relationships are nothing short of abuse. 
 
Peace and Rapture


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to genvieve)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/29/2006 5:18:59 PM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve

The traditional fundamentals for BDSM are Safe, Sane, Consentual... and Trust, Honor, Respect

As far as my information goes, the SSC acronym is attributed to David Stein.  Now He does not affirim nor deny - but he does insist that it was never meant to be a catch all term and that is frequently misused by people who practise BDSM - just to make it more 'acceptable' to people outside of wiitwd.  (see here)
 
The traditional fundementals were never SSC... BDSM has been around since humans could hold a stick - this term only came about in around 30(ish) years or so ago.  It's a nice respectable slogan that tries to steer SM away from defined abuse for people outside wiitwd.
 
But what is sane and what is safe?
I would hardly call asphyxiation 'sane'... but I do it.  Most people would see it as less than safe, yet given the right medical care and instruction, it isn't safe, but at least there is an awareness.
 
Some people would see facials as humiliating and insane.  Others find scat or any watersports as both unsafe and totally mad, but they exist.
 
My personal opinion is I would never consider scening with someone who quoted SSC as their mantra and saw it as fundamental to Bdsm... as I have seen it used by more people who have no understanding of it's concept than those that do.
 
The only definable word is consensual.  Without mutal consent of all parties, play/scenes/relationships are nothing short of abuse. 
 
Peace and Rapture



Thank you, da.  i myself have had lingering confusion over all these acronyms, especially since no one seems to agree on their meaning.
 
pinkee

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/29/2006 5:34:56 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bugei

What, if any, are the fundamentals of BDSM?


Hello A/all,

Im one of those weird people who think the answer to a
question like this varies from person to person, dynamic to
dynamic, and possibly even season to season.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

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David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Bugei)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 5/29/2006 5:52:24 PM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

From my understanding - consensuality and respect for the differing opinions and desires of individuals.
Everything else (pain, risk, sexual preference et al) is subjective.
 
Peace and Rapture



To me, it's a Great Respect for and Trust in a Man....that creates possibilites.
 
pinkee

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 6/1/2006 5:24:37 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		I believe the primary one is education, pracitice, sharing, education, and then more education. Take this lifestyle like any other thing in life, study, apply your knowledge and share to help others if they desire it.

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to Bugei)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 6/2/2006 3:46:31 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		The basic principle that makes someone a Dom or sub comes about when he/she understands that many have D/s kinks and doesn’t use the kinks as a personal judgment of these people. It is an awareness that results in respect for the person.

In my case I could whip and use a sub in an artistic D/s scene while truly believing that she is a good person. It is that ability to separate what is often seen as a weak perversion by the vanilla community from the valuation of the person. It even gives the submissive self respect when she is able to perform well.

One way to see the difference is to think about men who use women roughly without respect while viewing them as morally inferior to women without kink. Abusers and pimps come to mind. Compare these men to Doms who demand obedience and use the women roughly while giving the women absolute respect because they understand, compartmentalize play and actually feel a kinship to these submissive women because of their own kink. Everything flows from this awareness and respect.

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For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to Bugei)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 6/2/2006 4:26:50 AM   
sorbet


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/1/2006
Status: offline 		From everything I have been learning, the fundamentals would be consent and trust. 

sorbet

_____________________________

Listening for that whisper

(in reply to Bugei)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: BDSM fundamentals - 6/2/2006 4:37:43 AM   
Sheikh


Posts: 32
Joined: 6/1/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bugei
Yagyu Shrinkage


Oh.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bugei
but a very long time ago


Did it grow back?

(in reply to Bugei)
Profile   Post #: 34
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