I need an answer.

I need an answer. (Full Version)

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kinkykittykat -> I need an answer. (5/28/2006 10:31:05 AM)
I have been in the lifestyle for many years now and there is one thing that I do not understand. I am hoping someone here will be able to help Me understand the 'why'. Why do some slaves have a NEED to be treated like a dog? I mean being forced to eat out of dog bowls, crawl on all fours, and sleep in a cage? My other question is, if you are the slave, isn't your Mistress's happiness all that matters? How do some slaves feel they can place demands on their Mistress by asking to be treated in one way or another? I do thank everyone in advance for their assistance in this delema of Mine. Ms Kathy

Level -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 10:36:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kinkykittykat I have been in the lifestyle for many years now and there is one thing that I do not understand. I am hoping someone here will be able to help Me understand the 'why'. Why do some slaves have a NEED to be treated like a dog? I mean being forced to eat out of dog bowls, crawl on all fours, and sleep in a cage? Because it's kinky, and demeaning, and places them in a subservient state of mind-- of course, there are other answers. My other question is, if you are the slave, isn't your Mistress's happiness all that matters? How do some slaves feel they can place demands on their Mistress by asking to be treated in one way or another? Because some use the word "slave" without consideration as to what it means. Some feel there are NO real slaves. I think if one is deeply submissive, they will seek to obey, and please, their dominant. I do thank everyone in advance for their assistance in this delema of Mine. Ms Kathy

slavejlb -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 10:45:27 AM)
belive it or not is just like any other fetish, and also at times it has to do with their childhood, they have been put that their whole life, that it is the only way they can feel accepted, by someone. they put love and humilation together to reach even the third level of Maslow higharchie of needs and wants. I hope this has help some take care and be safe slavejlb

mistoferin -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 10:50:21 AM)
I can't answer your first question as it is not a need or desire that I personally have. As to your second question, I don't believe that when a sub/slave asks for or voices an opinion to a Dominant about their likes or dislikes that it is the same as placing a demand. The Dominant, limits previously discussed and decided upon, certainly has the ultimate decision. Just because one gets to vote does not mean they will win the election.

CrappyDom -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 10:56:56 AM)
S&M is about exploring yourself and what turns you on. Thus the eating out of a dog bowl, being used as a human toilet, or wanting to be called a slave while being spoiled by a mistress, or being called a bottom and serving the merest whim works.

ADomDoc -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 11:06:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level Because some use the word "slave" without consideration as to what it means. Some feel there are NO real slaves. I think if one is deeply submissive, they will seek to obey, and please, their dominant. Well stated ... another twist to this comment ... while lots of Dom/mes are competitive ... so are subs/slaves (esp in public play & clubs) ... the subs/slaves playing a game of one-downsmanship ... "I am a slave (not just a sub) ... therefore I am lower (=better) than all of you subs." A sub who is suddenly lots more compliant & obsequious in a play party than at home might easily be guilty of this prideful, status-seeking behaviour. As to "why?" I liken it to baby ducks who fixate on the first animate object they see & think it's their mother. If someone is strongly stimulated sensually (for good or bad at the time) at a young age, s/he may well become fixated on that as a later expression of their sexuality. It might have been a horrendous ordeal at the time ... but they will still seek it out as adolescents & adults. And it doesn't even have to be something they enjoy as adults ... it's just what is needed for the stimulation. I'm sure this cannot be universally generalized ... but I've seen it often enough that it has to be a factor in lots of cases. Those who are humiliated as kids ... seek it as adults. Those who endure lots of corporal punishment either seek it ... or seek to give it. Those who watch lots of humiliation (father to mother ... or vice versa) will tend to act the same way as adults. As we all know, abused kids grow up to be abusers. If you are taught that you are scum, then where better to eat but on the floor from a dog bowl? (At least the dog gets petted once in a while.) The few I've know who were pimped out by parents have a love for humiliation ... the lower the better.

ayasha -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 11:08:44 AM)
quote: Why do some slaves have a NEED to be treated like a dog? I mean being forced to eat out of dog bowls, crawl on all fours, and sleep in a cage? For the same reason that some have a need to be whipped, a need to be flogged, a need to be used. We all have different needs. The common need for a slave is the need to serve. My other question is, if you are the slave, isn't your Mistress's happiness all that matters? How do some slaves feel they can place demands on their Mistress by asking to be treated in one way or another? A Master/Mistress has the need to be served, a slave has the need to serve. The slave is not placing a demand on the Master/Mistress in this instance. Nor are they placing a demand on them by letting them know that one of their deep-seated needs is to be treated like a dog at times. The slave does not get to choose the how, when, where of this - it is only given when the Master/Mistress allows it.

SirNico -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 11:16:05 AM)
what i don't yet understand is the heirarchy. I thought that a submissive had bounaries, limits, and their Dominant would understand and respect those limits. I then surmised a 'slave' is a 'slave' because they lack those limits and turn themselves over trusting in the wisdom of their Master for their well being, or lack thereof. Top-bottom Dominant-Submissive Master-slave. it's sort of black and white yes?

mistoferin -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 11:19:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirNico it's sort of black and white yes? No. We all have limits....it comes as a part of the human condition. Limitless people do not exist.

JohnWarren -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 11:22:19 AM)
You're asking "why" about a feeling. About the only thing that can be said is "because." People can't rationally explain feelings. Just accept that they do. Their needs and desires don't have any impact on the relationship between you and your partner.

mistoferin -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 11:22:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirNico what i don't yet understand is the heirarchy. Top-bottom Dominant-Submissive Master-slave. There isn't a heirarchy. What is implied by the examples that you gave is that the Top-Bottom scenario is somehow less than the Dominant-submissive dynamic, which is again less than the Master-slave dynamic. They are all different indeed, yet none are greater/less than the other.

ADomDoc -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 11:28:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirNico what i don't yet understand is the heirarchy. I thought that a submissive had bounaries, limits, and their Dominant would understand and respect those limits. I then surmised a 'slave' is a 'slave' because they lack those limits and turn themselves over trusting in the wisdom of their Master for their well being, or lack thereof. Top-bottom Dominant-Submissive Master-slave. it's sort of black and white yes? In a perfect world, maybe. Unfortunately ... everyone has their own definition of each term ... and only agree in small cliques. My sub might be your slave. Also a hierarchy is irrelevant where everyone exaggerates his/her status within the supposed hierarchy. What I find particularly silly are those who call themselves 'No Limits' slaves ... they claim to have absolutely NO limits ... but if you question 'em carefully, they DO expect their Dom/mes to not do anything unsafe (such as dismemberment, disfigurement, murder) or icky (such as scat, GS). Seems reasonable ... but what 'makes sense' & is reasonable to one, ain't necessarily so with someone else. They aren't truly "no limits" ... just seeking someone w/ compatible limits. Again ... this is a prideful, status-seeking sub orientation. YMMV

JohnWarren -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 11:34:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: SirNico what i don't yet understand is the heirarchy. Top-bottom Dominant-Submissive Master-slave. There isn't a heirarchy. What is implied by the examples that you gave is that the Top-Bottom scenario is somehow less than the Dominant-submissive dynamic, which is again less than the Master-slave dynamic. They are all different indeed, yet none are greater/less than the other. The best way to think of them is as circles on a piece of paper resting flat on a surface. Some of the circles interpenetrate one, two or more others but none is higher or lower than any other. They just indicate a place of the plane.

feastie -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 12:03:35 PM)
There was a man once in my life for whom I would have eaten from a dog dish, or slept in a cage, had he wished it. All but the strongest limits seemed to melt with him. It wasn't about whether I wanted to do this, it is because he wanted it. My pleasure came from doing what he wanted.

mnottertail -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 12:42:03 PM)
consider the color green, WHY? No, that's about it, kids. Ron ( I wish there were more to it, but we have limited time here and can't always ask why, why why, why... One hopes that at some point we just accept.)

MistressSassy66 -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 1:42:12 PM)
Why...simply because the need to do it outweighs the not doing it. Personally,I dont want a dog.I'm not a dog person to begin with.I prefer My submissives to be able to have some abilities other than catching a stick. slave bishop enjoys worshipping My feet but I'm not crazy about it...the look on her face is enough for Me to allow her to kiss them,worship them.It makes her happy and a happy slave is a slave more willing to serve...IMHO.

ownedgirlie -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 7:44:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kinkykittykat Why do some slaves have a NEED to be treated like a dog? I mean being forced to eat out of dog bowls, crawl on all fours, and sleep in a cage? I'm not forced. He tells me to and I willingly obey. It makes me feel good, and warm, and demeaned and hot. It makes me feel small, and feel his power. Some people are painsluts, some are humiliation sluts, some are canine sluts, and the list goes on. The unique thing about individuals is that we are all individuals. We each like different things. On message boards like this, we will find like and unlike minds alike. quote: My other question is, if you are the slave, isn't your Mistress's happiness all that matters? How do some slaves feel they can place demands on their Mistress by asking to be treated in one way or another? I don't place demands on my Master. And only very rarely do I ask to be treated in a certain way, and that actually never has anything to do with "play time." Master knows how I react to certain things, and when he wants to see a particular reaction in me, he has me do it - whatver thing "it" is.

fastlane -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 7:52:01 PM)
why are children abused? Why are wives abused? Why do people lie? Why, because we are all human. If you are in a situation you are not comfortable in.............GET OUT. Asses are everywhere....Kevin wipes his and says...trust when it's earned, but not until.... good luck

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 10:38:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kinkykittykat I have been in the lifestyle for many years now and there is one thing that I do not understand. I am hoping someone here will be able to help Me understand the 'why'. Why do some slaves have a NEED to be treated like a dog? I mean being forced to eat out of dog bowls, crawl on all fours, and sleep in a cage? My other question is, if you are the slave, isn't your Mistress's happiness all that matters? How do some slaves feel they can place demands on their Mistress by asking to be treated in one way or another? I do thank everyone in advance for their assistance in this delema of Mine. Ms Kathy Ms Kathy, I can't answer your first question as I'm not a psychologist and also believe that most people who are psychologists are full of, ummm, well, let's just call it "psychology." I don't believe any relationship in which only one person's happiness is all that matters can succeed in the long run, no matter whether you call it Top/bottom, Dominant/submissive or Owner/slave. The fact is that most people who identify as slaves are, believe it or not, rather kinky. (Yeah, yeah, I know, that sentence will get me nominated for the "Profound Revelation of the Year" Award.) For a BDSM relationship to work, I think it's essential that the kinks of all parties be, if not identical, at least compatible. A masochistic slave will not be contented in a relationship with a non-sadistic Owner; a slave who adores oral worship will not be contented with an Owner who abhors it, etc. In a LTR, I believe that if the slave is not contented, ultimately the Owner won't be either. So, when a slave is searching for an Owner, I don't see him stating that he needs to be treated like a dog as being unreasonable, if that is, in fact, what he needs to be contented. If the potential Owner finds this idea repulsive, then I'd venture to say that they are not a good match. If the relationship is already established, collar offered and exepted or whatever and the slave then "demands" that the Owner treat him like a dog, then it seems to me that they jumped into the commitment too quickly. This would call for either renegotiation of the relationship, or reconsidering the commitment to it.

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: I need an answer. (5/28/2006 10:41:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirNico what i don't yet understand is the heirarchy. I thought that a submissive had bounaries, limits, and their Dominant would understand and respect those limits. I then surmised a 'slave' is a 'slave' because they lack those limits and turn themselves over trusting in the wisdom of their Master for their well being, or lack thereof. Top-bottom Dominant-Submissive Master-slave. it's sort of black and white yes? No. Infinite shades of grey.

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