quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Ok, these last few posts are very discouraging, I just want to let you know that.  I admit that because Sparky is not mine, I have no attachment to him (although I did try, I didn't try really hard). 

Socks was a nearly feral stray and adopted me, but she eagerly became a domestic, happily indoor, affectionate (and spoiled) cat.  I have had other "problem" cats in the past but were able to correct the issues.  I honestly don't see a sense in doing anything until we move, he has just sprayed everywhere and it would be impossible to eradicate.

But again, these last few posts are not giving me much hope that we are going to be able to change Sparky's behavior, and it is going to continue to be a problem.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Ok, these last few posts are very discouraging, I just want to let you know that.  I admit that because Sparky is not mine, I have no attachment to him (although I did try, I didn't try really hard). 

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Ok, these last few posts are very discouraging, I just want to let you know that.  I admit that because Sparky is not mine, I have no attachment to him (although I did try, I didn't try really hard). 

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Ok, these last few posts are very discouraging, I just want to let you know that.  I admit that because Sparky is not mine, I have no attachment to him (although I did try, I didn't try really hard). 

Cats can sense when they are not considered 'part of the family.' I know it's hard to be loving to them when they're a pain in the ass and aren't yours, but they really do respond eventually to consistent, insistent kindness. I took in a 4-year old tiger boy rescue from the pound who was definitely the biggest, baddest, hard-core butt-head rescue kitteh I'd ever seen. 2 years in a stable, loving household and look at him now! In fact, he's like a dog: runs up to guests (strangers or not) to greet them and plants himself in their lap. He has a foot fetish and loves to rub up against feet. He eventually bonded with the kitten (left), the poop-outside-box kitteh is his best bud, and I feel an eerily spiritual connection with him as my animal familiar. My guess is when Sparky's neutered, the household is established and settles into a rhythm you will enjoy a much-improved kitteh attitude. Don't give up.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

That's a great idea.  Sparky and Socks both use a scratching post we have here.  I hatn't honestly thought about cutting his nails, since I was really concerned about the spraying.  Honestly, if I could stop that, he could swat at all the feet he wanted, I wouldn't much care, lol. 

I've only one male cat in my life.  Rusty.  He was pathetically affectionate, needing to be a neck warmer to anyone who would let him.  He literally "posed" for pictures, changing position after each click and holding it.  He was also the worst hunter, lol.  He could do "stealth" at all!

The only declawed cat I had would go in the attic (birds were able to come through the other apartment's portion), and she could catch a bird in midflight, no problem.  She still climbed trees. 

I've had cats that regularly attacked anyone who wasn't me.  Socks used to be like this and still is except with my housemate.

Sparky doesn't like treats, he doesn't even like his owner, my housemate all that much.  As far as his personality goes, I guess he is more "catlike" than cats I have ever had.  Most of my cats had "dog" type personalities.  They knew basic commands, like no, stay, come, off, down.  Socks is able to walk on a leash, although not her favorite thing, lol.  She responds to me in many ways like a little lap dog.  She begs for treats, she follows me around, she needs to be nearby, has some separation issues when she is away from me, sleeps at my feet every night.  Yes, she is my "baby" and spoiled rotten, lol.  But she behaves!

But back to the nails issue...I will do that for both of them.  There is NO way, even with two people and a towel that Sparky's nails can be clipped.  Socks I can do easily most times, especially since she love foot massages (yes she gets them often, lol), but just as easy to have the vet do it.

But really Dusky, what do you think of the idea of trying to redirect Sparky's view of who is his caregiver and trying to tame his attitude that way?  Does it make any sense to you?  I really don't want to give up on him, ban him to outside or find him a new home.  But I do want him re-adjusted to be a more acceptable member of our weird little family.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls
I think since the owner is unwilling to step up to her responsibilities, and the cat is destroying everyone's quality of life, someone else must. Nature abhors a vacuum, so if you don't fill it, Sparky will! I think you should do it, girl. If it were me, I'd insist upon ground rules with the other gal, and she MUST be willing to change her behavior towards him, which you've indicated she may already be in the process of doing. She may have never had a good role model for how to deal with such behavior in cats, and you can be a good one for her.ain

quote:


If you have enough power in the relationship, insist she get on board. Teach and train her how to be observant of Sparky, and to learn to be instantly responsive, in an appropriate alpha manner, to/with him. My guess is she'd be delighted to relieve herself of being the main person responsible for directing and correcting the cat, which she was obviously doing a piss poor job of anyway.

quote:


If you can't find helpful cat training techniques by web searching, feel free to pm me anytime. I don't know everything, but will certainly share what I do know.

BTW, I think this is a powerfully, proactive, and positive direction in taking back your power. Congratulations, my girl, and good luck!

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls
I think since the owner is unwilling to step up to her responsibilities, and the cat is destroying everyone's quality of life, someone else must. Nature abhors a vacuum, so if you don't fill it, Sparky will! I think you should do it, girl. If it were me, I'd insist upon ground rules with the other gal, and she MUST be willing to change her behavior towards him, which you've indicated she may already be in the process of doing. She may have never had a good role model for how to deal with such behavior in cats, and you can be a good one for her.ain

My housemate is a guy, lol.  He is a really sweet guy, but due to some issues in his past, he is very passive and never learned certain life skills.  In some ways, it is like having another child to raise.  But he has a good heart, and we are making a lot of progress overall.  He knows he hasn't done what he should with Sparky, but his personality has kind of been a road block in that area.  Believe me, from the moment I moved in, there were definate ground rules set.  Especially with us moving into a really nice house (which this one is soo not nice, lol). 

The most difficult thing with him, next to not disciplining Sparky as he should have, is that because Socks is an attention whore, and will calmly and sweetly sit on his lap looking for affection, he is giving it to her.  This of course doesn't help Sparky's attitude, but we are working on that as well.  It's hard telling him he has to ignore Socks, lol.

quote:


If you have enough power in the relationship, insist she get on board. Teach and train her how to be observant of Sparky, and to learn to be instantly responsive, in an appropriate alpha manner, to/with him. My guess is she'd be delighted to relieve herself of being the main person responsible for directing and correcting the cat, which she was obviously doing a piss poor job of anyway.

I definately have the power in the relationship, lol.  We are not in an intimate relationship, just friends (without benefits), but the issues that he has extend beyond not being able to be an alpha to the cat.  He is a recovering agoraphobic with social anxiety.  He has trouble being assertive not just with Sparky, but with his doctors, telemarketers, credit card companies, the guy behind the deli counter at the grocery store.  So my "job" has been to not only help him learn to be a better "daddy" to Sparky, but to help him take tiny steps in the world and learning to communicate his needs to those people.  I'm really so proud of the progress he has made, and tonight I was figuratively jumping with joy when he verbally corrected Sparky. 

quote:


If you can't find helpful cat training techniques by web searching, feel free to pm me anytime. I don't know everything, but will certainly share what I do know.

BTW, I think this is a powerfully, proactive, and positive direction in taking back your power. Congratulations, my girl, and good luck!

Oh you know I will pm you with any questions about the cat and other things, lol!  You have been wonderfully, amazingly helpful not only with the Sparky issue but other things as well.  I'm grateful to have to have the support and ear of someone like you.