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I have a question - 12/13/2011 6:17:15 PM   
SirLangsdorff


Posts: 289
Joined: 12/12/2010
Status: offline 		I met a person on here and we're exploring M/s relationship. We've been getting to know one another through extended emails and chats on messenger. We even have a visit set up, but it seems the communication has all but died. How I learned about my Dom side was not conventional and can be read in my profile to avoid retyping it. But from what I have noticed is that lack of communicating is a lack of interest. Am I playing too much into this communicating thing or is this something I should worry about? I am totally in the dark.
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RE: I have a question - 12/13/2011 7:43:27 PM   
RexDarcy


Posts: 597
Joined: 6/23/2010
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		If I were experiencing a lack or break down of communication with somebody I was involved with or just getting to know, I would be having a discussion with them about why the communication isn't as good as it could be.



_____________________________

"Don't fall away, and leave love bleeding."

"I am who I am today because of choices I made yesterday."

"To bring the pieces back together - rediscover communication."

(in reply to SirLangsdorff)
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RE: I have a question - 12/13/2011 8:16:09 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		I'm not sure which thing you're referring to when you mention "learnning about your Dom side." Are you talking about ot having much real-life experience?

I agree with. Rex - the only person who can help clarify communication issues is the person you're having issues with. Ooor maaaaybe a very good friend who knows you both. But random internet fol don't fit either category.

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to RexDarcy)
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RE: I have a question - 12/13/2011 8:24:24 PM   
winspiritsbaby


Posts: 141
Status: offline 		Communication is very important in any relationship. If the communication is lacking then I think it would be a very good idea to talk to this person as RexDarcy has suggested. You won't know what the problem is and what can be done to fix it if you don't ask.

(in reply to SirLangsdorff)
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RE: I have a question - 12/13/2011 8:33:45 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		It's online, not RL.  That happens.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to winspiritsbaby)
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RE: I have a question - 12/13/2011 8:42:28 PM   
InvisibleBlack


Posts: 865
Joined: 7/24/2009
Status: offline 		-FR-

There is a big difference between "our communication isn't what it should be" and "they've stopped responding to me in any way for weeks".

If it's the latter, while it's possible some real-life emergency has emerged which entirely prevents them from even having the opportunity to let you know about it, it's more likely that they're not interested. This may well have nothing to do with you - they may have been dabbling on this site and things got too serious for them, they may already be involved and this is just an outlet for some imaginary fun, they may be someone completely different who just logs in here to make bizarre profiles, they may have been intrigued by this lifestyle but then backed off when things got possibly too real.

Have you asked them about the lack of response? How long have they been silent? A day or two is no big deal. A month with no replies after you've been conversing steadily would make me assume things are done. You say you have a meet set up ... I would think they'd talk to you before then to firm up plans ... but the meeting will settle things one way or another.

_____________________________

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.

(in reply to SirLangsdorff)
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RE: I have a question - 12/14/2011 3:15:06 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLangsdorff

I met a person on here and we're exploring M/s relationship. We've been getting to know one another through extended emails and chats on messenger. We even have a visit set up, but it seems the communication has all but died. How I learned about my Dom side was not conventional and can be read in my profile to avoid retyping it. But from what I have noticed is that lack of communicating is a lack of interest. Am I playing too much into this communicating thing or is this something I should worry about? I am totally in the dark.


I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the number of times I've had a meeting date set up only to never hear from him again after he asks me. Communication dies online in an instant. I do believe that's simply how it goes with online searching. Ergo, I've turned in that towel and am going to lurk around military bases and fire stations, instead.

(in reply to SirLangsdorff)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: I have a question - 12/14/2011 7:48:13 AM   
RexCorvus


Posts: 84
Joined: 11/27/2011
Status: offline 		Were I in your situation my first assumption would be that the other person had decided they didn't want to meet in person after all, and so was trying to ditch me. I wouldn't assume it was a problem of me not communicating well but of the other person not wanting to communicate at all. It doesn't matter how charming and effective a communicator you are, if they've decided they're not interested for any number of reasons the relationship is pretty much over. Now that totally might not be what's going on here, and you should definitely ask the other person involved, but that's what my first guess would be in such a case.

(in reply to SirLangsdorff)
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RE: I have a question - 12/14/2011 8:03:21 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I met a person on here and we're exploring M/s relationship. We've been getting to know one another through extended emails and chats on messenger. We even have a visit set up, but it seems the communication has all but died.


That happened to me. People flake. My guy flaked after he realized I was expecting sex ;)

Before he officially flaked, his communication dwindled considerably.











< Message edited by kalikshama -- 12/14/2011 8:05:22 AM >

(in reply to SirLangsdorff)
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RE: I have a question - 12/14/2011 8:18:37 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		If they're not responding to you online they no longer are interested.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: I have a question - 12/14/2011 8:31:15 AM   
HisPet21


Posts: 395
Status: offline 		Yeah, if its online and the communication has stopped, the sub is no longer interested. Perhaps she dropped off because she wanted the rush of submission, but in a safe, online environment. As soon as a real life meeting was set up, she could have flown the coop. Maybe she is just bored with you, or feels guilty about her desires and has just now decided to call it quits. Without talking to her, we don't know. But, if communication has ceased, she is no longer interested.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: I have a question - 12/14/2011 9:20:49 AM   
SirLangsdorff


Posts: 289
Joined: 12/12/2010
Status: offline 		Seems he is too busy to talk but can facebook or whatever he does online, which is my big concern. He  has email of mine and probably take less time to send one, but yet I never hear from. We spoke last night but he was "busy" I could tell, but he wants to talk during the day when his "football games" were on. I'll let you know how I feel after that chat. Yes, I've had several online "flakes" in the past which is why I'm so consumed with communicating.

(in reply to HisPet21)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I have a question - 12/14/2011 11:28:28 AM   
oddlots347


Posts: 91
Joined: 6/4/2011
Status: offline 		Didi you ever talk to them over the phone?? Or has it just been email and messenger?

(in reply to SirLangsdorff)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I have a question - 12/14/2011 12:02:54 PM   
SirLangsdorff


Posts: 289
Joined: 12/12/2010
Status: offline 		He is having his computer "worked on" but it's been a while, not sure how long a computer fix is or what was wrong. Honesty and transparency rules with me but I don't want to accuse him of anything without being sure. I've been very forthright with him about my situation. I don't have a phone but I do have google voice I could use. But at this point it's only been messenger and email

(in reply to oddlots347)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: I have a question - 12/14/2011 1:42:57 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLangsdorff

He is having his computer "worked on" but it's been a while, not sure how long a computer fix is or what was wrong. Honesty and transparency rules with me but I don't want to accuse him of anything without being sure. I've been very forthright with him about my situation. I don't have a phone but I do have google voice I could use. But at this point it's only been messenger and email



The message your getting is the same one you would get in real life when someone doesn't call you back. What is so hard to understand that they lost interest in you???

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to SirLangsdorff)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I have a question - 12/14/2011 1:44:56 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		I think you get this already but...


quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLangsdorff
Am I playing too much into this communicating thing or is this something I should worry about?


Nope don't worry about it a bit.

quote:


I am totally in the dark.


That's cuz you're the only person left in the relationship room and the last person to leave turned the lights out.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to SirLangsdorff)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I have a question - 12/14/2011 1:45:56 PM   
oddlots347


Posts: 91
Joined: 6/4/2011
Status: offline 		  I would think about maybe just backing off a bit and giving them time to respond  and if they do not then maybe it is time to move on.

(in reply to SirLangsdorff)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: I have a question - 12/14/2011 2:15:35 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It sounds like whoever you have been chatting to is fine with online but got cold feet once you decided to meet. It happens.
Either because they;re afraid of rejection when you meet, or they haven't told you the truth during chat.

Lots of males pretend to be females online. Lots of people who are married exploring a fantasy of what life would be like if they were single. Lots of people who don't tell the truth about their age/height/weight/hair color etc.

In the future, meet as soon as possible with no pressure, just for coffee. And don't overinvest in a relationship that hasn't become real yet.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to oddlots347)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: I have a question - 12/14/2011 3:24:49 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		To many people this M/s or D/s stuff is really appealing and a huge turn on. However, when faced with a real encounter they bail. It's common and not unusual. If the person you have been communicating with stops getting in touch with you, then they have probably decided that they are not ready for a face to face meeting.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to SirLangsdorff)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: I have a question - 12/14/2011 6:05:23 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		LOL...you're being taken for a ride dude...oldest excuse in the book...."my computer is in the shop" and only wants to talk "while his football is on"...aka while his wife or boyfriend or whatever is at work or while he's at work using the company computer.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 20
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