RE: Climbing the kink ladder

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RE: Climbing the kink ladder - 12/20/2011 5:38:18 PM

tazzygirl

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quote:

Like the time he called me a cunt in front of my mom.

LOL

Bet that went over well. The ex told my mother that I was acting like a bitch (he was actually complaining because I borrowed his razor the night before ) My mom told him "Of course she is, she is my daughter".

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RE: Climbing the kink ladder - 12/20/2011 5:44:40 PM

sheisreeds

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My parents are used to my strangeness by now, and are old hippies. My love of violence confuses them a little but they're completely thrilled I'm not normal.

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You need a spankin' baby!

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RE: Climbing the kink ladder - 12/20/2011 5:55:47 PM

tazzygirl

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i was, as my father puts it, "such a good girl, then bitch set in at 15".

Actually, slut had set in before that, they just didnt know.

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to sheisreeds)

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Post #: 83

RE: Climbing the kink ladder - 12/20/2011 7:01:50 PM

sheisreeds

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To close on family:

I don't pain them with details but I'm certain they get the general idea about my personal life. They know I'm happy and strange and that's all that really matters to them.

Back on the original original topic:

My other half and I were just talking and kinda agreed that "we dipped our toes in and then drowned in the pool", also that were not really getting kinkier, but we're definitely getting naughtier.

If I had to draw the line from clueless to completely fubared with kink it wouldn't be a straight line, it'd kind of look like a conspiracy theorist's rendering of JFK's magic bullet.

Also to echo earlier sentiments in this thread the kinkiness of our relationship has ebbed and flowed, just as it has throughout my life (come on! at 19 my labia got nicknamed "pirate ear", and at 24 I was completely vanilla!). Though what I am and the kinds of things I want to do never change.

My partner is about the same, and he never really identified with BDSM prior to me, though kinda put together that was why he likes his face being slapped and all those times chicks made his back bleed with their nails began to make sense.

Going in line with the "do we have to be taught this" and the "extreme" thread, we were playing with blood, needles, fire, wax, deep bruising and knives within months of getting together. Largely because we had skills and interests outside of kink that we brought into our play. So we didn't have a particularly slow evolution, we met and suddenly exploded into painful bliss.

As I say at work all the time, "We always know a lesson once it's been learn, sometimes we just need to gather the missing pieces to put it into practice".

< Message edited by sheisreeds -- 12/20/2011 7:05:45 PM >

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You need a spankin' baby!

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RE: Climbing the kink ladder - 12/20/2011 11:08:57 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

Another had stated, "...one could argue quite successfully that without the kink he would not be the person that you adore and fell in love with."

Thus, the above incorrectly assumes/implies: No Kink = No Love = No Enchilada.

I can see that point though. If you change one aspect of a personality, would you not also being changing the whole personality?

I'm not sure I understand your question?!!

As an aside, maybe some of the confusion in what I've experessed here is rooted in my view of "kink" and the "power dynamic" as being two completely separate things?!! For example, I don't personally view "kink" as a "personality" trait... but I do view one identifying as a D/M-type or s-type as such. That might help clarify things a bit... for me, anyway.

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RE: Climbing the kink ladder - 12/21/2011 5:32:43 AM

sheisreeds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

Another had stated, "...one could argue quite successfully that without the kink he would not be the person that you adore and fell in love with."

Thus, the above incorrectly assumes/implies: No Kink = No Love = No Enchilada.

I can see that point though. If you change one aspect of a personality, would you not also being changing the whole personality?

I'm not sure I understand your question?!!

As an aside, maybe some of the confusion in what I've experessed here is rooted in my view of "kink" and the "power dynamic" as being two completely separate things?!! For example, I don't personally view "kink" as a "personality" trait... but I do view one identifying as a D/M-type or s-type as such. That might help clarify things a bit... for me, anyway.

Ok to add some of my own clarification :)

I agree that kink and the "power dynamic" are two separate things, though sometimes I just say kink. I also think both things can be very intertwined. For me the importance of differentiating the two is that a relationship can be kinky with no power dynamic, and vice versa.

I also agree that role is not a personality trait. My ex-husband would shit himself if he saw a five minute clip of my current relationship. And if my current partner saw a five minute clip of my marriage he'd likely never want to be with me :)

However, the relationship, especially when the dynamic runs 24/7 carries a personality of it's own. I know at least in my relationship my actual personality when mixed with his goes a long way in encouraging the dynamic and our behavior. The set of norms we have established allow by default.

Meaning that there is something about him that just makes me want to smack him. There is something about us that leaves the coin perpetually spinning in the air.

Though w/out the BDSM construct we've put into our relationship it'd be something else. I'd also argue that since we've started down this road, there is no going back, there won't ever be a day that we behave "normally".

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~ s.

Oh my darling, give me reason
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You need a spankin' baby!

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RE: Climbing the kink ladder - 12/21/2011 12:36:30 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sheisreeds

My ex-husband would shit himself if he saw a five minute clip of my current relationship.

Hmmm... am I the only one thinking said "five minute clip" would make a FINE Christmas present?!!

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RE: Climbing the kink ladder - 12/23/2011 1:16:42 AM

Whiplashsmile4

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This all has seemed very much like "Up and Down" the ladder for me in many ways. There's some activities that I'm content with, other things I wish to go higher with.

The differences and contrasts from relationship to relationship is rather amazing, or just experiences in general. Opportunity presents itself, and being faced with exploring into higher levels or not. To seize the moment or not, does one even want to even go there. yeah, This is a pretty generalized response.

It's always varied for me depending upon who I'm doing this madness with.

I'm not certain what the future holds in store. All honestly, I feels like I have more than one ladder that I'm climbing up/down. Hope this somehow makes sense.

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Post #: 88