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RE: scammer - 12/19/2011 6:10:06 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dwntherabbithole

I read the OP's message, and it elicited in me a bit of sadness. Why? Well, I am not sure anyone actually cares why, but I will share the why of it anyway. I think mainly it's the fact that many of us, as a group, have chosen or decided to live our romantic and sexual lives in a niche: we lead an alternative lifestyle, and one that is not very well understood or accepted in a vast majority of cases and locales. So here we congregate, hoping to find, well, I cannot really speak for anyone else except for myself, but I am hoping to find love. I know how completely sappy that sounds, trust me, but it is also very true. On this site, and others, I network out and hope to find something real. I am quite sure that others here feel the same.

Welcome to the forum side. You write very well - do stick around.

Have you tried connecting to your local BDSM scene? Your odds as a male slave might be better there.

Check out the Ask A Mistress section for other tips on how to find what you seek.

Please pardon this unsolicited advice - most of your profile is quite good but do consider deleting your 12/13 journal entry - while it was the most innocuous bit of negativity I've come across, complaining about people on the site, however gently, is a faux pas.

You also sound depressed. {{{{{{{Hugs }}}}}}}

(in reply to dwntherabbithole)

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Post #: 61

RE: scammer - 12/19/2011 7:48:17 PM

dwntherabbithole

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/15/2011
Status: offline

I don't know quite yet how I view him, or if I will ever have the facts in hand required to make a definitive judgment. Chances are, likely not. I decided to attempt to view his actions with a sympathetic eye. Not sure if my arguments to that effect ring true or not. Still, he *might* be a hopeless, and now poor, romantic. Maybe?

As far as seeing the signs, they are fairly obvious. But, then again, sometimes not, at least to me. But you learn as you go. I think bottom line is that it comes down to money and shoes: asking for either one simply to converse with you is a sure sign that someone is waiting, keys in hand, to take you for a ride. And a little sad, because chances are that there are men out there willing to provide either to have that conversation, for lust or for loneliness. But now, the conversation comes full circle.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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Post #: 62

RE: scammer - 12/19/2011 7:52:23 PM

dwntherabbithole

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/15/2011
Status: offline

Well, I knew at least part of my post would come across as a whiny advertisement: oh, the plight of the submissive male, poor me! For that, I rebuke myself: it was not my intention.

As for your advice, thank you very much, and for your welcome. Very nice of you. I realize I should take down that single journal entry, but I meant it when I wrote it, and attempted to keep it as generic as possible. It is what I believe, but perhaps it sounds a little bitter. And I would much rather sound depressed (though I am not, really) than bitter. So, you know what, I think you are right about that. Thank you again.

(in reply to kalikshama)

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Post #: 63

RE: scammer - 12/20/2011 8:36:26 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dwntherabbithole

Now, at this point, I know I am being scammed, as should anyone with any sense, and I end things fairly quickly. So, I am not out anything of value, but I am left with a fair amount of disappointment. That's the part that hurts. And so my little "woe is me" essay, which does sound so "woe is me"-ish as I read it back to myself, but is not really meant that way. I speak in personal terms based on some of my experiences, and while I have run across the odd bad actor, I have also met some pretty nice people as well. It's a mixed bag, of course, just like life.

So, what's the point? I think a lot of people have piled on the OP, some for good reason, but I wonder if he's acting more out of emotional distress at unmet needs than, say, unrequited and stupefying lust. Sure, he could be a sex crazed idiot who deserves everything that's coming to him. If that's the case, he'll go broke before he does any real damage. But my more charitable angels wonder if this was an act of a man spurned in love. Several times over. Losing his pension in the process. Well, it could happen.

Welcome to Collarme!

I understand your compassion for him.

Loneliness can be a very difficult thing and the desire to fall in love can be very strong... and desperation will usually lead to a poor outcome.

It took me 18 months for the man who became my Master to find me here.
Truth is I wasn't actively looking and was going in a whole different direction when he first sent me a cmail on the other side.

He is my One.

I think impatience is often at the root of many poor decisions either here or in the vanilla world.
Since I haven't done vanilla online dating I don't know how prevalent scammers are there, but where there is opportunity there will always be predation.

I think the people who either fall in love with love or fall in love with lust tend to find themselves in trouble very easily.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to dwntherabbithole)

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Post #: 64

RE: scammer - 12/20/2011 8:55:42 AM

Duskypearls

Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: dwntherabbithole

Now, at this point, I know I am being scammed, as should anyone with any sense, and I end things fairly quickly. So, I am not out anything of value, but I am left with a fair amount of disappointment. That's the part that hurts. And so my little "woe is me" essay, which does sound so "woe is me"-ish as I read it back to myself, but is not really meant that way. I speak in personal terms based on some of my experiences, and while I have run across the odd bad actor, I have also met some pretty nice people as well. It's a mixed bag, of course, just like life.

So, what's the point? I think a lot of people have piled on the OP, some for good reason, but I wonder if he's acting more out of emotional distress at unmet needs than, say, unrequited and stupefying lust. Sure, he could be a sex crazed idiot who deserves everything that's coming to him. If that's the case, he'll go broke before he does any real damage. But my more charitable angels wonder if this was an act of a man spurned in love. Several times over. Losing his pension in the process. Well, it could happen.

Welcome to Collarme!

I understand your compassion for him.

Loneliness can be a very difficult thing and the desire to fall in love can be very strong... and desperation will usually lead to a poor outcome.

It took me 18 months for the man who became my Master to find me here.
Truth is I wasn't actively looking and was going in a whole different direction when he first sent me a cmail on the other side.

He is my One.

I think impatience is often at the root of many poor decisions either here or in the vanilla world.
Since I haven't done vanilla online dating I don't know how prevalent scammers are there, but where there is opportunity there will always be predation.

I think the people who either fall in love with love or fall in love with lust tend to find themselves in trouble very easily.

All very wise words, my dear.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

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Post #: 65

RE: scammer - 12/20/2011 9:28:43 PM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
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From someone lucky.

T^T

(in reply to Duskypearls)

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Post #: 66

RE: scammer - 12/20/2011 9:56:53 PM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
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Or perhaps she was emotionally and mentally ready for a relationship and was able to recognize a keeper when she met him?

I think we often sabotage ourselves when it comes to relationships, very often with negativity.

(in reply to Termyn8or)

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Post #: 67