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RE: Feelin lost in the shuffle - 12/26/2011 8:44:52 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Umm... you feel totally ignored but state that the lack of photos seldom make a difference? Thats confusing. Do you have photos up on the other sites?

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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
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(in reply to Kefka750)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Feelin lost in the shuffle - 12/26/2011 8:49:55 AM   
Kefka750


Posts: 2
Joined: 12/12/2011
Status: offline
quote:

Umm... you feel totally ignored but state that the lack of photos seldom make a difference? Thats confusing. Do you have photos up on the other sites?


Yeah..wow. English skills fail on communication, sorry.

I do have photos on my FL and some other places I post that are BDSM oriented. Due to some technical issues I'm waiting to upload them here. I did get my new camera for xmas though, which will make new ones easier :)

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Feelin lost in the shuffle - 12/26/2011 9:12:23 AM   
sheisreeds


Posts: 578
Joined: 7/8/2008
Status: offline 		Well FL isn't really a personals site.

I'd look at your profile text too, it's long, starts out with you saying your lazy, and leads with the open relationship, then gets into what you're looking for.

Also, as a woman who has had some luck on this site, it's always worked out best when I initiated contact.

Not trying to decipher who was real, and who was really interest by reading through hundreds of messages.

If you want to find someone look like you're willing to work for it.

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Oh my darling, give me reason
give me something to believe in


You need a spankin' baby!

(in reply to Kefka750)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Feelin lost in the shuffle - 12/26/2011 11:59:18 AM   
Dscouple7383


Posts: 32
Joined: 4/20/2011
Status: offline 		I hate to be the one to say this, but it IS something that needs to be said.
Sometimes, people don't get messages or the responses that they want, because they aren't that attractive.

And unfortunately, there's not much you can do to change that.

The good news, is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that there is someone out there for everyone. That said, obviously, looks aren't everything....HOWEVER....nobody can look you in the soul by reading your profile, no matter WHAT you put in there. They CAN look at your picture....so make it look as good as you can, without changing or altering it.

It takes time, and patience. Most doms on here think that JUST because they are a dom, subs should just WANT them because of their dominance. That is SO not true.

Hope this helps!!

Derek

(in reply to sheisreeds)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Feelin lost in the shuffle - 12/26/2011 3:25:17 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
...
1. Make your pictures show who you ARE.  Pictures of you in a suit, closing a sale.  Pics of you rewiring a house.  Pics of you wrestling a Kodiak bear, or swimming the Bering Sea. A pic of you working on a computer, or reading a book.  Show what activities you like.



Soooo, DS, you sexy beast.  Does this mean you are a plumber?

OP, your profile looks just fine.  The blacked out photo was intriguing enough for me to spend a moment pondering what was hidden in the background.  My money is on a DnD Dungeon Master Conference (no pun intended.) 

My only advice, break the text up into paragraphs for ease of reading. 

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Feelin lost in the shuffle - 12/29/2011 6:40:00 PM   
meuncensored


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/29/2011
Status: offline 		I'm new to this site and appreciate the input from all of you! Thanks for asking the question quinnmalcolm!
@Masterslavela - cock shots in a first email gets them deleted from my inbox. I can see all those I want online - I want to get to know the person that's writing.

(in reply to Kefka750)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Feelin lost in the shuffle - 12/30/2011 5:43:11 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: quinnmalcolm

I don't mind taking my time, but I am a little overwhelmed how many more guys are out there. It is hard enough standing out or even getting any sort of reply from the subs. It's been ages and even then I had to leave Alaska just to find someone. I am uncertain how even to get so much as a reply from anyone and looking for advice. I will admit in my younger days I was a douchey arrogant jackass. It worked swimmingly but I am tired of that. I enjoy the dominant lifestyle but I feel different now that I'm older. But at the same time that seems to be the ones that get the attention. I can be patient and stick it out, but I could use some advice and thoughts to get replies or any subs interested in simply starting a conversation. help? Advice? Or is this the right section?


1-Don't sweat the numbers game. Most of it is BS. Think about it like this-the standard quoted boy/girl ratio on sites like this is about 10/1. But of those 10, 6 are wankers and HNG's who send shit like "I am your domly God, strip, drop and suck because I now own you 4evere" (Misspelling intentional), 2 are outright frauds from deep in the heart of Nigeria and 1 is gonna be a misogynist swine.
Which means that you are really only competing against a few folks, and ya know what-after the ridiculous and absurd responses a real genuine one will shine that much brighter.
In other words, the numbers game can be an advantage, not a drag.

2-Yea,yea,yea, I know what the numbers say, but lemme share a truth with you-IJMHO and all, but it's a lot, as in a whole lot, easier for a serious real male dom to find  a real fem sub/slave than the other way around. Think about some local groups-the guys get snatched up right away and there are usually one or two subs eying the relationship, more than willing to step in if there is an opening.
Not just that, but after you remove all the wankers, HNG's, freaks and fakes, I strongly strongly suspect there are more fem sub/slaves available than sane, non misogynist male Doms who actually have a clue on how to deal with people, rule with authority yet still be strong enough to be compassionate and emotionally open.
Hell, vanilla gals can't find that and they have a much larger talent pool!

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HST

(in reply to quinnmalcolm)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Feelin lost in the shuffle - 1/20/2012 7:49:55 PM   
orimotis69


Posts: 69
Joined: 10/21/2011
Status: offline 		I feel your pain dude. I'm not getting much of a response from my profile either. Don't let it get you down man.

OK, so I just learned that only about a third of the total cmails I sent should get a response. Correction, on OKCupid. I'm willing to bet that number would be cut in half on CM.
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/how-to-get-people-to-reply-to-your-messages-in-online-dating-part-i/

< Message edited by orimotis69 -- 1/20/2012 7:50:24 PM >

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Feelin lost in the shuffle - 1/20/2012 8:03:59 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: orimotis69

I feel your pain dude. I'm not getting much of a response from my profile either. Don't let it get you down man.

OK, so I just learned that only about a third of the total cmails I sent should get a response. Correction, on OKCupid. I'm willing to bet that number would be cut in half on CM.
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/how-to-get-people-to-reply-to-your-messages-in-online-dating-part-i/


I'm hoping you aren't just relying on women to respond to your profile...right? You are contacting them too....?

(in reply to orimotis69)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Feelin lost in the shuffle - 1/20/2012 8:29:33 PM   
orimotis69


Posts: 69
Joined: 10/21/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: orimotis69

I feel your pain dude. I'm not getting much of a response from my profile either. Don't let it get you down man.

OK, so I just learned that only about a third of the total cmails I sent should get a response. Correction, on OKCupid. I'm willing to bet that number would be cut in half on CM.
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/how-to-get-people-to-reply-to-your-messages-in-online-dating-part-i/


I'm hoping you aren't just relying on women to respond to your profile...right? You are contacting them too....?


I was referring to the number of messages I sent out. I've gotten a few that were friendly messages but nothing that stated they were interested in me.
Correction, I did get one who was kinda interested but she was in Sweden.
I'll have to crunch the numbers sometime.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Feelin lost in the shuffle - 1/20/2012 8:30:32 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Remember, orimotis, all you need is one good one.

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Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to orimotis69)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Feelin lost in the shuffle - 1/20/2012 8:57:34 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Orimotis, have  you tried anything in RL like a munch yet? That would give you a way to expand your search. Even if Miss Wonderful wasn't there when you were you could meet some others who might know someone. Definitely worth a try I'd say. Or how about meeting a woman and converting her? 

(in reply to orimotis69)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Feelin lost in the shuffle - 1/20/2012 9:38:17 PM   
orimotis69


Posts: 69
Joined: 10/21/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

Orimotis, have  you tried anything in RL like a munch yet? That would give you a way to expand your search. Even if Miss Wonderful wasn't there when you were you could meet some others who might know someone. Definitely worth a try I'd say. Or how about meeting a woman and converting her? 

For me it's mostly a transportation issue. The Munch in New Jersey is in Bridgewater(North Jersey) and I'm in south jersey. Could I start one myself, maybe. But I'm not really good at starting groups since the last group I tried to start was a gamer group and I was the only one that showed up. it was a little embarrassing. Not to mention I want to move out of south jersey ASAP.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Feelin lost in the shuffle - 1/20/2012 10:01:48 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline 		There you go. This door swings both ways. It's a bit frustrating to connect because you seem to be ignored but I think you'll find you will be ignored by everyone except the one(s) for you because they will connect with your profile and your pictures and your way of introducing yourself in cmails you approach them with.

So, although you have some good advice givers here, and they do give good advice, you do really know how to approach the girl for you, approach them they way you want to and are comfortable doing and use the pictures you think are best and write to them the way you are comfortable writing while remembering these are women not objects and they will respond to you here (if a little jaded by bad experiences previously with the type of Doms you think are getting all the attention) just the same way they would if you approach them at the bar, be yourself, be confident and be respectful of them as you would any woman you approach outside of CM.

On profiles and their effectiveness, I find some here put a lot of emphasis on it when giving advice but my experience since starting here as Masterlink in 2005 that the profile is less important than how you approach them in a cm mail and the cmail sells them before they even seen your profile and honestly the men here will tell you that same thing, those who successfully met and dated women from here.

I like your profile and pictures myself and thing they hit home in the "I'm real and I'm honest about myself" department and you will be successfull if you be yourself and not superdomo asswhole that you think characterize the Doms who you think get all the attention, they don't by the way.

Well wishes,
Arturas

< Message edited by Arturas -- 1/20/2012 10:07:23 PM >

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(in reply to Kefka750)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Feelin lost in the shuffle - 1/21/2012 3:28:49 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hey OP

I've taken a peek at your profile and your comments here and I think you'll do alright, man.

I've sent you CMail, though, with a couple of teensy tips.

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Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to quinnmalcolm)
Profile   Post #: 35
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