RE: Worst gift...EVER! (Full Version)

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Winterapple -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/24/2011 10:50:50 AM)

I'm sorry, hausboy but that is a awful but hilarious story.
But, seriously why don't you go the give
a gift to charity in their name route?
Choose a obscure charity like a bat
sanctuary or something. Maybe they'll
knock it off with the lousy "gifts".
If I've ever gotten a gift so bad it was
insulting I've blanked it out.
I do have a friend who gives everyone
utterly clueless gifts.
One year she gave me a wind up clown
for a Xmas present. When you cranked
him up he would beat a drum while tinkly
circus music played. It was a maniacal
looking clown, like a serial killer clown.
And the music was creepy as hell.
I use to joke that when I went to
sleep the clown would slowly come
to life, begin beating the drum and
entreating the other knickknacks to
'kill the girl'.
This gift was given with no irony.
She said she knew I would just love it.
I hate clowns even when they don't
look like serial killers and this is a person
I've known all my life. But no irony, no
kitsch overtones, no private joke about
me hating clowns. A sincere clueless gift.
Another year she gave me a marked down
snowglobe. This wasn't entirely clueless
as I use to collect snowglobes. But the
water had begun to go murky and instead
if snow there was glitter. It was a nativity
scene snowglobe and the water got darker
and darker and the glitter was very funky
looking. When you shook it, it looked like
nuclear debris and acid rain was falling
on Joseph, Mary and the baby Jesus.








ShaharThorne -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/24/2011 4:55:17 PM)

My worse gift...a ring.  A cheapo ring that did not fit my swollen fingers.

I forsaken any jewelry since then.  I should repriece my lobes since those holes closed up.  I love dangling earrings. 



lizi -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/24/2011 6:07:59 PM)

My mother gives very strange gifts. She got me tea last year, I don't drink tea. She got me Christmas pillows this year, I do not decorate for Christmas other than putting up a tree. She got me a Santa riding a motorcycle that plays Born to Be Wild one year, I was appalled. She got me a 'planter' one year, it was a used ice bucket designed to look like a Chinese urn from a rummage sale- sticky tag still on it for 3$.

She continually embroiders pillow cases for me which I detest, the material the cases are made of are the cheapest white cotton available - you can see though it and it's scratchy. And have you ever laid on an embroidered pillow case? It hurts. The lumpy embroidery kills my face. I got 2 sets this year  [:-]

She got my ex a decorative Santa this year....he's a single guy living alone, he doesn't decorate at all for any holiday. She got my oldest son a decorative stuffed snowman - he's a guy living alone and doesn't decorate for any holiday.

She got me 2 sets of knives this year too. One set of 3 'santoku' knives said on the package that they were advertised on tv. The other set of 8 knives were on a cardboard backing with plastic stapled to it. I am 50, I've been on my own for 33 years, I have knives, good ones. She's used them at my house before to cook with. One set of good knives pretty much sets you up for life as they don't get used up or go bad. I don't like cheap knives but now I own 11.

An ex of the oldest son gave me a book in french one year, I don't read french. It's on my bookshelf just in case I run into someone who can someday.

Edited to add:  http://whydidyoubuymethat.com/  
This site is hysterical, I've almost peed my pants laughing like a loon about many of the postings.



MadAxeman -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/24/2011 11:06:49 PM)


At my local pub a good few years ago a Boxing Day tradition developed where we had to turn up wearing the worst of our Christmas gifted clothing.
Jumpers so luminously bad they could make a blind person wince, old mannish or childlike slippers with animal/cartoon motifs, those who received bundled packs of socks wore one of each in mismatched pairs.
Underwear had to be worn outside the trousers and terrible toiletries had to be squirted on to eyewatering excess, half the can or bottle of each applied to a nauseating level. The place would smell like a bordello in Rangoon.
Every year we would try to out do each other.
There's something life affirming about having a drink with a grown man wearing a Batman cape or Bart Simpson pyjamas borrowed from his son's stash, straining to contain his beer gut.

Amongst my closer friends this was taken to a more sarcastic level. Bald guys got 'My Little Hairdresser' type plastic hairdryers and combs from the £1 shop, fat blokes received skipping ropes. It was common to get a home made card with a tea bag inside 'I got you a drink' being the scrawled salutation.
Those considered mean with money might get a tube of KY Jelly
'because you're so tight'

My favourite gifting was to my brother a couple of years ago, when I used all the boxes and polystyrene chips accumulated during Christmas shopping and unwrapping that fitted inside one another like Russian dolls.

Each box was in a different sheet of paper, each revealed layer brought a sigh of frustration and the question 'is there anything actually in here?'
This took over an hour until finally he came to a smallish flat package.

He ripped it open to reveal a strip of cheap batteries and a tag saying
'gift not included'

He did manage a watery sneer and remarked
'but these will come in useful'

I reminded him of his soap on a rope prezzie, ate his last mince pie and left before he found out I had replaced the new ones with some that were dead.

Merry Christmas everyone.



LanceHughes -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/24/2011 11:16:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: 0ldhen
A mouse from my kitty cat, neatly laid on the Xmas tree skirt......But at least he caught it fresh just for me!!!!!!


// Lance snorts eggnog..... OWWWW! //



hausboy -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/25/2011 9:35:52 AM)

Thanks all--you know, I give two people donations every year....because both of them are those folks that "have everything" and both have charities dear to them....so I think that is what I'll do from now on.  I mentioned this once to my brother who shrugged and said he didn't think it would "go over well."
But yup--I think that is EXACTLY what I'm going to do next year....that way I can feel good about spending the money....without resentment.

I suspect next year I'm going to get a pocket comb.



xxblushesxx -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/25/2011 9:38:18 AM)

Good. And who cares if they never give you anything? Sheesh, nothing is better than the junk from someone else's freezer...Although it makes a heckofa story, you gotta admit!



hausboy -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/25/2011 9:46:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Good. And who cares if they never give you anything? Sheesh, nothing is better than the junk from someone else's freezer...Although it makes a heckofa story, you gotta admit!



I would prefer nothing at all.  I asked her to ask her son who is now 12...to make me cookies or chocolates (he's very gifted)...that is what I wanted for the holidays.  My Mom asked for the same.  We got more stuff for the donation pile.  I like donations--I feel good about doing it, it's tax deductible, it isn't "nothing" so it doesn't look I'm being a jerk.....and it helps a charity.  win all around.

of course, all my chums are saying: "well, you know...if it has been frozen, it is still viable/edible...."  But that isn't really the point....
this is going to be one of my best Christmas stories.... which makes it....a pretty good gift!



LanceHughes -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/25/2011 12:11:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy
<snipped>
I suspect next year I'm going to get a frozen, already used pocket comb.

fixed



erieangel -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/25/2011 4:46:47 PM)

My brother and his wife gave me one of those big tins of popcorn and a snack package with summer sausage and crackers.  Needless to say, I'll be taking those things to my work.



fetisheden -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/25/2011 5:31:00 PM)

a crackhead once gave me a bag of cheetos(after she had sucked the cheese dust off each chip & placed them back in the bag). dont ask!



Fornica -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/25/2011 5:48:06 PM)

I'm laughing so hard I have tears at the frozen expired meat. That's amazing. I think you should go spread it around their yard and whistle for all the stray animals to come spread xmas cheer.

My brother and his wife are totally loaded, but incredibly cheap..one year they gave me a snack tray thingy that *I* had given *them* the year before, still in the box and everything.
I said oh hey! It's my present to you!
My sister in law was mortified, she'd forgotten where she'd received it.
Asshats.



LafayetteLady -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/25/2011 7:04:22 PM)

I've received a couple of things in my life that were completely off the mark, but they aren't even worth mentioning compared to frozen food someone else no longer wanted!

I enjoy choosing gifts for people.  I put a lot of thought into what they would like and really try to come up with something they will enjoy but would never get for themselves.  The first year I was married, for my ex husband's mother, who was very Irish, I put together a gift basket with all Irish themed gifts, including a cross stitch of the Irish Prayer that I made myself (yes it fit very much with the style of her home).  She was so ungrateful, I never put any effort into another gift for her.



hausboy -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/25/2011 7:19:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

I'm laughing so hard I have tears at the frozen expired meat. That's amazing. I think you should go spread it around their yard and whistle for all the stray animals to come spread xmas cheer.

My brother and his wife are totally loaded, but incredibly cheap..one year they gave me a snack tray thingy that *I* had given *them* the year before, still in the box and everything.
I said oh hey! It's my present to you!
My sister in law was mortified, she'd forgotten where she'd received it.
Asshats.


I've gotten quite a few interesting suggestions as to what should I do with my newly acquired freezer additions.... some quite creative--thank you folks!

Of course, my thought?  Invite them over for dinner.  You know the rest.....




seragirl -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/25/2011 8:00:22 PM)

My ex just got a stick of deodorant. literally like a stick of deodrant wrapped up like a gift... lame. and no it wasnt from me it was from his mother



DOM68005 -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/25/2011 8:20:34 PM)

Trying to tell him something?? LOL

My worst gift was a shirt and tie in a gift box from Kmart. It didn't fit. When I went to my local store, they offered me $2.00 for it since I didn't have a receipt. I ended up doing an even exchange out of a display of 6 shirts that stock number. The one I took home wouldn't fit either, but at least I could wear it bumming around the house.



kalikshama -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/26/2011 9:41:48 AM)

quote:

A donation has been made to _____________ in your name." Give the gift of charity!


My Aunt started doing this a few years ago. I adopted a wolf in my father's name last year and a polar bear the year before. My manager gave us adopted sea turtles one year. They have GPS and you can follow them around the ocean.

http://www.conserveturtles.org/adoptaturtle.php

Adopting an endangered sea turtle is a great way to support Sea Turtle Conservancy programs focusing on research, education, advocacy and the protection of important habitats. For a donation of $25 ($35 outside the US) or more, you will receive a personalized adoption certificate, a Sea Turtle Conservation Guide, a membership window cling, a sea turtle sticker and bookmark, a hatchling magnet, and a one-year subscription to STC’s membership publication, all in a keepsake sea turtle folder.

http://www.conserveturtles.org/satelliteturtles.php



seragirl -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/26/2011 6:15:42 PM)

No clue...maybe.



seababy -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/26/2011 9:33:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

I'm laughing so hard I have tears at the frozen expired meat. That's amazing. I think you should go spread it around their yard and whistle for all the stray animals to come spread xmas cheer.

My brother and his wife are totally loaded, but incredibly cheap..one year they gave me a snack tray thingy that *I* had given *them* the year before, still in the box and everything.
I said oh hey! It's my present to you!
My sister in law was mortified, she'd forgotten where she'd received it.
Asshats.


I've gotten quite a few interesting suggestions as to what should I do with my newly acquired freezer additions.... some quite creative--thank you folks!

Of course, my thought?  Invite them over for dinner.  You know the rest.....



Perfection




seababy -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/26/2011 9:43:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

A donation has been made to _____________ in your name." Give the gift of charity!


My Aunt started doing this a few years ago. I adopted a wolf in my father's name last year and a polar bear the year before. My manager gave us adopted sea turtles one year. They have GPS and you can follow them around the ocean.

http://www.conserveturtles.org/adoptaturtle.php

Adopting an endangered sea turtle is a great way to support Sea Turtle Conservancy programs focusing on research, education, advocacy and the protection of important habitats. For a donation of $25 ($35 outside the US) or more, you will receive a personalized adoption certificate, a Sea Turtle Conservation Guide, a membership window cling, a sea turtle sticker and bookmark, a hatchling magnet, and a one-year subscription to STC’s membership publication, all in a keepsake sea turtle folder.

http://www.conserveturtles.org/satelliteturtles.php


Yep every year people have these stories. And in our western society how much more "stuff"do we need? At least if we buy a seeds/education packages/safe drinking water for people in need they won't be complaining thats what they got last year.

http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/news/article-2078516/Britons-spent-2-4bn-unwanted-Christmas-presents-year.html
Britons spent £2.4bn on unwanted Christmas presents this year



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