RE: Worst gift...EVER!

RE: Worst gift...EVER! (Full Version)

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Iamsemisweet -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/26/2011 9:47:12 PM)
When my older sister was a kid, she had really crooked teeth. They were bad enough that she was embarrassed to smile, but for some reason, my parents refused to buy her braces. I think my sister's dentist told them that everyone loses their teeth eventually anyway, so it wasn't a good investment. Despite having great teeth themselves and plenty of money, they elected to let her grow up with really bad teeth. In her 40s, my sister had a great job with good benefits, so she ended up getting braces and having her teeth fixed. When she finally got her braces off, she sent them to my mother for Christmas.

GreedyTop -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/26/2011 9:49:56 PM)
LOL! Good for her!

MistrixMsE -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/26/2011 10:10:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xXLithiumXx My mother and I do not get along. At all. We, in fact, hate each other. Every year, we have to make this show of being around each other because of my brother and his children. (My brother is a whiney titty baby, basically, so I get forced into being around people I hate.) I have decided to up the ante on not only not being invited back, but possibly making it so that she never speaks to me again. I never buy her a gift, and she never gives me a gift. She is the biggest prude on the planet. I am going to buy her a neon pink double headed dildo. The giant, huge, totally impossible to ignore, may have its own zip code, knobby bumps, and super improved vibrating motion twirly heads... Yes. Yes I am. I think I have found my soul sister! Wanna go shopping together next xmas? hehehe

MistrixMsE -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/26/2011 10:16:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: seababy quote: ORIGINAL: hausboy Actually, Lithium....I'm not angry about it. (no, really, I'm not) I'm having WAYYY too much fun with this to be angry. After they left, and I went through the freezer goodies, my Mom and I were laughing so hard I thought I was gonna die. I just gotta laugh about it.....just as I laugh every year when they shove lamb in front of my face.... after a certain point, it's just damn funny! I gotta say, though, giving two language dictionaries to someone who doesn't speak either language is just plain hilarious! FYI....Anthrax: not a good option. that's the "business" I'm in--Anthrax is too much like work. She doesn't show off her money....she's just remarkably cheap. I was thinking....maybe for next year....I've got a cabinet full of expired canned goods... Store the meat until next year and give it back But thaw it first... right before bringing it by.. I mean.. a week before bringing it by... muahahaha

NuevaVida -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/26/2011 10:20:47 PM)
Years ago the VP of a small start up where I worked, called a meeting with me and the president, to lodge a complaint against me. When I asked specifically what I had done to upset her, she said "I just don't like your aura." A few weeks later we had a holiday gift exchange. I gave her a basket of aura cleansing bath gels.

Termyn8or -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/27/2011 12:21:34 AM)
FR You all think this is a joke. One day the person who gave you that terrible gift is going to be at your house and if it is not proudly displayed on your body, the mantle, hutch or coffee table, you are so busted. "Where is that gift I gave you ?" "Huh" "Yes, the gold plated dinosaur statue with the pink artificial Bonzai tree with the ten naked green pygmies hanging down" "Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, it's in the shop" I mean if you tell them it is in the garage or attic you are fucked. If you told them the starving children in Africa got it you are fucked. But you know it could be worse. "Why don't you burn one of those insence we bought you" AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH "I ummmm, don't have a ighter" "Here" "The smoke detector will go off" "It didn't last time" Yes, and it killed the fucking dog. "What was that flavor again" "Limerick lime and frog, it's very rare" "Goooooood" Or : "How come you aren't wearing the dress we bought you" "You mean the orange one with the purple and blue stripes" "Yes" "Ummmmmmmm, it's in the wash" Yeah, in the fucking river ! Now if you're hitched it is a whole different story. The consequences could be gravelike. Observe : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Twivg7GkYts I know it's been here before but it bears repeating. And I don't think it even means much if you are dominant. Powerful shit. Powerful. T^T

seababy -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/27/2011 12:52:11 AM)
Extra ram would work for me. Still funny though.

hausboy -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/27/2011 1:07:27 PM)
Oh my god that was hysterical! (for the record....I would love a Dyson for a gift....)

kalikshama -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/27/2011 3:09:53 PM)
quote: A few weeks later we had a holiday gift exchange. I gave her a basket of aura cleansing bath gels. Priceless.

Arpig -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/27/2011 4:30:56 PM)
A dead turtle.

ShaharThorne -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/27/2011 7:59:04 PM)
I just gave Lizard her Christmas present. A hand-crocheted combo hood and scarf in various pink colors. Her girlfriend LOVES it! The right klitzhy gift.

littlewonder -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/27/2011 8:04:06 PM)
ok so it wasn't a bad gift but it was funny as hell to me. This Christmas my daughter gave me a container full of pickles lol. She has this amish farmers market across the street from her and she knows I absolutely love their homemade garlic pickles. I will eat an entire container in a sitting. So on Christmas day she puts a brown paper bag under the tree and we're opening gifts and it was pickles hahahaha. We both started laughing. Master was like "what are you both laughing about?" lol. Yeah...the pickles are gone already.

Masticator -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/27/2011 8:48:57 PM)
I'm trying to decide between nothing plus a story about how they really had gotten me a gift but their teenager wanted it so they gave it to her instead. (Yes I was there when she opened it.) .... or the mothballs from my first serious love. (Yes there were moths.) ... or the pen and used socks from my parents who forgot it was my 16th birthday and gave me these "panic gifts". But those stories from long ago (and even more recent ones in the OP's case) turn into hilarity that gives such amusement and laughter to the listeners that there was a good gift tucked in after all!

Aileen1968 -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/27/2011 8:51:10 PM)
I got a snickers bar for my birthday once. I hate snickers. Now had it been a Milky Way....

Kana -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/28/2011 5:43:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder ok so it wasn't a bad gift but it was funny as hell to me. This Christmas my daughter gave me a container full of pickles lol. She has this amish farmers market across the street from her and she knows I absolutely love their homemade garlic pickles. I will eat an entire container in a sitting. So on Christmas day she puts a brown paper bag under the tree and we're opening gifts and it was pickles hahahaha. We both started laughing. Master was like "what are you both laughing about?" lol. Yeah...the pickles are gone already. Will...not...make...pickle..comment...no...matter...how...difficult...it...may...be...to...restrain...myself...

GreedyTop -> RE: Worst gift...EVER! (12/28/2011 6:24:28 AM)
LOL Kana!! the avatar suits the post PERFECTLY!!

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