RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions

RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (Full Version)

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Lockit -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/27/2011 9:18:45 PM)
Knowing when a man is close to cumming... I would have removed my mouth and looked at him in that domly way we have and said... aren't we forgetting something here? This is a good time for instruction on what you expect, getting him to talk about what he was feeling, etc. If you find that he was saying to hell with it and was going to go for the cum, then you have reason for punishment if you use those dynamics. The thing I don't understand is... he safe worded. Was it clear he wasn't to safe word... but to say one certain thing to comply with you? Did you make this very clear or could this have been a confusion there? It is up to you in my opinion to sort these things out and make sure they are clear and not rush to punishment as if you do, you will find that it backfires on you. Its lots of fun to be in charge... but if you are... you really need to be in charge and there is a bit more to it than ordering something and punishing someone. If you value your submissive and relationship... you will learn a bit about punishment dynamics and dominant accountability.

MistrixMsE -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/27/2011 9:23:13 PM)
Realize with most guys & oral pleasure there is a tipping point and sometimes it surprises even them. In all sorts of scenes, I give my subs a slow down/pause word and a hard stop word. I tell them that I expect they will use both only if really necessary, but that I will respect the use of those words if used. Very rarely are they used (and not for lack of my effort with the whip).. I think that says something to the quality of my playmates, and our compatibility for intense play.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/27/2011 9:42:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: intriguedLynn I was testing sub's limits for receiving oral pleasure, and I was enjoying myself immensely when he used a safe word because it was "too intense." Suggestions for appropriate punishment? *edit - addition to original post* Oops, I omitted that he was to inform me when he was close to his limit or ready to cum. So my question should have been, suggestions for appropriate punishment for disobeying.. So you were sucking him off, told him to inform you when he was close to his limit and now you want to punish him because he did. Are you so new not only to BDSM but to sex that you think a guy is able to form really coherent thoughts when his partner is sucking his dick? He told you he was close, by safe wording. Apparently, you figured he was going to verbalize it in some other way (which you don't say you did in your post), and because YOU weren't clear he is to be punished. Nice.

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/27/2011 9:46:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady So you were sucking him off, told him to inform you when he was close to his limit and now you want to punish him because he did. Are you so new not only to BDSM but to sex that you think a guy is able to form really coherent thoughts when his partner is sucking his dick? He told you he was close, by safe wording. Apparently, you figured he was going to verbalize it in some other way (which you don't say you did in your post), and because YOU weren't clear he is to be punished. Nice. Yeah, that makes ZERO sense to me too. Most guys can't even speak coherent words when they're that close to cumming. Hell, I can't either if I'm that close. haha

tazzygirl -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/27/2011 9:47:06 PM)
And they make the cutest faces!

MistrixMsE -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/27/2011 9:52:16 PM)
Watch for the curly toes... they can never fake the curly toes! LOL (and if I am coherent when I am cumming... I am faking it [:D] )

Lockit -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/27/2011 9:55:37 PM)
[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

tazzygirl -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/27/2011 9:58:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistrixMsE Watch for the curly toes... they can never fake the curly toes! LOL (and if I am coherent when I am cumming... I am faking it [:D] ) If Im not growling, he is doing it wrong.

lizi -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/28/2011 12:05:10 AM)
Shit happens. Human beings are not perfect and don't always follow the same predictable paths and we don't even know ourselves when things change up. Haven't you ever been surprised yourself by something that kind of came out of the blue? Plus, sometimes submissives push themselves to take more for their Dominant than what they're comfortable with. It's hard to recognize at those times where the line is. I don't think the guy should be punished, he probably feels like a failure already, instead figure out a way to fix the breakdown in communication. JMHO, but I think punishment in general is a crock.

seababy -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/28/2011 2:38:13 AM)
I think alot of submissives hate to disappoint. Disapproval is punishment enough for me. Are you sure your not looking for an excuse to introduce "funishment" into the mix? If you want to spank/whip his butt or use nipple claps you dont need an excuse Dommes do that for fun! The event that occured sounds more like a training and communication issue that needs more thought put into it rather than an opportunity to punish.

Arpig -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/28/2011 3:45:05 AM)
quote: he was to inform me when he was close to his limit or ready to cum. What the Hell are you complaining about, he did just that, you say so yourself. quote: he used a safe word because it was "too intense." What the fuck is that if not informing you he was close to his limit? For punishment I suggest you tell him to find a worthwhile dominant.

Ninebelowzero -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/28/2011 3:52:36 AM)
I've learnt to fake my cum face. quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl And they make the cutest faces!

Arpig -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/28/2011 3:54:50 AM)
I just grew a really bushy beard....nobody can tell what face I'm making under it.

LaTigresse -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/28/2011 3:57:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Because you're a clueless bint. I even read the follow up posting and I still second what LadyHib wrote. Punishing a guy for doing what you've asked...........clueless. Hibby for hitting the clueless bint on the proverbial head..........priceless.

Ninebelowzero -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/28/2011 4:20:03 AM)
Mmmmmm I've thought about this quite a lot. My advice to the OP is do it again & again until YOU get it right. I'm positive your sub will hate every minute of oral pleasure & will ensure that he does everything he possibly can to ensure you're competence is total.

Kana -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/28/2011 4:48:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: intriguedLynn Ah, a discussion is pretty what I had planned for tonight when he arrives. I am looking more for ideas for if this happens again. He had never disobeyed before, so I am thinking a good talk and discovering together if or how he can be more aware... or if he was aware and was just pushing himself for my pleasure, until the threshold was too close to give warning. So many aspects to consider which is why I love the constructive comments or criticisms from this forum. Sounds like time for a good guilt trip-you know, one of those, "I expected so much better of you..." talks...:-)

thishereboi -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/28/2011 5:01:15 AM)
I would never punish someone for using their safe word. The whole point behind it is giving the sub a way to let me know there is a problem. Then he is supposed to be able to trust me to stop what I am doing and either try something else or stop play all together. How can they trust me if I punish them for using it?

DarkSteven -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/28/2011 5:27:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl Most guys can't even speak coherent words when they're that close to cumming. HEY! That is a sneaky way to imply that we ought to be coherent when we're NOT coming!

intriguedLynn -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/28/2011 9:34:40 AM)
Constructive criticisms and comments noted. Yes, I know I need to learn more, which is why I am here. And I am learning I need to phrase inquiries on this forum more fully before posting. We had a nice discussion when he got home from work yesterday, about expectations on both sides, levels of safewords (for lack of a better term), and so much more. He was not feeling well so instead of a play night we had a simple dinner snuggled. He was visibly disappointed in not having the opportunity to pleasure me until I reminded him that is willingness to place me first was a great gift and that caring for his needs gives me great pleasure as well. Every moment together is cherished.

Lockit -> RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions (12/28/2011 10:44:10 AM)
Just what did you not phrase well enough that we misunderstood something? You learned that you need to phrase things better because we weren't sticky sweet in our responses and now you know about us. However, what was unclear to us?

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